You’re faced with a difficult situation which tends to be very common in contemporary romance stories:
He’s pulling away and you seem to have a hard time comprehending this, let alone making a clear decision on what your next move is going to be.
What do you even say to someone who’s pulling away?! What do you text him?
Considering the difficulty of this situation, such thoughts and questions are fairly normal. So let’s have a moment to take a deep breath first.
It’s understandable, this is a behavior that leaves you confused and even undecided on what you can and can’t do about it when he pulls away.
With a grain of salt, with calmness, and a pragmatic approach, there are healthy ways and options to solve this puzzle.
First, let’s see what you can text him when he pulls away!
Here’s what to text him when he pulls away: 15 text examples to send him when he pulls away
These messages are clear and confident in your message. Now, depending on the reasoning behind his pull away, you’ll be getting different answers.
Also, consider the stage of the connection before you choose the right message to send him.
- “You seem to be unsure about our connection, which is understandable. However, I’m looking for more stability, that’s why I suggest we both take some space. Perhaps we’ll be available for each other again until then.”
- “I know it could be unintentional, but I feel disrespected by your behavior towards me recently. I believe some space would do us good. We can talk about it if you agree.”
- “I sense you’re undecided about our connection. I understand if you need time to sort it out, but I can’t promise I’ll be around when you come back. Again, I do understand you, and we can talk about it if you need to.”
- “You’ve been seeming to be in this sort of unease lately. If you need any help, I’ll be here for you. All you have to do is let me know about it.”
- “I understand if you need space. I’ve been noticing you acting a little off lately. Do you feel like talking about it?”
- “I’d like you to help me out understand what’s going on. I’m genuinely concerned about your behavior towards me lately. Want to talk?”
- “You seem to be a bit off lately. Let me know how I can help. I’m here for you.”
- “I’ve been thinking that some space would do us good. There’s just something about your behavior recently, and I think we should talk about it.”
- “I’ve been feeling a bit off because of your behavior recently. I’d like to talk about it. We could have a break if you’re not willing to talk about it, see where things go from there on.”
- “I’ve been wanting to talk to you. Do you have time?”
- “I see you’re a bit undecided about our connection. I’d like for us to have some space to figure things out. Let me know if you need to talk about it.”
- “I’m sensing distance from you. Do you want to talk about it?”
- “There’s this instability in our connection. I’d like to talk about it.”
- “I’m just checking in… I’ve noticed your behavior being unusual lately. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
- “I’d appreciate it if you’d openly communicate with me. That’s why I need you to help me out here. Is it just me, or are you really pulling away?”
– Have a calm approach instead of an attacking
Text can distort your way of converting the message that’s why you want to be super careful with the use of words, and punctuation.
Text him about what you’ve noticed about his behavior and what is concerning you.
Pay attention to the way he responds, the reasoning he gives you about his behavior, and what he offers as a solution to the issue.
Having a calm approach to this will give him space to respond from a place of truthness instead of fear, anxiety, and defense.
This means he’s more likely to respond honestly if you calmly address his behavior.
On the other hand, if you, in a way, attack him for what he’s doing, he’ll be responding from a place of defense, and he’s more likely to not cooperate in this situation.
– Don’t insist: let him know you’re ok with space
The situation you’re in can make you feel responsible for his actions towards you, you might even start blaming yourself that he’s pulling away.
That can lead you to also feel like you’ve got to do something about this.
When he pulls away, and after you’ve made your attempt to talk about it, you want to do nothing.
If space is what he wants, then he shall have it.
The moment you accept this and let him know about it is the moment he’ll start questioning his decision.
Though that’s not what we want, right?
We want a healthy solution to this. If he asks for space, then don’t insist, simply give him that space.
In some cases it does magic and he comes running right back, in some other cases, it allows both people to reach an understanding and common ground about the relationship and themselves.
– Text him the questions that are bothering you
Reason your concerns by pointing out the specific parts of his behavior that are bothering you.
This is crucial, especially if you’re looking to find answers, even though this is a text conversation only.
It’s a healthy way of initiating a conversation and giving him a better clue about your thoughts and feelings on his behavior.
At the very least, you’ll be setting the ground for when you meet up in person next time.
In this case, you’re initiating communication, and you’re pointing out something that’s not ok in the relationship/connection.
If he chooses to deny what has been obvious, then you got an answer as well.
You know that what he’s doing is toxic, and you need to reconsider your connection and relationship with him.
– Give him the space to respond
Avoid texting sprees. Make your statement, and give him room to respond to your text.
When he’s pulling away, he’s already giving hints of a need for space.
On the other hand, he could also be giving hints that he’ll come back after pulling away.
When you text him to address how the fact that he’s pulling away is making you feel, you have to make sure you give him space to respond to it.
Especially knowing that his behavior is indicating a need for space in the first place.
Don’t text him again if he doesn’t respond at all. His silence is enough of a response for you to move on.
Let it be like that. If he replies, then you’re off to a good start of a conversation to clear things up.
You made your move, you did the right thing.
The ball is in his court now, and you’re the one to sit and wait for a response. Give him space to do so.
– Suggest talking about it in person
Texting can sometimes be misleading, especially when discussing important things in a relationship.
Talking about the issue in person tends to be a lot more effective than simply texting about it.
Texting about why he’s pulling away, and how it’s making you feel doesn’t allow either of you to hear the tone of voice, or to see each other’s facial expressions.
This can make it difficult for both of you to receive the true message you’re trying to convey to each other.
You can suggest a talk in person, or a phone call if the former isn’t possible.
This is needed especially if this is a long-term relationship. Such conversations can lead the relationship to end especially if they’re not clear.
That’s why an in-person conversation would be the best solution at this point.
– Keep your self-respect in mind, and stand strong by your stance
Compromising is very necessary when it comes to solving relationship problems as a couple.
However, we all have boundaries and our ways of maintaining them.
It’s important that you have your boundaries, and remind yourself AND your partner of your self-respect once your boundaries are crossed by your partner.
You’re addressing this situation with respect towards him, you’re letting him know that you’re not judging his behavior, that’s why you’re willing to talk about it.
If he denies what you’re sensing, if he’s rude, if he’s disrespectful, and if he responds aggressively to your concerns, that’s when you’ve got to remind him and yourself of your self-respect.
Examples of how you can do it:
“You’ve crossed a boundary that I’m not willing to compromise for. I wish you the best!”
“This answer isn’t helping much. I need space, and I’ll be reaching back to you after some time. Please respect that space until I reach back to you. Goodnight”
|Note: A negative and disrespectful response to a calm and peaceful attempt to address a situation usually indicates immaturity, low self-esteem, or unsolved inner issues he’s dealing with.|
– Politely let him know you won’t be sitting around waiting for him
This is a trait of a high-value woman. You’ve made your statement, you’ve expressed your concern, but you’re not begging.
You’re willing to solve the issue, you’re willing to talk about this with him, you’ve offered him space, you’re not begging and stagnating your life for him.
He’s the one pulling away, you’re the one offering the options.
Considering that this is a text, you have to make sure you’re clear and confident in your message.
The “win him back” mindset is not healthy at all, especially not in such situations.
He’s pulling away for a reason(s), and the last thing you want to do is trick him into believing that his reason isn’t valid.
That’d be extremely manipulative and unhealthy.
Be clear with your intentions and opinions on the situation. If you’re gonna be around waiting for him, then let him know so.
Conclusion: So, what do we really text him when he pulls away?
Despite the difficulty of this situation, try to keep your cool, and maintain clear and confident contact with him.
Don’t forget to carefully select the words you’re saying to him because a lot of things can go unnoticed and be misunderstood through text.
Keep in mind that you must keep it real if you want a positive ending to this.
Also, an in-person conversation about it can be a lot more effective than a text conversation.
The only way to do this is with honesty, and no mind games or tricks!
You’ve got this, for sure!