Some women like it when their man is possessive and jealous.
People often interpret it as a sign of love.
While a little jealousy is normal, too much of it is a sign of insecurity and should be looked at as a major red flag.
To define whether your boyfriend is jealous or not, here are 9 undeniable signs:
1. He always compares himself to your male friends
When a guy is jealous and has low-self esteem, he will constantly compare himself with his guy friends or other guys.
Possibly, he doubts that you are hiding something and is afraid you might replace him with your guy friend and spend a lot of time talking to him.
He starts mocking or even calling them names, only elevating himself!
- Man, I got so much more bicep in me than your little friend!
- I heard he got fired from his last job for being dumb
- I bet I am taller and much more handsome than he is.
When a girl gets jealous, she does the opposite. She befriends them.
To draw the difference and act according to it, a relationship coach will make a certain plan for you.
2. He is always blowing your phone when you go out
If you say you’re going out, he always wants to know who it’s with, where, when you’re coming home, etc.
He, constantly wants you to text to reassure him you’re with the same group of people you left and might even “accidentally” call to get proof out of you.
He asks for your friends to say “Hi” so he believes you’re not lying.
He fears you are cheating on him, this shows how possessive he could be.
Asking when you’ll be back is one thing, interrogating you like he’s a controlling dad is jealous and creepy.
3. He interferes in your personal life
A main sign of a jealous boyfriend is his aim of making you live in a bubble.
He interferes a lot in your life and you feel like you’re a puppet on strings.
He doesn’t let you go anywhere by yourself or choose to do activities and things that you like.
According to Samantha Burns, a Licensed Counselor, and Dating Coach, you could ask for space by drawing boundaries and defining your rights.
4. He always keeps an eye on you
A jealous boyfriend tries to change your mind and make you change your decisions.
Think about that carefully. Just like how you should not be able to command him, he should not be able to command you either.
He thinks bars and clubs are places to find a one-night stand and occasional sex partners, and he fears you will do just that!
He picks up fights every time you mention going out.
Again trust issues come to play here, he doesn’t want anyone noticing your presence point blank.
5. He swings at other guys for looking or touching you
If you’re dating a jealous boyfriend, he will exaggerate any interaction that you have with other men.
His malicious mind tells him that you could cheat and leave them for any guy that approaches your aura.
In this situation, he might emotionally or physically abuse you or other guys.
If you find yourself in any abusive situation, don’t hesitate to seek help from therapy and reflect on your relationship.
6. He is Micromanaging your life
Micromanaging means he subtly makes adjustments to his liking about certain habits he doesn’t like in your life.
A good partner should never make you feel bad for being you.
In the past, I noticed how anytime I wanted to ditch certain plans my boyfriend made, out for his sake, Id go along even if I did not want to!
When you are being micromanaged you start to doubt yourself. You think that you’re not good for him or that you don’t deserve him.
7. He future fakes so he has it easier to keep you to himself
He makes promises that he can’t keep just to keep other men away from you.
In the meantime saying “when we get married” is a grand promise, he uses to soothe his way into getting what they want.
In reality, he is just insecure seeing you around other men and avoids you being in any type of situation that stirs jealousy in them.
According to Dr. Margaret Rutherford when your boyfriend gaslights you he tries to undermine your sense of value or worth.
8. He emotionally abuses you
One of the main signs of a jealous boyfriend is blaming you for everything.
He blames you for cheating, cheating, lying, not loving him enough, and hurting him.
And when you choose to confront him, he accuses you of exaggerating and making the situation worse.
He plays the victim and makes you the villain of this story.
So, emotional abuse is not something easy to deal with. If you’re going through this situation:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233);
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline;
9. He always mentions your past and wants to know about it
He is obsessed and suspicious about knowing all about you, and not in a healthy way.
He might ask for details about your past relationships. He’s interested if you still have contact with your exes or not.
He makes sure that you don’t have any type of connection with them.
If you wish to continue the relationship, you should have an honest conversation regarding your past.
Dealing with a partner that digs a lot about your past and accuses you is important to let him know how this makes you feel.
Draw your boundaries and never accept a toxic relationship. Seek help from a therapist or a counselor to know exactly what step to take.
Is his jealousy acceptable or is he being overprotective?
His jealousy is acceptable when there is the right amount, it is not bad and unhealthy from time to time.
But when he’s using his jealousy to be possessive, he won’t let you live your life.
You’ll feel that you’re drowning or you’re stuck in a pit.
1. It is normal to get jealous when guys flirt with you.
Or you talk to other males. Naturally, he will begin to wonder and ask about who they are, so he knows if he should consider it as a threat.
He is honest and tells if it bothers him, that is why he is asking instead of giving you the silent treatment.
2. He is not dependent on you.
If you go on a trip, and he doesn’t insist on coming along or spamming you with texts to check up on him.
Instead, he understands you have your own time but still in a cute way says “ I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, although I wish I was there to experience it together”
3. He respects your personal space.
Even when you don’t see him as quite often as usual, he doesn’t go crazy and get freaked up about it.
He knows you both need alone time and pay attention to things you enjoy doing alone while respecting each other’s personal space.
He becomes possessive when things take a wrong turn and when their jealousy is harmful to your well-being.
His behavior might become possessive when:
4. He demands to control or even threatens you.
If you do not listen to what and how he says to things for certain things, he will go to extremes and even use manipulation and gaslight tactics on you.
He will always point his finger at you, accusing you are not making effort, lying, and even cheating, just to guilt trip you.
5. He Tries to isolate you.
He always stirs up arguments when you wanna go out, “You know I can not stand you around other guys,” he says.
You would know that you have a jealous boyfriend if he does not like you hanging out with your friends, especially without him.
He acts needy and clingy and even stalks you anytime you go out.
Is a jealous boyfriend a red flag?
A jealous boyfriend is a red flag when he starts stepping over you and acts on his insecurities.
But not all jealousy comes from a place of insecurity, and oftentimes a little bit of it is fundamental for the relationship.
It is a romantic behavior when we fear losing something or someone we love, it only becomes a red flag when he acts too much on it.
According to Amy Kim, a clinical psychologist, a little jealousy is okay but it becomes an issue when the person acts on it and invades your privacy.
Both parties need to communicate openly about their insecurities and anxiety.
Like other red flags, jealousy isn’t the deal breaker, but it is a warning sign.
Too much of it can turn into violent, possessive, and controlling behavior.
How should you handle a jealous boyfriend?
You should handle a jealous boyfriend according to how much his behavior impacts you negatively and according to his attachment style..
~Try to have a chat with him and get to the root of the problem.
Is it insecurity of his? Or does he want to spend more time with you because you have not been giving him attention?
Ask questions, and try to understand where is this coming from and what you both can do to ease it.
~Make adjustments if okay with you
If your partner is anxiety attached, meaning they demand as much time together as they can.
The best approach to this is to give your partner physical touch. It will give them the reassurance they need at the moment.
~Create a healthy understanding bond
Any threats to the relationship can be a cause of jealousy, that is why building trust and faithfulness is important.
Trustworthy people do not cheat or lie about their whereabouts, and if you both stand on these key opponents your relationship will grow and bloom.
~Recognize If his jealousy is violent
Jealousy with reason is understandable, but no reason at all it is a red flag.
Especially if the jealousy includes extreme anger, unrealistic expectations, and accusations.
Tell him you will refuse to be with him if he cannot control his impulse to torment you in this way.
Now, this is a clear sign to leave and get out of the relationship, before things worsen and you get stuck.
~Find a support group
After you have tried to define what’s wrong with him and if there’s something you can do, you need to prioritize yourself.
Many women lose themselves in the process of trying to change or understand a jealous boyfriend.
So, practice self-love while attending a group or a gathering of people who share the same issues as you.
In conclusion: Defining the main signs of a jealous boyfriend!
One of the main signs of a jealous boyfriend is making you feel insecure and unloved at some amount.
He might put you down because he’s afraid that he might lose you and he wants to manipulate you.
To help your boyfriend overcome his jealous streaks, have a heart-to-heart talk with him.
Tell him how his suspicions, allegations, and distrust are affecting you negatively, anxious, and not loveworthy.
Also, talk about how both of you can be more trusting and trustworthy.
Communication is the key to all problems and plans.
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