How to text someone you haven’t talked to in a while
I know the struggle when it comes to text someone you haven’t talked to in a long time.
Things just happen and the next thing you know is that you grew apart so much that time passes – weeks, months, years even – without even noticing, and then there’s the part that you miss them, and sometimes the part that you miss them badly, and then the part that you miss them so so much that you almost take the courage to text them…
And then, you want to text them but you don’t know what, because the more time passes the more scared you get.
Let’s calm down and let’s figure out together: What and how should I text someone if I haven’t talked to them in a while/long while/time?
First things first: When you haven’t heard from someone in a while
Don’t let someone else make the decision for you
Listen and read as much as you like… But when it comes to deciding on texting them after a long time, it is entirely up to you. Do as you feel.
How do you feel about this – how does the thought of contacting them make you feel?
Just think of them, and imagine them being there, or having a conversation with them. Listen to yourself, and notice how you feel.
How do you feel like expressing yourself when you think of that person?
If you’re coming from a place of peace, nostalgia, and good vibes, then go for it! On the other hand, if you’re coming from a place of guilt, shame, negative vibes then you will most probably project those feelings to the person too. Hence, it wouldn’t be the best idea to text them yet.
Be honest with yourself: What is the actual reason you’re wanting to contact them?
Yes. Think about it, not too much, not too little. Just think about it and understand the reasons. Move your strength and energy to what your heart leads them to.
If yours are genuine reasons, like missing the person or wanting to know if they’re ok, or anything else that is genuine, then absolutely text them!
Speak with confidence, be you – they feel and know it
It’s a person that you haven’t seen/talked to in a while, however long or short that while has been it is important that you speak/text with confidence.
However your approach to the situation is, will, in one way or another, reflect on your text. That’s exactly why you want to be confident, and just be you with pure energy and genuine intentions.
How to text someone you haven’t talked to in a while – 23 examples you can use for any story you had with them
The examples of the text messages will be helpful to you:
- For whatever reason you’re trying to text them – for the sake of good times, wanting to know they’re ok, wanting to catch up with them, or any other reason. I tried to include as many variables of text messages as possible, and I’m sure you’ll find something helpful.
- For whatever reason you two grew apart – whether it was a horrible argument, the contact vanished naturally, or you had a date, planned for the next one but never had it, now it’s been months or years…
- Whatever your relation to the person is/was.
- No matter who broke the contact between you.
For flirting then you have to know his behavior before you sending him flirty texts.
Let’s do this!
1. “I feel nostalgic for the amazing times we had together, how about we catch up this Friday?”
This is more of a text on how to talk to an old friend you haven’t heard from in a while.
When you send this one, you show that you’re being honest, you’re being appreciative for the times you had together, AND you’re giving it a shot/an opportunity to reconnect with them.
2. “I know it’s been such a long time, and I miss your energy, especially today. How are you?”
If you really do want to reach out, don’t be afraid to. Don’t try to find excuses. Wanting to reach out, and missing them is a good excuse itself, so just go for it.
Be straightforward, let them know that you’re aware of the time distance since the last time you talked, let them know you miss them. And lastly, show them you care to know how they’re doing.
3. “I know we haven’t heard from each other in a long while, but I don’t want to completely lose touch with you. How about a cup of coffee this Friday evening?”
It is also good to give them a reason why you’re texting them after such a long time. Especially if you’re wanting something else other than contact from them.
In this case, you’re texting them because you don’t want to lose touch with them. You let them know of that reason, but also, you offer an option to catch up with them.
4. “Oh my! I heard Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen and every crazy memory with you just came to me in a flash. It’s been such a long time! How are you?”
It takes a split second to be reminded of someone, and that feeling sometimes knows how to sweep you off your feet (depending on who you got reminded of).
It is good to let them know what reminded you of them. It can be through a photo, or a gif, or a music video, etc. Most probably they’ll be reminded of the same memories by that piece of art (whatever it may be).
5. “Hey, 10 years went by and we got so old. Thank god for the time machines! I miss your energy, how have you been?”
This is somewhat a funny way to reach out to them. A little smile, a little laughter to remind them how funny you were, or just make their day a little better.
Let them know you miss them (if you do), and ask them how they’ve been (if you genuinely care to know).
6. “Hey Damien, it’s Lana. I am so sorry for not replying to your texts for the longest time. If you’re free, I’d love to catch up with you sometime.”
Apologize if it was your fault for breaking apart. You’re being honest, and that is to be cherished and appreciated. You do your thing, you reach out, the rest is up to them. You did a good thing!
7. “Oh gosh! Today it’s your birthday and I just realized it’s been a year since we haven’t talked. Happy happy happy birthday! I wish you’re loved, in good health, joyful, and safe wherever you are!”
If you see yourself not having time, or being too occupied with things and you just forget to text that one dear person to heart, so much that months or even years pass, you can at least text them for their birthday, or holidays.
A few good wishes from the heart, why not!
8. “Hi John, it’s Tina from [class, school, work, etc]. I see your work is going amazing, and I’m happy for you! How is everything else going? How are you?”
If you’ve heard or seen something amazing they’ve achieved recently, congratulate them on it. Show them you care, and that you’re happy for them.
This could also be useful if you were friends when working at a certain job, or at school, and so on.
9. “I heard that things aren’t very good in your city. How are you and your family doing?”
This is the type of message to send to a friend after a long time. Especially if something happened in their city/state and you’re genuinely concerned about the person you’re texting to.
10. “Tim asked me about you today, and I had no idea what you’re doing, or if you’re alive lol. It’s been such a looong time! How are you, crazy?”
This is one of the funny things to say to someone you haven’t seen in a while. Especially if you two have this way of communicating with one another: you don’t see each other often, but when you do it is like you never lost touch before.
11. “I thought of you today. I hope you’re doing amazing wherever you are right now!”
Perhaps they’re someone you haven’t texted in months, and now thought of them, you can send this.
You just let them know that you think of them now and then, and you wish them something good. You come in peace, and from a place of appreciation, and that’s just beautiful.
12. “I went by your house today, and realized how much I’ve been missing your energy. I’m sorry for being such a prick.”
This one could be perfect for those cases where you had a date once, planned for the second but then in a blink of an eye months passed by and you never asked the question you should’ve done months ago.
13. “I’m trying to think of excuses to text you, but I know that just missing you is a good enough excuse. How have you been doing all this time?”
This one is one of my favorites. I actually got inspired by an old friend that sent me a similar message a while ago. My heart melted, and almost cried for letting our communication die out.
Warm their heart, and make them feel appreciated like you’d like for them to warm their heart and make you feel appreciated.
14. “Knowing you, I know that your life must be entirely different since the last time we talked. I’d love to meet up and hear all about it!”
This answers the “How to reconnect with someone you haven’t talked to for a while?” question.
You let them know that you didn’t forget their abilities and qualities, you’re curious if they still have them, and you’re ready to hear all about it. It gives them room to think about it, and start reconnecting if they agree to meet up.
15. “You were so fun to hang out with. I miss you!”
Just let them know you miss them, straight to the point. Doesn’t matter what or how they answer. You get it out of your chest. You give them positive vibes, show them you’re grateful and honest.
16. “I loved how you were so good at wrapping gifts and making them look special and unique. I’m curious, how are you, and do you still have those amazing skills?”
This is one of my favorite types of “haven’t heard from you in a while” text messages. You’re showing them you noticed a quality, a skill of theirs, it is special and personal.
Think of what you loved most about them. What did they do best? And ask them (if you’re curious, of course) whether they know how to do it still. It’ll start a conversation, and have you two reconnecting if you’re both into the idea of reconnecting.
17. “Things went downhill for me since the last time we spoke. I hope it is not the same for you, and I truly wish and hope you’re okay.”
Be absolutely honest, and wish them the best. Similar text messages can be good material for starting a deep and honest conversation, on what went wrong, how it went wrong, and so on.
18. “I think I saw you at the [name of place] today. Was it really you, or is it just me missing you?”
This is perfect if you two had a ‘playful’ connection. You didn’t actually see them, nor think you saw them, you want to direct them to the answer that you miss them, but in a more playful way.
Remind them of the good humorous things you’d do together, or just the sense of humor that followed your conversations on whatever.
19. “It’s been a long time since the last time we spoke, I know, and I’m sorry for not responding. I’d love to catch up again and share everything with you.”
Be confident, and if you feel like it, make plans. You’re also taking accountability for not texting them back, or responding to their messages/calls. You’re telling them you’re sorry, but you also want to make it up. It is just perfect!
20. “I know it’s been a long time, but I wanted to apologize for what I did. I’m realizing things now, and I understand you and the ways I did you wrong. I hope you’re doing well in every aspect of life. Once again, I’m sorry.”
Perhaps they’re a distant relative, or a friend, or an ex and you had a horrible argument with them, that you were guilty of, and perhaps the reason why you’re not communicating any longer.
You want to acknowledge the wrong you did to them, apologize about it, and leave it up to them whether they want to respond or not.
Don’t reflect blame, guilt, shame, or negative vibes. Come in peace, from a place of love and understanding.
21. “Hi Ben, it’s Hanna. Something reminded me of you, and I recalled how special and unique you were. I hope you haven’t changed that beautiful mindset you had back then. I’m wishing you the best of luck!”
This shows how not to sound/be needy or manipulative through a simple text.
You want to be honest about whatever that you appreciate/ed about them, compliment them on that quality in the best way you can (but try too hard to the point where you overdo it – it doesn’t feel natural), and wish them what you want to wish them.
22. “It’s been two years since we last spoke. Things remind me of you sometimes and I miss you when I think of you and the time we spent together. I hope you’re still so positive and open to life as you were, if not more haha.”
If it comes naturally from a positive and thoughtful mindset, then it’ll come genuine and honest. If you think that’s the case for you, let it flow naturally, and text them what your heart tells you to.
23. *photo* “I know how much you loved photographing weird buildings. I saw this in Copenhagen and it automatically made me think of you haha.”
Get creative with pictures/photos, videos, or gifs, whatever reminds you of them, or quality of theirs. Rock it, make their day, make them laugh, remind them of things!
Tips on texting someone you haven’t heard from/haven’t talked to in a long time
If you feel like writing a good text by yourself, then I have a few tips on how to do that:
Don’t go on with the acronyms or similar things to that. E.g. “wyd”
It shows that you’re not putting much effort to it. It feels causal, and nothing really special.
Get creative with images, memes, gifs, songs, etc
You can make them laugh, remind them of something. In a few words, you can make their day.
Invite them to an interesting event
If you feel like reconnecting with them, you can invite them to an interesting event that perhaps is similar to the ones you went to together in the past.
Whether you’re a man trying to ask a woman out, or a woman trying to ask a man out, doesn’t matter. Go for it!
Don’t project sadness, pain, guilt, anger into them
If that’s what you’re going to put on the table, then most probably you will get exactly the same, or end up getting no response, and make them feel bad for the rest of the day (if they’re the type to be affected by someone else).
Holidays are a good idea too
Wish them all the best and stuff, something that’s good and thoughtful.
Be appreciative for whatever amount of time you spent with them
You’re grateful to have spent the time with them, you let them know. It gives more meaning to the reason you write them in the first place.
Comment on something they posted (not on the actual post, but comment on it through texting them)
Let’s say they posted their pet, an activity they did recently, or an achievement, you know whatever people post on their socials, text them by commenting on that post. E.g. they posted their pet, you can send them something like: “Oh he’s sooo so cute! I bet he makes you the happiest!”
Conclusion – whatever time it has been…
Take all the courage, confidence, genuinity, honesty, love, and positive vibes within you, and just do it.
I bet they’re not going to bite you, and you’re going to get out of it anyway!