Every one of us has experienced some rejection or situation where we have been ghosted by someone we liked very much. It’s easy to think it’s your fault or something is wrong with you to make them disappear after your first date. 

But that’s not always the case—you’re perfectly fine, even if some men still choose to ghost you.

You don’t have to feel miserable. Take control and alchemize the situation around, turn that lead into gold.

Text him these effective messages I wrote for you and overcome the rejection in style, like the real queen you are! 

Step 1 – Prepare the Mindset

When getting ready to send him that message make sure you have a plan in mind.  You don’t want to appear too needy or develop any anxious attachment style to him.

You need to be in the right headspace, acknowledging your feelings and your emotions makes this process easier. Try to relax and meditate before doing so. 

Think of how you want to be perceived and what tone you want your texts to have.  

And then go ahead and shoot your shot and send that text message you deeply want to him. 

Step 2 – Prepare The Message 

When you decide to text him, keep your message constructive. Avoid any confrontational language or accusations. Don’t be immature, try to maintain your calm and be the “bigger person” You only want to know the truth and move on with your life. 

Surely you do not want to come up as obsessive or lunatic, but rather as someone who maturely asks the other person’s reasonable explanations for why they disappeared. 

A relaxing tone is everything when conveying your message. It shows that you are confident and somehow you “don’t care” about him. 

Even though you do!

Step 3 – The Message 

When writing the message, keep in mind the situation you are in, how the date went, how he made you feel, and what you think is most relevant to write to him as a follow-up to his post-Houdini trick.

Choose whatever feels like it suits you better according to your situation with the guy and see if he is interested in writing you back! 

• Just checking in: 

“Hey, [the guy’s name]  just wanted to check if you are ok, it’s been a while since we last spoke, hope you are doing well. Have a nice day”

• Using a playful tone:

“Did aliens have taken you from this side of the earth? Or just busy like a busy boy you are lol” 😆

• Reminding him about something 

Hey, it’s [Your Name]. I came across that thing you mentioned recently—what a coincidence! Let’s catch up when you have a moment. Talk soon!”😊

• Light tap 

“Missing our chats, How have you been?”

• Make clear any uncertainty! 

“I don’t want to stir any turmoil, but I just want to make sure if I’ve wronged you or said anything during our dinner that upset you, please let me know. I’ve been thinking about it, but I can’t figure out why you haven’t called or texted me since. Please call me back so we can discuss this further, if you also want to, of course!”

• Leave things open 

“Hello, hope you’re doing well. I’d love to catch up for a cup of coffee sometime. Let me know when you can Bye!” 

• Make him a question 

“Hi! I just remembered that X -thing you told me about, can you tell me more about it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!”

• Constructive Statement 

“Hi! I trust you’re doing okay. I have been putting some thoughts on our date and I think it’s better to express what we both felt honestly and constructively, without fearing that one of us might feel heartbroken or touched.

I understand the date might not have gone as you expected, as you disappeared. Although, I still think you owe me an explanation, even if it’s not positive. Please write to me when you can. Have a nice evening”

• Be direct 

You haven’t written to me since our last date. Is everything ok? 

• It’s Final Final 

“I Haven’t heard from you and that is making me worried a little. If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, just say so. You don’t need to be playing the ghosting on me. I’m a grown woman, I can take a NO for an answer!

But Why Do Guys Disappear After the First Date? 

Yes!!! He is flaky, he comes and goes but sometimes they can also be uninterested in you. Or other reasons like: 

• He may not have felt that connection he felt when chatting
• He didn’t like your mannerisms, the way you speak, present yourself, etc
• The  ✨chemistry ✨sometimes the sparkle just isn’t there 
• They sense you want something serious, but they don’t
• They are seeing someone else 

We can brainstorm all the possibilities all day. But one thing is for sure;  “He’s just not that into you” 

Like Alex said in the movie; “You are an exception. You’re not the rule. And the rule is if a guy doesn’t call you, he doesn’t want to call you.”

Although guys often tend to come back after the ‘Houdini’ phase, it’s usually a bit too late for women. 

So…now we ask: 

What should I text him if he reaches out after such a long time?”! 

According to the famous dating coach Mathew Hussey, he said that the best way to answer a flaky guy is to text him something like: 

“Oh, you are asking me out again, I already wrote you off” 😉 and if they reply;

 Why “would you write me off?” you reply with; 

“Well, I tend to lose interest when something isn’t going somewhere. What did you have in mind?  

With this response, you’ve put him in a position where he can either leave things as they are or, if he’s interested in a second date, take things more seriously with you.

Texting a guy who is not liable and disappears after the first date is an art in itself.  It’s like playing chess, you have to know when to “checkmate” him in the dating play. 

You also have to decode the timeline of their response: 

If the guy texts you the same day(after dating) – It means he is interested and engaged in this relation. He liked how the date went and is positive about what is going on between you two. 

If he texts you within 1-2 days which is usually a very common time response – It means he is fairly interested but might have a busy life, or he just doesn’t want to look like he is needy or something. 

If the timeframe of responding is within 3-5 days– It means he isn’t that engaged and invested in the conversation with you. Most likely the date didn’t go as he imagined it would. And it’s just playing along to not be completely rude and cut you off immediately. 

If it takes him more than 5 days– It means he is not prioritizing you and has no interest in further relationship development. 

Of course, these timelines aren’t always true, men might have different reasons why they would text you right after dating or not text you at all. 

The important thing in all this is that; – after all, you should focus on your growth and not hold back at any other dating opportunities that come your way. 

For all of us, there is someone who will not “disappear” but stay with us forever!