Aren’t people just so confusing? One minute they’re double-texting you, and the other it’s as if they’re nothing more than a figment of your imagination.
When guys suddenly stop texting, they do have their reasons—justifiable or not, they’re what cause their inconsistency in communication.
And for you a lot raising your fists, swearing you’ve had it, and contemplating hitting that block button…please hear me out!
– What the timeframe of a guy’s replies say about him.
When it comes to replies, everybody seems to think of it as a black-and-white situation—you either respond promptly or not at all.
But the world isn’t in black and white, there are also in-betweens.
- Prompt replies (immediate responses or minutary).
If a man replies to your texts promptly or after a few minutes, then he’s most likely serious about you.
But that doesn’t mean occasional delays are bad; certain busy people prefer not to multitask, especially while at work or school.
Still not too bad, seeing how he might be busy and genuinely trying his best to respond despite everything.
On the other hand, it is a red flag if he’s free, online, but still not replying to your text messages—he could be talking to other girls, friends, or just scrolling through social media.
- A few texts a day.
It’s increasingly getting more toxic because if he has a habit of sending you a few texts a day with no valid justification, anyone would start overthinking.
However, you can forgive him if he has a busy schedule!
I am sorry to break it to you, but there’s no justifying a man claiming to be interested in you who takes literal DAYS to reach out.
Of course, he may be busy, but I really doubt it if he doesn’t do anything (or if he offers no explanation).
But this isn’t math class, so let’s leave numbers to the side and talk about the most common reasons why guys stop texting only to start again.
1. He’s busy and can barely catch a breather.
We’re starting with the viable excuses first, but don’t worry! It’s going to get progressively more toxic.
When a group of men (usually the non-players) starts texting after a short hiatus, then it usually means they are busy.
Life has them on the go 24/7 and they can barely take a break!
Over-exhaustion usually causes people to push others away, so punishing them over something they can’t help will only add to their plate.
It is always better to be open-minded in relationships and attempt to communicate before exiling a partner with little to no explanation.
- To know if he’s lying about being busy, just think to yourself if he tries to prove his innocence. If he does give convincing proof he was in fact busy, then he is probably telling the truth.
2. He is not in a great place.
Social withdrawal is one of the telling signs of depression, say the experts over at WebMD.
But this doesn’t apply to depression only as other conditions such as stress and anxiety could drive people affected to pull away from their friends.
If this is a recurring pattern with the guy you’re talking to and he even opened up, then the reason he’s going back and forth with texting is his mental health.
He feels the need to take frequent breaks from the people in his life to care for himself and feels overwhelmed if he doesn’t.
- The best way to deal with this situation is to respect his space and not shame him for wanting it—instead, be supportive and empathetic.
3. He wants you to chase him, so he’s ghosting you.
People seem to think that not replying to someone’s texts makes them want you more…and although it is true at times, it often ends up backfiring.
Regardless of his motives, if he’s someone who enjoys being chased, he will pull something like this to put himself in a position of power.
This means stuff like:
- Lowering your confidence;
- Flirting with other women;
- And, finally, taking forever to respond back.
So if he habitually goes away and comes back to you without further elaboration while talking to other girls, this is why.
4. He thinks he’s coming on too strong.
Okay, let’s get this straight: a guy who wants to take things slow is not the same as a guy who wants to keep playing games.
It’s possible that because he doesn’t want to scare you away with his straightforwardness, he decided to periodically cool down.
And by cooling down I’m talking about taking a break from bombarding you with messages—he just doesn’t want you to get bored of him.
The premise is the same, but the reason is completely different and way more wholesome!
5. He’s not used to being consistent.
Bad texters aren’t a myth…they do exist in the sense that some people genuinely aren’t used to being consistent.
However, this usually happens to people with not a lot of relationship experience who can’t fathom the importance of communication in relationships.
Some guys even believe that reaching out to someone every day isn’t needed, or that texting someone you just saw IRL is redundant.
Not saying that you should tolerate this, of course, but don’t forget that these types of guys aren’t purposely trying to hurt you.
6. He gets the feeling you’re not that into him.
Getting the feeling your crush isn’t interested in you is enough to make anyone go cold and slowly retreat their troops.
- If he went from being a cheerful, flirty guy to this nonchalant, distant ice wall, then this could be the case.
You can always try fixing this if you believe you might’ve been too harsh by talking with him and asking him if everything’s okay.
Also, it doesn’t hurt to show your appreciation for him either!
7. Or maybe he’s not sure whether he sees you that way.
Sounds like your guy could be going through a “limbo” of sorts, not 100% sure whether he sees you that way or not.
If he has decided he doesn’t, then he won’t make as much effort to uphold communication through texting.
But since he did come back, it might also be that he’s not sure yet and wants to give establishing a connection with you another try.
8. He is hiding a girlfriend or wife from you.
Please, don’t panic! It’s only a possibility that a married man is flirting with you.
When men go days without talking to you, meaning they have a schedule, they’re usually hiding a whole significant other.
Does he refuse to give you his social media and introduce you to anyone else as well? If he is cheating, he should be doing all this.
- The reason why cheaters come up with a system is because they can’t talk to their affair partners whenever they please as they still, at the end of the day, need to maintain their own relationships.
9. You did the same thing to him.
They say revenge is a dish best served cold, and this time he could be quite literally avenging his pride by giving you the cold shoulder.
So, here’s the deal: he thinks you’ve been skimping out with your replies, so he decided to go AFK for a few days to teach you a lesson.
He is punishing you so that you understand the severity of your actions and hopefully stop doing them.
10. You have upset him somehow.
If you two had a major argument, stopped texting, took a break, and started texting again, then the reason he stopped in the first place is that he was upset.
But doing this doesn’t equal punishment (although he could be punishing you by not texting back)—some people aren’t too good at expressing themselves, so they end up shutting down as a result.
He took some time to sort out his feelings instead of taking his anger out on you and he’s now ready to keep rolling!
11. This is his way of testing you.
Are you patient, or are you not? Are you going to cut ties with him ever so silently or lash out at him?
This is what he was trying to figure out; many people judge potential partners based on their patience and consideration.
In retrospect, he has no right to be testing you while doing something this worrying…however you reacted, I don’t blame you if your boundaries were overstepped.
12. He missed you more than he thought he would.
He was double-guessing your relationship and decided to take a break from it—something he regretted, seeing how he came crawling back to you.
He may have been on the brink of giving up on you too and that made him decide he needed to ghost you instead of doing the mature thing: talk things out.
– What to do if a guy stops messaging you and comes back as if nothing happened?
Even more important than knowing the reason is knowing what to do next, because if you’re reading this, then his actions must have hurt you.
- Discuss his behavior with him and ask for an explanation, politely.
You deserve to know what’s going on, and you have the right to politely ask him what made him want to take a break.
- Wait for him to explain on his own.
If you’re not the confrontational type, you can wait for him to start explaining on his own as opposed to calling him out.
- Play his game.
If you don’t want to be the bigger person, then this is for you! You can play his game by mirroring his actions so that he understands how he’s presenting himself.
- Pack your bags and leave.
You don’t want to do this without talking to him first about his reasons for habitually leaving and coming back.
But if you’ve voiced your displeasure with it but see no signs of things changing, it’s time to prioritize your happiness!
On whether he’s busy or just not interested…
Generally, if a guy tries to explain his absence and apologize for it, he may have been busy; if not, he could have lost interest.
Life gets busy sometimes and leaves us no wiggle room for socializing, so getting punished for that will further make us lose spirit.
I really do recommend you and your man talk about it before jumping to conclusions or making decisions you’ll end up regretting later.
Love,
Callisto.
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