Sometimes breakups are not made to last forever.
After going through the stages of a breakup, an ex will reconsider their decision- once they don’t feel certain about the breakup.
Your ex will give you signs that they want you back but these signs aren’t always easy to be noticed.
This all depends on the way your ex chooses to approach you and why they want you back.
Your ex’s approach and behavior are based on three things.
- If your ex wants you back but is scared;
- If your ex wants you to fight for the relationship;
- If your ex wants you back but is afraid of commitment;
First, let’s tackle briefly why an ex wants you back.
Why does the ex want me back?
1. They are lonely– When they’re lonely they will want you back but they won’t admit it.
They will look for different ways to contact you so they can be with you.
2. They concluded that they miss your presence and love and can’t find a better partner.
In this case, regarding the reason, they may admit it or are scared to return to the relationship.
3. They regret their decisions– The moment your ex regrets their decisions and wants you back, they would either admit it or not.
This all depends on the type of your ex and what kind of relationship you had.
4. They are trying to hinder you from moving on from them. In this case, they will check up on you and give you mixed signals.
5. They want to check if there is a second chance for them and if this relationship will work this time.
Your ex will test the waters by contacting you out of the blue.
Don’t be stuck in the cloud of despair and uncertainty. Check 15 signs your ex wants you back:
1. Your ex contacts you out of nowhere
One of the signs your ex wants you back is when they try to connect with you out of the blue.
It’s really important when an ex initiates the communication but you should check out their approach.
Checking this detail helps you to differentiate the reasons your ex is contacting you.
If an ex is totally invested in you they will try to have a deeper and longer conversation.
They contact you out of the blue because they’ve realized that they need and miss you.
2. One day your ex is in and the next day is out
This is one of the most practical signs that your ex wants you back but is scared.
One day they might approach you and ask for forgiveness.
They might even tell you that they are working on themselves, that you make them better.
The next day or a couple of days they can state almost the opposite.
They are afraid to be vulnerable again because they are afraid that they’ll be either hurt or rejected.
In this case, your ex chooses to put their guards up the moment they are afraid of going back to this relationship.
Once again, your ex might state that is better than the breakup that happened or you can just stay friends.
Unlike when being in a relationship, the hot and cold behavior is a bad sign, after the breakup is a promising sign.
After the breakup, it might look odd to you to see your ex more present than before.
They start to show more interest in you.
They are curious about you in general and what to know more.
This type of curiosity is not ambiguous or gives you mixed signals.
- They check up on you to see how you’re doing;
- They are more interested in your day and your needs;
- They offer their help whenever needed or not;
This means that your ex has still feelings for you.
They care about you, yet they won’t admit that they want you back.
Your ex is still puzzled after the breakup and might be pondering their decision.
4. They continue to plead about your forgiveness
This one is the most obvious sign. Your ex is not scared or too afraid to admit it.
They just show that they’re going through the dumper’s remorse stage and this is their decision.
They are very straightforward and show you the reasons why they chose to come back.
Now, your ex is not scared to contact you or admit their decision.
Usually, this happens when the breakup is not final and when your ex hasn’t lost attraction.
An ex would not come back if you hurt them or vice versa, they would choose to not reconnect.
5. Your ex starts to slightly flirt with you
Does my ex want me back when they flirt with me? Yes, your ex wants you back when they flirt even via text, social media, or in person.
Well flirting is a good sign even when in a relationship or after the breakup.
This means that something brought back your ex. They’re interested in you again.
Yet, you should check for the reason that they want you back.
Your ex could be flirting because they feel lonely, or their rebound relationship hasn’t worked perfectly well.
Familiar memories and feelings might have hit your ex.
This might be the reason that they suddenly start flirting with you.
It all depends on how your relationship ended and how your ex feels.
If your ex does not have pure intentions of flirting and coming back, choose to not answer.
6. They interact with you more on social media
If your ex still follows you on social media and starts to interact one day at a time, they want to leave the door open.
It’s more like a grip that keeps them back in the past but without moving forward in the future.
They might not make the first move to tell openly that they want you back.
Your ex secretly wants you back but maybe they’re afraid to go further on.
In this case, it’s better to check out for other signs if your ex wants you back.
Only liking your posts or just replying to your stories sometimes can give you mixed signs.
Check out if they want to know how you’ve been, what you’re up to, or if they choose to interact with you differently.
7. They try to connect with you on an emotional level
When an ex wants you back and wants to work on the relationship, they will work on the emotional side.
They will work hard to rebuild the emotional connection and attraction.
Usually, the dumper takes this initiative if they are done with the dumper’s remorse.
- They will overcome their stubbornness or differences to work on mutual feelings or aims.
- They start to make you feel comfortable with them. You can just be yourself with them.
When an ex doesn’t want a relationship and doesn’t want you back they will move on with their life.
If your ex has a stronger emotional connection with you than with everyone else, then they’ll want you back.
8. They turn towards you
They won’t admit that they want you back and use “needing help” as an excuse.
They won’t resist requiring your help during tough times.
If your ex is highly connected with you emotionally then they will need your support and opinion.
This goes the same for the dumper and the dumpee.
Once they’re used to needing your moral support they can’t get over that quickly.
If they turn towards you for everything and offer the same, take this as a sign that they want you back.
It means that you’re still investing in one another, but still be cautious.
Sometimes an ex would just need your help, use it, and then ghost you.
This doesn’t mean that they want you back, they just need your help.
9. They seek ways to meet you more often
When an ex wants you back they would try to get your attention in any kind of way.
They would hang out with your mutual friends, and frequent the same places as you.
If lately, you have been encountering your ex, that’s not just a coincidence.
They would even plan those meetings to seem like they were done accidentally.
In this case, they would not ask you directly to meet them.
They would cross your way just enough to make you think of them. Your ex wants you back but won’t admit it.
10. They keep tabs on you via your friends/family
It’s true that exes from some type of special connection with your friends and family.
Yet, if the breakup was terrible then an ex would keep this contact only if they want to keep the connection with you.
This is one of the signs that your ex secretly wants you. They keep in contact with you indirectly.
They keep asking your friends and family about your life and maybe your dating life.
This means that your ex is still thinking about you and is not letting you go.
11. Your ex hides the fact that they’re dating
This is one one the signs that your ex wants to get back but they’re scared.
Maybe they don’t want to hurt your feelings and they try to leave the doors open.
On the other hand, they might be puzzled and just need some time to sort out their feelings.
Will my ex want me back? This is one of the signs that your ex will want you back now or soon.
If they aren’t sure about their new relationship this means two things:
- Your ex has still feelings for you;
- Your ex is thinking of you;
12. They contact you for the most uncommon reasons
This is the most obvious and funny sign of all of the other signs.
When an ex wants you back but can’t find a way to say it, they come up with an uncommon reason.
If you weren’t keeping contact until now, they don’t have any other option to contact you.
They might ask you about where are a pair of socks that they left at your place or if your cat is doing better.
This is how they want to let you know indirectly that you’ve crossed their mind.
Keep in mind that before contacting you, they were pondering their decision.
Your ex was wondering if they should reach out to you or not.
13. They want to be friends after the breakup
If an ex who still has feelings for you chooses to stay friends no matter what, they want you back.
This way it’s easier for them to have access to you.
They would keep hoping that things would change or even if you would make the first move.
In this case, your ex just doesn’t want to finalize the breakup and cut all the communication.
If you were in a relationship with a narcissist, then they choose to stay friends because of delayed detachment.
They want you back but they don’t want to let you go on your way.
14. They never stated that this breakup was final
When your ex wants you back they would never state that they don’t want to see you ever again.
They might be hurt and fed up with the situation, yet, they don’t ask you to cut all contact.
1. Your ex doesn’t keep a distance from you.
2. They try to maintain some type of slight connection with you.
3. They are still single after the breakup.
4. Your ex still hangs out in a group with you.
When the breakup is not temporary, they don’t hold grudges.
They maintain some type of communication with you.
15. Your ex is being vulnerable with you
Vulnerability is a sign of closeness.
Your ex wants to let you know that the path is clear but something is holding them back.
They open up about their daily life activities trying to recreate that bond that you had once.
If your ex didn’t want you back, they would never open up to you.
Brene Brown considers vulnerability as a form of courage when you drop your guards down and seek meaning in life.
An ex that crosses their boundaries to create closeness, for sure wants you back.
Your ex wants to use the emotional connection to draw you back into the relationship.
What to do if my ex wants me back?
Before you decide to give your ex a chance you should ponder your decision without going back.
Getting back with an ex is risky. Things might work out or not.
In this situation, things aren’t black and white. The answer is pretty relative.
It all depends on the reason your ex wants you back and how you feel about them.
1. Don’t decide if you’re still going on a roller coaster of emotions.
It’s pretty crucial to not decide to go back if you haven’t moved on from your ex.
Either being hurt or being overwhelmed will push you to make decisions that you’ll regret later.
If you’re clinging to the past and you’re not healed from the breakup yet, you won’t be able to make a distinction.
Being influenced by your emotions, you can’t reflect on the reason that your ex wants you back.
2. Don’t mix the signs of keeping the communication because of mutual responsibilities with them wanting you back.
Your ex can contact you regarding your kids and your mutual business.
If the questions are straightforward, don’t take it as a sign that your ex wants you back.
When an ex wants you back they will show compassion and talk with you about other things.
3. Identify the reason behind your ex’s actions.
If your ex wants you back for their own needs or just to have a short fling, getting back with them won’t work.
It’s quite important if you identify the reason because later on, the relationship will fail.
In this case, you’ll end up fantasizing and being hurt.
An ex that wants to make the relationship work and wants you back would ask for forgiveness first.
The bond that is broken can’t be fixed in a blink of an eye.
4. Lastly, reflect on the reason you broke up. If the reason isn’t fixable then reconciling the relationship won’t work out.
You’ll end up doing an on-and-off relationship that will keep you stuck in the past.
If you broke up amicably, try to reconsider if you and your ex will be able to try once again.
How to know your ex wants you back?
You know that an ex wants you back when they put effort to recreate the bond between you two.
Your ex works toward this destination step by step.
If an ex wants you back for good then they would show progress slowly and constantly.
When an ex wants you back for their momentary needs then their actions will be superficial and without any support.
Before pondering your decision, check out their body language and their approach toward you.
I know you can get this right!