Rejection and uncertainty while dating fuels anger and crushes self-confidence, in women and men too.
But when a woman pulls away, a man will either ignore her completely or chase her indirectly/directly just to prove his point.
Hypothetically speaking, rejection for most men means an attack on their masculinity.
Thus, he will immediately picture that you’re dating someone else or you’re testing his patience and love.
To clear the smoke, here are 14 things that happen to a man when a woman pulls away:
1. He tries to reflect on what is going on
When a woman pulls away from him then he might be shocked and might go immediately through a rollercoaster of feelings.
He might feel confused, blame himself, blame you, or just try to drown himself in this limbo.
After a day he will start to reflect on what went wrong. He might start to overthink his actions and what he might have done to hurt you.
At this moment, his actions might be sporadic and confusing too. He might choose to communicate or not with you.
2. He instantly feels unlovable
The moment that a woman doesn’t give the needed and wanted attention and love to a male, this will crash his self-love senses.
And this comes as a result of the deep emotions that he is feeling.
Especially if he was deeply in love with her and then facing these types of changes in the relationship, he starts to feel like a burden.
According to an article by Forbes, a man can feel as deeply as a woman and can connect his feelings with his self-worth seemingly.
Thus, the moment that she starts to act boring and engages less with him, he will question his worth.
3. He might try to chase her even more
There’s another side to what happens to a man when a woman pulls away. He tries to prove his love and worth.
He’s searching for answers. The moment that she changes access to him, he wants to go after the truth.
He might call and text her many times. He will go beyond everything and even cross his boundaries to contact her.
Maybe he still has deep feelings for her or maybe he wants to find closure.
To understand what is going on in his mind, one can try and get help from a specialist.
4. He might not trust her again
Another part of him that is impacted by her withdrawal is not trusting too much and attempting to cheat.
If she was the one who love-bombed him and now has started to lose interest or flirt with other men, he might have trouble trusting her again.
- To console himself and boost his ego, he might start also to flirt with other women and be in another relationship.
- He might find difficulties in rebuilding trust and being vulnerable with her again.
- Also, in this case, a man might isolate himself and protect himself from not getting rejected or hurt again. Which leads him to not trust her once again.
5. He might put his walls up
Losing trust, chasing her, and doubting himself aren’t the only things that happen to a man when a woman pulls away.
I pulled away once because I wasn’t good at defining my feelings and instead of communicating with him, I run in the other direction.
And he started to communicate with me too and put his guard up.
- Thus, a man who is being pushed away by a woman might take a step back.
- He will stop giving the same effort as he did before.
- He won’t chase her anymore or give her the slightest attention.
He will also play the reverse card by pulling away and mirroring her actions.
6. He might stop supporting her
Not all men discontinue supporting their partner who pulls away.
But, if he thinks that she needs space to reflect on the relationship and rebuild trust, he will stop pressuring you but not cancel his support.
Hence, if a man is hurt by this woman and he left scars in his life, hell yeah, he will cancel that subscription.
- He might temporarily or permanently focus on working on his emotions and reflecting deeply on this matter.
- His withdrawal and lack of support may continue forever or it might continue until he feels ready to communicate with her.
- He might continue to respect hers or even his boundaries and shift the focus from her to himself.
7. He might try to stalk her
A man who has a bigger ego won’t be able to accept the fact that a woman he loves or likes has pulled away.
Or, he might try to find small hints that will give him answers for her withdrawal.
If she doesn’t communicate with him and starts to use No Contact then he might find indirect ways to connect with her.
- He might still stalk her on social media;
- He might frequent more the places that she goes to;
- He might leave small gifts for her or even pay for her meal or drink anonymously;
8. He tries to seek reassurance
When his self-confidence is destroyed, he seeks for sources to boost his ego and find needed answers.
According to this study, men deal in a worse way with breakups and rejection or uncertainty when in a relationship.
Thus, a man needs to validate his feelings and thoughts when his woman starts to pull away.
- He might open up to her and look for ways to communicate with her. But, if he’s emotionally unavailable then he might stay distant.
- Also, he might ask a lot of questions to her regarding how she feels about him and if he was and is doing the right thing.
- He will also ask his entourage or family to give their opinion about the situation and if his decisions are accurate.
9. He might develop unhealthy habits
Not every guy deals in the same way when a woman pulls away.
He might choose his coping mechanism depending on his attachment style.
A guy who has low self-esteem and wants to still feel good about himself will try unhealthy activities to fill the void and confusion.
He tries to seek distractions so he can put his mind to ease.
- He might turn into a heavy drinker;
- He might gamble a lot;
- He might have reckless behavior;
- Also, he might act impulsively;
10. He tries to change and create a new version of himself
The relationship expert Mathew Hussey claims that when your partner pulls away, the other one thinks that they are not doing enough.
So when a woman pulls away he tries to show more effort or more love and tries to even change his appearance or personality.
This comes as a result of the uncertainty that might hurt his pride, ego, and heart!
- This guy tries to question his worth and tries new activities;
- He might even isolate himself and work a lot to change himself;
- He might have obsessive thoughts and actions.
- At this moment, he might be posting a lot on social media trying to show off.
11. He might look for another relationship to fill the void
If he feels an on-and-off vibe from her then he might look to find another relationship.
Now, it will look like the relationship didn’t end completely but she is doing her thing and he is doing his thing.
Both of them will try an open relationship eventually and not cut the tie entirely.
- This will impact both of them more;
- Both of them will be stuck in a bubble and will be uncertain of what to do about what is going on;
- For example, he might go and have a fling just to seek emotional support or validation;
12. He might feel constantly anxious
Anxiety comes as a result of uncertainty and hurt.
He might be scared of rejection and that she might never get back to him so he continues overthinking and speculating.
- He might feel afraid that he might be left alone and might not be together with her;
- Technically, he’s afraid of the future and wants to know immediately what she feels and thinks about him or the relationship;
- He might just jump back and forth to conclusions.
One minute he might feel like she loves him and vice versa and the next minute he feels the opposite.
Depending on his attachment style, he might be in this state longer or he will take control of his emotions if he has a secure attachment.
13. He might constantly reminisce on the past
When you pull away and leave him in limbo then he might still be confused and hurt.
That’s why he constantly ruminates and tries to be more connected with the past than the future.
- He might go through old conversations and reread them;
- He might try to meet her more often, even if he can just get a glimpse of her life;
- He might constantly try to initiate conversations;
- To be honest, he might still keep her things and try to use them as a tool to connect with her;
- He will constantly talk about her to his friends or family;
14. He might act rudely toward her
Sometimes a man can’t carry his feelings and might burst immediately into a rage.
How a guy acts in this scenario depends on his ability to work on his emotions and feelings.
- If he can easily connect with his feelings and know how to explain them then for him it’s easier to talk to you than spread negativity.
- On the other hand, if he is emotionally unavailable then he’ll try to talk bad about you or spread lies.
To deal with this situation, one needs to cut contact with him and try to set boundaries.
Shortly understanding the rollercoaster of his emotions!
In this article, it was mentioned what happens to a man when a man pulls away but his reaction has some kind of fluidity and happens in sequence.
Thus this is a visual representation of what could happen to a man when a woman pulls away from him:
For him, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions and it might feel like he’s stuck in a bubble and can’t get out even if he knows how to communicate.
Because pulling away is a process that starts slowly or can progress quite quickly and it might leave you speechless. You might know what’s happening or how to react.
What should you do if you’re the woman who is pulling away?
If you’re the woman who pulled away from him then try to take a step back and reflect on how you’re feeling.
Only if you learn truly how you feel, you’ll know what is causing you to withdraw from this relationship.
1. Try to see if you can rebuild the connection.
You should check how much time or what type of effort you were putting into this relationship.
Try to line up your relationship incompatibilities and which one has more red flags that are or were damaging the relationship.
It’s not an easy thing to do thus don’t be afraid to ask for help.
2. Never seek revenge.
The easiest thing that you might do when he pulls away or vice versa is to play mind games and hurt him.
Please, I beg you, try to avoid this even though it might seem impossible.
Start by taking a step back and pulling yourself out of the situation.
You might even let him know that you need some time on your own to either reflect on his or both of your actions.
3. Seek professional help.
If you don’t know what to do in this case, try to talk to a therapist or a personal coach.
Both of them will help you to define what you’re feeling and what is your man thinking.
Despite this, if you don’t feel comfortable talking with someone about this issue, try to learn new things regarding this by reading books.
- “All about Love” by Bell Hooks.
- “I hear you” by Michael S. Sorensen.
The end: The psychology of a man whose woman pulls away!
When a woman pulls and walks away can leave a huge scar on a man’s life.
It doesn’t mean that he always will feel hurt because of his male pride but also he might have had strong feelings for that woman.
Thus not being able to fully love and be with you and maybe he’s left in uncertainty, he will act like never before.
It all depends on how he feels about you and whether he has an anxious or secure attachment style.
Women need to understand what has made them withdraw from that relationship and if that can be fixed.