Establishing trust in a relationship isn’t an easy task. Though once established, the relationship gets movie-like from there on.
Do you think you have this crucial element in your relationship?
Let’s find out together through this article!
What is loyalty? What’s the role of it in a relationship?
Loyalty is defined as a feeling of commitment and being faithful to a person. Is the trust that creates a strong bond of reliance on each other.
Along with faithfulness, they play a great role in creating commitment and making a relationship healthy and stable.
It’s a topic that has been ignored by psychology for a long time and has failed to be seen as a moral construct.
A study done by a group of psychologists on marriage and divorce concluded the most common reason for failed marriages, and a high percentage of divorces was the lack of loyalty and faithfulness.
According to Dr. John Gottman – The Gottman Institute – in his work “3 phases of love,” the last phase of love is the building of trust and loyalty.
Another great study on what makes a marriage work found that of all the factors that maintain a relationship, the most important ones are loyalty and commitment.
What about the signs of loyalty in a relationship?
1. You do your best to not disappoint one another.
The feeling of disappointment toward your partner is painful. In one way or another, we all have experienced it.
Loyalty makes you think of your partner before deciding on a matter so that you avoid hurting them because, in turn, that would hurt you as well.
2. You put each other first, every time.
It comes naturally in your relationship to put your partner first. Prioritizing your partner is the first step stemming from loyalty in a relationship:
- You put each other’s needs before other things in your life;
- You consider each other’s feelings before making decisions;
- You choose each other over temporary pleasures in life.
3. There is no fear of expressing emotions.
When you aren’t sure about a relationship, you are scared to express your love.
In a healthy relationship, loyalty brings safety and vice versa. Hence, expressing your love and other emotions to your partner comes naturally.
You aren’t scared of your effort being misused, or taken for granted because you know your partner feels the same about you.
4. You don’t resent each other.
Resentment can easily take a toll on your heart and your love. Loyalty is known to hinder resentment.
Even in times of arguments, when you are loyal to your partner, you don’t resent them, instead, you find ways to work things out together. It is hard to hold grudges with someone you’re in love with.
5. You respect each other’s boundaries.
Respect in a relationship is crucial and it goes without saying.
Boundaries are mandatory in a relationship, and that’s why you also need to respect them. A loyal and loving partner always respects your boundaries.
A loyal partner never questions your boundaries. They instinctively respect them.
5. You became each other’s home.
Every person needs support and a hand that helps. Loyalty comes along with support.
Supporting each other helps you connect more with each other. Especially when one is going through a hard time.
That’s what links loyalty with support. You automatically are available for your partner, the moment that you think they need you, and vice versa.
6. Your secrets and promises are kept between you.
You can fully trust one another. That signals loyalty.
You feel free to share secrets because you’ve shown your loyalty and trust in one another for quite a while now.
This sense of security grows as you prove yourself you’re worthy of each other’s trust and promises.
7. You protect one another.
Protection doesn’t always mean physical matters. Of course, you need to take care of them, especially during sickness. But the context we are talking about here is to protect them from emotional harm.
It’s about the responsibility you have and feel for one another’s well-being.
You defend each other when needed, you’re there for one another, and you know for a fact that you’ve got each other’s back on everything.
8. Honesty rules your relationship.
A loyal relationship is ruled by honesty. You and your partner don’t hesitate to share everything and always tell the truth.
Honesty within a pair shows that trust is established. And trust is part of loyalty.
When you feel free to share everything in your relationship it shows that you have reached the stage where your relationship is loyal.
9. There’s no judgment.
Judging your partner is a toxic and sure way to kill the relationship.
In a loyal relationship, you and your partner feel comfortable to share things without fear of judgment.
That’s because you both have worked on creating a safe space for each other and have proved your loyalty over time.
This is an important level of trust and love, sharing everything with your partner, and not being seen differently.
10. You don’t hide things from each other.
In a healthy loyal relationship, there’s a fine balance between individuality and openness.
You have your personal space respected, yet you don’t hide anything from one another.
You give your phones to one another without fear, be it getting caught doing something or fearing that your partner may misuse your trust and check your phone without your permission.
11. There’s a deep appreciation for each other’s values and principles.
Another great sign of loyalty is respect and appreciation for each other’s values and principles.
They don’t have to necessarily be the same, though in a way, they match perfectly.
Loyalty shows in such things too. You’re accepted and respected as you are despite the differences in values or principles.
12. You don’t pour your issues into your social circle.
You know your relationship is special and has a high level of loyalty when any issue you have together, is dealt with within the relationship.
It is normal to have problems and arguments, and it’s beautiful when you can handle those alone.
And especially beautiful when you don’t complain to other people about your partner behind or in front of their back.
When you allow a third person to handle your relationship conflicts (excluding a therapist), it’s going to cause more issues. The best way to handle these situations is always between you and your partner.
13. You don’t make big decisions on your own.
Every big decision is taken together between a couple who is loyal to each other.
Decisions that determine the flow of life and relationships, like moving cities, changing apartments, and purchasing a car are things that loyal partners discuss with each other beforehand.
14. The focus lies on improving your lives together, as a team.
Loyalty is shown in different ways, but mostly is shown when a couple works hard, to have a future together. That includes planning and saving, and talking with each other about what they want and what they expect.
The focus of a loyal relationship is improving, and having:
- Relationship satisfaction;
- Joy and love in the relationship;
- Goals together as a couple;
- Support from one another in good and in bad.
15. You feel peace within the connection you built together.
Loyalty isn’t considered just trust and commitment.
It’s also the peace you feel when you are around your partner. The connection that you build with each other, and the intimate moments, have loyalty as their foundation.
You know that even in the hard moments, you have someone you count on to voice your problems, and to feel heard and loved. That’s the beauty of a loyal relationship.
16. You never found yourselves in situations of temptation or cheating.
Infidelity is the killer of trust and loyalty. A relationship that is built on strong feelings of loyalty is never found in situations where one is tempted to cheat.
A loyal partner always evades situations that can make their partner uncomfortable.
In a loyal relationship, infidelity is out of the picture!
17. You have comfort and stability in the relationship.
Life, in general, is quite dynamic. We often find ourselves in stressful situations and even have days where we feel sad or depressed.
Then, there’s your partner. Your home. The one that makes you feel at ease and never alone.
That’s the beauty of having a loyal and loving relationship.
You know that no matter what, you will go back to an open heart and chest for you to lay on.
Loyalty maintains peace in the relationship, and you find stability and comfort in the embrace of your loving partner.
Love,
Callisto.
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