Answering the big question: Can you make a player fall in love with you?
The strange thing about players is that Hollywood has been portraying them in a way that made them seem charming and ‘savable’.
Hence when we encounter them in reality we automatically see them as magnetic. They are, is fragile boys that got hurt and never got to recover from it.
They avoid being vulnerable at all costs, hence they are insensitive toward your feelings.
Are you dating a player?
Defining the meaning of a Player in a relationship – A player explained psychologically!
A Player is a person that dates multiple people (without them knowing about it), doesn’t have consideration towards your feelings, and will tell you anything it takes to ‘play’ you into bed. He’s not looking for commitment but will play games to make you think he is.
According to Psychology Today, the term ‘Player’ is misused quite frequently in our society.
The truth about players is that they’ve been emotionally hurt in past experiences either from their childhood or a past romantic relationship.
A player can also be explained with the Mother complex – a theory by Carl Jung according to whom this way of dating is called Don Juanism.
According to this theory, the person with the mother complex involved in Don Juanism–in heterosexual connections–unconsciously looks for his mother in the women he dates.
Generally, the mother presents a caring, providing, and nurturing figure.
The theory suggests that a man that hasn’t felt loved by his mother in his childhood will seek comfort in other women he dates.
If he got hurt by a past romantic experience with a woman, he will block himself emotionally to not open up to let anyone in.
This is where the defense mechanisms come in. In a player, the defense mechanisms are highly enhanced and advanced.
The role of defense mechanisms is to keep him safe from feeling hurt, vulnerable, humiliated, or other negative feelings.
Some of the most common defense mechanisms in players tend to be projection, displacement, denial, sublimation, reaction formation, etc.
They’re consciously and unconsciously dealing with problems and trying to avoid getting hurt at all costs.
So, a player in depth is just as fragile as anyone else is.
Finding out if he’s playing you – The 16 ultimate signs he’s a player!
1. He’s got this unbelievable ability to make you feel insecure.
Part of the mind games of a player is establishing power and control within the connections. He does that by making you feel inferior and insecure.
A player will give you the feeling that you’re competing with a line of other women to earn his attention and time.
He presents himself to you–as superior–and he approaches you in a way to make you feel inferior to his presence.
By making you feel insecure he establishes importance in your life, making it easier for him to play you and your head.
2. He doesn’t put effort into the connection unless it’s about sex.
A player doesn’t invest time, money, or emotions into his connections. The only time he’ll invest anything it takes will be if sex is on the table.
He’s the kindest when he’s around, but doesn’t notice you when out in public.
He wants sex and sexting, but he avoids at all costs the emotional connection or the bonding that sex comes with.
3. His words don’t match his actions.
A player wants something from you and he’ll do anything he can to get it.
Part of what he’s capable of, unfortunately, is lying and promising you empty promises as well.
He keeps you longer in the relationship by giving you false hope that things will change and that his behavior will, eventually, get better.
This makes you more vulnerable to his presence and manipulation tactics.
4. He guilt-trips you.
The guilt-tripping becomes more significantly obvious when you try solving an issue about something he did that hurt you.
The debate starts, he plays the victim, gets angry, and accuses you of accusing him of ‘such a thing’.
You’re left feeling guilty, confused, and sorry for bringing it up.
Instead of solving the issue and feeling supported, you’re manipulated to think “I can’t believe I’m so selfish!”
5. He avoids defining your connection.
When it comes to “What are we? Are we a couple, friends, or friends with benefits?” things are left unclear when he responds with “There’s no need for labels.”
He might even continue it even further to make you feel guilty for ‘putting him in such a position’.
Defining the relationship won’t give him the freedom to do what he wants and at the end of the day say “We’re not in a relationship.”
He wants to be discreet, has multiple people at his disposal when he needs them, and does not get attached to any of them to avoid getting hurt.
6. He vanishes from time to time.
This is part of his manipulation tactics to induce fear within you. When he vanishes from your life for a while he makes you eager for his presence.
Once he returns he rewards your insecurities, making you feel the need to impress him more so that he doesn’t leave again.
This way you’re left accepting unacceptable behavior at the cost of his presence.
7. He makes you feel needy.
Another one of the signs you’re dating a player is his enormous need for space.
Needing space and “me time” is normal. In fact, experts of Eugene Therapy consider space in relationships crucial to establish a sense of individuality.
However, you often find yourself feeling needy despite the small amount of time you two spend together.
The way he talks makes you feel like you’ve been suffocating him with your neediness although you didn’t ask much from him.
8. He got cold after sex.
He gets cold after sex, and you’re left wondering about what you did wrong, or what you said wrong.
This can be explained by his incapability of connection, and his fear of building a connection which then exposes him to vulnerability.
Sex is also a way of connecting, it involves a lot of intimacy and vulnerability, and a player will not be capable of handling it.
He goes cold right away so that he can avoid it.
9. He’s jealous and doesn’t seem to ever trust you.
His mind is chaotic and his guard is up. His defense mechanisms give him a different view of reality to protect his ego.
One of the defense mechanisms called projection causes him to be controlling, jealous, and untrusting of you.
He projects what he does onto you–he thinks you’re doing the same things he’s doing.
On the other hand, this gives him a sense of power over you making you focus more on the impression you’re giving him rather than his actions toward you.
10. He’s hot and cold with you.
Many players tend to have similarities with narcissists due to the similarity in their use of manipulation tactics.
Acting hot and cold yields him power within the relationship because this behavior keeps you on your toes and eager for his presence.
He gives you the best he’s got and that gives you hope and sparks. That hope turns into fear and despair the moment he’s gone.
Now you’re willing to tolerate anything just to have another glimpse of the ‘best he’s got’.
11. You never see him on the weekends.
He uses his weekends for other things or other people and you’re never part of those activities.
Spending time with one another can lead to knowing more about one another which then leads to a connection, and a player can’t afford that emotionally.
He’s likely to spend his weekends with other people he’s dating or to do things that don’t involve you just to prevent an emotional connection from forming.
12. He’s very protective of his phone.
A player has multiple connections with multiple people at once. That might make his phone buzz more frequently than another person you might know.
He likes his “privacy” respected and gets very mad if you lay your eyes on his phone when he’s using it.
His phone is loaded with people, pictures, dating apps, social media, and other things you shouldn’t see.
To avoid uncovering his game, he protects his phone at all costs.
13. It’s been a while and he hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family.
Part of a healthy relationship, or say, a normal relationship, is introducing one another to important people in your lives.
That is part of the commitment, it’s a sign of care, and it’s another step to strengthen the relationship. A player doesn’t want any of this.
He doesn’t want to get too involved because that would threaten his position in your life and the other people he’s dating.
14. He’s disrespectful of your boundaries.
Another one of the most significant signs of a player is his disrespect of you and your boundaries.
He doesn’t take a “No” for an answer, and he doesn’t mind if he steps on a boundary you clearly communicated.
You’re constantly pressured into decisions you don’t want to make.
He’s self-righteous and gives himself the right to step on your boundaries without questioning his actions.
15. He’s passive-aggressive.
Instead of being open to discussions, he chooses to indirectly express his discontent or frustration.
He might give you the silent treatment and let you be confused and “figure it out yourself” the reason why he’s mad at you today.
This allows him to make you go out of your way to satisfy his needs and move your focus to something else other than “Is he deserving of my attention?”
16. His barriers seem unbreakable.
No matter how hard you try to break the barriers and reach him emotionally, a player is as superficial as a person can get.
He’s careful around you and he doesn’t, under any condition, want you to see his vulnerable side.
This is due to his subconscious fear of that vulnerability being used against him and breaking him again.
That’s why he never opens up to you, and that’s why your conversation doesn’t reach any other level but superficial.
Spotting a player before you get too involved with him! – How to tell he’s a player from a distance?
Although not so easily, a player can be spotted in a crowd or before you get too involved with him.
You can spot the signs that the guy you met online is a player. Knowing these signs and spotting the red flags will help you dodge a bullet!
Here are the very early signs a guy is a player:
– “I don’t want anything serious, but I want to know you better”
This is one of the things a player says at the very beginning of a connection. It’s how he secures his place in your life and gets what he wants once you let him in.
– He makes himself seem perfect.
He knows exactly what you want to hear, and he will use exactly that to get your attention and affection.
He’s got the charm, he’s got the words – he’s fully armed with what it takes to get someone hooked.
– He’s arrogant, not confident.
He knows when he crosses the line, so he won’t do that. He’s super confident and he knows it.
He uses his arrogance to intimidate you, impose a specific image of himself on you, and make you more likely to fall for his games.
– He tries moving things too fast.
Another one of the most used tactics by players (narcissists as well) is love bombing.
He gives you compliments and tells you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear without even knowing you that much.
You’ve just introduced yourselves, and he’s already talking to you about how many kids he’d like to have in the future… with you!
– He’s telling you all about his crazy exes.
He wants you to feel sorry for him for being treated badly by some crazy girls that didn’t know his worth.
This tricks you into thinking you’re the one for him, the one that’ll save him and will know his worth at last.
– He doesn’t pay attention to what you say and forgets every time.
His mind is focused on his intentions, he’ll use you for the benefits he’s looking for. He won’t listen unless that’ll be useful information to reach his goals with you.
– He tells you “I’m not a player” without even asking him.
You might be familiar with feeling guilty about something and getting suspicious that everyone knows of the thing you did, so you try to act casually about it.
This is what he does to get rid of what he doubts you’re doubting.
– He’s been with a lot of people you know of.
If a lot of friends from your friend group have stories about him, then, it is not a very good sign.
Introduction to a player’s game – Here’s how he tricks you!
A player’s game has a clever strategy behind it. Although some of them do it unconsciously, the majority of players tend to be very aware of what they’re doing.
Here’s how a player tricks you:
- He uses manipulations such as love bombing, gaslighting, and guilt-tripping to seduce you and keep you in the relationship.
- He knows exactly what you want to hear, and he says it.
- He makes you feel insecure. Because knowing your worth you’d know you deserve better and have the courage to speak up and cut it off.
- He fakes emotions to make you feel guilty for wanting to leave. He tries using his looks and intellect to use your weakness against you.
- He knows he looks good, he uses this charm to manipulate you. Especially with his facial expressions, and abilities to make things sound so true.
- He’ll use everything he can to make you feel guilty for rejecting him.
Answering your questions about players!
1. “What are the signs that a player is falling in love with you?”
A player is first a human, then a player, right? So, he’s a man falling in love with you. However, some of the signs that a player is falling in love with you involve:
- He’s playing no games anymore;
- He’ll want to spend time out of the bedroom;
- He’ll start opening up;
- He will consistently keep in touch;
2. “Do players fall in love?”
Yes, players do fall in love. Players, despite what they’re judged to be like, have and can develop feelings. The issue is that they cannot commit, and have difficulties being intimate and showing their vulnerability.
3. “Can a player commit to a relationship?”
In most cases, a player cannot commit to a relationship. As that is the main issue as to why they’re called players. They’re not interested in a relationship.
However, if they choose to acknowledge their inner issues, and choose to start working on finding what’s troubling them, they might as well be able to commit to a relationship.
A lot of people that are struggling with this, choose to go to therapy and find it helpful in solving the things causing them to cause trouble.
4. “Can I change a player?”
You can’t change a player. He has to do this himself.
What you can do is be there and stand by his side on his journey to healing.
One of the reasons why so many girls fall for such men is because they strongly believe that they can change them.
Don’t get involved, unless what you’re looking for is drama, or if you think he’s willing to start healing and you want to stay and help on his journey.
His dynamics of behavior can be highly damaging and they might even blind you from the truth.
You can always consult with a therapist that’ll help you in your healing journey. You can talk to a therapist anytime!
Take good care,
Let’s define what a player is – A player explained psychologically
A Player – A guy, a man, that is seeing multiple people (with or without you knowing about it) that doesn’t have consideration towards your feelings, and will tell you anything it takes to ‘play’ you into bed. I.e he’s not looking for commitment, but will play games to make you think he is.
According to Psychology Today, the term ‘Player’ is also used when that’s not the actual case. The term is used quite frequently by women who like to have control during the dating process.
The truth about players is that they’ve been emotionally hurt. It’s about hurtful past experiences either from their childhood, or a past experience with another person they were romantically involved with.
If a player has been emotionally hurt during childhood usually by his mother. This can be explained with the Mother complex – a theory by Carl Jung according to which this way of dating is called Don Juanism.
Now the player that practices Don Juanism, is unconsciously constantly looking for his mother in the women he sees. Note: in heterosexual connections.
Usually the mother presents a caring, providing and nurturing figure, and in the case of a player that hasn’t felt loved by his mother in his childhood, he will seek comfort in other women, not just one, but in multiple women at the same time.
If he got hurt by a past romantic experience with a woman, he will block himself emotionally in order to not open up to let anyone in. Since the thought of fragility now scares them. They’ve been hurt, and they’re constantly trying to avoid it.
So, a player in the depth, is just as fragile as anyone else is. The thing about them is that they’re consciously and unconsciously dealing with problems and trying to avoid getting hurt at all costs.
A player will be able to start working on his problems/demons only if he acknowledges them. It is something they have to solve and deal with themselves, it is not about a solid simple thing someone can provide.
Introduction to a player’s game – How he tricks you
- They know exactly what you want to hear, and they say it.
We’re talking about a highly advanced game, to get you hooked, and they do. It’s about studying you, knowing your type, and using it to seduce you.
- They make you feel insecure.
He doesn’t want you knowing your worth, nor you being confident about what and who you are/present. Because knowing your worth, you’d know you deserve better, and have enough courage to speak about what’s hurting you and cut it off.
- They fake emotions – They don’t care about yours.
Especially during debates, they try to use their looks, their abilities to say what hits your weak points, and use it against you, in order to make you feel insecure and guilty for what you said to them, even if it is their fault to begin with.
- They create an image of themselves, sell it to you, manipulate you to believe everything they say, just so they’ll have admiration from you (and other people).
They know they look good, they use their charm to manipulate you. Especially with their face expressions, and abilities to make things sound so true.
- They react strangely to rejection.
They’ll use everything they can to make you feel guilty for rejecting them. They’ll play the victim, they’ll do what it takes.
In some other cases they don’t accept it, and become rude all of a sudden. As they don’t handle ‘negative emotions’ very well.
Is he playing you? – Signs he’s a player
Now that we have a better understanding of what a player is and why he is that way, we can move on to the signs he’ll give off if you’re already involved with him.
More tips on How to know if a guy is playing you and how you can get over a player.
Here, here are the signs he’s playing you:
1. He’s got this unbelievable ability to make you feel guilty and insecure
His game is well thought out in order for him to avoid getting hurt or ‘humiliated’. You can notice this especially when in an argument, he tries to flip the situation and put the blame on you.
Here’s a more specific example:
You’re very confident, and angry perhaps, to let him know of something he did that hurt you. You tell him. The debate starts, he’s playing the victim, perhaps shouting a little, getting angry, and accusing you for accusing him of ‘such a thing’. You’re left feeling guilty and sorry for bringing it up. “I could’ve just shut up instead. I can’t believe I’m so selfish!” End of story.
It didn’t happen once, it didn’t happen twice, it happened more than that.
2. He doesn’t put much effort, unless it’s about sex
He doesn’t bother to take you out, or ‘invest’ time, money, or emotions on “the relationship”. What he actually does, is he’s the nicest, kindest when he’s around, but doesn’t notice you when out in public.
He starts preparing the bed when it’s time to sleep – he reaches out to you, only when you have to meet up which is always at his place or yours, or anywhere it is only the two of you.
Notice how he always finds excuses not to stay over after ‘the fun time’ is done.
3. He’s always trying to make it about sex/sexting – He only reaches out late at night
So, he barely reaches out to you, and when he texts you, you notice him constantly trying to make it about sex. He’s almost desperate to lead the conversation towards sexting. It is one of the signs he’s not interested through text.
You see, they need attention, affection, and love, but since they’re not emotionally available, they just need the superficial. They want sex, sexting, but they don’t want the emotional, connection, the bonding that the sex comes with.
4. He plays the victim
Every single time. You let him know that you don’t feel very well that he’s only contacting you right before you two do the baby-making process. He hits you with something like: “Babe I get only one free day of the week, and I choose it to spend it with you. Now you’re telling me that I only contact you for sex? What about me? How do you think I feel about being alone all week?!”
It gets more dramatic than that. But that’s not the point. The point is, they play the victim in order to make you feel guilty, and to make you question your standards.
5. He’s not putting any effort on “the title” – “Babe, you know how I feel about you!”
You ask him the grand question:
“What are we? Are we a couple, or friends, or friends with benefits? What are we really?”
And he does everything to avoid answering your question straightforwardly. He can hit you with something like “Babe… babe, you know how I feel about you. There’s no need for labels.”
He might even continue it even further to make you feel silly and guilty for ‘putting him in such a position’.
In a few words, he wants to be discreet, and he’ll find his ways to do it.
6. He vanishes from time to time
He ghosts you, and he comes back. He does this quite often, and in a repeating manner – He just stops texting.
Note how long he goes away for. It can be weeks or even months; and when he comes back he goes with the acting casual like “Hey stranger!”.
I want you to think about it, and decide. Do you want to reply, or keep being a stranger?
7. You feel the pressure to give him space
It’s all those exhausting mind games he’s playing with you, and he’s doing it so well. You often feel like giving him the space he needs so bad because you’ve been suffocating him with all your neediness.
We’re all needy for something. In your case he’s too needy of sex, but you know, it’s the only time you see him, and whenever you bring it up, he starts with the drama, so you just f*cking drop it.
The thing is, he’ll talk about the things, and do the things that make you go “I’m too needy, I got to give him space!”. He knows all about the games, he will obviously use the knowledge.
8. He gets/got cold after sex
Yes, he gets cold after sex, and you’re left wondering about what you did wrong, or what you said wrong.
This can be explained by their incapability of connection, their fear of building a connection which then exposes them to vulnerability. Sex is also a way of connecting with one another, it involves a lot of intimacy and vulnerability, and a player will not be capable of handling well the cuddling and pillowtalk too – He goes cold so that he can avoid it.
9. He doesn’t trust you – He’s controlling & jealous
His insides are chaotic, hence he’ll cause chaos to others – He’s reflecting his relation with himself.
He’s seeing other people (most probably hiding this from you), hence he’ll doubt that you’re doing the same thing behind his back.
He can’t trust anyone, because his trust has been tested before and it is one of the reasons he is the way he is today. He can’t trust you, that’s why he won’t let you in, and that’s why he won’t let you see the vulnerable in him.
10. His words don’t match his actions – Lies, lies, lies!
You caught him lying perhaps about more than one thing. He’ll say he’ll do something, but he does something completely different.
To put it plainly, he lies to you about things.
11. You never see him on the weekends
He uses his weekends for other things. Perhaps he’s got a relationship with someone else, and is spending his weekends with them.
The point is, he will avoid spending time with you.
Spending time with one another can lead to knowing more about one another which then leads to a connection, or a bonding to form. He will avoid that as much as he can.
12. He’s very protective to his phone
He’s got all these female friends he doesn’t want you to know about (perhaps his socials are full of them). He also got contacts and messages, and all these things you shouldn’t see, hence he’s sensitive when it comes to the phone – He’ll do his best for you not to see his phone around.
13. It’s been a while, and he hasn’t introduced you to people
I was in doubt if I should be involving this sign or not. But I did, because if it is combined with the other signs, this one can be quite a big indicator.
I’m not talking about 3 months of knowing him, I’m talking about a year and more since you’ve met. If he hasn’t introduced you to anyone close to him yet, then he most probably is playing games.
Note: Do not take this sign alone, as one can have a lot of other reasons, besides playing, why they don’t introduce someone to their close people (friends or family, or whoever is close to him).
How to tell he’s a player? – Spotting a player before you get too involved with him
This is about those who haven’t got involved in too much yet. Perhaps you’re texting, or just talking every now and then (though this is not how most players ‘perform’), whatever the case is, is you haven’t kissed him, had sex with him, or got in too deep yet, here’s how to tell if a guy is a player:
1. “I don’t want anything serious, but I want to know you better”
He tells you similar things at the very beginning. He doesn’t want anything serious, but he wants to know you better.
Okay sir, then what do you get from knowing me better? Kissing? Having sex? And then leaving with no explanation?
You know your own standards, but I’d choose not to let him ‘know me better’, unless you’re not into anything serious either.
2. Everything so perfect about him, but something just feels off
You hear everything you ever wanted to hear – It’s too good to be true. That’s because he knows exactly what you want to hear, and he will use exactly that to get you hooked. You spotted him.
3. He’s super confident – Almost cocky
Perhaps not even cocky, but he knows when he crosses the line, so he won’t do that. Back to the point:
He’s super confident and it’s intimidating. He’s got the looks, and he knows it. He’s got the charm, he’s got the words – he’s fully armed with what it takes to get someone hooked.
4. He’s coming on too strong at the very beginning of knowing you
You’ve just introduced yourselves, and he’s already talking to you about how many kids he’d like to have in the future. But trust me, when it comes to the real talk about it he’ll pull away, and you will notice.
Or maybe he just got out of a relationship and is already going with the “Babe”, “You’re so important to me”, and other similar lines that take time to feel them in order to say them.
5. He tries to move things too fast
The thing is he’ll make everything move fast, in order for you to not suspect much, not waste time, and go straight to the point which is: sex.
That’s why he starts with the words like ‘babe’, or ‘sexy’, and you notice this on the first day that you meet him. You met him today, and you already feel like you’re in a relationship. Girl, boy, whatever you are, run!
6. He texts you late at night only
Perhaps you haven’t met yet, you’re just still in the texting phase (which with players doesn’t last long), but whenever he texts, he does it late at night only.
The reason for that? He wants to get into the sexting, so he makes room to kiss or even have sex for when you meet. He’s smart, but not too smart!
7. He’s telling you all about his crazy exes
He wants you to feel sorry for him for being treated badly by some crazy girls that didn’t know his worth. Well, if he doesn’t respect the time with them, he won’t respect the time with you either.
He’s talking badly about people already, what can you expect from him?
8. He doesn’t pay attention to what you say and forgets every time
Perhaps he asks things, but he doesn’t listen, he doesn’t pay attention to the wisdom that you’re preaching. That’s why he says “What?” or gets surprised when you mention something that you already told him before.
Girl, boy, whatever you are, run before you get too involved with him.
9. He goes “I’m not a player” without even asking him
Yes, so he’s trying to sell you that image. You know the feeling when you’re guilty of something and you get suspicious that everyone is about to know of the thing you did, so you try to act casual about it? This is the case for our boy too.
You didn’t even ask, you didn’t say a damn thing about ‘playing’, or ‘player’, he just went on talking about it, oh he’s talking the talk!!
10. He’s been with a lot of people you know of
Listen, if a lot of friends from your friend group have stories about him, then, it is not a very good sign. Sure, the world is small sometimes, but if it is more than one friend that tells you they had to do with him, then you might want to think about it a little longer before you get into it.
Is he a player? – FAQ
There were so many questions about this topic, some of them already expected from you people! Here they are:
“What are the signs that a player is falling in love with you?”
Okay, so a player is first a human, then is a man, then is a player, right? So, he’s a man falling in love with you, unless you don’t believe he’s a male human. However, here are a few things you can focus a bit more on:
He’s playing no games anymore – That’s why they’re called players, they play games. But he can’t do them with someone who he’s falling for. It’s just love.
He’ll want to spend time out of the bedroom – He’ll want to take you out. He finds time for you no matter what.
He’ll start opening up – about the daily things in his life, his problems, and his past. This is one of the most difficult things a player can do. It has to do a lot with intimacy and I’m not talking about sex, I’m talking about closeness and vulnerability with another.
He will keep in touch in a consistent manner – he will reach out to you and keep you close to him and updated to what he’s doing. And, he won’t tell you things so you feel sorry for him, he will tell you things that are genuine and pure. You’ll know it when he does it.
“Do players fall in love?”
Of course they do fall in love. As I said above, he is first a human, then he’s a man, THEN he’s a player. He’s made of bones, flesh, feelings, emotions, hormones, troubles, and everything a human is made of. He perhaps tries to deny it, but he gives off signs he loves you. Of course he falls in love.
“Can I change a player?”
Not really. However, if he chooses to change,
If you want to be with him (as he is) , you must know that there’ll be challenges. Especially if YOU try to change him. A good approach to the situation would be helping him. You can be there and stand by his side on his journey to healing, instead of trying to change him in order to benefit your own self.
He has to make the decision he wants to change. There’s not much you can do about it, unless you choose to stay by his side and help him.
“I want to make a player fall in love with me. How can I do that?”
There are no tips or tricks to make someone fall in love, forget the ‘steps’, the ‘free excellent videos’, the ‘this will make him fall for you’!
What makes a player fall in love entirely depends on his type, his personality, his preferences, the social environment he grew up in, and a lot of other factors. Players, despite from what they’re judged to be like, have and can develop feelings. The issue is that they cannot commit, and have difficulties being intimate and showing their vulnerability.
“I fell in love with a player, now he’s ignoring me. What do I do about it?”
Just like he has to acknowledge his inner problems in order to start working on them, so do you. Look deep in yourself, and see what is attracting you to this man, what made you fall for him.
Usually girls that fall for these men, and get attached to them, have the father complex or also known in the society as ‘daddy issues’. They unconsciously see their father figure in him, and get attached to him.
Focus on yourself, and wellbeing. Try to let go of your attachment with him, and be open to working on yourself.
“Can a player commit to a relationship?”
Most of the cases a player cannot commit to a relationship. As that is the main issue to why they’re called players. They’re not interested in a relationship.
However, if they choose to acknowledge their inner issues, and choose to start working on finding what’s troubling them, they might as well be able to commit to a relationship. A lot of people that are struggling with this, choose to go to therapy, and find it helpful in solving the things causing them to cause trouble.
Conclusion – What we’ve learnt
One of the reasons why so many girls fall for such men is because they strongly believe that they can change them. That’s because of this very combination:
- They are these boys, these men, that are constantly dealing with troubles which is tempting for women since we are sort of built to be the nurturing and the healing ones.
- They are incredibly good at playing mind games that get the person hooked, just so they can leave when the bond starts forming.
Lesson: Don’t get involved, unless what you’re looking for is drama, or if you think he’s willing to start healing and [you]want to stay and help on his journey.
Take good care,