Being cheated by a partner is a traumatic experience.
Your trust is betrayed by the one person you love so dearly, and above all, by the one person, you could never lie to. You trusted him.
You’re a strong woman for being able to gather strength and take him back – to save the relationship. I acknowledge your strength, and I cheer you for it!
However, it’s also normal to be scared that he will cheat again.
Despite the will and optimism to get the relationship back on its feet, you’re also more cautious when it comes to your heart, emotions, and well-being.
Depending on his personality and character, he could be the type to cheat again, or the type to never even think of it again.
Thankfully, this reflects on how he handles the situation and how he dealt/deals with it today.
Putting it all together we will get to know if he’s likely to cheat again or not.
12 signs he will cheat again:
1. He didn’t acknowledge his wrongdoings
This often indicates that cheating has become normal to him. Not acknowledging that cheating is wrong, increases the odds of him cheating again.
On the other hand, it could indicate that he’s immature and incapable of reflecting on his behavior.
He’s not willing to take a look at his actions and acknowledge them so that he can work on his behavior.
If he didn’t acknowledge the cheating, if he couldn’t see that what he did was hurtful and wrong, then he’s very likely to cheat again.
That’s due to his lack of awareness of the action; Due to his blindness to the pain that he caused you.
- He didn’t apologize.
- He didn’t admit cheating was wrong (and if he did, he wasn’t very convincing about it).
2. He doesn’t seem to feel guilty for his actions
Acknowledging the fact that cheating on you was wrong and the feeling of guilt go hand in hand.
If he doesn’t seem to feel guilty for what he did to you, the odds are pretty high that he’ll do it again.
The “once and never again” cheaters tend to feel very guilty. The bitterness of the experience makes them avoid cheating, and the thoughts of it.
On the other hand, cheating doesn’t resemble a bitter experience for a cheater that doesn’t feel guilty.
Guilt is a powerful emotion and feeling. If he doesn’t feel it, and it doesn’t show through his actions, then he’ll potentially do it again.
Cheating didn’t leave a mark on his conscience. The thought of cheating is very likely to recur in his mind; it doesn’t take much for it to become reality.
- His actions don’t show he’s feeling guilt.
- He doesn’t put effort into assuring you he’s not going to cheat again.
3. He wasn’t the one to tell you that he cheated
Infidelity statistics show that 57% of people involved in infidelity confess to their partners. It’s often due to the feeling of guilt and shame for their actions.
On the other hand, cheating often goes for long periods without being found out.
The ones to confess are more likely to feel guilt and shame for what they did, indicating that they’re less likely to do it again.
The ones who go along with it, and that are fine with it as long as you don’t catch them, are more likely to cheat again.
If he doesn’t confess, he’s more likely to cheat again. Essentially, the guilt didn’t win the battle with the pleasure he got from cheating.
And that’s where the problem is: the risk of him wanting that pleasure back again.
He could go on with cheating if he wouldn’t get caught. He’s likely to seek such experience, and do it again after a while.
- You caught him cheating, he didn’t confess.
- He’s been hiding it from you for a long time.
4. He’s starting to get back to his old pattern
A cheater’s behavioral pattern doesn’t go unnoticed.
He gets distant, inconsiderate of your needs, protective of his devices, defensive debates, arguments, and irritation towards your presence… These are just a few of the behaviors that indicate cheating.
If he cheated once, you have witnessed at least one of those I mentioned.
If you’re sensing such behavior again, it can indicate that he’s gotten comfortable with it, and it’s likely for him to cheat again.
You’re not paranoid, he’s cheating. If he’s not doing it, he’s at least thinking of it.
Once he’s sort of over it, he starts to act like nothing ever happened and stops putting effort into assuring you he’s not going to do it again.
If he’s at this point, he’s likely to think of cheating again. As guilt and shame are no longer weighing on his thought process.
- He’s acting like nothing ever happened: not putting extra effort to comfort you.
- He’s doing things he did back when he was cheating.
5. He made you believe it was your fault
This is toxic, and it’s a behavior often known as gaslighting.
He can be using it as a defense mechanism to regain power in the relationship.
He could be feeling guilty about it, but he’s not willing to admit it’s wrong.
This indicates a particular mindset that sits on someone who seeks external sources for fulfillment.
In this case, he relies on others to fulfill his needs and doesn’t have much compassion about how others are feeling about it.
He’s very likely to cheat again if he makes you feel responsible for his actions, especially if he made you feel guilty for his cheating.
He lacks compassion and empathy, which are essential for a healthy mindset, especially when it comes to preventing himself from cheating/cheating again.
- You feel responsible for his cheating.
- You don’t feel worthy of him: you feel inferior.
6. He didn’t remove all contact with her
Not cutting off contact with the one he cheated with can indicate a lack of will to detach from the experience.
That could mean he didn’t much regret what happened, and it could mean that he still has some type of longing for that connection.
Remaining in contact with her will tempt him to cheat again, to remind him of the connection, and to long for it.
It’s not just a sign, it’s a warning; it’s a red flag.
Start taking note if he refuses to let you see what he’s doing on his phone, or if he’s overprotective and secretive of his stuff.
If he’s keeping contact with the person he cheated with, he’s not done with that connection. He’s not detaching from her and the experience.
- He keeps in contact with her.
- He’s not willing to detach from the experience he had with her.
7. You’re having the same gut feeling you had then
He gives off signals once he’s pulling away from you, once there’s something off going on.
Those signals can often be subconscious which you also pick subconsciously. That can lead you to have a gut feeling that it’s going to happen again.
You’re having the same gut feeling you had back when he cheated on you.
This is a sign that he’s going to cheat again. His behavior warned your instinct and you’re now noticing it.
A few things that could affect you in having such a gut feeling could be his approach to the relationship.
He could be not paying attention to you as much as he used to, he could be acting secretive, or simply show signs of neglect towards you.
- Your intuition is telling you he’s going to do it again.
- He’s been acting off, hence the gut feeling.
8. He’s not helping you heal
If you’re feeling alone in this journey due to his neglect of your pain, then he might cheat again.
Regret plays a tremendously big role when it comes to not cheating again. If he regrets it, he’ll do anything he can to make you feel better and to help you heal.
If he’s not trying to work things out, sit down and check if you’re okay, then regret could be off the table.
This has to do a lot with his way of acknowledging what he did and practically helping you heal from what he caused you.
If he’s not considerate towards your feelings, if he’s disrespectful, then he probably will cheat in the future.
- He doesn’t seem to have regretted what he’s done.
- He’s not careful or considerate of what you may be feeling.
9. He won’t bother to hear how you’re feeling
Betrayal of trust leaves big scars and wounds.
If he doesn’t bother to hear you and listen to you about the impact his behavior has had on you, he might as well be indifferent towards your feelings.
That’s not a good sign. Not regarding the health of the relationship, nor the probability of recurring infidelity from his side.
Listening to each other is part of the healing for both of you.
Two people that unite to better each other’s lives with their presence are part of the picture that a healthy relationship portrays.
His unwillingness to listen to you while you express your concerns, and fears due to his cheating, is not a healthy sign.
- He’s not willing to hear you.
- He doesn’t consider what you went through, he doesn’t want to know about it.
10. He cheated in other relationships as well
Cheating is a decision. Or at least, it is based on a decision.
If it has happened once, and never again, then it is most likely that he couldn’t deal with the guilt, regret, and shame that came with it.
Which makes him a lot less likely to cheat again.
However, there’s room for worry if he kept doing it in past relationships.
There’s a type of men called players, or often f*ck boys. They have inner unsolved and undealt troubles that they’re constantly dealing with.
If he’s that type, he cheated multiple times in past relationships. And if he’s capable of that, then he’s capable of cheating again in this relationship as well.
- You found out he wasn’t faithful in past relationships.
- He could be giving off signs he’s playing you.
11. He lied to you about other things as well before
A good liar relies on genes and practice.
Lying is often chronic. If he’s been capable of lying to you about other things, then he’ll be capable of doing it again.
It’s hurtful to re-experience it through your memory. Of course, you’re feeling fooled by someone you truly love.
Lying is often part of character and personality. If he’s good at it, then you have to take this as a warning sign.
He can deal with doing and saying things that are hurtful to you and lie about it. This is a common trait of serial cheaters.
- He got away with lying a lot of times before.
- You’re sensing that he’s lying to you about other things as well.
12. He checks out other women
Instead of putting extra effort to reassure you, and helping you regain trust in him, he keeps his wandering eye fresh.
This is yet another red flag and a warning sign.
It’s disrespectful to you and the relationship, especially considering that he once cheated on you.
It is a sign of a lack of compassion and respect towards you and the relationship.
He’s aware of the weight of his actions on you, yet he still does triggering behavior.
It’s a sign of insensitivity, which could indicate that he’s very likely to cheat again.
- He’s curious about other women.
- He looks and/or checks out other women when around you.
Is a partner who has cheated likely to cheat again in the future?
A partner who has cheated before sometimes is likely to cheat again, but sometimes, is likely to never even think about it again.
Whether he’s the former type or the latter, entirely depends on his personality and character, his morals, and his beliefs.
You can tell how likely he is to cheat again through the way he handles/handled his wrongful behavior.
You have to take a look at his past, and the way he managed the experience and the aftermath of it.
If he’s been dwelling on guilt, regret, shame, and embarrassment for it, then he’s very less likely to do it again.
These are powerful feelings, and once they occur, they leave a huge mark on a person’s life and thought process.
He won’t bear the thought of feeling that way again, and you know he won’t cheat again.
However, if a man cheats more than once, he’s likely to do it again, unless he works on healing this trouble.
This type of man will cheat again if you take him back and will cheat again on someone else if you don’t take him back
How often do cheaters cheat again?
While there are people who never cheat, there are also people that cheat once and never do it again because of the trauma they’ve seen their actions cause.
On the other hand, there are types of people that cheat again and again…
There are various reasons why cheaters keep on cheating; A few to mention:
- Seeking external sources for inner fulfillment.
- Arrogance and need for power in the relationships.
- Low self-esteem.
- Using infidelity as a way to sabotage relationships.
- Seeing themselves as superior to others.
- Need for validation.
- Unsolved trauma and inner issues.
- Lack of empathy and compassion.
These are just a few reasons to mention, and most of them point to inner unsolved issues due to experiences that led to those issues.
Such behavior is characterized by a lack of empathy and compassion and a lack of awareness of the weight of the cheating.
Can a cheating man change and be faithful?
Yes, a cheating man can change and be faithful if he commits to healing and solving his inner trauma and trouble.
It takes a lot of time, effort, and commitment, but it’s not impossible.
However, he can’t change and be faithful in a blink of an eye, without any effort or work put into his healing.
If he doesn’t acknowledge his behavior, if he fails to see that this is hurtful and wrongful behavior, he’ll keep doing it whenever he gets the chance to.
With the right amount of work, time, effort, and healing, a cheating man can change and be faithful.
Wrapping up: Will he cheat again?
He will cheat again if he’s insensitive to your feelings, if he’s inconsiderate and arrogant about what he did, and if he’s not putting any effort to make things better with you.
On the other hand, he will not cheat again if he’s shown you that he’s in guilt, shame, and regret about it.
Shift the perspective a little: you love him dearly, how would you treat him if you did to him what he did to you?