Commitment. One of the fundamental bases to giving a relationship ‘the label’.
He might’ve been “not into labels” or perhaps just not ready for one yet.
Well, some men eventually get into the idea of committing, while others never change and keep their play mode on.
At the end of the day, it is a personal choice in which none of us are entitled to intervene in.
Though, it’d be good to know if there’s hope, right?
When he’s ready to commit, he shows signs. Some more obvious, some less obvious.
Depending on your connection, he might be willing to commit after a while of knowing and connecting with you.
On the other hand, if he’s scared of commitment, then the story might have a different turn!
Will he commit?
Here are 5 solid signs he will commit eventually:
1. He’s caring and helps you around
Care and support are often considered as a strong base of commitment within a relationship.
This is what makes it one of the vital signs that he wants a committed relationship with you, or at least is willing to commit to your connection eventually.
This is a big sign especially if he didn’t show such signs of care and support before.
The initial stages of the connection with him (considering that he didn’t commit so far) could have rendered a cold image of him.
You care for someone when you’ve achieved a particular attachment and sympathy for that person.
He’s becoming warmer and closer compared to his cold and distant stance during the very early stages of your connection.
You can note this behavior through
- The way he treats you indicates you’re important to him;
- The way he listens and supports you emotionally;
- The way he looks after you when you need someone to do so.
Usually, when commitment is crossing his mind and when he sees himself committing to you and the connection with you, he becomes very caring and attentive.
Normally, when there are no intentions of committing whatsoever things are usually kept superficial: The distance is ‘safely kept’.
Care comes along when there are feelings involved, and showing he cares comes along when he’s willing to show that he’s there for more than just momentary pleasures.
Commitment is about what’s beyond those momentary pleasures. And this, this is a good sign!
2. He started spending more time with you
Time is precious. When he starts investing time in you it often means he likes your presence and himself under the influence of your presence.
When he likes you, and when there are feelings involved, chances are higher for him to think and want commitment.
If initially, he wasn’t interested in commitment then it doesn’t need much to understand and notice how little time you spend together.
Usually, people who avoid commitment keep their distance to avoid emotional attachment, emotional connection, and the commitment itself.
A willingness to spend more can strongly indicate a willingness to connect emotionally. That is a good sign in the commitment realm!
More time with you can lead to or mean
- Consistent communication (e.g. texting);
- Stable presence in your life instead of coming and going, or pulling away and coming back;
- Spending quality time to get to know and understand more of you and your personality; i.e. bonding through personal stories.
Presence and quality time are yet other important traits of a committed relationship.
Time, effort, care, and support are some of the key factors to set a healthy base for a committed relationship.
His showing willingness to practice exactly those is one of the sure signs that he wants to commit to you or at least will commit soon.
3. Your sadness becomes his sadness
Empathy and sensitivity to your emotional state are yet another sign of care and positive feelings.
When his mood is affected by yours, it means that the connection goes deeper than the surface level.
When your sadness becomes his sadness and your joy becomes his joy it means that you’ve managed to develop an emotional connection with one another.
He pays attention to notice when you’re upset, but he also has enough feelings involved to get upset by the fact that you’re sad.
You can notice this being a sign if
- His mood lights up when he sees you smiling;
- He gets sad to see you sad;
- He tries to cheer you up or listen when you need to be listened to.
If he’d fear or resent the idea of commitment, then he’d run away when things would get heated or emotional.
On the other hand, if he’s willing to commit sooner or later he’ll start paying attention and stay instead of leaving in such situations.
It’s the emotional part that enriches a relationship with commitment.
If he sticks around even during tough and emotional times, then commitment is on its way, if not already here!
Oftentimes you might find yourself struggling to make the right decisions within connections and relationships. It is normal in the day and age we live in.
Struggling because of a relationship that hasn’t even begun properly is no easy place to be in.
It messes up your head to the point where you’re too overwhelmed emotionally to make a rational decision.
In that case, you’re in need of another perspective, perhaps a professional one. A relationship hero has the answers to all your questions!
4. He doesn’t stay for the ‘bedtime’ only
This is one of those more promising signs. If he sticks around for more than just sex, then chances are he will eventually commit.
This is because sex often doesn’t come with baggage and for those who don’t want baggage such as commitment a solely sexual relationship will suit them well.
An example of such a relationship or connection is a Friends with Benefits Relationship.
On the other hand, if chooses to stay more than that, he chooses to take a bit more than momentary pleasure from your company.
He’s keeping you around for a reason, and it’s not just sexual pleasure!
You can know he’s not there just for sex if
- He doesn’t revolve the conversations and the stay-around sex only;
- His mindset about commitment and relationships is shifting: he sees more than sex;
- He sees you as more than just a body.
Having your connection solely based on sex is easy, it takes minimal effort to maintain it, and you don’t owe each other anything.
This is often a cause for people to simply back off from relationships and commitment.
However, if his mindset and point of view on this topic are shifting, he’s likely to stay for your good company and not just for your sexual companionship.
This is a solid sign he might eventually choose to commit to this connection.
5. He’s there for you: He’s patient and attentive
Being there for you means spending time, putting effort, paying attention to you and your needs, and being considerate towards your needs and feelings.
When the feelings start kicking in, oftentimes, so does the desire to have a committed relationship with that person.
Being there for a person is a commitment itself, it takes a lot of sympathy and affection for that person to want to stay by their side.
This is either a sign that he already started committing, or that he’s started walking on the path that leads to commitment.
You can tell he’s there for you if
- He’s patient with you, your moods, your presence, and your wants;
- He doesn’t have other women in his life;
- He pays attention to what you need and what you want without pressuring you about anything.
Again, this is often a sign of commitment in its early stages since it’s a clear choice. He’s choosing to stay beyond momentary pleasures because he likes you more than that.
He listens when you need to be listened to, he pays attention to details, he’s patient when it comes to you…
In other words and even more, interestingly, he’s choosing to stay to see beneath the surface and be there for you when you need him.
But hey! Should you wait for him?
Commitment is a topic that at times can lead to heated debates. One might be scared of solely the idea of commitment, another might be excited and thrilled by it.
In this case, this might have been scared of commitment, not interested in a relationship, or simply had other ideas regarding it.
If most of the signs resonated with his behavior and manners you might have come to a happy or sad conclusion (depending on how you see his willingness to commit): he will commit.
The signs point to a direction that is in the future. This means it might take some time until you get there.
However, we’re left with another important question to answer: Is it worth waiting for him to commit?
The answer to that depends on a few factors:
- Your willingness to commit to this connection as well;
- The way he treats/treated you;
- How compatible you are;
- How much you like each other;
- The reason that brought you to this situation.
Oftentimes due to a lack of proper and clear communication you end up in a relationship in which your needs and expectations from that relationship aren’t met.
In this case, I’m assuming that commitment is something you wanted for a particular period, and despite not having it from him you stayed anyway because you liked him a lot.
… or you believed that at some point this is going to change.
Compromise is often normal within relationships, however, it differs a bit from sacrifice.
And in this case, you’re more likely to be making a sacrifice rather than a compromise.
Generally, waiting for someone to be ready to commit isn’t exactly worth it.
- You can keep in touch with him, but promising him your exclusivity as he’s freely dating other people can be heartbreaking and emotionally damaging for you.
- This is why it is very crucial to discuss some essentials beforehand. Those essentials include your expectations and intentions from the connection.
- If you’re down for commitment and he isn’t, then agreeing to stay in the connection isn’t a bright idea.
You’re staying in a connection with a person who has exactly the opposite of your ideas, expectations, and intentions within the relationship.
It is not just any preference. It is one of the key factors that determine a healthy or toxic relationship.
Move on with your life, and if he’s ready to commit he might reach back to you. If you’re available and down for the idea when that time comes you can make a decision based on that.
Can you speed up the process and make him commit? – Is there something you can do about it?
Again, commitment is a choice. It is a choice one makes on a conscious or subconscious basis of rationality.
However, you can make him commit, and you can indirectly impose such a decision on him. But that is extremely unhealthy and manipulative.
If we’re looking for a way to choose the good deeds then the answer is no, you can’t make him commit.
If he will decide or slowly fall into the idea of commitment it’ll be because he either made his conscious choice to do so or because he eventually saw himself wanting the sweet fruits of a committed relationship with you.
So, what you can do about it is give it time, and live your own life without imposing a decision on him.
Conclusion: Will he ever commit to this relationship?
Yes, he will commit to you and your relationship if
- He’s caring, affectionate, and supportive;
- He’s spending more time with you;
- He cares about your wellbeing;
- He stays more than just sex;
- He’s there for you: he’s patient and attentive.
You can never tell for sure though. This is why you need to discuss a few essentials before you decide to get involved with another person.
Intentions and expectations should be discussed so that you know you’re on the same page.
If you’re ready for commitment but he isn’t, you both have every right to not want to keep the connection going with one another.
There’s no point to it if you can’t offer each other the very base of the connection.