Breakups along with the pain also leave behind duality.
On that occasion, you’ll have a specific stance towards your ex and your expectations will vary.
You’ll receive mixed signals or nothing at all. There’s no in-between.
An ex will come back eventually for their own reasons. They might be nostalgic, lonely, or still have feelings for you.
Yet, this doesn’t always happen.
Your ex might not come back because of their pride, they are overly hurt and aren’t ready to reconcile.
Either way, if your ex is still interested in you, this is a promising sign that you’ll eventually get back together.
Will my ex ever come back?
Well, this is the first question that everyone asks themselves after the breakup.
If your ex is coming back and if the relationship will work that depends on many factors.
Starting from the reason you broke up and if their feelings have changed.
If your breakup left your ex hurt then the healing process will be harder.
Also, the answer to this question lies behind the action that you and your ex take after the breakup.
If you’re the one who broke up with them then it’s up to you to make the first move. Use the time alone to improve yourself and not pursue.
The moment you create a positive aura that will re-attract your ex.
Most of the time exes come back for whatever reason. Yet, one crucial reason that they will come back is if you leave them alone.
Some will have the courage, reason, and desire to come back. Whereas, others will choose to never initiate the reconciliation.
The reason they choose to come back defines if the relationship will reconcile and last.
13 reasons your ex will eventually come back:
1. You broke up over something unimportant
Usually, when the breakup happens for a small reason, the distance helps to reflect and reconcile.
If you chose to end the relationship for a slight reason the chances to get your ex back are higher.
If the reason you broke up is fixable and your ex still has feelings for you, they’ll search for a way to come back.
When they are not over you, they will either come to apologize or search for ways to improve the relationship.
2. Your ex creates a positive attitude towards you
Is my ex slowly coming back if they compliment me out of nowhere?
Well, indeed. This is one of the signs that he or she is pondering their decision to come back.
- If your ex always complimented you in the relationship then they’re trying to get your attention.
- This sign shows that they miss your presence and are still holding on to the past.
- If your ex compliments you suddenly after the breakup, they want to make you feel special this time.
Try to notice if they follow this action by apologizing later on. If they do it then your ex is considering coming back.
3. They reach out to you first
As much as this sign might sound convincing, on the other hand, it can be very confusing.
Yes, when an ex initiates a conversation that means that you and your ex might get back together.
Yet, check the reason why they are having the first conversation after the breakup. At this point, an ex might want to reach out to you first because:
- They’re lonely.
- They’re anxious.
- They want to apologize.
- Your ex still has feelings for you.
- They want to check if they’re still part of your life.
In this situation, there is a chance of your ex getting back since they’re interested in contacting you first.
Besides, to get a grip on this situation, check the texture of their text or what they say to you.
If your ex feels sorry and wants to get back, they’ll add reasons why they called/texted you.
4. There’s still chemistry between you two
Having still chemistry between you and your ex is a sign that you’ll eventually get back together.
Yet, it’s not a sure-fire sign if they want to come back for good.
That’s because chemistry can help in rekindling old memories and having a short fling.
Yet, it’s not enough to prove that they want to be back to make things work.
One thing that can make sure if your ex will come back is how they deliver this chemistry.
If they use this chemistry just for breakup sex then that’s pretty ambivalent.
Check if this chemistry is linked with them being emotionally connected with you.
5. They never stated the breakup was permanent
If your ex is using this breakup to help them think and react, then they’ll let you know.
They would either state it beforehand or let you know that they need space to reflect.
Everyone needs some space and time alone to know their stance on the relationship.
If he or she still loves you then they will use this period to make themselves better.
They see this as a solution and as a chance to get back together and not end the relationship for good.
During this time, your ex won’t hold grudges or block you on any platform.
They will act neutral and won’t send any mixed signals.
6. They’re working on themselves after the breakup
If an ex wants to work on themselves then that means that they’re giving the relationship a second chance.
This is not a hidden sign if your ex will come back or not.
The moment they improve and nourish themselves or vice versa, they will be ready to start the relationship fresh.
This is pretty casual when the breakup wasn’t super bad and both of you are willing to change.
In this situation, the possibility for your ex to come back is higher than usual.
That’s due to the reason your ex chose to distance themselves.
Note: Do not mistake this with the time your ex uses No Contact.
When an ex uses No Contact they would not let you know and they would use it
more to heal from the breakup than to rekindle the relationship.
7. Your ex wants to spend more time with you
This sign is quite a tricky one. If an ex wants to get back then they want to spend time with you for good reasons.
- They might want to revive memories and make you notice that you belong together;
- They hit the dumper’s remorse stage and want to reconnect;
- They want to be more present in your life because they still love you;
All these reasons should be followed by the will of your ex to commit to the relationship.
Otherwise, wanting to spend more time means they want to be back to either boost their ego or fulfill their needs.
8. They interact more with you online
What makes an ex come back is when they notice that you’ve already moved on. That you’ve already created a new life.
When you’re all nourished by yourself and you reflect it even on social media, that’s when your ex appears.
If you have kept your distance through the No Contact rule, your ex will find a way to interact with you.
One of them is interacting with you on social media.
He or she will like your posts and even react or comment on them or on your stories.
Just know that it’s a new energy that you’ve created that attracts your ex.
Now they’re curious about you. They want to keep track of your life and check if there is a second chance for them.
Your posts even triggered their loneliness or made them reminisce.
Either way, the moment they interact there is a sign that your ex will come back after a breakup.
9. You broke up on good terms
One of the signs that you’ll get back together in the future is when you break up on good terms.
When you break up on good terms you’ll still care about each other.
Even though you’re not together, you will have a soft spot for your ex.
- You’ll care for each other’s wellbeing;
- You do not experience pain and hurt if you think about each other; As usually happens if you were a part of a toxic relationship;
These reasons will make your ex come back.
Your ex knows that if they will be back, they won’t get hurt, judged, or there wouldn’t be a second chance.
10. Your ex is still interested in your life
This is one of the most crucial signs that your ex will be back.
The moment that your ex decides to come back then they’ll ask about your day, your wellbeing, and anything in general.
Your ex wants to give you special attention and you notice that they’re becoming affectionate again.
- Your ex wants to know about your weekend plans;
- Your ex wants to know what are your life long decisions (your plans);
- They want to know if you’re dating anyone;
These are signs that your ex is not over you, yet. They’re considering getting back together.
If your ex doesn’t love you anymore, they wouldn’t insist on getting your attention again.
11. They bring up positive sides of your relationship
While researching and working with different people has taught us many things.
One of them is that holding on only to good memories prevents you from having a good reflection on your relationship.
When an ex wants to come back to you, they try to reminisce only on the good stuff.
They want to bring out the best memories to show the strength of your bond.
It’s some type of way to prove to you that they’re worth it.
They want to make you notice that there might be a chance to reconcile.
I don’t label this as a healthy way to bring an ex back. Yet, many people use it.
12. They’re regretful about their actions
Sometimes, in a relationship, you can be caught up in diverse emotions that lead you to hurt each other.
Yet, some tend to admit their flaws and work on them while others don’t.
The moment your ex decides to face you and accept their mistakes- they want to come back.
- This means that your ex is clearing their consciousness.
- While apologizing to you, they will be able to forgive themselves.
- They want either to be on good terms with you or reconsider getting back together.
Hence, you should take a closer look at their actions too. An apology without a changing behavior means nothing.
13. Your ex hasn’t dated anyone after you
If your ex hasn’t still moved on from you, this means they are avoiding dating other people.
Yet, this can be ambivalent. They could be using this time to reflect on themselves and not jump into any rebound relationship.
This doesn’t mean immediately that your ex is waiting to come back to you again.
If you’re using No Contact that means that they’re taking their time to evaluate your absence.
Hence, if your ex hasn’t cut all contact with you and hasn’t dated anyone, your ex wants to come back to you.
- An ex will take you back after not dating anyone because they want to see a change in you.
- An ex will take you back after not dating anyone because they see a future with you.
How long does it take for an ex to come back?
The period when an ex comes back differs for everyone. Not everyone goes through breakup stages the same.
Some go through pain right after the breakup whereas others choose to suppress their feelings.
The moment your ex deals with their feelings that’s the moment when they make their decision.
For some, it may take a month up to a year or more.
1. It all depends on how you both chose to deal with the breakup.
If your ex chose to hold grudges instead of healing from the breakup then this process will be very slow.
Also, your ex might not even consider coming back without sorting out their feelings first.
2. It will last as long as you work on yourself and heal.
If you focus on yourself for 6 months or even a year, that will have an impact when your ex will come back.
It’s not a guaranteed thing but as soon as you’re able to move on, you’ll be able to attract your ex.
If after the breakup you’re clingy then it will take longer for your ex to come back.
When you’re constantly in your ex’s presence, they won’t have time to miss you and reflect.
3. If you were part of a toxic relationship, it will take as long as they notice that they need you.
A narcissistic ex will be back to you when they notice they need your presence.
It will happen after a few days or even within a month. A toxic ex cannot stand by themself for too long.
They need your presence to boost their ego, to feel loved and in charge.
4. It will last until you make the first move.
If you’re the dumper or if your ex is stubborn: this is a special case for you to make the first move.
If you’re the dumper then you should know that the dumpee might be hurt by your actions.
They need some time to process the breakup and are unable to be the first ones to come.
5. If your ex can acknowledge their mistakes then it takes a very short time.
If you were on good terms after a breakup or you broke up in the heat of the moment, it will take a short time to get back.
What to do if my ex comes back?
This is the most common question when we want our ex back.
You want them back but you wonder how you should behave to not blow the chance.
Here are a few tips to follow when your ex comes back:
- Don’t rush into making instant decisions;
- Check if you will take your ex back or not;
The relationship isn’t always about love. To make it work you need compassion and communication.
Otherwise, there would be left only plain chemistry between two people.
- Ask them for the reason for coming back. Evaluate if this reason is accurate for you to reconcile the relationship.
- I know it’s hard but try to not include your emotions. If you get over-excited and emotional then you won’t use reason to reflect.
- If you don’t want to dwell on your past then tell them your decision.
- If your feelings have changed and you don’t feel the same, be transparent.
- If both of you have managed to improve yourselves then talk about how you can start as friends.
Start small, without any relationship responsibilities, and see when this will send you.
Ambiguous signs to avoid while you wonder if your ex will come!
After the breakup, it’s quite easy to mix up signs if your ex will come back or not.
Here are the top 3 signs to check out:
1. Your ex keeps unblocking and blocking you. This is a clear sign of your ex not being sure if they want to come back or not.
They might do it to send a sign to you, yet they might do it just to stir up your feelings.
2. They send you unclear text messages. If they send you breadcrumbs then most of the time is because they’re bored or feeling lonely.
If an ex wants to come back then they send a clear message, stating the reason they contacted you.
When they send a text message to apologize, ask for help, or even reminisce on good memories, they want to come back.
3. They are dating someone different from you. Many will take this as a message that they want to make you jealous.
Yet, there is no clear evidence that they want to make you jealous.
They might be exploring something different and don’t want to date the same type anymore.
One last thought!
You’ll know for sure if your ex will ever come back only if they prove their actions of wanting to come back.
The most accurate sign that you and your ex will come back is when they admit their mistakes. Add to this, the effort they make to show you they’ve changed.
Any type of relationship and breakup is different. You should take these signs as signs of high interest and will to reconcile.
Nothing is guaranteed, neither love nor rekindling it unless you and your ex have the will to improve yourselves first.
You’ve got this,
Callisto
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