A guy might have stopped calling or texting because his priorities lay elsewhere and is focused on taking care of those first.
So when he doesn’t text or call, you should evaluate his past behavior, feelings, and expectations before reacting negatively to them.
Although when he stops texting and calling, you start feeling anxious and frustrated with yourself because you’re worried you said/did something wrong.
Yet, you still don’t know what is the right thing to do, call him, or vanish just like he did.
Well, worry no longer because we’ve got you!
Here are 13 things you can do when a guy stops calling and texting:
1. Don’t flood him with endless texts or calls
When he stops texting or calling you, you shouldn’t be blowing off his phone with texts and calls. Instead, wait and let things proceed as usual.
As difficult as that sounds to accomplish, I need you to bear with me!
Don’t obsess over the fact that he has stopped texting and calling.
What you should do is give him space and avoid reacting to bursts of emotions.
Such impulses are closely related to anxiety and insecurities you might feel at the moment, followed by a projection of your ideas into his actions.
Limit your texts and calls addressed to him when he doesn’t text or call.
Too much texting might leave him with the impression that you’re being desperate and needy.
So, instead of waiting for him to call or text, you should go about your day as usual and try not to look at your phone every minute.
2. Give him space and time when he stops calling and texting you
If a guy has stopped texting and calling you, then give him a little time and space to figure out his feelings and priorities.
The idea of “giving him space to miss you” might be overrated since one can still miss someone and talk every day with them.
The idea of texting and calling is to bring people together not push them apart to feel missed.
However, don’t let him keep you hanging. When he suddenly stops contact it’s the same as ghosting. Thus, avoid spending energy on him.
Since he stopped texting and calling, that is already an indirect request for space, so give it to him.
While at it, think about your well-being too.
Even kindness has its limits, thus, you should limit your waiting time and if he still doesn’t text and call, then the next step is up to you.
Reflect on your actions and words, and consider whether he’s overstepping boundaries.
So leaving room for him to figure out his next move is still fine, but don’t let him breadcrumb you or keep you hanging with his no contact.
3. Text or call him first if you’ve never initiated contact
He might have stopped texting and calling because he has always been the initiator and wants to see if you will take the lead once.
Reflect on your behavior and see if this is the truth, and if so, then you should text him first and break the silence.
This will show him that you’re also willing to put in the effort and are interested in keeping the relationship going.
However, if he still doesn’t reach back after you texted him first, then all you can do is let it go.
Otherwise, if you have always been the one texting first and he just suddenly stopped texting and calling, you shouldn’t chase after him.
4. Assess his behavior during the time he texts but avoids calls
When a guy texts but stops calling, pay attention to the behavior he usually displays through texting to get an understanding of his actions.
He might find it more comfortable to text than call in a certain timeframe, because of work or his surroundings.
This behavior is a reflection of how he will handle things down the road when similar circumstances occur, and you should decide whether you can put up with it.
However, if he stops calling you only at night and is insistent to stick to texting, that might be something you want to look further into.
He might be seeing someone or is in someone else’s presence amongst other reasons such as he’s out with friends, it’s too loud at the place he’s at, etc.
When he stops calling and only texts, listen to what your gut feeling is telling you and look into it if something is unsettling.
5. Imply the seven-day rule when he stops texting and calling
The seven days rule implies finding the value of a thing before you decide to buy it.
Although love isn’t transactional, the seven-day rule can help you figure out your thoughts and feelings for him.
He might be going hot and cold with you. When a guy stops texting and calling wait, for seven days and afterward ask yourself these questions:
- How are his actions making you feel?
- Was it worth spending time with him and waiting for his texts/calls?
- How has he affected your life and does he fit with your values and morals?
This will help clarify some confusion about his value in your life, and if it’s worth going back to him after seven days.
The principle of “worth” is in your eyes because you will be weighing the pros and cons of his actions on yourself while taking time to think about it.
So, when he stopped texting and calling you, with the seven-day rule you’re evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of your relationship.
That way having a clearer idea unblurred by the overwhelming emotions you could be experiencing.
6. Rethink your investment in this relationship
When you’re just getting into dating or starting an exclusive relationship, the effort should be mutual and balanced.
When he stops texting and calling, there is an imbalance of power.
Rethink the effort and investment you’re putting into this relationship.
At this point, avoid overinvesting, calling, and texting him, especially now that he’s stopped texting and calling you.
This “move” gives him power and makes him make zero investment and effort into the relationship, creating an unfair imbalance within the relationship.
It is easier for him to pull back since he didn’t invest much.
Avoid trying harder to please or contact him when he doesn’t put in the same effort or has stopped all contact.
7. Don’t jump to conclusions without getting your questions answered
When a guy stops texting and calling you, don’t jump to the worst conclusion of all without checking the situation you’re in.
If you’re in a healthy relationship and it has longevity, when he stops calling and texting should not bother you as much because you already know him.
However, if you’re in the early stages of dating he might just be not feeling the connection anymore and stopped texting and calling without a word.
What you can do when a guy stops texting and calling is confront him about his action.
You can text first and then move the conversation into a call if he replies, but always avoid an accusatory voice.
Let him know that you don’t see eye-to-eye with his actions and that you expect to be treated and respected.
When he stops calling and texting, you can send your goodbye text, you should not, under any condition, send him another text a few days later.
That will just make you look clingy and redemptive of your words, and you’d still let him treat you in any manner he wants.
8. Try to do things for yourself instead of waiting on the phone
He stopped texting and calling, but that doesn’t mean you should be waiting hopefully by your phone. You’ve got to do what you usually do!
If you feel like this isn’t working, to keep yourself distracted go out with your friends and do something that will help you rejoice.
You can go on a long walk, watch a movie, or solve a jigsaw when he stops texting or calling you since he hasn’t gotten back to your last text either.
If this silence is sudden, it can mess with your head, and considering how tiring it is to think about it, you’ve got to take a break from it.
This silence does not evaluate nor define you as a person.
It doesn’t have that significance in your life, hence tiring your mind about it isn’t worthy and neither beneficial to your mental health.
So, instead of obsessing over the fact that he stopped texting and calling, choose to do something nice for yourself.
Treat yourself to a massage, a hot bath, or a calm moment in your room where you light up the candles and listen to music or anything else you like!
Hell, talk to a professional about it, hang out with friends… The list is endless and it ends where you want it to end.
You could provide a limited timeframe in which you can wait, but if the no contact exceeds it, there is nothing left to do than mirror his last actions too.
9. Avoid using social media to stalk him
When a guy stopped calling and texting, you shouldn’t be resorting to social media to make excuses for his behavior and see what he’s up to.
The desire is strong but try to resist it as that will only negatively affect your confidence, and causes a reevaluation of the self.
So, if you have him on any media platforms and he has stopped calling and texting, take a break from it and do something in the real world.
A guy might stop texting and calling and come back later, and repeat the same process, just so that he keeps you in the loop, and has fun while playing his game.
So you are mature enough to say no to games and also identify when you notice that your self-worth has taken a hit and start pulling back too.
10. Accept that this relationship might be coming to an end
You shouldn’t dig for negativity when a guy stops texting and calling you, but you mustn’t be blind to it if the negativity is already there.
If you have noticed continued changes in his behavior which proceed with no contact, then you might not have much to work with.
As with the ending of a relationship, you go through the 5 stages of grief even when things don’t go the way you’re used to.
First, you deny that something is wrong and you attempt to save your normal.
Then anger follows with an outburst of emotions which makes you feel like you were treated unjustly.
Then you start bargaining with the if-s and what-s, blaming yourself for not making things work, and you’re insecure and feel anxious.
Afterward, depression hits and feeds self-doubt and worth, followed closely by the lack of desire to do anything which might help you forget him.
And, finally, accepting that the outcome can’t be changed.
He stopped texting and calling. Accepting that will make you feel liberated and help you move forward.
It can be an indirect way of ending the connection, so prepare yourself, and try to accept it slowly while being careful how you treat your own heart.
11. Avoid throwing blame around
When a guy stops texting and calling, you shouldn’t blame yourself or him for that matter, as that will make it harder for you to accept the situation.
Starting a blaming cycle will be difficult to break away from.
It will just make you dive deeper into finding faults that will not be helpful to bring him back if that’s what you wish.
Because of the fear, anxiety, blame, and guilt, you might unintentionally show something that is out of character and you might regret it later.
That’s why you should try to take it as calmly as possible.
Accusations are unlikely to solve anything, rather they can further complicate situations that might lead to undesirable results such as breaking up, looking desperate, or making you look like the bad guy.
12. Remind yourself of your values
Acting consciously of your actions will help you consider your values and decide what you should do when a guy stops calling and texting.
Doing anything against your values as a reaction to him not contacting you shows that you value him over yourself.
Therefore, avoid putting him on a pedestal, instead, know your worth and value and don’t stand for being acknowledged for less.
If you feel like when he stopped texting and calling made you feel disrespected, not valued, and unworthy, that’s when you put a stop to it!
You’re seeking validation because your ego has been hurt rather than because you want to reach out to burden yourself with useless excuses why he hasn’t texted and called back.
13. Focus on what you can control and take action
You can’t control his action and desire to text and call you, thus, you should focus on what’s in your hands so that you can shape yourself.
If you’re feeling less attractive because of his actions, then it’s under your control to change that.
Make a list of what’s making you feel insecure and less attractive. Then focus on each point for a week.
Putting a time limit will push you to accomplish it. Consider the difficulty and complexity of it before deciding on a timeline.
So, now you’ll be feeling like you are in control and also committed to something that you have created and is beneficial to you.
Since you might be feeling less because he stopped texting and calling you, you should take care of yourself.
Try and build back the confidence to where it was, while striving for a new and better version of yourself.
Should I attempt to reach back when a guy stopped texting and calling?
Before you make a decision, try to look at the bigger picture by recalling his behavior from the first time you started talking until this moment.
When your relationship has gone through many trials during the years you’ve been together, perhaps not being in contact constantly isn’t something that you find bothersome.
In such a case when this behavior has been turned into a habit and has never bothered you before, then you can talk to your partner about it.
Also, you must be past the “should I text him or not” phase, and just text him.
You can still ask him what’s been holding him back, but don’t accuse him of something that’s based on assumptions.
On the other hand, if you have just started dating him and suddenly he goes MIA, you can still text him first, nothing’s wrong with that.
Nonetheless, you shouldn’t be persistent with your texts. Once is enough. You have done your part, now it’s his turn.
When you’ve been the one to put in all of the effort to make things work, and he still stops texting and calling whenever he wants, then you should step back and not stand being treated this way.
You’ve got someone to talk to, about this or anything else going on in your life. It’s within your reach!
If his behavior is repetitive without a structured pattern, you should consider if this instability is what you’re looking for in a relationship.
FAQ: It is not all about what you see. It’s also a projection of insecurities
– What does it mean if my boyfriend stops texting/calling me?
If your boyfriend stops texting or calling you, it can mean a few things, including but not limited to:
- He is comfortable enough in your relationship that he doesn’t need to text/call every day;
- He trusts you;
- He’s losing interest;
- He’s trying to make a point;
- You’ve hurt him;
– He isn’t texting as much as he used to. What changed?
There might not be a reason for him to text anymore, that’s why he isn’t texting as much.
Sometimes, when a relationship is moving slowly and steadily, you both get comfortable enough with one another to the point where you don’t need constant validation of one another’s feelings.
On the other hand, a decrease in texting frequency can also indicate a decrease in interest and/or curiosity, especially during the early stages of dating.
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