Encountering a narcissist can be a satisfying experience at the beginning. You can’t see the games and the tactics, you’re lured.
You’re lured into a messy game of manipulation, abuse, and maltreatment.
It’s better if you spot the signs early on so that you can prevent yourself from entering the mess you’re being allured into.
Texting nowadays has become essential. And despite the ‘superficial’ perception of it, it can indeed go within depths.
You can spot red flags of a narcissist if you’re texting one.
They’ve got common texting habits that give you just enough clues to get yourself ready!
So, what are these text habits of a narcissist?
Here: are 19 red flags of texting a narcissist!
1. You’re showered with compliments at the beginning
This phenomenon is also called ‘Love-Bombing’ and it’s used by manipulators as a tactic to woo you into their lives and presence.
Being showered with compliments is a good sign, but it’s a red flag if you just met the person.
A narcissist will text you about how beautiful you are, and how good of a soul you’ve got without even knowing you in the first place.
If they don’t know you yet, and they text you like you’re in the center of their world, it’s a red flag. You could be texting a narcissist!
2. They come on too strong with promises and romantic words
It’s about the initial stages of texting a narcissist.
Besides love-bombing and letting you know how much you mean to them without knowing you, they’ll also make promises.
It feels as if they’re your lover, and they don’t even know you that well!
They text you about how good they’d treat you, or how good you deserve to be treated.
They promise you things, they use romantic words and none of it comes naturally. This is a tactic they consciously use to seduce you into the idea that they’re ‘the right one.
3. After a while, the text conversations are rarely about you
Once the “Oh my God you’re the best thing I’ve ever known!” phase wears out, it’s time for them to drop you on the ground from the very high pedestal.
From constantly talking about you, the colorful text conversations with a bunch of emojis are kind of gone…
The text conversations with a narcissist transition into conversations that are entirely about them.
They win your interest, they seduce you with compliments, then it’s time for them to show their superiority: it’s all about them.
Being in a connection with a manipulative person can be very challenging for your mental health and your overall well-being.
You can be left with trauma and habits that follow you in future relationships, things that prevent you from having genuine connections.
Reach professional help: a relationship hero is here for you.
4. There are fewer “How are you?” texts, and more “I” and “Me” texts
A narcissist is nice only at the initial texting stages of dating, and when they feel like they’re losing you.
Once they secure your attachment to the image they’re presenting to you, it’ll be time to be all about them!
They text you to show you their achievements, to show you how grand they are, and apparently, they ‘forget’ to ask questions about you.
That’s because they’re so self-absorbed that they can’t see past anything or anyone themselves. Texting a narcissist, is the fourth red flag, check!
5. Their extravagant words don’t make up for the shallowness of their texts
Their texts are wordy and filled with a variety of words that make those texts seem very extravagant at first look.
Though it cannot cover the shallowness of their message.
This is what a narcissist does, they send you empty and meaningless texts that are very superficial without any particular depth.
It can be a way of getting your attention, making you see them as grandiose, and/or have you attached to their ‘superiority’.
6. You catch them lying
Narcissists tend to lie, magnify small things, and have you believe what they’re telling you.
You might not notice it in the beginning, but eventually, especially through text, you start noticing things not adding up.
Careful though, this could lead to you being gaslighted by this person, or be exposed to toxicity and its other forms of damaging manipulation.
7. They send you too many pictures of themselves
Narcissists are so self-absorbed and so into themselves that they’ll feel the urge to share their good looks and superiority with others.
They’re mostly focused on superficial traits, hence their need to send you pictures of themselves constantly.
This is a narcissist’s way of gaining validation, approval, and satisfaction.
8. You get ghosted from time to time
They leave when they don’t need you. They also leave so that you chase them.
A narcissist loves being admired, adored, and chased after. Ghosting is a manipulation tactic they use quite a lot.
They ghost you for a while and come back continuously so that they get your attention when they want it.
They want you desperate for them, it boosts and fuels their self-esteem.
9. You’re very unsure of their intentions
Due to a narcissist’s tendencies to focus on superficial things only, they can come off as unclear as well. In other words, they make you feel confused.
They’re all in at the beginning, but now you can’t seem to find any consistency or relevance when you look back at the text conversations you’ve had with them.
They’re inconsistent, be it in their intentions, their way of expressing themselves through text, or even the timing of their text.
It leaves you unsure due to their mercurial and capricious behavior.
10. Their texting is making you feel inferior
The way that they portray themselves makes them look as if they’re way beyond your league and level.
This can often leave you feeling inferior.
If you know yourself to not have self-esteem issues, and if you know that you’re generally ok with the way you perceive yourself, then you might pay some mind to this!
If this sense of inferiority isn’t stemming from within but it is rather a reflection of your communication with this person, it can be that they’re manipulating you into it.
11. They seem to perceive and present themselves as superior
Again, a narcissist is so self-absorbed that they cannot see anything beyond that.
It’s normal and ok to be confident, but there’s something off when that confidence is manifested through arrogance and a sense of superiority among others.
A narcissist’s way of texting is a way that presents themselves, directly or indirectly, as superiors.
That behavior and way of texting often leave you feeling insecure and perplexed especially when in contact with them.
12. You catch yourself validating them without your will to do so
Narcissists are very manipulative. They get what they want from you and you don’t even notice it!
One of those things is validation.
They might be cases in which they give you a sense of “Oh am I good enough for this?” just so that you can give your best at making them feel validated.
Of course, this works well, especially considering how they woo you into the connection and way of presenting themselves.
Next thing you know, you’re writing a long paragraph on how amazing you think they are because –all of a sudden– they can’t see it.
13. They “Click Bait” you
They write intriguing texts just so that they get your attention faster and get you to open their message quicker than you usually do.
On the other hand, they want to also test and prove your admiration for them.
For example, if they’re at the hospital visiting a friend or a family member, they’re the ones to text you “I’m at the hospital…” with no other context.
Of course, this gets you worried and makes you give them a bit of validation which is enough to feed their ego for a while longer.
14. Their texts are very dramatic
Narcissists are dramatic in general. Well, so are their texts.
They nag about everything, and they tend to make it all about themselves, that’s why their way of describing events to you can be very dramatic.
For example, “Oh gosh! I cannot deal with all these people coming after me!! Why does this happen to me all the time? What did I do to them?!”
15. They get furious when you don’t give them attention
When you stop texting a narcissist, be it short-term or long-term, you have to get yourself ready for what happens next!
Since they put themselves on a high seat above everyone else, they don’t tolerate being ignored because “Do you know who I am?!”
Since they’re inconsiderate of your needs and feelings, they’ll fail to rationalize the situation or the things you’re going through.
If you happen to ignore a narcissist’s texts, then you know very well what I’m talking about.
They’ll be annoying you with text messages until they get you to respond, or they’ll berate you for ‘disrespecting’ them like that.
16. “Look! I’m hurt!”
Dealing with a narcissist is not easy. You’re on a rollercoaster of moods, behaviors, sensations, and whatnot when in contact with them.
Something else that narcissists love doing is making you feel sorry about them so that they get you to do anything they ask you for.
They also take advantage of fragile moments in their life and magnify them. If they’ve hurt their finger with a kitchen knife, it’s going to be the story of the week.
They’ll text you about it as much as they can until another ‘interesting’ story comes along.
They want you to crave and be curious about their stories, they want to keep you hooked and admire them.
17. They don’t spare accusations
A slight inconvenience and you’re about to be showered with mean, berating, and low comments.
Some narcissists throw tantrums when you don’t behave according to their plan. Especially when you show signs that you’re sick and tired of them, or when you ignore them.
This is an occurrence especially when you don’t reply to a narcissist. You get accused, you get called names, and you’re just “not on my level”.
They tend to be very unstable, hence the rollercoaster of the journey of the connection with them.
If you get a text that’s similar to “You’re worthless! Do you have any idea who I am?!” then you want to mark a red flag of a narcissist on it!
18. You’re tired already
What happens when you text a narcissist is that you get manipulated so much that you eventually get tired and burnt out from it.
Due to the very dramatic dynamic of their way of texting and communicating with you, communication with a narcissist can leave you feeling drained.
This is due to their constant need for attention, compliments, admiration, and submission to their needs and wants.
Even if you haven’t met them and you’re only texting, you’re tired and you don’t feel like continuing this any longer.
19. You can’t handle the emojis either
A lot of narcissists use a lot of emojis so that they ‘make the text conversation more interesting’ and get your interest in them.
This way they get to seduce you faster by making you enjoy the text conversations with them and portraying themselves as a fun person instead of a ‘boring’ one.
It’s normal for people to use emojis, and it’s normal for some to use more than normal, hence you have to consider the rest of their texting habits to know if they’re a narcissist or not.
The texting habits of a narcissist: 5 eye-opening examples!
Narcissists sometimes are difficult to notice due to their strong manipulation tactics and tricks.
They do however manage to show signs, be it through text or in person.
It’s not easy to spot them directly, but it’s good to mark the red flags and take caution when you think you’re interacting with a narcissist.
Here are 5 eye-opening examples of texts that narcissists commonly send:
1. “You’re so beautiful inside and out, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.” – when they first meet you.
2. “How dare you to talk to me like that? Do you even have any idea who you’re talking to?” – when you say something that is inconvenient to them.
3. “I promise I will always be by your side.” – without even knowing you (i.e. the initial stages of talking or dating).
4. “You disappointed me. I thought you were better than this!” – when you do something that doesn’t serve them well.
5. “I do a lot of things in life, I’m very important.” – this is the vibe they give you when they talk/text about themselves.
Conclusion: Are you texting a narcissist?
- You are texting a narcissist if your needs, opinions, thoughts, and wants are being ignored and not considered.
- You are texting a narcissist if you’re left feeling small, inferior, and with very low self-esteem after almost every text conversation with them.
- You are texting a narcissist if they make everything about them, especially your problems that affect the amount of attention you give to that person.
To sum this up, a narcissist makes everything about them, and if your world doesn’t revolve around them as well, then you’re in trouble and you’re suddenly the bad guy in that situation!
If you’re tired, sick, and you’re sensing manipulation then you must proceed with caution or drop the connection there.
Best of luck,
Callisto
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