When someone doesn’t text back, it’s easy to feel frustrated or ignored — especially if you tend to have an anxious attachment style.
The best move? Keep it light, funny, and confident.
A good sense of humor can turn an awkward silence into playful banter — and sometimes, a bit of honest self-disclosure makes you more relatable without oversharing.
Here are 30+ funny, flirty, and clever things to say when someone doesn’t text back.
1. Funny comebacks for someone ignoring you
1. “If you’re lost in the woods, send me an SOS and I’ll come straight to you.”
2. “My text message must be lost or stuck in the Bermuda Triangle.”
3. “Romeo and Juliet sacrificed their life for their love. I guess at least you can text me back.”
4. “You must have left Earth for another planet, cuz’ I never got a text back.”
5. “I guess, I should team up with Scooby and Shaggy to solve your mysterious case.”
6. “I think is time to call the GHOSTBUSTERS!”
7. “ Switching internet providers—clearly, you’re not getting my messages.”
8. “Ignoring me is the cutest thing that you do.”
9. “Waiting for your reply is like waiting for pigs to fly.”
10. “I guess you’re too stunt to speak again.”
11.“You’re replies are as fast as Speedy Gonzales.”
12. “The Fast & Furious team called—they want you as the fastest texter ever.”
13. “I sent a bloody long text and then there was SILENCE.”
14. “Planet Earth called and wants you back here.”
15. “All of a sudden I found myself on the market again.”
16. “Been to physio lately? Your thumbs seem numb?”
17. “I guess you’re on some island taking Vitamin Sea.
18.“I said I’d check my balance—meant bank, not life.”
2. Sarcastic but sweet replies to text
19. “Not to brag, but I am posting on social media just so you can notice my existence. You’re welcome.”
20. “Not today, Satan, not today. I cannot give up, cuz’ (his name) is going to text me back.”
21. “I usually freak out when you don’t reply to my texts, but now I am freaking out even more.”
22. “These last days, I had more conversations with the voices in my head reflecting than with you.”
23. “I am proud to say that I am a pretty detail-oriented person. If I text you once, I am gonna text you twice in a row just to make sure.”
24. “I am assuming that you’re writing a bestseller for me, that’s why it is taking time to reply to me.”
25. “I am not good at being patient, just like Saul grew impatient while waiting for Samuel..so, still waitingggg…”
26. “I guess I will sit in silence and wait for Godot or you, I don’t know anymore.”
3. Funny apologies to make him smile
27. “Pleaseeee forgiveee meeee not by Bryan Adams. Just Please Forgive Me.”
28. “I am sorry for what I have done to you. I was not being human, I guess I was being some sort of cyborg.”
29. “Mainly, I am Perfect, I don’t make mistakes. Ohhh,, who am I kidding.. I am terrible at it. SORRY.”
30. “I really do apologize when I am wrong…well, only when I am drunk.”
31. “Maybe my laugh was so funny it sent you to another continent.”
32. “Hope you weren’t annoyed by my Hello From The Other Side… very Adele of me.”
33. “100% sure your phone ran out of space the moment you started talking to me.”
34. “My presence must have taken your breath away. Guess you’re just speechless.”
35. “If three celebrities and I were in a room, who would you save first?”
36. “It’s you, me, and Rihanna in a boat—who do you leave behind?”
37. “Your boss, me, and Ana de Armas all call at once… who gets the first pick-up?”
38. “In how many places have you lived today?”
39. “What color best describes our relationship?”
40. “Who’s your hero today?”
4. Text a knock-knock joke to break the ice
41. “Knock, Knock
Who is there?
Meaning…
Meaning Who?
Meaning of your life…”
42. “Knock, Knock
Who is there?
OHMYGOD
OHMYGOD Who?
OHMYGOD you’re so gorgeous.”
If you’ve already sent a few texts, take a breather before hitting send again. Sometimes silence says plenty, and waiting might tell you more than another message ever could.
Before you decide to double text him, check your vibe — are you reaching out because you want to connect, or just because the waiting feels uncomfortable?
And hey, if the whole “what’s he thinking?” thing is driving you nuts, talking it out with a licensed therapist can help you get clarity, calm your nerves, and figure out your next move with confidence.
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