How do you know if you’re annoying a guy over text? The answer to that is: He either tells you, doesn’t reply, or never lets you know about it.
Too much texting is not just about catching yourself not being able to resist the urge to not send that ‘one last’ text ‘just to make sure he’s getting the rest of the texts’, you texting freak!
“Another flirty text? Sure. Well, how about another one? Absolutely! Okay, just one more…”, and the worst, but my personal favorite: “Helloo? Did you get my texts?”. CLOSURE!
If you still didn’t get the point, then we absolutely are in need of a talk… Let’s clear this up real quick:
Tackling the basics of ‘too much texting’
What is ‘too much’ texting? & How much texting is too much in a relationship?
Let’s get this straight. Too much is only defined by the person itself. Too much texting is if one, or both get annoyed or disturbed by the amount of texts they’re receiving from the other side.
If both of you are enjoying whatever amount of texts you’re sending, then it’s not too much. However, if one of you is not feeling it as much, then the other is overdoing it for sure. The same rule applies to texting when in a relationship.
If one of you is bothered, then a simple “Good morning”, hell just one letter, could be too much. It doesn’t have to be a long text to be considered too much. It’s about the energy, and the vibe of the conversation.
Is texting everyday too much?/Is it too much to text him everyday?
Well, texting everyday is not too much if:
- You’re in a relationship with him & you both enjoy texting with each other;
- The conversation flows naturally, and is unforced;
- He knows you, and he told you he doesn’t mind;
- He told you that he loves reading your texts – loads of texts, if you will;
- You’re both enjoying the conversation.
So, you’ve understood the basics of too much. Now you know it is all about the feeling, the vibe, the energy that both of you get and receive. You’ve got the ‘too much texting’ defined, honey… YOU’RE READY!
Now back to answering: How do I know if I’m texting him too much? – 10 determining signs that you are, indeed, texting him too much:
1. You text him a lot of times in a row, without leaving him room to respond
Now, you know what the exception is. If you’re not part of that exception, another way to know you’re overdoing the texting game is to see how much room you leave HIM to respond.
Let’s say you’re discussing a topic, or he was about to answer a question, and you hit him with the “oh my! ME TOO” and start talking more about yourself, if you resonate to this on a daily basis then you might be texting a little too much, sister.
2. Walls vs bricks: The lengths of your texts are different
Your chat contains a lot of your texts, they’re long, they’re full – walls of texts, while he replies only with a brick. You get the analogy?
You share stories, you share a lot of things, and he only replies with short texts. That’s not the vibe we’re looking for. You’re texting him too much!
Another way to know this is if the chat’s dominant color is your texts’ color, it’s that, exactly that – you’re overdoing it.
You catch yourself wanting to send another text… D-did I hear ‘Clingy’? Oh, wait I heard something else too: Texting too freaking much!
3. He’s not responding that quick/well, or he’s not responding at all
He always replies like a lot later, to the bunch of texts you sent. Hear me out: there’s a difference between everyone’s ‘too much’. What I consider too much, may not be too much to somebody else.
In this case, if you see him constantly replying days after, or like 6-7 hours later (if he’s not busy having a life), then even a simple “hi” could be ‘too much’ for him. I’m not going to even start on the times he stops responding at all.
It’s not worth getting upset or sad about it. Your energies don’t match, and that’s okay, it happens to everyone of us at some point of our lives.
4. You catch yourself double texting
Double text is sending him a text, him reading it and not responding to it, and then you texting him again. That means you’re not leaving room to respond, and that you’re too impatient to get a reply from him.
I’m not saying that double texting is not at all acceptable. If it doesn’t happen very often, and it happens from both sides as just something completely normal, then you don’t have to worry much about it.
BUT, if he leaves you on read when you ask him a question, resist the urge to ask him again! You’re texting him too much.
5. You text him for no particular reason, not even ‘just for fun’
This is the part where you get to ask your own majestic self: Am I annoying him through text?
You text him for no particular reason, a simple “wyd”, just for the hell of it, right? Well, the answer to the ‘am I annoying him’ stands on the answers and replies he gives you when you text him for no particular reason.
If he’s all cool about it, and engages in the conversation, then you’re Gucci. On the other hand, if he’s not showing signs that he’s interested through text, then you might want to change your texting habits, girlfriend!
6. He’s doesn’t try to move the conversation further
Again, it has to do a lot with his replies too. When he enjoys getting your texts, or when he likes you, he’ll show it even through text.
BUT he seems not too enthusiastic to move the conversation ahead, then you might want to take this as a sign. One of those good solid signs that you’re either texting too much, or he’s tired and doesn’t want to talk about it.
A conversation should be enjoyed by both sides, in this case if he doesn’t enjoy it he’s not going to make a move to go further ahead with it. If this happens with almost every conversation, then you’ve got the sign.
7. The energy levels? Well, your bar is high, and his is low
You’re super duper enthusiastic, while he’s super duper low. You seem excited to be texting, while he seems to be… well, tolerating of it.
You know once you get to look at the chat. If you’re too enthusiastic with emoji, and all that, then you might think once more before you send another text.
It’s absolutely okay if being excited about things(including texting) is part of your personality, if you seem to be bothering him, then don’t change your personality; Simply, find someone that’ll be able to accept and admire that part of your personality.
8. It feels like you’re chasing him
You’re always asking the questions, he’s replying shortly. You initiate the texts almost always and he’s not much into it. You’re chasing him.
It is a different story if he texts you everyday, but if you’re constantly ‘making the move’, then it’s time to take a moment and get the point. We’ve already defined the ‘too much’ texting soup; What you have to do is:
Take a look at the chat with him, if this stands true, then you might be doing the ‘too much’ for him. We already know what short replies from a guy mean, and yes, we already know when he’s not that much into you, yes, through text.
9. You reply right up every single time
It’s just you’re there, and you can’t wait to reply. This is good, but not to the point where you give the impression that you don’t have a life.
I mean, come on! You’ve got to be doing something else other than being on your phone all day waiting for his texts. How about he waits for your texts?
Unless it’s a thing you both do, or something that you do but not on purpose so that you ‘don’t reply too late’, then it’s probably the ‘too much texting’ smelly soup.
10. You kind of just know, hence you’re searching this
You see there’s something off, and you wonder if you’re texting him too much. This is it, the bell ringing. You can clearly tell that by just scrolling through your chat.
Look at the text messages, look at who’s always texting first, and look for those walls of texts. Pay attention to how much you’re both engaged, is the texting game being one sided, or there’s reciprocation from both sides?
It’s good to take a step back to observe and reflect on your behavior. You did just that, right now, and you should be proud of yourself; Let’s get that clear: Not proud for texting him too much, but proud for noticing that you’re texting him too much, and finally making a decision to change that.
I texted him too much. How do I fix it, how to stop texting him?
There’s a way out of this, unless he just stopped texting you back.
First of all, let’s comprehend that this is not the end of our careers as bad texters, or girlfriends, and even better: let’s comprehend it’s not the end of the world.
You overtexted, so what? Coming back from texting too much should be easy, right? RIGHT?!
You know what, Patricia? It is easy; hear me out:
Get something to do. Boredom will lead you to text him too much, for no particular reason, and to overthink the times between your replies. Think about it, what do you get from it? That’s right a head full of overthinking that serves you no good.
That’s why, get something to do with your life. Trust me, you won’t have the time to reply, let alone double text!
Resist the urge to text him again… for the 3rd time! If you’ve got nothing else to do, then just don’t text him that much. If it’s not part of your personality then you don’t have to overdo things in order to impress him. If you don’t find something funny, send him two ‘ha’s instead of 3 or 4.
If being a serial texter is part of your personality, then own it queen! You don’t owe him to restrict your enthusiasm – You don’t owe him, nor anyone else that.
Get to know if you’re annoying by apologizing for texting too much. Then depending on his response, you’ll get to know if you can go on with the same tempo, or if you need to slow it down a little. A simple “Sorry if I’m overdoing the texting” or “Let me know if you think I’m texting too much” will do the work.
Think about it, why do you really want to text him? Once you ask yourself that question and realize that you’re either bored, or in need of attention, or that you genuinely care about him and the topic you’re about to text him, you’ll figure it out yourself. You’ll notice that your texting will get more reasonable.
It’s about the vibe, the energy, the feelings, the mood, the reciprocation. You know what to look for in that chat now.
Whatever the case would be, I’d suggest you to stop hanging around the phone, or making your entire world revolve around the guy and his impression of you. Own what you are, and try your best to be reasonable. You’ve got this!