Decoding a man’s behavior isn’t easy, especially so when we consider how different each person is. At times dating can get confusing, it can seem like something very unfamiliar and unknown.
At first, it’s about “Does he like me?”, then it slowly goes to “Are we a thing, am I being pursued by him or not?” Stage after stage, the questions get more and more difficult to answer.
Keeping in mind that it’s not all about how to make him like you, it’s about how compatible and how suitable you are for one another, we’ll together check the 18 signs he is pursuing you:
1. He’s putting effort & time when it comes to you and your connection
After you asked yourself “Is he pursuing me?”, the “Is he putting effort & time into the connection?” is next.
When a man pursues a woman, he’s willing to put effort, time into her and the process of building the connection with her. It’s a way of setting the base for a long and healthy relationship with pretty romantic nuances to it.
He’s not going to pursue you if he doesn’t like you – Keep an eye on these to know if he likes you:
– He told you he likes you;
– He’s playful with you;
– He pays genuine compliments to you;
– He asks you questions & shares his story with you;
– In a room full of people, he’s only got eyes and ears for you, etc.
If he shows those signs, he’s smitten by you! It’s a man’s way of manifesting his sympathy and attraction towards you, with or without him knowing he’s doing so.
3. He gets joy when he sees you joyous
When he’s into you and he’s got the intention to pursue you, your mood will affect him big time! Your joy becomes his, and he does put effort to make you happy.
Not just laugh or smile, no; I’m talking about the genuine joy that makes you feel so content and grateful.
4. He’s got something special in every date
This will be one of his many ways to show your importance to him, to show his ‘material’ that’s worth having you by his side.
No, it’s not a show-off. If he’s trying to pursue you because he saw and heard you, then he’ll do it out of genuine. It’ll be his way of showing appreciation and gratitude.
5. He plans things (i.e. dates, meetings, activities)
When a guy is pursuing you he’ll plan things; whether ‘things’ for you mean just meeting somewhere, a date, or an activity you want to do together.
He cares, he’s smitten, he plans.
6. He’s showing you he’s listening: he seems to know what you like and what you don’t
“Showing” is on purpose here. He’ll show you he’s listening by the way he remembers things you tell him, by the way, he avoids doing something you told him that annoys you, by the way, he does something you told him you love when someone does it for/to you.
He’ll listen out of curiosity and out of the desire to see beneath your surface.
Besides his affection, care, and appreciation, he’ll find a way to show his protective skills to you too. You know he’s protective (in a positive sense) when he:
– He feels at home a lot of times;
– He shows concern when you don’t feel well;
– He points out something that’s not healthy for you you (when you’re not noticing it);
– He takes care of your needs, etc.
Note: Protective doesn’t mean he gets to be this hero from the common fantasy we built as a society. Protectiveness is shown in even the smallest, simplest gestures, words, and actions.
8. He lets you know(directly or indirectly) that he’s looking for commitment
When he has strong feelings for you, somehow you just know his intention, you know he’s looking for commitment; He’s in for the long haul and everything that comes with the connection.
Men who are aware of what they want, in this case, commitment, are usually the ones who pursue someone, and the ones who try to build relationships based on healthy foundations.
9. He’s touchy-touchy
His body language will show his interest towards you, but also his touch. When he’s feeling the feelings he’ll be touchy:
– His hand on your back while you’re crossing the street,
– His hand holding yours,
– Playing with your hair, etc.
10. A bit of jealousy in the soup
When he’s ready to start pursuing you, he’ll be thinking of exclusivity too (if a monogamous relationship is what you’re both looking for). He won’t look outside your connection, hence he’ll expect the same from you.
If he notices other men trying to pursue you, or just show themselves off to you, get ready for a little bit of jealousy mixed up the soup.
11. He’s patient and respectful especially when it comes to sex
Patience and respect are among the signs he’s pursuing you. Him being patient and respectful means he’s at the very least trying to understand, see and hear you.
It’s one of the many ways he manifests attraction for you: through patience and respect.
12. He indirectly shows how good of a provider he is – it’s in his genes
It’s a primitive instinct that still lives on in men to this day and age: providing. He’ll unconsciously show you how good of a provider he is through paying for dinner, or picking you up when you need a ride, or just holding your bag when you’re tying your shoelaces.
13. He keeps in touch and cares to know how you’re doing
If he’s trying to pursue you his contact will be consistent. If he can’t see you every day of the week, he’ll at least try to contact you through phone; He’ll text or call you pretty often.
Ghosting is out of the picture and is absolutely not an option unless he’s following some advice that tells him to do so to pursue you.
14. You’re important to him and he’s shown it to you: he’s there
Again, it has to do with his instinct and his biological, primitive programming. He’ll intuitively want to show you how good at providing he is, that he’s there for you when you need him.
He’ll hold the door for you even though he knows you’re capable of doing so yourself. He’ll be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, when you need advice, or when you need someone to listen. You’re one of his priorities.
15. You’ve been spending a lot of time together
When he’s trying to pursue you, you’ll be spending a lot of time together because he enjoys your company, your presence, and what you present as a person; Another sign marked!
16. He seems to be very curious about who you are & what makes you joyful
If you feel like he’s pursuing you slowly, it’s because he’s curious and he feels he’s got to know and see more of you.
Notice how during the time you’re spending together he asks questions, how he listens to you, how he behaves with you; it’s slow but it’s progress.
17. He makes himself a safe place where you can be your true self
This is not just so that he can show how good of a provider he is. When he wants to pursue you, he’ll do anything to make you feel at home with him, to make you feel comfortable to be exactly who you are around him.
18. It’s in his eyes, his behavior, and his words
You can tell he’s into you by the way he looks at you, the way he treats you, what he does and what he says to/for you. It’s all in his eyes, his behavior, and his words. He’s romantic!!
If he wants you he will pursue you – How true is it?
We’ve heard the “If a man wants you, he will make it happen” quite often, but how true is it, and how strongly does it stand as a statement?
Men are pretty goal-driven/oriented beings, so that is partially true. Generally, if a man is interested in you he will pursue you. If he thinks you’re the one, he’ll do anything for you to be in his arms, we’re talking sacrifices and fights here!
The very first stages of dating are especially exciting for him, so you’ll notice his attempts to make the connection stronger between you.
If he’s in love, or at least just curious about you, then he’ll shoot his shot for you. He’ll do what it takes to pursue you and have you part of his days.
Are there any exceptions though?
Yes, yes there are exceptions. A basic, general model of a man would do the “interested=pursuing” however there are a lot of factors that can have an impact on the way he sees situations and on the way he takes actions on things.
Here’s what could affect his mindset:
– Him being insecure, and with low self-esteem (because of past traumas, unhealed childhood wounds, etc),
– Him feeling inferior towards you,
– Him having social anxiety,
– Him being immature, etc.
Keep in mind each of us, men and women, are different from one another and each of us carries our unique stories differently, though, don’t let that be an excuse to tolerate behavior that causes you to worry and stress.