We went from texting every day to nothing – What happened?

When you talk to someone for the first time, curiosity makes you want to know them more, which can lead to day-to-day texting.

As you show mutual interest in getting to know each other, texting becomes a new routine. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean you are looking forward to something specific.

However, while you continue texting back and forth, you have picked up this reduction of effort in texting from your side, and his as well.

You just realized that you went from texting every day to nothing and you’re wondering why.

Was this pull-away a mirroring of each other’s behavior or was it something else?

Don’t fret about it any longer. Here are 11 reasons why you went from texting every day to nothing:

1. You started losing interest as a duo

As you got to know each other better, you started noticing that you don’t have much in common. And more usually than not, the absence of commonality causes a loss of interest.

You might have stopped texting because you noticed something that you didn’t like in him and vice versa.

You both can lose interest simultaneously. You can go from constant texting to nothing at all and this might not come as much of a surprise.

However, unless he told you himself that he was not interested in you, you will continue to wonder why this sudden stop occurred.

If both of you didn’t put in the effort to maintain it, then the decrease in interest followed suit.

2. Your expectations from the connection didn’t align

As the conversation progressed, you could sense that both of you are looking for different things.

That can either be building a friendship, starting a relationship, or what you expect to make yourself in the next 5 years.

Misalignments such as:

• Moral differences
• Mismatch of values
• Life vision
• Fundamental beliefs
• Expectations from the connection

This can cause a gap in the relationship. And if you continue to invest emotionally, it can lead to unnecessary heartbreak.

That’s why you might be trying to put some distance between you two.

3. More effort was needed for making it work

The relationship needed a lot of work from the very beginning.

Keeping in contact required a lot of energy and it was during a time when you were balancing your relationship with other things that consumed your time.

Not only that, but it also requires a big amount of your time, sometimes the time you’d rather spend resting or doing something you love.

You’re putting much more effort than you think it deserves, and contact doesn’t come as easy as it does to some couples.

It can come down to nothing if the stress is too much to bear.

4. You have been too busy for each other

Life brings a lot of obstacles that can take all of your time and then cause a negative effect on your relationship.

Sometimes your schedules don’t match and texting becomes more and more difficult. Making you too busy to even contact each other.

This is holding you away from him and is causing you to distance yourself from him unintentionally.

Until one day you stop putting in the effort and let the busyness take over.

And then from texting every day you will suddenly stop, and then it is expected of you to explain the reasons behind your disappearance.

5. You have started getting bored

A relationship needs to be interesting and challenging for it to work.

If you get bored from the beginning, there is not much left to expect in the upcoming stages of the relationship.

Because your life is flowing in a different direction from his, you will start getting bored with the idea of continuing the connection with him.

That is why, more often than not, when this enthusiasm starts to dim, boredom takes place and settles within the connection.

As much as you might want to give him a chance, if you don’t get the butterflies in your stomach from him, you start to question his worth.

That is why you can go from chatting every day to nothing.

6. You both met someone else

It can be easy to find someone interesting. But it is harder to maintain interest, curiosity, and willingness to know more about one another.

That’s the reason why you can’t see any results from texting every day. Because he might have started a new love interest.

And that’s okay, as long as you let the other know and don’t ghost each other.

Disappearing without a word is rude and very unhealthy.

With the possibility of the two of you having new love interests, you will start to pull away slowly as this current relationship is not your priority now.

7. One or neither of you wanted to invest emotionally

As you can make out from the situation, perhaps you just don’t want to invest emotionally.

Maybe neither of you is looking for something long-term and as a result, you get nothing from the constant texting.

He might just want to keep things light and talk just to pass time.

And that’s how you go from texting every day to nothing. No more texting, no chatting, and no relationship.

As he, and maybe you as well, are not looking for something serious.

If you could sense that this is getting in the way of your everyday life, both of you (or one of you) chose to stop.

8. Things were moving too fast: He wanted to take things slow

When you are going through the talking stage, he might need some space to think about his feelings on his own.

What you might think is a slow and steady pace, could just be an overwhelmingly fast-paced relationship for him.

After the everyday talk, he might want to take a break and take things slow.

The break might act as an excuse for him to figure out his feelings and whether this is something he wants to pursue or not.

Some hints that might be telling you that you need to slow down a bit are:

• Alone time is something he often suggests doing
• He’s holding off sexual advances
• He stopped texting for a while

9. Both of you got tired of the chase

The game of chase can get boring and tiring very fast. As none wants to waste their time chasing what seems unreachable.

This pursuit has dragged on much longer than you expected. As a result, the everyday texting ended in nothing.

As you get tired of the chase, you both will transform from active texters to passive. And will only reactivate, when one becomes lenient with the other. 

Now that you have decided to give up the chase (it can be either of you), it’s nonsensical to keep this going. 

10. You didn’t want to seem clingy but you acted too distant from one another

You might have thought that texting constantly might make a bad impression.  Which might paint you as a bit desperate.

The constant constant leading of conversation might make a person feel as if they’re acting a bit pushy and carrying the conversation entirely.

Holding yourself back because of the fear of seeming clingy, can easily make you look uninterested and distant.

If both of you have been doing this, you’ve been pushing one another to a point where the consistent contact faded to nothing even though you’d so much like to talk to one another.

11. You waited for the other to text first

Perhaps, you are waiting for the other to make a move first.

As you have been the one to always initiate contact, you’re passing the mic to him. Or he’s the one passing the mic to you if he’s been the one texting first.

So now you have entered the waiting game and it seems that neither of you is willing to give it up.

He’s waiting for you, you’re waiting for him, and neither of you wants to make the first move.

This is a very common scene in the dating world and it lasts as long as the partners are certain that they’re not the ones to be texting first.

This is often what causes wonderful everyday texting to turn into a silence that none of you want but neither of you is willing to break. Not just yet.

What to do when texting goes from every day to nothing?

The step after stopping texting each other plays a key role in how you want to address the problem.

As you are confused about what you want to do, to fight for it or call it quits, making a decision can seem challenging.

This can help you decide where you stand emotionally and help you decide whether you want to put in the work.

Here’s what you can do when texting goes from an everyday consistency to nothing:

• Come to terms with the idea that things are not working out and don’t put much pressure on yourself because of it.
  
  You can’t take responsibility for his actions as they are not out of your control.

• Take a step back and reflect on the situation.
  
  Think of your actions and his response towards them, your approach and behavior with one another.

• Contact him first, if the sudden stop happens mutually.
  
  You can say “Hey there. I’ve been very busy, and I’d like to apologize for seeming distant or uninterested. I’d love to catch up over coffee. Are you free this Friday?”

• Make sure you’re on the same pace, as it can overwhelm him if things seem out of control.
  
  Take a look at his response to your text if you reach out to him. See how he reacts to it. Are you on the same page?
  
• Don’t hold the whole responsibility as to why things didn’t work out.
  
  A connection takes both of your efforts to make it work. It’s not your fault.
  
• Talk to a trusted therapist, friend, or family.

A third perspective on this can clear your view, and perhaps point out things you weren’t seeing due to your emotional attachment to him.

Is this relationship worth saving?

There is no right or wrong answer. Every relationship is special on its own and it is distinct case by case.

You are the only one that can know what you want to do. None is aware of your relationship better than you are.

Thus, I can’t be the one to tell you to call it quits, or fight for it tooth and nail.

However, there are some questions you can consider when going through this decision.

Do your values match?

Alignment of values is an important thing to consider if you want your relationship to work.

Knowing what makes your values and how you represent them is one of the key roles in making a relationship work.

Are you willing to put in the work for this relationship?

Putting in the effort takes as much from you as you give to the other person, and you need to decide if you can commit to it.

It must be known from the beginning that both of you will do your best to make things work. You shouldn’t leave room for doubt, you are putting all of your eggs in one basket.

Do you feel as if he’s taking you for granted?

Since feeling appreciated by the other party makes you feel wanted and needed, it goes to show how much we need to feel useful to know that our input is appreciated.

Being taken for granted is a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.

Do you enjoy spending time together?

If his absence brings you relief and peace, then you might unconsciously not want to be in this relationship.

On the other hand, if his presence brings you joy, then it shouldn’t be something to give up.

Is he attempting to change you?

Being accepted as you are, with all of your flaws, should be taken seriously from both sides.

You shouldn’t force your views on certain actions in order to change the other person.

You might be stubborn, and get angry when you’re sad, but still, it doesn’t give the right to anyone to attempt to change that for their benefit.

Do you still have good chemistry?

Your conversations tend to flow effortlessly and you fit each other’s personality like a glove.

You share the same sense of humor and taste in music and films. You feel comfortable in his presence and aren’t afraid of being judged.

If that resonates with you two as a duo, then it seems like you’ve got good chemistry. Perhaps you want to give this relationship a try!

Figuring out reasons why sometimes people lose connectivity is hard. You can only assume the reasons behind their actions.

However, it is a personal decision to decide how you want to address it and make an attempt to save that connection from dying out.

Don’t be discouraged, trust your gut feeling, and take matters into your own hands.

You’ve got this!

Love,

Callisto