It’s really worrying not hearing the whole day from someone we like—let alone only hearing once a week.
Communication is undoubtedly one of the most important tools in forming a healthy dynamic in a relationship.
Yet, some people don’t feel the need to maintain that contact and go as far as to only reach out to people once a week.
Why is that and what should be done about it? I’m going to answer those two exact questions!
Let’s take a look at 9 reasons why guys reach out only once a week and not one single time more!
1. He is breadcrumbing you.
To breadcrumb someone means to lead someone on although you’re not too interested in them.
As clinical psychologist Dr. Gemma Harris says, it’s giving enough “crumbs” of attention and affection to keep someone’s hopes up and get them hooked.
He breadcrumbs because of:
- Low self-esteem;
- An insecure attachment style;
- Emotional unavailability.
He wants a sense of power and control by watching someone come back to him and ask for attention: this makes him feel wanted.
By texting you at least once a week he’s hoping to keep you for himself with little to no effort, not allowing you to forget about him.
He’s trying to string you along with no intention of your relationship progressing any further.
2. He doesn’t spend too much time on his phone and texting.
Contrary to popular belief, not everybody uses their phone excessively!
Your guy probably doesn’t enjoy texting much and only uses his phone when he absolutely needs to.
This is especially the case if you two hang out often in person, which leads him to believe there’s no need to text you every day.
He most likely:
- Tends to leave his phone at home whenever he goes somewhere;
- Shuts his phone off;
- Doesn’t check his phone too often;
- Isn’t a fan of texting;
- Isn’t too nuts about his phone.
Some people don’t use their phones with the intention to lounge around, instead, they use them in a productive way (e.g. for work, for studying, to confirm something, etc).
Just because a guy doesn’t text too often, doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s doing it out of ill intent!
This could just be the case.
3. He has a really busy and packed schedule!
We can’t forget the possibility of him being, in fact, too busy!
Take a moment to yourself and think about his work and school life:
- Does he have a demanding job or/and major;
- Is he always on the go;
- Does he spend most of his time at work/school;
- Does he often feel stressed;
- Do his employers depend on him way too much?
If you answered “yes” to all—or majority—of these, then the answer is pretty clear.
His packed schedule is discouraging him from talking to the people in his life on days when he is busy and/or overwhelmed.
He texts you whenever he isn’t too busy or feeling too overwhelmed, and all the other days are off-limits.
Sometimes, when people are finally able to take a breather, they usually spend their rare free time sleeping, relaxing, or with the people they love.
Personally, whenever I’m able to relax, I snatch the opportunity and use it to sleep the whole day away.
Not a good use of my precious free time, but hey! Everybody has their preferences.
4. He doesn’t want to commit.
One other reason why he scarcely contacts you is because he isn’t committed to you.
“Why is he texting me at all then?”
Because some people want attention and/or have little to no consideration as to how their actions affect other people.
He’s texting once a week or so because he’s yet unsure whether he wants to lose you or not, so instead he plays it safe by keeping you in life.
He’s reaching out mindlessly to form a gateway he’s able to use to squirm his way back into your life, regardless of his unwillingness to commit.
In situations like these, guys usually tend to talk to multiple women because they like female attention and being sought after.
This is something to be taken into consideration!
5. This is his way of gaining control of the relationship.
He could be intentionally pulling away because he wants you to chase him: to make himself seem more desirable, basically.
By reducing his time with you, he’s hoping to make you desire him and his presence. This puts him in a position of “power.”
Whenever two people start talking to each other, neither of them wants to seem needy, clingy, or desperate.
However, there are times when an imbalance of sorts starts to occur, and withdrawal is a common “solution” for this problem.
In general, this behavior is pretty effective as it makes the other person worry, overthink, miss, and crave.
He knows that one text a week—which is not enough—will make your mind race in all different directions, but always regarding one thing: him.
6. He’s getting too comfortable to the point he’s no longer making an effort.
He has gotten way too comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to give an effort any longer.
He is comfortable enough to think that you wouldn’t leave him despite his lack of communication, and it shows.
This happens more often than one might think though!
Just like when two people have been together for a longer time, or when two people spend a big portion of their time together in person.
He could also be the type to not text people, however, he tried for the sake of winning you over and is now reverting to his normal state.
And although this doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t like you, if it bothers you, it’s more than understandable.
7. He has started pulling away.
Before we proceed, I want you to take these things into consideration:
- Has his texting pattern always been this inconsistent?
- When did he start messaging you this scarcely?
- Has he been acting a bit differently lately?
- Do you feel some sort of growing emotional/physical distance between you two?
There is a big chance that he has started pulling away and manifesting it through his absence.
And there is an even bigger chance if he just recently started exhibiting this type of behavior.
He’s texting you once a week because he’s slowly distancing himself from you, and—for whatever reason—whenever you two have the opportunity to conversate, he still acts distant.
There’s nothing more hurtful than witnessing someone you like to distance themselves from you, however, the signs are painfully obvious.
And lack of communication is one of those signs. Speaking from experience, he’s likely to be pulling away from you…
8. He already has a girlfriend or a wife.
If he texts you at a specific time and a specific day, there’s a high possibility that he already has someone and isn’t able to text you any other days.
He texts once a week because he’s already trying to juggle between his life and partner, leaving him little or no time to contact you.
Maybe he messages whenever his partner isn’t there to monitor him and catch him in the act.
- He is a bit too secretive about his life;
- He texts you at specific and odd times;
- He leaves suddenly and with no explanation;
- He rarely calls;
- And he almost never wants to meet up.
If his behavior is similar to this, then we could have a cheater on our hands.
There is someone in his life, maybe they’re exclusive, but he doesn’t want to lose you either.
We shouldn’t be too quick to assume, though. Calling someone a cheater is a pretty big deal and might hurt them if it’s not true.
9. He isn’t too interested or serious about you.
One of the possible reasons he doesn’t text you more than once a week is that he’s not interested and/or serious.
People can’t stay a long time without talking to the person they like, and texting once a week is a bit concerning.
He sees his weekly text as something to get out of the way, and instead of doing the decent thing—being straightforward—he’s waiting for the connection to die.
One other reason is that he’s not serious enough.
He doesn’t feel like keeping in contact every day because he’s not a serious guy. He’s playing games and probably keeping you as an option.
This pushes him to not pay much attention to the frequency of his texts.
Even so, this is a normal part of life. Romance is a series of trial and error.
There’s not much we can do about it, however, always remember:
Your worth isn’t determined by other people.
What to do —or not do— when a guy texts you only once a week!
We can only assume his reasons, but when it comes to acting up about it, it’s entirely up to us!
So, what should you do and not do if he only texts you once a week?
– Don’t text him excessively just to get his attention.
One of the things to avoid in a situation like this is bombarding him with texts, of course.
That’s because this might potentially annoy him or make him feel overwhelmed.
Generally, over-texting someone makes people look clingy, needy, and/or desperate, and that’s why the majority try to avoid doing it.
Show him that two can play this game!
– Give yourself a break from the negative thoughts.
Whether he just started acting this way or if he has been for a while, it’s normal for you to start overthinking.
However, don’t. Don’t beat yourself up over this.
Whatever his reason for not texting you more often might be, it does not take away from your worth.
Don’t be so quick to put the blame on yourself as it will make you feel a constant state of discomfort.
– Communicate your boundaries to him.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to let the other person know that you feel uncomfortable with something they do.
If you’re in a relationship, or at the very least more than friends, it’s only natural that you want consistent contact and effort from him.
Communication allows a relationship to grow larger and closer; it nourishes it.
You can always try letting your guy know that talking once a week with him crosses your boundaries and it makes you uncomfortable.
– Keep yourself busy if you can’t get him out of your mind.
The classic “distract yourself from him.” It works!
Sitting around and waiting for his one text of the week isn’t good for you: go out, have fun, and distract yourself from him!
In this way, you won’t care much for whatever he’s thinking or doing, and if he has a valid reason, doing something fun will help take your mind off of him for a while.
– Come to a conclusion about whether you’re okay with his behavior or not.
As I mentioned earlier, people require communication to develop relationships, and one day out of the week isn’t really considered communication.
Think about what you and he are looking for; is it each other?
He might have a genuine, sincere reason for not being able to text you more than once a week, but despite that, it doesn’t mean that you need to bury your feelings of discomfort.
You have every right to feel upset by his absence; consider whether you want to continue pursuing your relationship or not.
– Don’t hold onto him if it’s too painful.
Sometimes, things just don’t work out between two people, and there’s no need for you to wreck your peace over another person.
Let him go if you’ve decided that you will never truly be okay with him texting you one day out of the week.
What about the other 6 days?
Regardless of his reason—which may or may not be decent—your feelings are valid and understandable; they will be present every day.
Letting go, at times, is better for the long run.
Communication truly is key…
Communication is an important part of human life and our connections.
It’s how every relationship is created and maintained; through a series of communication and efforts.
Meanwhile, we can’t force others to talk to us, we can get in touch with our inner selves and communicate regarding what we think and feel.
And if something—or someone—doesn’t resonate with your inner self but instead disturbs your peace, give them the boot!