Forgiving is generally a sensitive issue.
It’s an issue of vulnerability, guilt, shame, courage, and pain.
Mistakes can tear relationships apart if they’re not dealt with in the right way.
It’s obvious that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deals with them differently.
In relationships, a small mistake might cost you losing the person you’re with.
You did something, now he’s either willing to forgive you, or leave the relationship there.
You might be looking for signs to see if he will ever forgive you for what you did, but that has to do with the mistake you made and the character of your man.
If it’s a forgivable mistake, he will probably forgive you.
If he is stubborn and what you did hurt him a lot, even if to you it wasn’t a big deal, he might never forgive you.
“Is it my fault?”
Have you done the unforgivable? 8 mistakes he might never forgive you for
It depends on what mistake(s) you have made that hurt him.
Some mistakes are bigger than others, even though technically they can’t be measured.
People themselves measure their wrongdoings depending on the impact they leave on people, and how much they hurt others.
Let’s see some of the most unforgivable ‘mistakes’ you might make to make him feel like you’re not worthy of forgiveness!
1. You cheated on him
This is not often seen as a mistake, it’s seen as a choice. It’s backed up by the infidelity statistics that it’s a very hard pill to swallow.
In fact, he has every right to not forgive you because cheating is not an easily forgivable mistake.
If one of you cheats in a relationship, there’s not much left in that relationship and recovery is the toughest road in that case.
When you go to that point to even think about cheating on your partner, you have lost your love and respect for them.
And where there is no love and respect, there is no healthy relationship.
After all, cheating is a choice, not a mistake!
No one deserves to sit down and wonder if their partner is cheating on them.
It will make him insecure and he’ll be left dealing with trust issues.
Again, it’s a hard pill to swallow. He might not forgive you!
2. You lied to him multiple times
Honesty is vital for a relationship to work out and be healthy.
It’s what builds up trust within each other. Without trust, the relationship won’t thrive. It’s as simple as that.
He has probably caught you lying once or twice and forgave you for that.
But he must have caught you lying more than that for him to never forgive you.
Every time you lie to your partner, the relationship loses its value to you and leaves your partner with trust issues.
Whatever the situation is, it’s always better to come clean to your partner and tell the truth without trying to make it look better than it is.
If your partner loves you, he’ll love you as you are and you don’t have to lie to him to make yourself look better in a situation.
Also, if you do something wrong, he’ll most likely forgive you if you tell the truth than make up another lie.
3. You left when he needed you the most
Relationships are not just loving, cuddling, dates, and ‘fun stuff’.
They are, but there’s more depth than just superficial movie-like stuff.
Loving, cuddling, dates, and fun are on the sunny side of the relationship.
It’s on the dark side of it when your partner needs you the most.
If you haven’t been there for him when he was going through difficulties then you haven’t given him a reason to see much value within the relationship.
That’s something he might not forgive you for.
Anyone can be with you on your happy days, but it’s the hard times that we know who is on our side and who leaves when things get tough.
There’s someone who doesn’t leave you when you need them the most. Someone who makes you aware of your ability to forgive and improve.
It’s someone we all need in our lives. It’s a hero for your tough times.
4. You never gave him privacy
As much as we love being with our partners all the time and sharing our time and things with them, time alone now and then doesn’t sound bad.
Your partner should not feel like you’re suffocating him and not letting him breathe.
Both of you should be free to do what you want whenever you want and have some privacy for yourselves whenever you need to.
Everyone needs that personal space where you reflect on yourself or just do things by yourself.
If you were always dominating his space, like wanting the passwords to his social media or his phone, then that’s a tiring thing to deal with.
Not allowing him to have time for himself is likely to make him feel like you invade his space a little too much.
And if he’s the person to like his personal space respected then he might not get back.
He probably felt like you’re too possessive of him and that’s why he’s thinking of not forgiving you for not giving him personal space.
5. You haven’t changed your behavior
An apology without a changed behavior is not a valid apology.
What’s the point of apologizing when you don’t change your behavior and you continue to do the things you apologized for?
That’s just manipulation.
So if you made a mistake, apologized, and continued to make that mistake over and over again, he mightn’t forgive you because you haven’t learned your lesson.
He might forgive you the first time to see how you’re behaving after your apology but after that, he will feel taken for granted and won’t forgive you.
Isn’t that what most of us would do if put in the same situation?
6. You didn’t accept him as he was
When you love someone, you love them the way they are.
You accept their best qualities, their flaws, and their insecurities.
And if you tried changing him, in a way that made him feel devalued and underappreciated he has probably given up on the relationship.
Perhaps it was intentional of you, but no one would like to get back to a place of unacceptance and criticism.
No one likes the feeling of being forced to not be themselves.
When he doesn’t feel loved and accepted by you, he won’t stay with you and won’t forgive you for not letting him be himself.
7. You made him feel emotionally abused
Emotional abuse is something a lot of people in relationships suffer from.
Abuse can be verbal domination, control, mockery, and misuse of private information for degrading purposes.
- He feels that his opinions and feelings are wrong;
- He feels stupid and has low self-esteem;
- He feels like he’s not allowed to be angry;
- He doubts his emotions and reality;
If you contributed to any of those things, he’s likely to not forgive you for that.
Emotional abuse leaves a negative mark on people and it will only lead to a toxic relationship.
8. You never took accountability nor apologized properly
An honest apology can soften the heart of a hurt man.
An honest apology is when you accept the mistake that you’ve made, you understand how much you have hurt your partner and you feel truly sorry about it.
This is the closest you can get to him forgiving you.
But, if you never took accountability or responsibility, nor apologized for your wrongdoings then you left no room for him to forgive you in the first place.
If you’re looking for forgiveness, you have to take accountability and apologize– ask for forgiveness.
How do I know he will never forgive me? – Signs he won’t forgive you
You’re thinking about whether he will forgive you because you have noticed some changes in him and you’re probably wondering if those are signs that he will never forgive you.
So, what is he doing that’s making you think that?
Let’s find out!
Here are some things he does when he is thinking of not forgiving you:
– He stays cold with you.
He might tell you that he has forgiven you but at the same time he’s not the same as he was before.
He’s more distant from you and acts differently.
Maybe he needs time to process things and to let everything be like it was before.
Or maybe he thinks that he has forgiven you, but deep down he is still holding grudges against you and can’t fully forgive you.
That’s totally acceptable since he is still hurt from what you did.
You need to give him time for everything to settle in and if it still feels like he’s cold with you, ask him if there is anything you can do to make it up to him.
– He’s left with trust issues.
The worst part of making mistakes, or betraying a person is the aftermath of it.
According to psychologists, trust is one of the first signs of an emotional bond in a relationship.
And breaking that trust is the breaking point of the relationship too. In this case, he might need time to feel secure in a relationship again.
Trust issues are going to stay with him for a while after the mistakes that were made.
Even if you’re still together, or you broke up, he’s still going to have difficulties trusting people.
He thinks that everyone will turn their back on him and won’t trust anyone.
You left those trust issues with him that are going to affect his relationship with other people.
That’s why he can’t forgive you.
– He doesn’t communicate with you like he used to.
After the mistakes have been made, he can’t talk to you like he used to.
He can’t forgive you for what you did, so instead of talking about it, he keeps it to himself and doesn’t communicate it with you.
If he wanted to get back to how he was, he would talk about the problem and try to solve it.
But if he doesn’t communicate with you, that’s when you know it’s over.
Or he just needs some time to think about what he wants to do next.
– He is truly hurt.
People in relationships commonly get hurt by their significant other.
And it’s not a surprise that they’re hurt because all of us get hurt by people that are the closest to us.
You can’t get hurt by a stranger’s wrongdoings because it has nothing to do with you.
It’s someone you love whom you get hurt by the most.
So, maybe he’s that hurt that he can’t really forgive you for what you did.
– He needs his space respected, and he’s verbal about it.
When he’s verbally straightforward that he needs his space respected, then he’s likely to have his mind made up on this issue.
On the other hand, it can be that he needs time to think about the situation and make a decision.
Or he’s asking you to leave him alone and is asking you to respect this need of his. In other words, he might not be willing to forgive you.
How to make him forgive me?
Well, if you think you’ve done the unforgivable yet there’s a glimmer of hope that he’ll forgive you, there are some things you can try.
Here are some tips on how to make him forgive you:
– Give him an honest apology.
Apologize for what you did and mean it. Accept that you have made a mistake that has hurt him and tell him how sorry you are.
– Promise him you will not make that mistake again, and keep this promise.
Let him know that what you did will not happen again and that way he can think about forgiving you.
– Give him some time to process things.
Don’t pressure him to forgive you. Give him time to process things alone. This way he’ll have the time he needs without your interference.
It shows him that you understand and that you know you messed it up.
– Respect his decision and be considerate of his feelings.
This might come to him as a sign that you’re ready for a fresh start and that you’re mature enough to reach an agreement with him.
On the other hand, you also let him know that you’re aware of what you did and that you’re respectful of his feelings as well.
Conclusion: He forgives you or not
If he doesn’t forgive you after all those things,
- maybe your mistake is really unforgivable;
- or he has lost feelings for you and wants to break up, so he is using your mistake to walk away from you.
You can’t force anything. So, accept that and move on with your life.
On the other hand, if he forgives you, cherish him and put effort into making things right this time!