Are you curious about who your boyfriend is texting? Be honest and direct with him if you want to find out.
While there are various methods and apps available to spy on his messages, it’s essential to recognize that this approach can be toxic.
Using such apps or any other method should only be considered in specific situations.
One significant circumstance is when you suspect infidelity.
If you’ve already tried talking to him but haven’t gotten any answers, and you’re now at the point of considering ending the relationship, tracking his phone can help you gather evidence to support your concerns.
Instead of denying your intrusive thoughts and letting them consume you, let me show you a simple way to find out who he’s texting:
1. First ask yourself why you’re doubting him
Is it because you are scared of being hurt?
Or maybe you have had bad experiences in the past, so now you are wary of new relationships.
Next, consider what evidence there is to support your doubts about him.
This can include anything from his choice of words during text conversations, to how he acts around other girls when you’re not around.
If you’ve already asked him about it and he has given you a reasonable explanation, then mark that doubt as cleared.
I can surely understand that sometimes intrusive thoughts can win easily.
Hence, before wanting to know who your boyfriend or husband is texting, reflect on what you’re feeling.
In particular, having an anxious attachment style, you tend to be more paranoid.
To get a grip on this situation, you should try this quiz:
2. Then ask subtly what he is laughing at
Being in a healthy relationship means that you can communicate freely with one another.
He doesn’t feel the need to hide things from you and you do not feel like being nosy too much.
To enhance the relationship you need to have those uncomfortable conversations.
The most important thing is to not ask it as you’re making accusations.
You can ask casually when something doesn’t fit.
When he gets a late-night text, tries to hide his phone from you while laughing, or is constantly on his phone, then ask.
- Omg, you must have read something quite funny. What is it?
- Avoid asking “Who is it?”, it will immediately indicate that these words are coming from your insecurity.
- Ask less generic questions and more ordinary ones like “Hey, what’s up, watcha doing?”
The most important thing, make it seem casual!
3. Make him comfortable to be around you
To know who is he texting, the most organic way to do it is to let him tell you.
Now, that might seem impossible to you and you might doubt it.
Hence, yes, this is achievable once you’ve gone through ups and downs in the relationship.
This study finds out that vulnerability in the relationship is enhanced when you and your partner accept each other’s flaws.
So, to know who your boyfriend or husband has been texting, you need to be open with him first.
Know that privacy is important in a relationship but know that you can share your thoughts and feelings too.
~Make the first step, do not report anytime that someone texts you but make it a habit to inform him a little.
Whenever you’re laughing every time you got a text during a short period say something like:
“These past hours Sarah is sending me silly memes in our group chat and they’re hilarious.”
You can also show him that message if that’s appropriate and doesn’t encroach on the other person.
4. Talk about your past traumas
Now, you’re asking yourself but what’s trauma got to do with finding out who is he texting?
Actually, there is a connection between these two elements.
Firstly, previous relationship trauma can leave long-lasting scars in your or his life.
Try to talk about your previous trauma with one another.
When you feel that a text or a call is making him or her uncomfortable, you will let them know.
Yet, this isn’t something that can be achieved immediately or very easily. Indeed, it is a bumpy road.
To set a goal and have a daily progression and not worry about who is he texting, you will need extra help.
A relationship coach will listen to your issues and dilemmas so they can create a specific plan to overcome them.
5. Try to show him a joke
One of the best ways to know who is he texting is to have a subtle approach to him.
Create a special bond because it will be easier for you to know who he has been texting.
In this case, you will somehow create a positive aura whenever you get a funny text.
Believe me, a partner will mirror your actions whether for good or bad.
When the relationship is toxic and he is cheating on you, he won’t even answer.
He will try to delete his texts or simply will reply with “That’s nothing.”
Indeed, this doesn’t happen in all relationships and it depends on his ability to reflect on his behavior too.
Try and say to him:
- “Omg, have you seen this? I was lmao while reading it”
- “I thought that you were laughing at this meme that I sent you this morning. Have you already seen it?”
You need to make a way for him to tell by himself who he is calling or texting.
6. Check if he has turned off his notifications
Not everyone turns off phone notifications for the same reason.
A man will turn off those notifications just so he can clear his head and maybe he doesn’t want anyone to disrupt him.
Yet, if he constantly turns off notifications from all the apps and hides his phone then he is probably cheating.
This will tell you to know a lot that he is texting someone with who he might have an emotional or physical affair.
He might have a secret lover or someone who he has been sexting and doesn’t want these types of notifications to pop up.
Despite this, you will notice that he will slowly withdraw from you, whether emotionally or physically.
7. Use other apps to find this particular number
If you already have the number that you think he is constantly texting or calling, you can easily find out who she is.
To do it, you can use apps such as Instagram, Snapchat, Cash App, or Whatsapp.
In each of them, you will be able to see their name and who this number belongs to.
For example, if you want to check it out on Instagram, follow these steps:
- Open the Instagram app then go to the main menu on the right;
- Now, from the list that appears here, go and click Discover People;
- Furthermore, the phone will ask you if you want to connect Instagram with your contact list;
- You will have to click Access and then the phone will list out the people from your contact list that are on Insta.
8. Just type “.” at his Imessages
If you are already using his phone for whatever reason, you can find who is he texting by just writing a dot on the search part.
Go to his messages, then write a dot at the part where you search for a keyword to find a particular message.
After that, all the messages will appear.
Even if there are threads that he has deleted, will appear right there.
Yet, avoid doing this if you are just being suspicious and you didn’t talk to him first.
Always remember, that you state the problem first and then look out for other methods.
9. Hire a detective
If you need to see who he is texting or calling and gather evidence it’s better to get help from a private detective.
This is a safe way to deal with your doubt because you are doing it in a legal way.
At least, when you hire a detective you won’t be worried about this part.
A personal investigator has his or her own specific methods to deal with this type of situation.
A detective will be able to get closer to him and interact in different situations.
Here are a few pages that you might check to find a proper personal investigator:
10. Track his calls with iKeyMonitor
This app is perfect if you want to monitor his calls and prove your point to end the relationship.
This is suitable to use either on your phone or on your computer.
The best part of this is that you can connect all other apps from this.
This means that you can monitor his call log, location, and other apps that he is using.
Now, this is used by anyone who needs to know with who is the other person communicating.
If you are being cheated on for the first time or constantly, it will help you gain evidence and get out of that relationship.
Is it healthy to track your partner’s phone?
Tracking your boyfriend or husband’s phone to find out who he’s texting is not a healthy approach. It’s disrespectful and also illegal.
Simply put, you’re invading his privacy, regardless of the reason behind your actions.
However, if you feel there is a valid reason for your concerns, it’s important to seek help.
First and foremost, consider consulting with a relationship coach who can assist you in reflecting on your doubts.
They can help you understand why you have a strong desire to check his messages or calls.
Sometimes, this desire stems from insecurities, past traumas, or your attachment style, and it’s crucial to address these underlying issues.
If you decide to go through his phone without a specific reason, it will negatively impact your relationship.
It’s an unproductive behavior and if you’re caught, you will lose your partner’s trust.
Even if he is actually cheating, he will likely deny it and make you feel bad about yourself.
In such a situation, your self-esteem will decrease, and your pride will be hurt.
Find out who is your boyfriend texting or calling while using these four apps!
If you start to think that your partner might be cheating on you then you might use a few apps to find it out.
Make sure that you are right about doubting him.
Otherwise, it will be quite weird and it will hurt your relationship if he has been texting his family, friends, or colleagues.
Here are four main apps to find out who is he texting or calling:
This app has had the best reviews and people have been able to find out what they want while using it.
The owner of the people, in this case, won’t know that you have been having access to his phone.
You can use it either on your tablet, computer, or on your phone.
Make sure to use it for proper purposes and not misuse it.
Is the perfect page to show whether your boyfriend or husband is using his name or fake profile to talk to someone else.
Here you might search for his name or any detail from him and there will get any info about him.
If you didn’t know whether he is texting with other women on dating apps, you will find it out.
You might have thought that he isn’t using dating apps but he might be using them with another name.
There will be no more lies, once you get this app!
You can get this app online for free. Then after you download it, there is a QR generated.
Now, you need another phone to open this code.
You open Whatsapp and then press Whatsapp Web and scan the QR code to connect.
All the conversations on his phone will open on your phone.
This is the cheapest app that you can use to find out who is he texting or calling.
While using this app you will be provided with detailed information regarding his relationship status and everything else.
If he is talking to someone else, you will be able to read the signs from the information that you get on this page.
What do you do when you find out who he is texting someone else?
If you discover your partner is cheating by reading his texts, it’s important to resist the urge to immediately start a fight.
I understand this is difficult to accept, but it’s easier to have a constructive argument when you remain calm.
Take time to understand your own emotions and what you want to communicate.
Then, you can calmly approach your partner and ask for explanations.
Confrontation is not an easy task, and regardless of whether you have evidence or not, it’s important to know how to approach the conversation.
Choose your words wisely and address the issue directly. Clearly communicate your desires and needs.
It’s important to establish your boundaries.
Avoid jumping to accusations of cheating if the texts don’t contain any explicit or sexual content.
In the meantime, pay attention to other signs that may support your suspicions.
Who is he texting and calling?
There are plenty of ways to find out who is he texting and calling without snooping through his phone.
Some methods will work better than others depending on your situation.
Most other sources will suggest you directly install apps to track or spy on your significant other’s phone.
What we suggest is to be vulnerable, work on your trust issues and confront your partner.
Yet, know that asking and spying on his phone won’t prevent him from cheating.
The main thing that you should do is talk about trust and how to be more confident in this relationship.
Then everything else will fall into place!