What to text your ex after a long time apart? – 24 useful texts!

A breakup is never something easy to move on from. It takes healing and self-growth to finally reach a moment of ease.

Sometimes, breakups are a bit easier to handle if they end up on a good note, however, those that end in a sour tone are the ones that take a toll on you.

Either way, you might still want to contact your ex. As reasons can be numerous, your texts can’t be general.

No, your texts need to have a purpose, be elaborate, and be straight to the point.

Here are 24 texts you can text your ex after a long time apart: 

Texts to send your ex if you’re looking to reconnect

When texting your ex after a long time, you need to make sure that you have a reason.

A lot of people reconnect with their exes and try to maintain a friendship.

However, since you’re the one texting them first, you’re also yielding them the chance to reject you.

In a way, you’re opening a door that they weren’t willing to consider until now.

That’s why your text needs to be challenging, purposeful, exciting, and a recollection of fond memories.

• 1. “Hey [name]. I was just thinking of you, I hope you’re doing well. I’m thinking of going to the ski trail where we went last winter but I can’t remember the route. Would you please help me out with how to find it on the internet? Thank you.”
• 2. “Hi [name], I just finished reading Deadly Cross and I’ve got to say, I called the murderer. I think this is the effect of watching a lot of Sherlock Holmes with you. Hope you’re doing well!”
• 3. “Hey [name]! I am buying my brother a gaming console for his birthday but I can’t seem to figure out which one to get. I remembered you know a lot about that tech stuff, would you let me pick your brain about it over some tea or coffee?”
• 4. “I know how much you loved [name of the show/series], and I couldn’t help but ask you whether you saw the ending or not. I can’t believe it ended like that!”
• 5. “Hi, I just checked that restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to. The interior was so cool and the food was extremely delicious. I think you’ll love it.”
• 6. “I went for a run in the park today and saw a new trailer. I remember how much you loved walks outside. I’d love to take you out sometime, let me know if that works for you. Sincerely, [your name]”

The advanced “How have you been?” texts for your ex

There is nothing wrong with wishing to check in on your ex. All things considered, this person was once someone very dear to you.

Thus, the wish to know about their well-being isn’t ill-intentioned.

On the other hand, you need to let them know, perhaps indirectly, that you don’t expect anything else from them.

So when crafting your text, let them know of your intentions, don’t leave room for interpretation, and don’t pressure them for a reply.

Here are some examples:

• 1. “Hey, I know it’s been a while. I just wanted to check in on you and see how you’re doing. I would love to hang out sometime and catch up. Let me know if this works for you as well. No pressure.”
• 2. “Hi [name]. I met Nate today and he told me that you finally got that promotion you were working towards. Congratulations! Hope you’re doing well.”
• 3. “Hi [name], I know this is out of the blue but I had to share this meme with you. It reminded me of our time in college. I hope things worked out for you and you’re in good health.”
• 4. “[name], I just landed in Chicago and it’s pouring. It reminded me of how much you loved going out for coffee in this weather. How have you been?”
• 5. “Hi, I ran into Jude today and she told me about what happened. How is your hand? Have you been able to move it yet? I hope you get better soon.”
• 6. “Hey, I saw your Insta story and I can’t believe how much [name of the pet] has grown! It’s great to know that both of you are doing great!”

Texts to send to your ex if you’re looking for closure

Ending things on a bad note might be one of the reasons why you are seeking them after such a long time.

There might be things that you need to apologize for, confessions, and say what you needed to say to them before your relationship ended.

In this case, you need to show that you have understood your mistakes, have matured, and can take accountability for your actions.

Make sure to let them know that this is something coming from the heart and not just an attempt to take the guilt off your shoulders.

Here are some examples:

• 1. “Hey I know we ended things on a bad note, but I’d love to have a cup of coffee and clear some things. It was wrong of me to say the things I’ve said, and I want to properly apologize for it.”
• 2. “Hi [name[. I know you might not want to hear from me, but I’ve done some self-reflection and I can’t believe I acted that way. It wasn’t up to me to make decisions for your life. I see where I went wrong and I’d like to apologize in person if you’re okay with that.”
• 3. “Hi [name]. This might be overdue but I’d like to apologize for my behavior toward you when you told me you were moving. It was out of character and I’d like to meet up and clear the air.”
• 4. “Hey [name]… Much time has passed since we last talked and I can see I wasn’t exactly right. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions without hearing your side of the story as well. What I said isn’t excusable, however, I’d still like to apologize.”
•  5. “[name]. I know there were many things left unsaid when we broke up, and we didn’t clear the air. There are some things that I need to apologize for, and I thought I could do so over coffee or lunch. Whatever works for you, just let me know.”
• 6. “Hi, I heard that you just moved to the other side of the world, and meeting up would be impossible right now, but I’d still like to apologize for what I did. I should have come to you so that we could solve problems together and shouldn’t have attempted to do it on my own. It was wrong of me to blame you for the results when clearly I was the one that made those decisions. You might not care at this point, but I’d like to say I am sorry and I hope you’re happy and healthy.”

Have something at their place? Here’s what you can text your ex to get your things back!

In the heat of the moment and the rush to cut contact as quickly as you could, there might have been valuable things that you might have left behind.

It is very unlikely for them to have taken care of those things after a long time, but it doesn’t hurt to ask, especially if we’re talking about precious things to you.

Thus, your text needs to show that you don’t intend to mess up their life, but that you have a genuine purpose for disturbing them after such a long time.

However, stay prepared to receive a negative answer as they might have gotten rid of your things as a part of their moving-on process.

1. “Hey [name]. Hope you’re doing well… I was wondering if you still have my Women’s Murder Club series. I couldn’t find it at my place and I remembered I left it at yours.”
2. “Hi [name]. I just wanted to let you know that I am canceling Amazon Prime Video so that it doesn’t come as a surprise. Perhaps you could start your own subscription.
3. “Hey, would you mind if I drop by and pick up the stuff I left behind at your place, of course, if you haven’t gotten rid of them yet haha.”
4. “Heyy, would you mind shipping my jewelry box, I just remembered that it is still at your place. I’ll pay for the shipping fee and anything else.”
5. “Hi. I am moving places and while cleaning up I found some of your stuff. I knew they were valuable to you and was wondering if you’d like to pick them up or arrange delivery for them?”
6. “Hey. I know much time has passed but is there any chance that I’ve left my coin collection at yours? If so, please let me know, I’d like to get them back.”

When is the best time to reach out to my ex?

After breaking up with him, you will feel a load of emotional outbursts and you will need to come to terms with what happened to your relationship.

It will take time for both of you to feel like yourselves, however, when that day comes, you might also feel the need to reconnect with them.

Whether you’re trying to apologize or simply build a bridge for friendship with your ex, here’s the best time to reach out to them:

– When you’ve given them enough space to feel calm and think things through.

After you both take a while to calm down, reflect, and start your healing journey, if you think it’s necessary, you can break the No Contact.

Just like your therapist would say, it’s necessary to take a while and refrain from communication while you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

Make sure you are strong emotionally and have had time to self-reflect.

– When you’re not coming from a place of loneliness and desperation.

You might get the urge to text your ex because of the loneliness or desperation you might be feeling after the breakup.

More often than not, loneliness and desperation aren’t a good base for when you’re texting your ex.

– Before you two start dating other people.

If you’re looking for clarity, and if you’re trying to figure out whether you’d like to establish a platonic connection or not, then you might want to do it before you get involved with other people.

Reaching out to your ex while they’re dating another person, or while you’re dating another person, might be a bit too late, unless you have an urgent reason to text them.

– Celebrations: Birthdays, graduations, etc.

If you ended things on a good note, then a good time to text your ex would be a time when they reach a particular milestone, be it a birthday, graduation, or a job promotion.

If you feel like making room for a possible reconnection, you can text the wishes and add a question to entice a conversation.

“Happy birthday.  Best wishes. What did you wish for this time around?”

When is it too late to text my ex?

Now that much time has passed and you have figured your things out, you’d like to reconnect with your ex.

Whether you’re trying to apologize, reconcile, or just see how they’re doing, sometimes you might reach a point where it might be too late.

Since no relationship ends in the same way, what you can apply to one, can’t apply to the other.

There are some things you can check to determine whether it is too late to contact your ex:

• They’ve moved on to another partner or simply moved on from the relationship.
• If years have passed and nothing connected you two throughout those years.
• If they’ve blocked you in their socials or other forms of virtual communication.
• When they’ve disconnected you from your socials by not responding to your text(s).

All in all, if there’s something you feel should be said and it’s of high importance, you can send a text to them, but always consider the weight your words carry.

Be careful and thoughtful with your approach, the wording of your text, and the message that your text carries.

Sincerely,

Callisto