If you want to express your dissatisfaction toward someone who doesn’t reply, you should be concise, subtle, and respectful.
Understandably, at this moment you’re frustrated, ignored, and rejected at some scale.
Yet, you can address your intention without making it look like an accusation if you form a meticulous response.
This article will provide you with clever, funny, light-hearted, and thoughtful phrases so you can get an answer or define your situation.
To be more practical, here are 30+ witty and funny things to say when someone doesn’t text back:
1. Keep it subtle and be flirty
How you respond to someone who doesn’t text back depends on how the longitude that he hasn’t interacted with you.
If you aren’t dating exclusively and he hasn’t texted back more than four days then you can be understandable and direct too.
In this case, you need to balance what you’re feeling, and thinking, what you want and what’s happening.
1. So, first, state what is concerning you.
Keep in mind that you don’t know the answer to why he is acting like this, that’s why you should not jump to any conclusion.
2. Then just slightly mention how this is impacting you.
3. Be careful to not use any harsh “funny” phrases that he might take it personally.
To avoid hurting him, you need to know his insecurities and sensitiveness.
“If you’re lost in the woods, send me an SOS and I’ll come straight to you.”
“My text message must be lost or stuck in the Bermuda Triangle.”
“Romeo and Juliet sacrificed their life for their love. I guess at least you can text me back.”
2. Be straightforward but keep it light-hearted
Being blunt to someone who doesn’t text back for more than a few days isn’t a wrong thing.
Even though what you want to express is true and the right thing to do, you still need to be tactful.
You should state your intention but make him feel comfortable too.
“You must have left Earth for another planet, cuz’ I never got a text back.”
“I guess, I should team up with Scooby and Shaggy to solve your mysterious case.”
“I think is time to call the GHOSTBUSTERS!”
“Just letting you know that I am going to change my internet supplier. I am not getting any reply from you.”
“Ignoring me is the cutest thing that you do.”
“Waiting for your reply is like waiting for pigs to fly.”
“I guess you’re too stunt to speak again.”
3. Express your disappointment via corny/short jokes or phrases
The main thing to do when it comes to crafting a funny phrase is to have a point and make it sound interesting.
To achieve this point, you should know why you’re disappointed.
- Do you feel like your needs aren’t being hurt?
- Are you surprised that he is not answering like he always does?
- Have you always initiated texts and now he isn’t even trying to do it?
Then, according to your need, you choose a short joke that is related to your situation.
“You’re replies are as fast as Speedy Gonzales.”
“The casting director of Fast and Furious called, and asked for you to take a role as the faster texter ever.”
“I sent a bloody long text and then there was SILENCE.”
“Planet Earth called and wants you back here.”
“All of a sudden I found myself on the market again.”
“Have you been to a Physiotherapist lately cuz’ I am afraid your thumbs are numb?”
4. Consider being self-aware and sultry
I am aware that now you might think that this might be an unusual combination.
Well, it might sound like it but reflecting on your behavior will help you grow as a person and know how to behave with him.
If you have an anxious attachment style then you won’t beg or send multiple text messages constantly.
Now, you can take a step back, reflect, use your sense of humor and keep it flirty.
- Keep in mind that self-reflection might be done positively.
Using humor while dating is healthy and attractive when you respect each other’s boundaries.
The type of humor that you should use depends on how long he hasn’t been replying and how long you’ve been dating.
“Not to brag but I am posting on social media just so you can notice my existence. You’re welcome.”
“Not today Satan, not today. I cannot give up, cuz’ (his name) is going to text me back.”
“I usually freak out when you don’t reply to my texts, but now I am freaking out even more.”
“These last days I had more conversations with the voices in my head reflecting than with you.”
“I am proud to say that I am a pretty detail-oriented person. If I text you once, I am gonna text you twice in a row just to make sure.”
5. Use sarcasm to connect your situation to a similar one
You can create a funny and amicable environment if you use sarcasm and self-disclosure to some extent.
Beware because I am not implying that you should be vulnerable and share details with a stranger.
Hence, if you have been talking to this guy for a while and found it hard to open up, start now gradually.
I am speaking from my own experience. I started to open up to a boy after 8 months of dating and using a bit of sarcasm made it easier for me to express my thoughts, desires, feelings, and needs.”
“I am assuming that you’re writing a bestseller for me, that’s why it is taking time to reply to me.”
“I am not good at being patient, just like Saul grew impatient while waiting for Samuel..so, still waitingggg…”
“I guess, I will sit in silence and wait for Godot or you, I don’t know anymore.”
“My therapist has been more active in my life lately.”
6. Try to communicate your feelings or thoughts through puns
Use puns to express that you’re longing for him or you are waiting for a certain answer.
Doing it will help you to initiate the text but not sound desperate or clingy.
Hence, if you have already sent two or three texts then it is better to pause and let him reflect on the situation.
“I guess you’re on some island taking vitamin Sea. Couldn’t you just eat a lemon..darn it..”
“I said that I need to check my balance and you pushed me away to prove it. I meant bank balance, not life balance *smirk emoji inserted*.”
7. Connect the dots between apologizing for your mistakes and humor
One of the best responses to make when someone doesn’t text back is to apologize and keep the conversation simple.
You can balance the situation only if you use smart, simple, and funny phrases.
If you haven’t apologized earlier before, now try to let him know that you’re acknowledging your mistakes.
- What you need to do is to explain the reason for contacting him and now let him reflect.
The main thing is to not add pressure.
“Pleaseeee forgiveee meeee not by Bryan Adams. Just Please Forgive Me.”
“I am sorry for what I have done to you. I was not being human, I guess I was being some sort of cyborg.”
“Mainly, I am Perfect, I don’t make mistakes. Ohhh,, who am I kidding.. I am terrible at it. SORRY.”
“I really do apologize when I am wrong…well, only when I am drunk.”
8. You can use a meme to break the accumulated ice
If you’re not sure why he isn’t replying then try to make a joke about your uncertainty.
To start the conversation, you might use any type of assumption that will be funny at some point.
Hence, you should be careful and avoid using these assumptions as conclusions.
If you notice that he has been pulling away lately but you don’t know why then you should consider reflecting a little bit.
If you have tried to give him space and didn’t do anything wrong then throw the ball to him.
Yet, you need to do it elegantly and funnily.
“Maybe my funny laugh had the power to send you to another continent.”
“Hope you weren’t annoyed by my Hello From The Other Side Adelesque Greeting.”
“100% you’re phone ran out of space as soon as you started talking to me.”
“My presence must have taken your breath away. I guess you’re just amused and speechless *insert a tongue-out emoji*.”
9. Play the Russian Roulette Game
If you’re being ghosted, ignored, or just he is busy and not replying to you then try to spice up things a little bit with some questions.
If you want to show him that you’re concerned and want to get his attention, you should use direct and keep it short.
You should consider triggering him while asking serious questions that aren’t boring or that will annoy him.
“If there were three celebrities and me in a room, who would you choose to save?”
“It’s you, me, and Rihanna in a boat. Who would you like to leave the boat to, to go to the coast?”
“Your boss is calling, me and Ana De Armas at the same time.. Who would you pick up first?”
You can use these questions and adjust to your situation.
You can also use an inside joke that will have a bigger impact on him because it is something that connects only you too.
10. Use reverse psychology
Give him something that he has never known or experienced. This is the best response to give to someone that doesn’t text you back.
I am implying that you should be yourself but change your daily habits or pattern.
Change is always a healthy thing to do and if you have texted once but there is no answer, try to work on yourself first.
Then what I advise you to do is to ask out-of-box questions or use out-of-box statements.
You can get his attention by asking complex, weird, or just fun questions.
- In how many places have you lived today?
- What color would describe best our relationship?
- Who is your hero today?
I know that this might look a bit cliche or silly to do. Hence, breaking the pattern will get his attention.
He will either play along and answer or continue to ignore it if he isn’t ready to interact.
In addition, a personal coach will help you to break down every little detail of your relationship and understand it deeply.
11. Knock-knock jokes are lifesavers
You might think that knock-knock jokes aren’t suitable to text when someone isn’t responding.
Yet, by using these types of jokes, you will let him know that you want to interact with him without sounding desperate or clingy.
It is like an invitation to join you in this conversation without trying to beg or manipulate him.
Who is there?
Meaning of your life…”
Who is there?
OHMYGOD you’re so gorgeous.”
Before choosing which funny thing to text him, keep these things in mind
1. Define what you want from this text!
When you grab your phone to craft a response for someone who doesn’t text back, ask yourself why you’re doing it.
You might feel lonely, or hurt, or you just want an answer to move on but still, deep down you need to define it.
Once, you’re aware of it, you will know what type of joke or sentence to use.
If he is someone who might have hurt you and never looked back then you cannot use a joke to form a new type of communication.
Doing it would only give you false hopes and hurt you even more.
2. Check how much you know about him
Before using funny phrases, short jokes or just being upfront with him, try to know how much you know about him.
One might think that being funny is easy but when you try to do it with someone you don’t know better, it will penalize you.
You might use a joke that might hurt his pride, and ego or it might just hurt his feelings.
Thus, beforehand, reflect on your bond and how you interacted with one another.
You can still use funny phrases that will make you and him comfortable.
If you want to continue talking or just want closure, the best thing to do is to not make a joke that will make you look better than him.
3. Reflect on his behavior and try to mirror it
It’s important to reflect on your interaction and how both of you reacted to it.
If you’re texting someone that you have started talking to on dating apps then he might be keeping his dating options open.
Thus, his answers might be slow or he might just start to lose interest and not respond back at all.
- Thus, to turn the ship around, you need to take a step back and reflect on the situation.
- You can text him just to let him know that you’re noticing that something is wrong.
- Then give him and yourself some time apart to know yourselves.
- This research shows that mirroring someone’s behavior helps you to develop decency and healthy relationship.
In this case, you’re not punishing him or yourself for not acting differently from him.
You’re allowing both of you to feel what you’re going through at the moment.
How should I respond to someone who doesn’t text back?
You should depend on timing and your relationship before deciding how to respond to him who didn’t text you back.
You can use funny phrases to respond to someone that doesn’t text back and you had just one date.
Yet, this phrase should be simple and neutral too. It shouldn’t be related to his personality, or his likes and dislikes.
If you do it at the beginning of the dating stages, many things will be misunderstood.
So, be authentic and use these jokes or witty sentences according to how much information you have about him.
Also, define your relationship with him because then you’ll know exactly what to include in that response.