After a breakup, everyone goes through the phase when they have a billion questions about their ex.
You wonder what they are thinking, what they are doing, and if they still have feelings for you.
When you try to find the signs if your ex still has feelings for you you should watch their actions and not words.
That’s because they are not always obvious signs. Some choose to express their feelings freely while others keep them to themselves.
You want to make sure if your ex’s feelings for you still exist and if they’re strong enough for them to come back to you.
That depends on your relationship and how they’re perceiving the breakup.
Your ex just wants you around vs Still having feelings for you
Before jumping into signs that your ex still has feelings for you, we should make a distinction.
Sometimes the obsessive behavior of your ex or just want to be around you can be easily taken as feelings of love and care.
If your ex still talks to you like you’re still together that doesn’t mean that they still have feelings for you.
This can mean a few other things.
- They can’t be alone and need your presence.
- They need to be with you just to feed their ego.
- You didn’t set boundaries and they’re using this situation for their benefit.
- Your ex is afraid of commitment but likes intimacy.
- Your ex might be playing both sides. They might give you those things you want to hear but their actions say the opposite.
If an ex still has strong feelings for you, even if they struggle to deal with it or admit it, they will take care of you.
They will keep the connection but at the same time, they will work to improve themselves and the relationship.
They would make you feel safe again in their presence.
Here are 16 signs your ex has still feelings for you:
1. Your ex reaches out to you first
If your ex puts their guard down and swallows their pride to contact you first after the breakup, they still love you.
I know that this sign can be very confusing. Yet, there are always different reasons that your ex reaches out to you first.
If your ex reaches out to you because they love you and want to reconcile, they would give proper reasons for it.
You will be able to see that they will justify their actions.
1. First, your ex will apologize.
2. Second, they would tell you why they’re contacting you.
3. Third, there will not be breadcrumbing.
4. Fourth, you will not feel like you’re being used.
2. They try to make you jealous
One of the most obvious signs that your ex still has feelings for you is trying to make you jealous.
This is their way of expressing their feelings to you.
They might be frustrated when they see you with someone new or they constantly show their new partner to you.
I know that it’s not the best way to express love feelings but they want you to notice that they care.
They want to grab your attention somehow.
Even though, in a way, your ex tries to show you their value and what you might have lost.
Yet, this is done only to trigger you and tell you that there are still some feelings left in them.
3. Your ex tells you that they hate you
This is one of the ambivalent and weirdest signs to show love.
An ex can say that they hate you but their actions might say the contrary.
The most important thing is to pay close attention to your ex’s behavior.
They want to use reverse psychology to imply what they want.
If they make you think that they hate you, you would constantly think of them.
You would believe that you already lost your ex.
Men and women act this way because they are too proud or have a great ego to tell that they still love you.
Note: If your ex’s words match their actions when they tell you they hate you, then it’s better to stay away.
If they make hate posts about you, talk bad about you with other people, and threaten you then this isn’t reverse psychology.
An ex that truly loves you would say that they hate you but still be there for you, not talk bad about you and make sure that you’re ok.
4. They still keep in contact with you
Even when a relationship doesn’t work, an ex that loves you will want to always be in touch.
If your ex still has feelings for you they will keep checking up on you so they can’t lose track.
Deep down they don’t want either you or them to move on.
They know their mistakes but they don’t want to lose you.
They either keep contacting you from time to time or ask you to just be friends.
When they truly love you, they might keep you waiting around or show their feelings.
It all depends on how they can express their feelings.
It’s up to you to set your boundaries and decide if you want to continue this situationship or move on.
5. Your ex is still interested in your love/dating life
One of the signs that your ex is still in love with you is when they are involved in your dating life.
It doesn’t mean that they might only ask you directly if you’re dating anyone.
They will try to ask your friends, coworkers, or even your family. They would do anything to get the information.
When you ask yourself if my ex loves me, you should ask how strong these feelings are.
You can test if your ex still loves you by reflecting on this situation.
Check if your ex has been trying to get you back for some time after the breakup.
If your ex has been asking but at the same time trying to connect with you emotionally and being close to you, that means love.
That means that your ex has still feelings and is trying to reconnect and fix their mistakes.
Otherwise, if they constantly just ask and do nothing, they’re just nosey.
6. They still keep your photos on social media or in their house
You know that someone loves you when they’re not ready to forget the past.
Someone who has lost feelings for you would delete your photos so they can turn a new page.
Whereas, someone who still is not over you yet, they will keep holding on to memories.
Those pictures can symbolize your relationship and the time you had together.
Still, someone can take down a few photos and keep others.
It all depends on how your ex navigates or operates with social media.
7. They want to make the relationship work again
This is one of the most obvious and powerful signs that an ex still has feelings for you.
Yet, you should keep an eye out if your ex tries to prove to you that they have changed.
They would genuinely apologize and come up with solutions on how they think that the relationship will work.
I know that sometimes this might sound impossible.
If an ex wants to be back with you they would show their progress step by step.
When an ex just implies that they have changed and do nothing about it, they want you back for their needs or their interest.
8. They still care about you
An ex would still love and care about you even if the relationship didn’t work or you ended up on good terms.
If an ex still cares about you they would keep a positive communication with you.
- They don’t act weird if they see you or ignore you.
- They will slightly like your posts or even interact with you.
- They make an effort to meet you more often.
- Your ex might slightly flirt with you in person or via texting/social media.
Once you were a significant part of one another even though you weren’t compatible.
9. Your ex keeps reminiscing on good times
One of the signs that he or she still loves you after the breakup is holding on to good memories.
Your ex holds on to the past or the memories because they love how those made them feel.
Nostalgia is that feeling that keeps you in the past.
The psychologist Krystine Batcho states that nostalgia is connected with times that were simpler, and better, and you enjoyed it.
Your ex would do anything to remind you of those memories.
They would either post about it on social media or they would mention it as they speak to you or your friends.
10. They have a hard time moving on
When an ex still has feelings for you, it isn’t always about expressing it in the most positive form.
Expressing feelings of love can also come out in a very negative way. But, hey, it’s still love.
They would do anything to be in your presence.
If they cannot do it, then they would choose to erase their pain with alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling.
- Other than that, they would express their feelings by being angry at you.
- They would hurt your feelings.
- They would accuse you of things that you didn’t do.
They are drowning in their own emotions too, but can’t explain themselves in a better way than this.
Note: You need to make the difference between these actions and having a toxic ex.
11. They have crazy mood swings
When an ex has crazy mood swings after the breakup, they still have feelings about you.
It means that they are still processing the breakup and their feelings.
One day they may be the happiest person on earth whereas the other day they are sad or angry.
Your ex is still affected by the breakup.
They are still attached to you and they can’t stay stable.
This is more evident in the first stages of the breakup.
12. Your ex says that he/she still loves you
You shouldn’t be convinced that your ex still loves you if they just declare it that way.
When your ex says he still loves you it doesn’t always mean that way.
If these words aren’t followed by their actions then they would take another turn.
- They might be testing the waters. They are checking if there’s a second chance for them.
- They might love the idea of you but not you.
- They might love you but aren’t ready to be back or rekindle the relationship.
When an ex truly loves you they match their actions with their words.
13. They are there to support you emotionally
If an ex chooses to still support you even after the breakup, that means they still love you.
In this case, it isn’t just about the words “I love you”.
An ex that supports you emotionally still offers you genuine encouragement, reassurance, and compassion.
All these elements are the ones that complete the puzzle of loving someone.
It takes a lot for someone to be emotionally connected with you even after the breakup.
This usually happens when you broke on good terms or decided to stay friends.
If your breakup was messy, it’s hard for your ex or even you to support one another emotionally.
14. They don’t want you to use No Contact
An ex doesn’t like the fact that you’re using No Contact because they still like you.
They want to be in your presence even after the breakup.
If an ex chose to move on and their feelings changed, they wouldn’t care if you used this rule.
The moment you enter the No Contact phase, you cut all the contact with you.
They would either talk to their friends about this. Also, they would constantly try to communicate with you on other platforms.
15. Your ex doesn’t want to stay friends
One of the reasons that an ex doesn’t want to stay friends is they still have feelings for you.
They feel like they can’t set boundaries when it comes to you.
If one can’t control their feelings towards someone they love, they choose to stay away.
Staying friends will just torture them and they would feel uncomfortable.
Since your ex can’t get the love they desire, they choose to disconnect.
16. They still keep in touch with your friends/family
There are a couple of reasons that an ex chooses to stay in contact with your friends and family.
If your ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, or married ex is still in love with you they want to keep an indirect kind of communication.
How to tell if my ex still loves me? In this case, they constantly search for ways to be in your sight.
They work on themselves as they don’t want to cut all contact with you.
In this situation, they observe the situation from far away. They’re checking on you but indirectly.
How to maintain the situation if your ex still likes/loves you?
How you react when your ex still likes or loves you depends on how you feel at that moment.
It all depends on how you see yourself in this relationship and if there is a bright future.
1. Before making any type of decision make sure that your ex’s feelings are honest and real.
Make sure that your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend still loves you based on their approach and attraction.
These two elements can’t vanish in a blink of an eye.
You might know that your ex still loves you if the intensity of their feelings is followed up by their actions.
- The conversations last longer.
- These conversations aren’t only centered around your ex or their needs.
2. If they tell you that they love you but aren’t ready to commit, you shouldn’t consider going back.
Going back with your ex won’t work because after some time they will repeat the same mistakes.
If your ex isn’t working on this issue or any other then they are stuck in the same space.
They would fantasize and tell you that they’ve changed.
If your ex does this then soon the relationship will start to fall off again.
3. If they use hate as a tool to express love then it’s better to start using No Contact.
This rule will give you the chance to distance yourself and allow yourself to reflect differently.
You won’t be constantly exposed to their pressure.
4. If you don’t feel the same about your ex is better to leave the past in the past.
If your relationship ended on good terms then you can let them know by a simple conversation or text.
If your relationship was not stable and your breakup was messy, you can do two things:
~You can choose to even confront them.
~You can choose to cut off contact with them.
Mixed signs that should be avoided:
There are a few signs that might be served to you as signs of your ex still having feelings for you.
Be careful, because these situations are tricky.
1. When your ex-drunk texts or drunk calls you.
It doesn’t mean that an ex still loves you if they suddenly drunk texts or calls you.
Most of the time this is a momentary feeling because they’re feeling nostalgic and emotional.
We cannot say that those aren’t true feelings. Shortly, they aren’t long-lasting feelings.
In this case, the target is your ex’s feelings. By calling or texting you they want to make themselves feel better.
2. When your ex blocks and unblocks you.
Once again, this screams I need you to notice me. If an ex blocks and unblocks you, they just want your attention.
They might think of you but that doesn’t mean that your ex is still in love with you.
Your ex might have been missing your company and presence to upgrade themselves.
How to know if your ex still loves you?
You will know if an ex still loves you if they still care about you or if their mood is a swinging pendulum.
There isn’t always a positive way to express the feelings of love.
This all depends on your ex’s personality and how things ended.
If they’re rejected and the breakup was bad they would use anger and hate at times, to tell they still have feelings for you.
When the breakup was mutual, oftentimes they approach you differently. They care for your wellbeing and make sure you’re ok.
Allow yourself to heal yourself first, before making any assumptions.