You never know how things will go with texting. It can get surprising, and well, sometimes draining.
It can also be disappointing when he doesn’t put much effort into texting as much as you do.
This leads you to text him a bit more to get his attention, which then has a chain effect. Next thing you know you’re in a vicious cycle of the chase and run.
At some point, you question whether this struggle is worth your time. Is it time to stop?
Here are 10 things to consider before you stop texting him to get his attention:
1. Avoid flooding him with texts if he hasn’t responded yet
Sometimes silence speaks to hundreds. Perhaps he might not be as interested in you as you are in him. Hence you get no reply at all.
No matter how amazing your texts might be, his attention might be occupied by something or someone else. You shouldn’t cross this possibility too.
If you keep flooding his inbox, with no reply, you shouldn’t continue texting him at all because no reply means something too.
Perhaps he might have been busy and hadn’t gotten your texts, however, if you see him active in his socials, that mustn’t be the case.
Stop trying to get his attention over text if all you are doing is chasing him.
Instead of flooding him with texts, retreat. Your texts may have been taken for granted.
Once you’re gone, he’ll notice, and your absence will get his attention.
2. Check if his response time is okay with your expectations
The frequency of texts should also be taken into consideration if you want to stop texting him to get his attention.
That is because his response shows that there might be an interest in something, which is still more positive than no text at all.
If he takes weeks to respond to your texts, then you should reevaluate your expectations.
Usually, when he displays such behavior, he might be just fooling around with you since there is nothing else interesting to do momentarily.
Keep a track of the time he takes to respond to your texts. If it takes him weeks, then you should stop texting him first for a change.
3. You are the only one trying to keep the conversation going
His display of behavior should be an indicator of whether you should stop texting him or not.
If you want to continue texting him, talk to him about his lack of engagement, and if nothing changes, then stop texting him altogether.
By doing so, you are also allowing yourself to see what happens when you stop texting him first.
Furthermore, some indicators that he isn’t engaging with you over text are
- Short/dry answers;
- No attempt to keep the conversation going;
- He doesn’t ask you questions about yourself;
- No attempts to share something personal from his side either.
If he displays such traits, stop texting him.
4. You should consider not being always the one to text first
Stop texting him first and see what happens. If he tries to put the same effort into keeping in touch, then there might be something left to work on.
You should stop texting him altogether if he holds you accountable for not texting him first.
Your constant persistence for his attention has made him feel entitled to your company, thus he is lazy to put in some work.
If you stopped texting and he still didn’t care, perhaps you should try to escape your wishful thinking and detach from him as well.
When you stop texting him first, he will take notice and either be thankful that you aren’t texting him anymore, or start thinking about why you stopped texting him.
Since men are competitive by nature, they might try to put the effort into maintaining an open communication channel to still be in contact with you.
5. He has hinted that he isn’t interested in a relationship
While talking, he might have discreetly or even directly told you that he isn’t looking for something serious or he is conflicted about his feelings.
Stop texting him and see what happened. You will be giving him time to figure out his feelings, while you also observe from the sidelines.
On the other hand, if he directly told you to stop texting him, then you most probably should.
Because your texts might just further push him to the edge instead of getting his attention.
6. Avoid being unrealistically hopeful that he will reach back
Try to detach from the desired result as much as possible. It is impossible to lose hope but don’t set up for something which might hurt you deeply.
When deciding to stop texting him, it is your mindset that will help you from the urge to still be the one to initiate text conversations.
Texting him to get his attention isn’t a healthy sign of this connection.
If you have to remind him of your existence, avoid texting him. Stop texting him to get his attention.
In the meanwhile avoid setting unrealistic expectations of his return.
7. Avoid putting your life on hold for him
Consider your availability and see if that matches his.
If you are the one that always needs to make adjustments to his schedule then it is better to stop.
You can continue texting him, but also do it on your terms. Don’t always say yes to something he suggested because you only get to meet on his time.
If you are busy and he wants something from you, just let him know that you’ll get back to him at a time which will work for you.
If for some reason, he still chooses to not respect your time, stop texting him.
This way, you let him know that you are serious about your values and confident to stand up for yourself. That might get his attention for good.
8. You should focus on yourself too
Take a break, you deserve it. Sometimes, just focusing on yourself will lead you to the right answer.
Avoid waiting all day on the phone to see if he texted you yet.
Most importantly, avoid canceling plans with the hope that he might be asking you out.
Focus on yourself by keeping healthy and strong boundaries, then stop texting him to get his attention, because clearly, it isn’t working.
Try going a week without texting him, if he texted you in what you find an acceptable response time, you successfully grabbed his attention.
If he hasn’t answered in a week, then he probably doesn’t care enough to text you at least some of the time.
He might just not be worthy of your time, attention, and effort.
9. Prepare yourself for the outcome
When deciding whether you should stop texting to get his attention, prepare yourself emotionally since the outcome can’t always be positive.
When you stop texting him, you might not hear from him at all.
If he won’t care if you continue texting him or not he might not be as invested in you, and he might not be the right one for you after all.
If this situation, unfortunately, happens, just try to take it easy on yourself and think about how much time you saved by undertaking this step now.
Avoid unrealistic expectations, prepare yourself for the outcome, and think of your stance in this situation.
Do you want him in your life?
10. Turn this around: Is his attention really worth it?
You were texting him to get his attention because he wasn’t engaging much in the connection.
What if we turned this around for a bit?
If you have to continuously remind him of your existence, presence, and value, then he might not be worthy of your time, let alone your effort to get his attention after all.
If this is a recurring theme in your dating life, then you can do something about it.
Think of your potential partners as potentials instead of people you need to impress to keep in your life.
Turn the situation around, and see if those potentials are worthy of your time. See if they deserve a place in your life.
Ask yourself, is his attention really worth my effort?
Will he notice when I stop texting him to get his attention?
That is hard to say. It all depends on the already established relationship that you have with him.
If he is a partner, he will notice when you stop texting him to get his attention.
He will quickly catch on if you stop texting him, and if he is someone you have been talking to here and there, he might not notice at all.
He will notice if you have been constantly texting each other for some time.
Even texting is tied to repetitive behavior. When that behavior is broken, you will immediately take notice of it.
The same would go if you talk to him consistently, and then suddenly you put yourself on mute, he will notice.
He won’t notice when you stop texting to get his attention if you hardly ever text each other or engage in any virtual conversations.
There are a couple of reasons that might also contribute to him noticing when you stop texting:
You might get an immediate reaction if you stop texting him.
That is because your consistent chatting is expected, when you suddenly alter the communication, he will notice.
If he likes you, he will doubt himself and if his actions might have done something that might have offended you unconsciously.
– He has been flirting with you and having fun with you.
When that banter and flirting is suddenly taken away, he will notice that something is wrong.
Because he will miss the time when he spent flirting with you, which could have been fun, resulting in you getting his attention through text.
– You have established a routine through texting together.
When breaking a routine that you have maintained for a while, a sudden break will peak the attention of the other person.
That’s why he will notice when you stop texting him and he will start to wonder what has happened that has caused this sudden change.
You won’t get his attention when you stop texting him if you have never had the chance to consistently keep in touch.
FAQ: What is the right thing for me to do?
Should I stop texting him first?
If you’re the only one initiating conversations, then you should stop texting him first.
Give the connection some room for reciprocation and test his interest in the connection.
What will happen if I stop texting him?
The possibilities can differ based on your special situation. However, one thing is for sure, you will either not text at all or he will text you first.
If you stop texting him there’s a variety of things that can take place
- He will notice but won’t do anything about it;
- He will notice and will text you;
- He won’t notice;
- You won’t hear from him again;
What should I do if he told me to stop texting?
If he told you to stop texting, then you should stop texting.
This is a clear communication of boundaries and you should respect them.
By respecting his boundaries and this requirement, you also respect yourself.
Try handling the emotions that rejection arises and try to move on.