Dealing with an ex isn’t that easy especially if you have feelings for him and you miss him.
The human brain can play a lot of tricks and make you miss your ex without any particular reason.
Before hitting the send button you ask yourself if you should tell him that you miss him.
Well, that all depends on the reason you broke up and your post-breakup connection.
To be more specific, you need to rely also on the fact that you were the dumper or the dumpee.
This helps to define the reason why you are missing your ex and why you want to write him about it.
Before jumping to texting samples, let’s check if you should text your ex-boyfriend to tell him that you miss him.
Should I tell my ex I miss him?
There are some specific occasions when you should tell your ex that you miss him.
Before doing it you should ask yourself some questions, that will help you to decide what to do.
- Why do you miss your ex?
- Do you see him as a potential partner and can you have a future together?
- What is your end goal?
- Are you on the same page right now? Does he want you back as you want him?
If he is already in a relationship and doing well then there’s no point in mentioning that to him.
When you are both single and he’s also willing to listen, you can initiate a conversation.
In this situation, you should be nourished and not expect anything from him.
If you aren’t healed yet and didn’t process the breakup properly, you’ll end up getting hurt.
Just because you’re dealing with loneliness and anxiety after the breakup, that doesn’t mean you should text him.
Instead, try to focus on yourself and write down what you want to say to him right now.
Don’t send the text right away, write down in a journal those feelings and thoughts.
This will help you to have a different point of view and know why you miss him.
If you ended up on good terms, want to rekindle the relationship, and feel complete with him, go and text him!
Check these 35+ texts to know exactly how to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him:
1. Start with an ice breaker
When texting first after the breakup or after No Contact, all you want is to
sound fresh, nourished, and interested.
That’s why you should have some nice ice breakers under your sleeves.
Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered here!
-A reminder or a memory
Start with a core memory of yours. Tell him about any mutual place that you have visited or something you used to do.
Do it because you feel these core memories will impact your future positively.
If you are in a bad relationship right now or feeling unfulfilled, texting him will confuse both of you.
“Hey Jack, how are you? Just passed near Central Park and they’re still doing Rock the Boat activities. Wanna join some day?”
“Hi, hope you’re doing well. It’s been a while but I listened to Taking Pictures of You on the radio and remembered how much you loved it.”
“I am eating Gelato at Tony’s and the strawberry flavor reminded me of you.”
“Hey, Mathew. Congrats on the Bears winning this tour. I felt the same joy as we were here the last time around.”
~Remind him of any anniversary while teasing him a bit
In this case, you might send him a pic of a place or an object that reminds you of your special dates.
If you were having the first date or any special occasion in a special restaurant, text him about it.
“Hello, hello, (insert his name), remember when you used to dance crazy on these stairs?”
“Hi Jake, I bet you miss these sweet hot cross buns from Cali’s Bakery.”
“As you used to push me off this cliff and jump on the sea, today I tried it by myself. Here….(attach a photo or a short video.”
“November 8, sweet cannoli and a boat. Does this ring a bell?”
You can send these types of messages only if you ended up on good terms or want to rekindle the relationship.
~If your breakup was messy then try to take a step back, reflect, and look at what could be done.
~If you were dumped without closure then it’s not worth reminding them of past times. That would not make any difference.
He might miss you right now but be in another relationship or too stubborn to work on his flaws.
To get a better idea about your past relationship just check a relationship coach.
Once you are able to reflect on the past and your decisions, you will know what to type.
2. Try to be funny and flirty to some extent
Being funny and flirty is the best tool to ease the situation and start fresh.
Even though, in this situation, you should try to keep your cool.
You don’t need to sound super needy or excited.
It’s okay that you miss him and you want to convey to him this message.
Hence, trying hard might make you look bad and you may end up being played by him.
With a few words, you should be neutral and convey the right message. Here’s how to do it!
You might send memes that are funny and relatable but that don’t cross any of your or his boundaries.
You should be careful to not put him on the spot.
You can write “Do you still look at burgers like this or nah?”
You can send any meme that relates to something that he likes or does and is friendly.
Avoid sending something that can make either one of you mad or remind you of all the pain.
~Send him a message with a cute and warm tone
“I really wanna relive the rainy days, listening to playlists that you used to make.”
“I don’t think that anyone ever could make better pancakes than you. Here are mine…not close enough.”
3. Show him subtly that you regret your decision
If you have initiated the breakup and did him wrong, you need to reflect on your decisions.
If you miss him just because you are going through the stages of a breakup, it’s better to wait and not text.
Instead, try to sort out your feelings and reflect on why you miss him.
Be honest but don’t be too brutal since you don’t know what your ex is feeling at this moment.
Apologize to him by showing what makes you miss him!
“HEY (their name). After many struggles these past months, I concluded that I ruined our future.
“Hello, James. Hope I have I didn’t ruin my last chance with you.. By the way, I’m Amy: regretted, wanting to start fresh, and the loving one.”
“Your personality was everything that inspired me to be a better person. I miss it. That’s why I started to work on myself!”
“Everything used to make sense to me when I was with you. I miss it and I hope you’re doing better.”
“I know that the mad version of you is the sexiest, but I am so sorry for doing you wrong.”
4. Show him that you still care about him
These text messages should be short, flirty a bit, and honest.
Show him that you care and don’t just tell him.
After the breakup, he wants to know that you’ve changed for good. He wants to know the reason that you have contacted him.
“Honestly, these days have been rough. I hope you are doing well because you deserve it.”
“Good morning to you. I just wanted to check on you. Things have been rough but I do care about you.
“I know this isn’t right but hope you have the greatest birthday ever.”
“You deserve the world. I am glad that you got that job.”
Try to keep it neutral and not create any awkward situation.
5. Ask him for help or advice
You can tell your ex that you miss him by text if you trigger his hero instinct.
In this case, you can text him to ask about his opinion or advice but not for his validation.
Otherwise, asking for his validation will immediately give him the power.
Even though you might have initiated the breakup, you need to set your boundaries too.
So, to escape this type of situation here are some examples:
“Hello, hello, Connor. I am now about to buy a bike and you know them the best. Which one I can choose.”
“Mason, I need your professional and humble opinion. Which one of these swim boards is the best? I need it for tomorrow…”
“I was just listening to Arctic Monkey’s new album, since you’re their fan, is it worth it to buy the entire album?”
“What’s up Clayton, I was wondering if you could assist me in this project that I’m working on. Please.. *puppy eyes emoji”
These messages aren’t suitable for every situation. For example, the last message is quite honest and straightforward.
That could be used only when you ended up on good terms.
With this text, you will be able to praise your ex, ask for his help and show how much you miss him.
6. Raise his curiosity
This one is a little bit risky because you need to make him curious enough but not play mind games.
The moment you make comparisons or want to show off, that’s when you lose their attention.
In this case, he might not want to participate or reply. Making him jealous isn’t going to help you get back together.
You just need to interrupt the pattern and give him a little glimpse of your life.
Take this one step at a time, according to your situation.
“Mario, you won’t believe what I am eating today. I am having that at your favorite spot… Guess.”
“Today I tried the new restaurant that you have suggested. Guess what I chose there.”
“I need your opinion on something. I have an invitation to the summer fair next week.”
“A friend of mine got me into soccer a lot. Do you know where I can find good soccer boots?”
“I, Sara, and Harry are trying to find a shorter route to Grand Canyon. I miss your tour guide skills, wanna help?”
Within every text message, you should leave some information out so you can be a bit mysterious.
7. Send him a handwritten card
Now, it’s time to change the game.
I am encouraging you to be honest but not way too straightforward.
In that card, you might write a few sentences about how you’re feeling, be open but funny at some point.
Try to balance being serious about it and having a subtle approach.
“Hey, I just wanted to say that I have been reflecting a lot lately. I wanted to do this and not just send a digital message. I wanted to show that you were on my mind since the breakup because I realized my issues.
Been working on them and my flaws.. Can I guarantee that everything will be fine immediately? No… But I am working on making myself face all my fears and flaws so I can make the relationship work.”
“Collin, here we are. Yes, this is me, my thoughts, and my handwriting. I just want to let you know that I wanted to talk about everything: Our relationship, you, me, and everything in between.
I bet that you are quite angry at me and you’re completely right. If you feel ready to talk, just know that I am on the other side of this card.”
8. Stroke his ego
How to tell your ex that you miss him? That’s quite easy.
Just use small compliments and encouragement that will immediately send the right message to him.
Be careful, do not use generalized flattering or any type of sexual compliments.
If the relationship was toxic then you might feel the urge to do this but still step away.
There is no reason to compliment or get back to a controlling ex or a narcissistic one.
Here are a few examples of how to stroke your ex’s ego:
“Good morning Josh, this might sound a bit unusual but know that I’m always here for you.”
“Your personality rocks and you are the best things that ever happened to me. Shame on me for missing the opportunity.”
“I smelled today that famous cologne at Sephora today and it reminded me of you. You make that fragrance special.”
“Heard today James giving the news but there is no other better reporter than you.”
“Last night, I had a strange dream. I just got lost in your eyes.”
Is it worth it to message an ex telling him that you miss him?
Well, it’s worth it to message your ex telling him that you miss him just if you are on the same page.
If you know the reason why you are doing it and if you need to give closure, do it.
It’s worth it if you see that there is a chance to reconcile the relationship.
Otherwise, if you gave your ex closure or vice versa and he moved on, there is no point in doing it.
In this case, you need to focus on yourself, even extend the No Contact if you need, and move on.
Telling your ex-boyfriend that you miss him, shouldn’t always sound needy and desperate.
Sometimes that’s the right thing to do if you want to reconnect again.
As long as you feel nourished and both of you have been working on yourselves after the breakup, that’s fine.
That’s because neither one of you can take it as a message for attention or a desperate need.
You will take it as an appreciation for an ex and as someone valuing their impact.
Also, if you need to check if your ex will reply to you so you can move on, that’s totally worth it.
If they don’t reply or try to breadcrumb you after some time, you know that you need to take a step back.
What to do if he doesn’t reply to your text message?
Don’t forget that getting a reply from an ex takes time.
It might take some days or weeks or he might not even reply.
That all depends on how your breakup happened and how you processed it.
1. Try to be calm and understand also his behavior. Leave it for a few times like that and don’t put pressure on him.
After some weeks you might text something subtle to remind him that you have texted him earlier.
If he doesn’t respond again then it’s time to focus on yourself and move on.
2. Try to reflect on what could have gone wrong. Maybe it’s your behavior, the reason you broke up, or your recent approach.
If you have been using No Contact and now you contact him then he might not feel the same as you.
I am not implying that might be the reason for not replying but he might think that you moved on.
This all depends on how you kept contact after the breakup and if both of you healed.
Still, don’t make an instant decision. Sit back and reflect on this situation. There is always an answer for his behavior.
Try to understand and decipher him if you think that you have a future together.
3. Don’t just wait for his reply and start to become obsessed with him. It’s okay, I understand that you miss him and might be anxious to get his answer.
Hence, in the meantime, try to focus also on your life and keep it moving.
Otherwise, you will try to make it work by making the wrong decisions and pushing him away.
In the end: How to tell your ex you miss him over text?
The best way to tell your ex you miss him over text is to be friendly, a bit flirty, and thoughtful.
Being too straightforward with him can sound needy and clingy.
Hence, putting him on a pedestal and paying him a little more attention, won’t hurt anyone.
What you need to do is be vulnerable to that extent that shows your intention and still draws your boundaries.
Texting or showing your ex-boyfriend that you miss him doesn’t mean that you need to put yourself down.
That’s not acceptable even if you initiated the breakup.
So, remember, the best way to tell him that you miss him is to tell them the reason.
At the same time try to keep it fun and lighthearted.
Take care of your hearts,