We’re finally breaking down what men think when women don’t text them back!
If he gives you hints you’re texting him too much and wants you to stop texting him, that’s another deal. We already know how he feels at that point.
For whatever reason you’re not texting him, let it be games, work, not knowing what to text, etc… He’ll be thinking about it.
Though, it comes down to a very important question: does not texting a guy back make him want you more?
Well, it might and it might not… What he thinks when you don’t contact him depends on your connection and both of your personalities.
When you don’t text him he might think you’re busy, purposely ignoring him, playing games to get attention, he gets worried about you, he thinks he did something wrong, or he doesn’t give it any thought at all.
There are more detailed things that could be going on in his mind. And I sure made sure to make a list of it!
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12 things he thinks when you don’t text him back:
1. He thinks you’re busy
This one is a very common thought when you don’t reply to his text.
It’s more of a rational thing to think of, and it’s usually when it hasn’t been too long of him waiting for your reply.
If he’s busy too and understands what being busy is and feels like, he’s more likely to think of this when you don’t reply to his text.
On the other hand, if you overdo the timing, and instead of hours, we’re talking days, that’s when the thoughts start to get a different level of irrationality.
2. He thinks he did/said something wrong: he thinks he messed up
If you’re taking way too long, it might feel to him like you’re ignoring him. He’s very likely to think of this especially when you don’t answer his calls.
The thought of “What did I do wrong?” has plenty of room to start kicking in if you didn’t specifically mention to him about having a busy day or similar to that.
In this case, he’ll think and rethink all the things he said and done to find out that wrongful thing that made you mad or sad or angry enough to not reply to him for a long time.
If you’re playing a game to keep him interested, this is not going to keep him interested through text.
3. He thinks you’re purposely ignoring him as part of some game
This is usually what he thinks when you don’t text him if you’re at the beginning of the connection when you don’t know much of one another.
It can be a pretty logical explanation to himself since a text takes a few seconds to be written and sent.
“What the hell is she up to?!” Countless materials are floating all around social media that advise women on how to behave, and to be more particular on ‘how to make him chase you’.
Unfortunately, a lot of women follow those “techniques” that don’t lead to healthy bases in a relationship.
Since such “advice” is all over the media, he most probably couldn’t help but see/hear/read at least something about it.
He probably has dealt with it before; so, the thought of you playing games when you don’t reply to his texts for too long is likely to go through his head at some point.
4. He thinks about whether sending another text is a good idea or not
When you don’t contact him he can think of whether sending you another text would make you contact him back.
We’ve heard of double texting before, haven’t we? Well, this is one of the times he starts considering sending another text, and in most cases, he does.
He might just send another text making sure you’ve got the message, or a “hellooo?” to let you know he’s alive and there, but he also might just decide to not text you another word.
He’s definitely thinking about it, and whether he does it (decides to send another text) or not, we don’t know the exact odds of that.
5. He gets worried thinking something happened to you
If he’s used to your fast replying, and he made sure that he didn’t do anything wrong, then he’ll start thinking that something happened to you, or that your phone must’ve got broken somehow.
“Is she okay?” We’ve heard stories, we’ve seen movies, we’ve read books. A space of time, long enough, can make a man wonder, and make him start thinking about the worst scenario.
If you’re early in the dating stages, this might not be likely to happen. However, if in a relationship and if you know he loves you, this might cross his mind.
6. “I hurt her in the last conversation we had.”
Guys feel confused when they get left on read. However, if you haven’t left his message on read, he might get concerned.
If you’ve had an argument or a little debate that cannot even be considered a fight or an argument, there are chances he’ll think of this once the waters calm down a little.
When something goes off of the routine, and there’s a slight change in the way of talking or even the time you take to reply to his messages, there’s definitely room for “I hurt her/him.”
7. “What the hell is going on?”
This is a common thought especially when you don’t answer his calls.
He can be confused and without a clue of what could possibly be the reason you’re not replying to his text/s or answering his calls.
Men don’t usually overthink the details, if they’re confused, they’re confused.
You’ll be in his head for a while, which might present you as a bit of a mysterious figure in his eyes. Of course, this is usually at the beginning of the connection (e.g. early stages of dating).
On the other hand, if you’re in a long-term relationship with him, confusion might kick him hard along with worrisome.
8. “Did she even see my message?! What if she’s no longer interested in me?”
Another way to give reason and explanation to your silence could be the famous thought: “Did she get the message?”.
Us women do it too, we know the drill.
After seeing the two checks, or maybe if you’ve left him on read, he might just question your interest in him.
It’s either that, or you automatically become this interesting mystery that tickles his imagination on what you’re up to, and how you go about your day.
9. “Why is she taking so long to reply?” – He might even google it!
Anything just to explain a mysterious behavior, right? We’ve all been there, and men, as surprising as it may sound, do this too. They google things up too.
So, he could be thinking that searching up “why she’s taking too long to reply” is a good enough idea to rest his mind a little.
Again, if you’re in a long-term relationship, he’s more likely to overthink it and think harder to give your behavior an explanation.
10. “Should I step up my game? Is my texting getting boring?”
Men don’t overthink much like us women do. However, once he’s down that road, he’ll be going for it.
“I sent something boring, great!” Chances are he’ll question his texting skills too at this point. This leads you to seem more desirable in his eyes.
He might see you as someone hard to please and might try to go out of his way to please you.
This doesn’t mean “you win the game”, not if you’re looking for something healthy out of this!
11. “What if she’s with some other guy? She’s probably texting someone else.”
It’s a very common thought that wanders men’s heads when a woman doesn’t respond to their texts or calls.
Texting habits in the early stages of dating can get chaotic.
Perhaps you’re both wandering around and this isn’t much of a big deal, but since you’re into each other, there’s still room for jealousy and such thoughts in this part too.
All of us can relate to this one at some point. Men do it too, for sure.
12. He thinks you’ll eventually reply, so he’ll stop stressing about it
Men are laid back and relaxed, and again, they don’t tend to overthink things as much as us women do.
Now, whether he went through all the possible reasons and thought it through a lot, or whether he didn’t think much of it, he’ll get to the point where he’s going to deal with it another way…
“She’ll reply eventually.”
He leaves it there until the next time you reply. You eventually reply, and his mind finally rests.
His way of thinking when you don’t text him back depends on a few scenarios
Not replying to his text is not ok. It can mess up his head big time, and it’s fair to say that at some point it’s a toxic behavior.
You shouldn’t ignore his text unless it’s about your safety and well-being. Purposefully ignoring his texts can have a negative impact on his self-perception and self-esteem.
There are particular situations and circumstances that determine his train of thoughts when you don’t text him back:
– If you left him on read. When you leave him on read with a message, chances for him to think more negative things, and to perceive it as a way of you ignoring him are higher.
– The last conversation you’ve had. This too determines whether his train of thoughts will be on the negative or neutral lane.
If your conversation was calm and positive, he’s likely to be confused or not put much thought into it.
On the other hand, if you had a chaotic conversation his mind is likely to be troubled and weigh more on the negative side of the story.
– If you’ve been acting differently lately. This can affect him to question your connection. It’s just a text, however, it can affect his mood and his thoughts a lot.
– If he’s been acting differently lately. Not replying to his texts can make him reflect on his behavior if he’s been acting differently recently.
It’ll give him a little space if you will.
– If you both know what types of ‘phone people’ you are. When you both know what types of ‘phone people’ you are, then chances are he’ll have a clearer idea of what you’re up to.
If he knows you’re not glued to your phone 24/7 then he’ll get it if you don’t reply immediately.
– If he knows your routine. If he knows you’re busy, or if he knows you’re up to something that takes a lot of work and focus recently, he’ll be understanding and be more at peace with his pace of thoughts.
– The stage of dating you’re in. When in the very early stages of dating, texting can either be constant and consistent or the opposite of that.
However, if you’re in a deeper connection than the superficials, not texting him back can make room for suspicion and other negative thoughts.
Make sure you know the expectations and the needs of one another, especially in your ‘texting game’.
Take the help of a therapist coach! RelationshipHero
Summing everything up!
Here’s what guys really think when you don’t text back:
- He thinks you’re busy;
- He thinks he messed up;
- He thinks you’re purposely ignoring him as part of a game;
- He thinks about whether sending another text is a good idea or not;
- He’ll get worried thinking something happened to you;
- He’ll find you intriguing and mysterious;
- “What the hell is going on?”
- “Did she even see my message?! What if she’s no longer interested in me?”
- “Why is she taking so long to reply?” – He might even google it
- “Should I step up my game? Is my texting getting boring?”
- “What if she’s with some other guy? She’s probably texting someone else”
- He thinks you’ll eventually reply, so he’ll stop stressing about it;
Does “don’t text him and he will text you” work?
He notices the fact that you don’t text him. Though, how likely is he to text you if you don’t text him depends a lot on many factors.
The “don’t text him and he will text you” method is likely to work if:
- He’s taking you for granted.
- You’ve been the one texting him first every time you text.
- He’s into playing mind games.
- You’re the one to carry the text conversations most of the time.
This is not worth trying if your connection is genuine and mutually appreciated.
If he’s not into mind games, and if he’s seeking a genuine connection, not texting him just to get his attention or to make him text you will only drive him away from you.
It will drive him away if you don’t text him or don’t respond to something he sent if he puts just as much effort as you do in the connection and text conversations.
On the other hand, if he’s been taking you for granted, and if he’s been very passive in your text conversations this would be a way to open his eyes a little.
However, keep in mind that this is not the healthiest solution to this problem. If open communication can’t solve it, then you might be dating the wrong person.
Once you find yourself desperately trying things to get his attention and affection, might be the moment you reconsider dating this person.
If you’re close to one another at least just slightly, he’ll know that you’ll eventually reply.
If you’re playing games and ignoring him purposely, then I’d suggest you quit it, it’s far from healthy.
He’s either going to get tired of it or going to learn to play along; None of those are healthy, so keep it real!
FAQ – Sending & receiving texts to/with him
1. Is it better to ignore his text, or to text him back?
It’s absolutely better to text him back whenever you can. This, at least if you want something real, and if you’re not into games being played by him or you.
2. Will he text again if I ignore his text?
If you don’t do this too often, then he probably will text again.
However, I’m assuming you’re following some ‘don’t text him and he will text you’ technique. It’s not the healthiest way to start off.
Try to be authentic and reply when you feel like replying if you want the connection to be genuine.
3. I didn’t text him back. Is that going to make him want me more?
Not texting a guy back does not make him want you more. He’ll notice when you stop contact, of course, he does.
In the beginning, it might make him curious when you don’t text him back. But then, if you do it too often it can get tiring for him to wait around for replies.
Don’t forget that we need a contact in order to form and strengthen connections.
4. He texted me after ignoring me. What should I do?
Ask yourself if you really want to reply, and how he made you feel while ignoring you.
If he made you feel bad for not texting back, and if this isn’t something you want to do, then don’t text him. However, if he doesn’t do it very often, then reply to him; If his reason is solid, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.
5. I’ve been ignoring him for a long time now, but he keeps texting me. What should I do in this situation?
Tell him straightforwardly that you don’t want to keep in contact with him. It’ll save his and your time.
A simple “Hey [name], I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the connection I’m seeking with you. Best of luck to you!” will do.
If that doesn’t do the work, then you can block him if that would make you feel less disturbed.
First time I read your post. I like the way you write and of course, your exact analyze of the situation. It was very helpful thanks!