Being ignored by an ex is quite an intense and complicated situation.
If you’re still thinking about your ex is a sign of not being able to move on yet.
If you’re concerned about why your ex still ignores you then you’re doing out from the place of weakness.
There is a variable of reasons that an ex chooses to ignore you. It could be out of guilt, pain, revenge, or to get you back.
It all depends on the way you broke up and what your ex feels towards you.
It’s quite easy to mix up being ignored by your ex and your ex using the No Contact Rule.
Is it hard to tell? It’s not if you focus on some elements.
I’ve got you covered!
Being ignored by your ex vs No Contact
There is a very thin line between these two.
Sometimes, you can find these terms used almost interchangeably.
If your ex uses No Contact then they create some space for themselves and for you to react and to heal.
You must say that’s ignoring too, right? I must refer to it more as shifting the focus from their ex to themselves.
The main energy is focused on improving yourself and transmitting that new energy.
Ignoring you means that your ex wants either to escape reality, camouflage their feelings, or cut you out of their life with no explanation.
Here lies the difference. If an ex ignores you, they are doing it mostly for an unhealthy or unspoken reason. Yet, this isn’t always the case.
14 reasons why your ex is ignoring you!
1. You’ve been too pushy or clingy
If you were dumped, the first stage that you’ll be part of is feeling rejected.
You’ll continue to beg and plead with your ex with the hope that this will convince them to stay or come back.
Your ex will ignore you because they don’t want to be with you.
What your ex wants right now is to be free. They just want to be out of the relationship already.
The more you focus on getting your ex back the more they’ll pull away.
2. Your ex can’t deal with their emotions
A relationship won’t work because of an emotionally unavailable partner.
Instead of choosing to sort out their feelings and work on them, your ex chooses to ignore you.
This means that after the breakup, your ex chose not to go through the process of grief.
Your ex never was able to resolve feelings of guilt, shame, or even rejection.
If they never dealt with their emotions then the easiest way to “win” the breakup is to ignore you.
3. Your ex didn’t have true feelings for you
One of the main reasons why your ex is still ignoring you is that they never loved you.
It’s a pretty hurtful and difficult reason to deal with because you feel rejected and left out.
You wonder if your relationship ever meant something to your ex.
Once your ex has gotten what they want from you they’ll vanish.
Your ex chooses ‘To ignore you’ so they can quit this game without harming themselves.
Thus, they will never provide you with any type of apology/explanation or closure.
4. Your ex isn’t interested in you anymore
Even if you broke up on good terms or even worse, this is a definite answer to why an ex ignores you for 3 months.
Once they realize they don’t want you back, they’ll choose to ignore you.
As your ex is trying to heal and look forward, they start slowly to drift away.
Their feelings towards you change and that’s what pushes them to ignore you.
This means that they’re not ignoring their feelings and just trying to forget you.
It means that your ex’s feelings have changed.
Now they want to focus on themselves and probably on a new relationship.
5. It hurts them to stay in contact with you
Another reason why an ex keeps ignoring you is they don’t want to be hurt again.
This time they want to be protective of what they are feeling.
Your ex is still processing their feelings and is going through a rollercoaster of emotions.
The moment they contact you, they would relive all the pain that they went through after the breakup.
From the fear that they’ll be stuck in the past and limbo, they ignore you.
6. Your ex has already moved on
If your ex chooses to ignore you just because they’ve moved on, they want to put you in the past.
This is their way to maneuver into the future and let the past in the past.
Your ex’s life has turned in a new direction and they can’t find a reason to be in touch.
This type of ignoring you means that your ex wants to convey to you a message.
They want to move on to a better future. It’s easier for them to organize their new life.
7. Your ex doesn’t want to fall in love with you again
If your ex still has feelings for you after the breakup, they choose to ignore you.
Your ex is afraid that they can’t trust their feelings and that they would betray them.
For some, after the breakup, this would seem like the perfect solution to move on.
Choosing to ignore you, they want to reaffirm their decision.
They want to make sure that they have already moved on.
8. You’re not compatible with one another
It’s in human nature to ignore something that makes you feel bad, you’re afraid of, or you want to have it.
In this case, if your ex is ignoring you, that can’t be defined as a manipulative method.
Your ex has concluded that you’re not compatible with one another. The only way that they can’t be with you is to ignore you.
In your ex’s eyes, this is the technique that will function to permanently part ways.
They are detaching themselves from something that isn’t under their control anymore.
9. They can’t give you closure
An ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend ignores you when they can’t give closure.
If your ex doesn’t know what they want then they can’t give you a definite answer about the breakup.
This means that your ex is caught up between their feelings and thoughts.
They’re either confused, avoid the truth, or even are poor communicators.
If an ex can’t express their feelings then they choose to ignore them and you at the same time.
10. They’re not ready to commit
One of the most common reasons why an ex chooses to ignore you is the inability to commit.
They try to run from the responsibility that a relationship brings.
If they aren’t dating you exclusively then they try to ignore you.
A person who can’t commit, can’t date exclusively. They keep their dating options open.
If your ex has attachment difficulty then:
- They’re afraid of being loved;
- They’re afraid that their partner’s feelings will change with time;
- They assume that out there can be someone better;
In this situation, when your ex ignores you they put their defenses on.
11. Your ex wants to get you back
Sometimes, if an ex wants you back or wants to boost their ego, they try to ignore you.
They use this as reverse psychology to make you miss, want them back, and pursue them.
They might be pondering their decision and instead of apologizing they ignore you.
It isn’t a healthy way to attract an ex. Yet, some people mix it with the No Contact Rule.
When you use the NC rule, you don’t ignore them and focus on just getting them back.
You step back, yes, you cut communication, but you focus on your healing first.
12. They cheated on you
Why is my ex ignoring and avoiding me? Well, in this case, the reason is different.
Your ex might not want to take responsibility for their actions.
By taking responsibility I’m implying understanding the problem and trying to solve it.
Sometimes people think they’re taking responsibility if they just admit their wrongdoings.
On the other hand, your ex might be dealing with their mistake in silence.
Their guilt might eat them alive but they feel ashamed to admit it.
It all depends on the type of relationship you had and their stance towards you.
13. Your ex likes the attention
This must be one of the most troublesome and annoying reasons why your ex is ignoring you.
It’s annoying and troublesome because your ex will be playing with your feelings and thoughts.
In this case, your ex might play hot and cold. They act like a light switch.
They ignore you because they just like the attention. One day they might be flirty but the other day they might act cold turkey.
The boredom, melancholy, and loneliness push your ex to crave your attention.
Your ex will try to recognize the loss of you but can’t do it.
They will keep going to the same source just to feel the pleasure and boost their ego.
If you answer these types of breadcrumbing then they’ll keep pushing and pulling you from themselves.
14. Your ex set some boundaries
This reason is classified as purposely ignoring.
Your ex ignores you intending to detach themselves completely from you.
At this point, it’s the bottom line for them. They seek change.
A partner who puts much effort into a relationship and things don’t improve, after the breakup they distance themselves.
It all starts when they decide to pull away from you.
Freud cited that the most important decisions in life come from inner needs.
The need to avoid the pressure and relieve the pain leads your ex to exclude you from their life.
What should I do if my ex is ignoring me?
The first thing that you should do when your ex is ignoring you, is to focus on yourself.
I know that is quite harsh to deal with being ignored but try to shift the mindset.
How can I survive in this situation?
Here are some tips to get through it:
- The first thing to do is find the source of why you’re feeling this way.
Does it bother you because you still have feelings about them or because of your self-confidence?
- Write down what it feels like to be out of that relationship. Write the pros and cons.
- Give your ex some space and time to deal with their feelings too. Don’t be too pushy or clingy.
If you try to contact your ex more than two times within a short period then that’s going to backfire on you.
You’re going to look very needy and desperate.
- If your ex ignored your apology text then wait one week or more to write another simple text.
In this situation don’t try to justify yourself or point out your ex’s flaws.
You wonder but why did my ex ignore my apology text?
They could do it either because they feel like the relationship is over or they’re still processing the breakup.
- You can control what you feel only.
Instead of focusing on manipulating your ex’s feelings or thoughts, focus on yours.
You can do it by going through the process of grieving. You acknowledge your feelings and release them.
- Don’t jump immediately into blocking your ex. Instead, you can mute them or unfollow them just to focus on your healing.
- You should balance your needs with your desires. Avoid ignoring them back just to punish or get them back.
- Accept the fact that the relationship has ended.
If you accept this fact earlier, the faster you can cope with the hardship of the breakup.
- If you want to know how to get your ex’s attention you should define your situation.
If you hurt your partner, to get their attention back you should work on your flaws.
After that, you might apologize to your ex.
If you initiated the breakup, then go back to the reason why you initiated it.
If there is something that you can improve then do it. Start with small steps.
Improve yourself and try to help your ex-partner.
If your partner has decided to move on or can’t improve themselves then it’s harder to get their attention.
Why is my ex ignoring me when we didn’t end up on bad terms?
In this case, your ex is going to ignore you because they don’t want to instill false hopes and hurt one another.
~They don’t want to interact with you because they don’t want to be reminded of you.
~They don’t want to send mixed signals and send you the wrong message.
~Your ex finds it harder to move on when they’re around you.
~There might be unsaid things from your ex’s side.
They chose to part on good terms and then exclude you from their life.
~Your ex might have moved on and already is part of a new relationship.
~Your ex might have sensed that you still feel for them.
In this case, they want to ignore you because they don’t feel the same anymore.
Your ex doesn’t want to deal anymore with the past or their old feelings.
Even if you break on good terms, that is considered a breakup.
Some will be left hurt, some things will be left unsaid, and others will hope for things to improve.
FAQ: Why is my ex avoiding me?
1. Why can’t my ex look at me?
Your ex can’t look at you because they either feel hurt or they feel guilty about what happened.
Despite that, if you run into them and they ignore you it can be that they still feel something.
On the other hand, they might have a terrible experience and don’t want to go through it.
Either way, it all depends on how you broke up. In both cases, they’re struggling with their own emotions.
2. Is it normal for an ex to ignore you?
After the breakup, it is quite normal for an ex to ignore you.
Yes, they can do it for different reasons but that means that they need to have their own space.
When the relationship is over, your ex needs to focus on fixing the past and look for the future.
It doesn’t make the difference if they’re the dumper or the dumpee.
When your ex ignores you…
When your ex ignores you they act distant and mysterious to fulfill their intention.
Your ex is either trying to move on, trying to give you a lesson, or trying to win you back.
Ignoring isn’t always for bad intentions but most of the time creates confusion.
Thus, you shouldn’t restrain yourself to get their attention or turn things around.
Don’t take it personally. Be bold to face reality and work on your flaws.
Warm hugs,
Callisto
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