Texting early in dating can be tricky, but there’s no perfect formula. The key is to keep things genuine, balanced, and free from pressure.
Whether it’s sending a “good morning” text or deciding who messages first, what matters most is mutual effort and comfort.
If you’re no longer interested, don’t ghost—just be honest. Text as often as feels natural and focus on creating a real, two-way connection.
Here are 7 simple rules to help you build healthy, balanced texting habits in early dating.
1. Balance consistency and effort
Be consistent without overdoing it. Regular messages show interest, but don’t flood their phone.
Enjoy the little rituals. “Good morning” or “good night” texts can be sweet if you both like them—but they shouldn’t feel like a rule.
Keep space for yourself. You don’t owe each other constant updates. It’s healthy to let the conversation breathe.
2. Feel what you text
Avoid the generic, boring, texts. Messaging out of boredom can feel careless or even disrespectful. You can send them memes, pictures, songs or anything else that reminds you of them. Make texting fun!
Text them when you genuinely feel like texting them. Text them for a reason, a good, genuine reason; it makes the conversation flow easier, and be more of a genuine conversation.
Reply when you can. No need to wait hours just to seem busy. Respond when you’re able, and find a texting rhythm that feels comfortable for both of you.
3. Be yourself, not an act
Ask interesting questions. Curiosity shows real interest and opens space for deeper conversations.
You can be flirty. There are tons of fun ways to make a texting conversation get flirty. If flirty is your nature, use it, make it fun n’ flirty!
Don’t fake interest. If you don’t care about something, don’t ask. Authenticity builds trust; faking it creates distance.
4. Keep your own life too
Be patient. Be patient when you’re waiting for a reply. Pushing them into texting you faster won’t make things better.
It’s good to have enough. Obsessing over how often they text can ruin the fun. Enjoy the moments you do share instead of worrying about “more.”
Don’t glue yourself to the phone. Curiosity is natural, but refreshing your inbox constantly only builds anxiety. Reply when you can and live your life in between.
5. Be mindful & avoid games
Avoid waiting games. Delaying your reply just to seem busy or “cool” only creates distance. Text back when you can and keep it natural.
Don’t fake ‘enthusiasm’ nor ‘coolness’. If you’re excited, show it. If you’re calm, that’s fine too. Pretending to be someone you’re not makes the connection feel forced.
Enjoy the text conversation you’re having. Real connections are built on honest, in-the-moment conversations, not on overthinking or strategizing.
6. Don’t expect them to always text first
Reciprocate. One person might initiate more than the other sometimes, and that’s fine as long as there’s genuine interest on both ends.
Initiation is a good thing, a sign of interest. One person might initiate more than the other sometimes, and that’s fine as long as there’s genuine interest on both ends.
Drop the ‘chase me’ mindset. If you feel like texting them first, text them. Especially if you’re a woman: text him first! Playing hard to get or breadcrumbing only creates distance.
7. If you’re into sexting, lead with consent and respect
When consent isn’t taken into consideration, especially while texting during the early stages, that’s one of the early signs that you’ll be heading to a toxic relationship.
Always prioritize consent and keep it mutual. Sexting only works when both people are comfortable and equally interested. Clear communication keeps things fun and safe.
Respect boundaries, especially with pictures. Before sending anything explicit, talk about it first. What feels flirty to you might make the other person uncomfortable. If they say no or even hesitate, stop immediately.
Key Takeaways: Texting in the early stages
- Remember, they can’t see your facial expressions or hear your tone—keep your words clear and kind.
- Healthy texting habits early on set the tone for healthy communication later. Don’t play games; stay genuine.
- If you text all day and both enjoy it, that’s fine—just make sure you still have your own space and routine.
- Stop keeping score over who texts first. Real interest is shown through effort, not counting messages.
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