It is believed that when a man is rude to a woman he likes her.
Well, a guy might express his affection for you with rudeness because that might be his love language.
But, a guy might be rude to you and act like he “likes” you just to control your feelings and thoughts and use you.
So, here are 15 reasons to figure out why guys act rude when they like you:
1. He has paradoxical intentions
In general, guys like to use reverse psychology while flirting or courting just to hook you.
So if you’re not paying too much attention to him or you don’t see him as a potential candidate, he’ll gauge your interest differently.
In this situation, he’ll try to kind of compliment you but with adding a rude tone to it.
“I am surprised a woman like you likes to eat Mac n’ cheese and look so fit.”
By using phrases like this, he’ll try to engrave his name in your mind. He wants to make you wonder what he meant by these words and think of him.
2. He doesn’t want to look thirsty or needy
A guy acts rude when he likes you because he wants to be hard to catch.
Even though he might make the first move and approach you, he’ll immediately step back and give you some type of cold shoulder.
He just wants you to get the hint but still leaves you space to chase him.
While getting to know a guy and dealing with mixed signals will frustrate you and even leave you hurt.
Hence, an expert’s opinion will help you to define his true feelings for you by breaking down his first and last interaction with you!
I was a victim of disinterest. When the feelings aren’t genuine from the beginning then they will easily fade away.
Here is my story. I was dating for a year with him and suddenly it felt like he was another person.
He started to make me uncomfortable about who I was (the person that he supposedly fell in love with).
I didn’t know what to do, I tried to isolate myself and tried to make myself “better” so he could like me like before.
Wrong! What I needed to do was to confront him about these changes and look if there was something that we could work on together.
4. He’s afraid he won’t seem too masculine
Toxic masculinity isn’t all about a man refusing to do a skincare routine or wearing light colors.
Also, refusing to show genuine feelings in public seems wrong to him.
According to this study, toxic masculinity is considered a man who is tough and not vulnerable. Someone who doesn’t develop his feminine side.
He doesn’t want to seem soft in front of his friends or even he can’t accept to himself that he’s feeling these feelings.
At some point, sentimentality seems wrong to him.
What I advise you to do in this situation is to prioritize your values and set boundaries.
5. He wants something he can’t have
When he isn’t used to denial and has low self-esteem, he will be rude to you even if he likes you.
According to the School of Life, with rejection comes the feeling of humility and rage.
By being rude and making you feel indifferent, he’s using it as a shield to protect himself from rejection and hurt.
Maybe he doesn’t want to attach himself to you because he considers you out of the league and is afraid to face the consequences.
6. He is interested in another woman
The most common reason that a guy is rude when they like you is that he met someone new.
Maybe his feelings for you weren’t solid from the beginning and now it was easy for him to develop feelings for someone else.
- You might notice that he will slowly text or call you less. He won’t share any of the details with you.
In this case, if you’re not dating exclusively you can’t ask him to justify himself.
You can only tell him how you feel and let him know about your dating rules.
7. He’s emotionally abusing you
A narcissistic guy might like you but he will be negging you just to put you down and take control of you.
This is his tactic to get you attached to himself very quickly without considering your emotions.
And as the dating coach Mathew Hussey explained, a narcissist wants more to impress you than to be impressed by you.
Thus, he might belittle or not consider your needs. Shortly, he puts himself before you.
But, all these situations will make you confused, stuck, and emotionally abused.
8. He can use it as a defense mechanism
If this guy is dealing with past trauma and is not healed yet, then he will be rude to you even if he likes you.
This is a form of coping mechanism that he uses to “detach” himself from past pain or trauma.
The author and physician Gabor Mate claim that trauma is a wound imprinted in your mind.
So, when you touch that wound it feels like you’re experiencing that stress and pain all over again.
He might be developing feelings for you but if you do something that triggers his past trauma then he’ll just suddenly become rude.
9. He didn’t have genuine intentions from the beginning
Men play games. He might get close to you even though he doesn’t like you that much, just to reach his aim as a man.
It was all part of a game and now that he has achieved his goal and got your attention, he just backs off.
His energy shifts from being all kind and making everything to have you, to merely treating you fairly.
In this case, you need to remain calm and not blame yourself, even though it seems hard.
10. He wants to keep you wondering
He doesn’t want to feel like an easy catch.
Sometimes a guy who has a big ego might think that he’s out of your league and wants to keep you interested in him.
And what does he do? He plays hot and cold. One day he shatters you with love and attention and then he uses harsh language.
It’s hard to tell if he does that because he wants to keep you interested especially if you don’t know him too well.
11. He thinks this makes him more attractive
Unfortunately, there is the type of guys who think that not acting softly to a woman makes them more attractive.
It is a stereotype that up to this day guys use to make them feel more masculine and desired.
Especially, if he sees himself as an alpha man. He might think that he is dominant by acting rudely.
Thus, you shouldn’t tolerate any type of behavior that makes you feel bad or harms you.
Get out of this situation. Surround yourself with people who want and respect you.
12. He is uncertain of his feelings and doesn’t want to lead you on
When a guy doesn’t know what he wants and doesn’t want to drag you into that pit, he might be rude to you.
Yet, the words that he says are more play words that are used to not attach you to him and vice versa.
He won’t use words to bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself.
He might say something like “Don’t think about us that far maybe we won’t make it.”
And he might say “Well, why you’re so sensitive about it?”
13. He likes you only for your body
Yes. Guys act rudely when they like you because they want you only for your body.
I know that this is a hard pillow to swallow but still, it’s better to know earlier what he feels about you.
- You might notice that he becomes rude when you ask to spend some quality time with him.
- He calls you to come over only when he’s horny and usually at midnight.
In this case, if you’re not interested in a one-night stand or having a fling, you don’t have to cross your boundaries just to have his attention and love.
14. He might be a PUA
A PUA is a person who seduces his sexual partner, when he’s rude and like you, he is seeking a way to seduce you.
He uses hateful language to seduce you.
He thinks that by bringing you down and putting your guard down, he might find the way to your heart.
In this case, a guy might make backhanded compliments or some type of criticism that include sexual innuendos.
“You cannot reach my co*k because I am 6 ft. Come on now.”
15. He knows how to flirt only by being rude
Sarcasm might be his love language.
This doesn’t mean that he might be a bad person but cannot flirt by using simple compliments or by using his body language.
But you have to look closely at what he says and in which context he’s using it.
Facing constantly this type of behavior might be quite confusing and exhausting.
Thus, if he’s trying to connect with you in this way, try to make him reflect a bit on his behavior by teaching him other languages of love.
How do you respond to his rude behavior?
If he is constantly rude and this makes you feel uncomfortable then just be upfront.
Try to confront him and let him know what your boundaries are.
There’s no need to be rude and use harsh language too. Just have the talk with him and try to make him reflect on his behavior.
1. Let him know what you think. Raise your voice.
You can address this issue by saying “Joe, I think that this comment is rude and I don’t like this behavior. Please, don’t repeat it again.”
How he reacts to these types of comments depends on his personality and emotional maturity.
He might either reflect on his behavior and change or continue to gaslight himself and you.
2. Stay calm and don’t lose your temper.
It’s important to create a healthy communication style when interacting with a guy.
And you can do it only by staying true to yourself.
Because if you face rage with rage then this will lead you to a bigger conflict.
You can stay away from him until you can communicate properly.
3. Try to talk about this with other people.
Taking the opinion of others can help you to reflect differently.
Yet, don’t go and ask for the opinion of mutual or his friends because their opinion might be biased.
Try to seek a therapist’s help, if talking about your interaction and your feelings helps.
4. Know when is the finish line.
When you cannot handle the situation anymore is better to walk away.
This might not seem like a big red flag when you start dating or just hanging out.
But when your relationship becomes serious then you’ll encounter many issues such as arguments, fights, and even abuse.
Everything might turn into a toxic relationship.
To bring this to a close!
A guy will act rude when he likes you because he wants either to shelter himself from getting rejected/hurt or it’s just the way he flirts.
Either way is important to make the difference between a guy teasing you and being slightly rude to the guy that puts you down.
No matter what, you should let him cross your boundaries and drag you down.
Work on your self-confidence by practicing self-love and writing down the characteristics of an ideal partner.
Lots of love,