Having a first date is exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.
So, that’s why texting before the first date is important and should be done naturally.
Remember that flirtatious texts should be engaging and not pretentious.
As you’re reading this article to find a solution and craft your skills, check if you are finding yourself in the next sentence.
On one hand, you want to keep it casual and not seem clingy on the other hand you want to show your interest.
If you want your date to go properly and have fun then you should start to build the chemistry earlier on.
The balance should be made through flirtatious text that will make him more interested in you and keep him entertained.
Now you want to know how to achieve it.
It’s quite simple to do it if you follow these tips and these unique text messages:
1. Let him get a glimpse of who you are
While you flirt to some extent before the first date then you trigger him.
It’s like a boost that helps you to know him better and to understand how he will react during the first date.
It’s true that through texting someone can act differently from what he is in person.
Hence, the energy that comes from him over text can let you know a lot about him.
At some point, you will know what to expect.
- You can let him know about any specific trait that you don’t want to come out weird during your date.
“Be ready. You’ll bet that I will order a pizza and a sandwich at the same time.”
“I think that you will be amazed by the speed I finish a bowl of pasta.”
2. Be mysterious and flirty simultaneously
Flirting over text doesn’t mean that you need to be an open book before the first date.
It’s important to be vulnerable but oversharing might penalize you later on the first date.
You dont need to be sharing too much because then you will be left with nothing to talk about when you meet.
Let him be attracted to you, open the way for him.
You can give him hints that you like him but still keep some things to yourself.
- You can inform him about your hobbies and your likes and dislikes. Still, you can spare some info to tell him when you need it.
To be more clear, you need to surprise him because otherwise, the conversation will be boring.
“Omg, I love camping but if you wanna see my survival skills then let’s try it in person.”
3. Try to avoid sexting
Flirting is good before the first date but what would make it awkward is sexting.
Especially, if you don’t know one another in real life.
That will give him the wrong impression because he might think that you’re just looking to hook up.
Indeed, you can be flirty just by teasing him with words and making him crave you more without sexualizing it.
You want to communicate with him as much as you can but not make it look awkward or put too much pressure on him.
Hence, nowadays using dating apps flirting can turn easily into sexting.
It depends on you what type of dating you’re doing.
Yet, if you use sexting too much before the first date will make him not take you seriously.
You can text something like:
“It looks like that smile of yours can brighten everybody’s day.”
“With that body of yours, I would run up to ten mountains.”
4. Compliment him and appreciate his effort
If you don’t know what to text before the first date, try complimenting him.
It helps you both to flirt and build some type of emotional connection.
Let’s be real, everybody loves compliments especially when they’re honest.
- So, instead of complimenting him on his physical features and sexualizing him, try to do it the other way.
- You can compliment him on what he says because you haven’t met him yet in person to compliment him on his personality.
For example, try to compliment how you appreciate his perspective about something in particular.
“I really like the way you think about the current condition in our state.”
The way you choose to compliment him depends on how the conversation is developing and on your topic.
5. Send something funny
Trust me, funny is the new sexy.
Indeed, if you are funny and flirty then you will give him a brief description of who you are.
This will attract him more than just being overly sexy or constantly using sexting.
Try to send him some type of meme or some brief jokes that both of you will understand.
If you want to get a grip on this situation, then you should create an inside joke.
This will increase the chances to have more things to talk about on the first date and get closer.
- Avoid sending memes about first dates or dating in general. Try more flirty ones.
6. Make him curious about you
Creating scarcity and suspense will be the perfect way to flirt over texting before the first date.
Make him guess about you. Yes, in the meantime you can tell him things about yourself but you can leave some space for him to wonder.
The psychology behind oversharing lies in past trauma.
If you have had a hard childhood or toxic relationships then you tend to overshare.
I can understand that’s not easy to overcome it in a second, but you should start somewhere.
If you want to let him know that you like the color red or dressing in a sophisticated way, you can do this:
“Let’s take a guess of what would I be wearing the next time we meet?”
“Do you know what I will do as soon as we get together?”
To know exactly how to overcome oversharing try to contact a relationship specialist or any therapist.
You will go digging deep to find the root of this issue.
7. Reminisce on something that you’ve talked about earlier
What can help your flirting game before the first date is to connect more emotionally.
That’s the key to keeping things balanced before meeting in person.
Let’s say that you have talked about eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream weeks before then use it as an example.
“Do you remember how we talked about the new flavor of Ben and Jerry’s weeks ago? I just tried it and it’s amazing.”
“Guess what? I just tried that pineapple pizza place that you recommended to me. That place is 10 out of 10.”
8. Don’t build up fake expectations
Texts to send before the first date should be based on how you feel about him at that moment.
Ask yourself whether he is making you feel this way or the version of him that you created in your head.
It’s hard to distinguish, particularly if you haven’t met him before because you don’t know how he acts in person.
It is very easy to create a fake version of him or romanticize him while texting because that’s the power of texting.
It allows access to him but not full access.
A clinical psychologist, Selena C. Snow claims that having false expectations is really damaging.
You are expecting one thing and then when you meet might give you a different vibe.
That’s why flirting before the first date should be done within some borders and be real.
9. You can tease him just to get a glimpse of his humor
Teasing a person might let you know a lot about that person.
You’ll get to know how he reacts and how he will be able to manage the situation or how he will take a compliment.
Let’s say that you say to him “I bet you look better in person” or “Imma bet 100 bucks that I will look sexier than you. Wanna compete?
Just try to be subtle with your words and challenge him to some extent.
This will keep high the adrenaline until you meet on the first date.
10. Keep your texting balanced
I know that is hard to know how long to be flirtatious until you have the first date but try to keep it balanced.
You can set some type of plan to just check up on him and behave the same as you did until now.
- Don’t try to text daily or disappear for that period. Being too clingy or using radio silence before the first date it’s never a good idea.
- If you constantly flirt and use sweet and funny jokes every day, you will lovebomb him and nobody wants it.
It’s okay to be cool, sweet, compassionate, and sexy ver text before the first date but try to not do it excessively.
11. Keep looking forward to the date
One of the texts that you should send before the first date should be the one to keep the communication going.
This text shouldn’t make you look like you’re desperate and your world revolves around him.
Just show appreciation and let him know that you’re looking forward to this date.
- This text message should be sent just a few days before the date.
- Let him breathe and give him space to reflect on what he will expect from you in the future.
This flirty text before the first date might be a voice note if you feel more comfortable doing it.
It will be more sensual and you will make him crave more of what’s next.
12. Mirror his behavior
If you want to use flirty texting before the first date then try to mirror his behavior.
This will help you to balance your style of texting.
If you don’t know this person then it’s better to build a prior connection.
You can tease him and be flirtatious just to know what he thinks.
Yet, do it as much as he does.
Indeed, a guy might not be good at flirting but if he doesn’t try it at all and ignores your texts then he is not interested that much.
If you flirt over text constantly and he rarely does it, you are putting him on a pedestal.
This has a lot of impact on how he will behave on the first date.
If he notices that you’re more interested in him than he is, he will think that he has the power to play with your emotions.
This depends on his personality but to be more successful in this game, you should know how to do it properly.
Try reading an extra article on
Should you flirt over text before the first date?
Yes, you should flirt before the first date because this will touch some sides of him that you might never know.
I fully understand that some other sources will state that this is something wrong to do.
The only wrong thing about flirting over text before the first date is to be done excessively.
If you constantly flirt and don’t try to get him to know more then that will be a deal breaker.
Flirty texting before the first day will help you calm your nerves, beat the tension, and attract him to you.
To be subtly flirtatious over text means that you won’t ask boring questions and make it look weird.
It means excitement and lots of laughter, and positive feelings!
Does exchanging texts before you meet prevent you from being taken seriously?
If flirting is done excessively and your questions or comments are pretentious then yes you might not be taken seriously.
What will make him not take you seriously is if you allow him to think that your world revolves around him.
~You might give him that impression or opportunity by texting him too much and putting more effort than him.
~On the contrary, if you are flirtatious and funny to a certain degree you will make him more curious about you.
The key to flirty texting before the first date is to know how to balance flirting with serious topics.
~You can have a conversation about anything but in the meantime during the conversation, you can flirt.
That won’t even cause harm to you and won’t impact negatively the first date.
To be taken seriously, you need to be flirty but also have your standard.
Once you are confident and know what you want from him and work on your charisma, you will succeed.
To achieve your goal you need to take some pieces of advice from the book Myth of Charisma!
To wrap it up: What to text before the first date?
Before the first date, you should text something funny, heartfelt, and engaging.
It should be something ordinary but outstanding so you can show your personality.
I am aware that you might think but how can I do it properly if I don’t know him in real life?
Well, get to ask questions and be more curious about him.
With that little information that you have to try to do your best.
Pay attention to the little details that he gives and try to read between the lines.
More specifically, be flirtatious and show your interest but also try to set your boundaries too.
You can do it.
I trust you,