When a guy goes quiet when he likes you that means that he’s either still processing his feelings or trying to manipulate you.
Sometimes, even the manipulation isn’t something he chooses willingly.
He might be dealing with low self-esteem or he might be dealing with internal issues such as depression or anxiety.
Either way, he is trying to get your attention. To define your situation, this article provides you with 12 reasons that a guy goes quiet when he likes you:
1. He might feel nervous
A guy who feels overwhelmed might go quiet even if he likes you because he doesn’t know how to process these feelings.
Especially, if he’s experiencing these feelings for the first time in a while.
Also, if you put too much pressure and always initiate conversation or dates, he might feel “powerless” towards you.
A case study made by Ludeman & Erlandson (2004), shows that an alpha man craves pressure because this leads him to leadership.
But even if he isn’t an alpha man, as a human being, he might want his space to flirt with you and maybe ask you on a date.
🔺Side note: If you notice that you’re the only one progressing faster, you should take a step back and give him time to do his part!
2. He is dealing with contradictory feelings
It might be a difficult time for him to sort his feelings out so unwillingly he chooses to go quiet even if he likes you.
He might be confused about what he is feeling and doesn’t know how to put his feelings into words.
In this case, he might not want to lead you on or create a relationship based on fantasies.
He pulls away because of his past trauma, he might not be ready to commit or just doesn’t want to screw it up.
🔺Side Note: Right now he’s on a battlefield and might go hot and cold with you.
But, if his feelings are genuine then try to help him to sort out these feelings by talking to him and creating a safe environment to open up.
3. He might be afraid of rejection
Now, John Gray claims that a man chooses silence to reject being hurt.
He is reserved because he’s afraid that you don’t feel the same as he does and he might be humiliated and crushed by rejection.
Especially, if you have been knowing one another for a long period but no one has made the first move yet.
He might overthink and overanalyze everything, starting from the first and last conversation you had and how you reacted to his presence.
🔺Side note: I understand that when feelings are mutual but there is no progress, a lot of confusion arises.
But, if you feel that you have strong feelings for him, try to flirt subtly and let him know that you care about him.
When you decide to have a full conversation with him, make sure to work with a personal coach that will help you to pin down your feelings.
4. Maybe isn’t an appropriate moment for him to date
When a guy isn’t healed yet from the breakup, he might get lost in the thrill of the new relationship and suddenly go through some changes.
Usually, when a man is looking for a grip to differentiate him from the heartbreak, he enjoys a new adventure.
This adventure can be a new relationship- a rebound!
He acts interested one minute and distant the next because now he’s conscious of whatever he’s feeling and how he’s acting.
At this stage of the breakup, he realizes that he likes you but he’s not fully detached from his past.
🔺Side note: If you already are aware that he just got out of the relationship, don’t put pressure on him.
Give him space to detach himself fully from the relationship and let him know that you’re there for him.
5. He might have overheard you talking something about him
A guy might act distant when he likes you because you might have hurt him indirectly or even directly.
Let’s give an example.
You might have been talking to your friend and mentioning attributes that you like about a guy.
You might have mentioned some attributes that he doesn’t have and the next day he might withdraw.
He’ll do it because he thinks that he might be unlovable and not your type.
🔺Side note: Not all men would react the same way. But, if he has low self-confidence and past trauma, he might choose the silent treatment.
If you think that he might have been eavesdropping, try to give him a hint that you feel the same as he does. Ask him to spend more time together.
6. He is burnt out because you didn’t follow his game plan
Indeed, this. When you’re not invested in his game to chase him, he will go all quiet and somehow manipulate your feelings/thoughts.
It happened to me during my college days. Later on, I learned that he felt like he was part of the unrequited love.
He just wanted to feel love and he had made this game of chasing him just to fill the gap of love that he felt all his life.
🔺Side note: No one is to blame in this situation.
But, if his actions become too narcissistic then it’s better to step out of this situation and cut contact if possible.
7. Maybe he’s trying to find the courage to ask you out
If the guy you like will become quiet the moment that he might be looking for the best way possible to ask you out.
In particular, a shy guy finds it hard to express his feelings because it’s a bit harder for him to put those feelings into words.
So, you might notice that constantly he might go around the bush and give you indirect hints.
But, if you don’t participate and don’t let him know how you feel, he will go quiet even if he likes you.
🔺Side note: If you don’t feel the same then it’s better to not feed his dreams and desires.
Be honest with him and have a conversation!
8. He might be afraid of intimacy
If you’ve been having a great time and got close to one another but suddenly he became quiet then he might be afraid of intimacy.
This might not always be the case.
But, if he was open to you about his feelings but whenever you got close, you noticed he struggled to participate, this might be the reason.
Especially, when he’s fearful-avoidant, he will withdraw himself from the “relationship” every time that he gets close to you.
🔺Side note: Yet, try to know him better, his personality, and his attachment style.
Don’t assume immediately that he goes quiet just because he’s a fearful-avoidant. He might be a player that is keeping you on the curb.
9. He doesn’t want to scare you off
I am not implying that this is the best way to handle the situation but he might not want to communicate this type of feeling.
He might feel that he’s pressuring you a lot when he reveals his feelings to you.
Also, it might look like he might say the wrong things and you might end up not liking him.
🔺Side note: If you want to proceed further with this relationship, try to communicate your feelings too and what you expect from it.
Try to spend more time with him and get to know each other to find a mutual language.
10. He might be waiting for you to make a move
Not all guys make the first move.
Thus, he might go quiet if he saw that you might have not shared the same interest or even if you did, you did not express your feelings.
He might be afraid that he is misreading the signs and doesn’t want to be rejected or humiliated.
🔺Side note: Remember that you don’t have to participate if you don’t feel the same. Set your boundaries and always seek your level of comfort.
11. He might be testing you
Hmmm, when he goes quiet and still likes you means that you might have just been TESTED!
He might be trying to check if you have feelings for him or if you like him too.
He tries to gauge your interest and see if you’ll chase after him when he starts to pull away a bit.
🔺Side note: Testing your interest in him isn’t a healthy way to communicate with a person you like.
Still, be careful, don’t let yourself be a part of manipulative situations.
12. You two were way “too compatible” for one another
He might like you and keep his distance because he might start to dwell on the reason why he liked you at first.
Guys in general might start a relationship without having any type of strong feelings.
So, both of you might have thought that you two were compatible but was that true compatibility?
Just because both of you had the same music taste or liked the same food that doesn’t mean that is a real alignment of true feelings.
🔺Side note: He might have started to lose interest and now he doesn’t know how to get out of the situation and becomes mute.
Try not to beg for answers if he doesn’t seem to communicate with you. Choose your peace by focusing to love yourself more and set boundaries.
Do guys get quiet when they like you?
Yes, a guy goes quiet when he likes you, but not always but this depends on his personality and ability to deal with emotions and feelings.
But, mostly, when a guy goes quiet even when he likes you, he is building up walls to protect himself from rejection or from facing reality.
What we know until now is that a guy might like you but his intentions might be different from another guy that likes you.
1. So, a guy might be a player and to keep you as a backup plan, he might just go quiet for some time and enjoy dating other people.
2. Or, he might not know exactly how to approach you and feels overwhelmed and doesn’t want to blow it all.
The feeling is the same: He likes you.
And what helps you to make a difference is to get to know him a little bit more.
Otherwise, it might be just an assumption and it might lead you to wrong conclusions.
What to do if a man goes quiet when he likes me?
If a man goes quiet when he likes you, you need to be understanding, and approachable, and at the same time set your boundaries.
1. The first thing that you should do is not take it personally.
I am aware that this moment might be overwhelming and you want to interact more with a guy you like.
Yet, his decision isn’t always completely related to you. Just remember to stay calm and try to communicate with him more.
2. Give him time to get in touch with himself and reflect on his own.
Remember, that whatever is meant for you won’t ever pass you by.
If he likes you and is interested in having a serious relationship with you then he would never give you the silent treatment.
He would search for ways to work on himself or even just be upfront with you.
3. Be understanding and supportive but don’t tend to lose yourself in this process.
Sometimes when you try hard to understand him, you lose the opportunity to get in touch with yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up you need to learn the reason why he got quiet even though he likes you.
Just be compassionate and don’t try to impact him negatively while you try to figure it out.
Hence, staying loyal to your boundaries will help you a lot to figure out your intentions.
4. Lastly, don’t take his silence for rejection. Getting quiet doesn’t always mean that he’s rejecting you.
But, even if he can’t be at this moment with you, take it as a sign of redirection.
As a final point: Why do guys act distant when they like you?
A guy acts distant when he likes you because something is going on with him.
It might be that he needs some space to clear his head, has some internal issues, or is not the right time for him to have a relationship.
There are other billion reasons that explain his silence but it all depends on your relationship and his attachment style.
But, listen. Never blame yourself for not getting an answer for his withdrawal.
If you give him space and try to talk about this issue but he won’t cooperate for a long time, then woman, you should focus on yourself.
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