Having a guy friend and developing feelings for him can be all lovely and cute and magical until those feelings aren’t mutual.
If your guy friend wants to keep you as a friend and doesn’t see you as a potential girlfriend he will make it pretty clear to you by setting his boundaries.
It’s the same for the opposite situation: if he doesn’t like you more than a friend, everything about him will give off the signs which we’ll talk through one by one. But before we do that, let’s have some basics checked!
Beginning with some tips and explanations on: How to tell if a guy likes you or just wants to be friends?
1. Observe his behavior and body language. You can notice if he likes you more than just a friend through his reaction when he sees you.
If he smiles wide, has a distinct reaction when he meets you from the others, then there’s something else going on. But if his body language is the same towards others then his intention is not to have something special with you.
2. Look for the way he introduces you to others. This is the best way that mirrors his feelings for you. If his family and friends know you as his friend Sarah, or he just casually says my friend Sarah is here then you are just his friend.
If he considers you more than just a friend, he won’t be able to be that casual when it comes to introducing you to others.
3. Pay attention to his decisions. What I mean is that friends get out of their way and change plans for friends, but if you mean to him more than just a friend he will do anything to adjust to your plans – he will make decisions based on you or your interests.
4. Check for his availability. If a guy sees you only as a friend he won’t be that willing to sacrifice time and plans for you. When he is interested in you more than a friend he will do everything to be available to you.
5. See if you have his attention. If he considers you just as a friend you will have his attention but in the same way as other people in your entourage. If he considers you more than just a friend, he will shift all his attention to you.
Yet, to understand this matter closely follow these 15 signs and make sure if he sees you as a friend only:
1. He creates his boundaries: Romanticizing with you is not a choice
If he wants to make sure that: You are just friends, he will keep things platonic.
He is close enough with you so you can understand each other, support each other emotionally, spend time with one another in a group of friends or even alone, but you don’t practice romantic gestures/activities with one another.
He creates the chance to be close with you but with boundaries. He could be more than just a casual friend, yet not your lover.
2. You take a step forward (towards him), he takes a step back
The moment he sees you only as a friend: a step forward for you means a step back for him. You try to give him hints or make a move to let him know that you like him, he acts distant or doesn’t get anything at all.
A light touch of his hand just so he can abruptly pull away, or a longer stare so he can look away or even say “What? Is my face in the wrong place?”
You are always the one that makes the first move and when you make a plan for just you two: He either invites other people or cancels it all.
To make sure of your theory, try this a few times; Invite him a few times, in different periods or occasions, just to make sure.
3. He acts distant to your flirty/complimentary phrases
If you try to take a step further and make a flirty move or compliment him, he will act all awkward. Maybe he will grant you something like “Thanks!” But nothing more.
He doesn’t compliment you back, he doesn’t flirt back; he either ignores the whole thing or doesn’t have a clue you’re flirting. Here’s how to tell if a guy is flirting with you!
Instead of light touches, there’ll be fist-bumps; instead of long and romantic hugs, there’ll be ‘bro hugs’ or handshakes.
4. If he uses these 11 lines, then it’s all screaming Friend Zone!
Sorry to break it to you, but if you have heard these lines from a guy that you like, then you are so Friend-Zoned! Here they go:
- “I am very happy that we make a great team as friends!”
- “You are my favorite bestie, and I mean that!”
- “That one mystery guy will be lucky to have you!”
- “You are so adorable today, you remind me of Lauren (his sister).”
- “I am so glad that you are my relationship counselor.”
- “Thank you for being my bestie, I always get the best relationship advice from you!”
- Jokingly saying: “If you were the last person on this earth, I would not date you dude”
- If you flirt with him and call him hot, he answers: “Haha, that bird is hotter than me – ok what are all of us going to do this Saturday?”
- “Oh come on, fix your hair, no one would want to date you like that…”
- “I love you, kiddo…”
- “Yeah, Sarah, you are such a goofball right now, stop it.”
5. He doesn’t seem to be protective/jealous around you
This somehow screams: ‘I do not see you as my potential girlfriend’’.
As a good friend, he’ll advise you when there’s something off about the guy you’re dating (or thinking to date); But he won’t be bothered whether other guys flirt or want to hook up with you. He might even encourage you to try and date that guy you’re liking so much.
The point is when he doesn’t see you more than a friend he won’t be against the idea of you dating.
6. He jokes about how you’re not his type and directly suggests you who to date
He looks at you as a friend when he jokingly says that you are not his type, he even tells you what type of a guy would be a great match for you!
A guy that considers you as a friend only, would have a conversation on what type of a person you are and what type of a guy would fit you perfectly.
Acting like a friend, he will help you to notice your flaws and give you a piece of advice on what you should do to attract that ‘specific’ type of guy.
7. He doesn’t make any effort to have (specifically)your attention
If your guy friend doesn’t make any effort to get your attention then he is not interested in being more than friends. A guy interested in you for more than friendship would:
1. Sit near to you when you are out with your friends;
2. Make an effort to look good when you’re around;
3. Do silly cute gestures to be in the spotlight, make you laugh, or just to grasp your attention.
If he’s not seeking your attention in particular, then he might not be seeking something romantic with you either.
8. His family and friends don’t tease him about you when you’re around
If a boy has strong feelings for you, trust me, his friends or family will know for sure.
In this case, try to analyze their attitude towards you. If his family considers you as one of his siblings and doesn’t act all weird and giggle then they know for sure that you are just friends.
If his friends do not tease him in front of you about you as a couple or liking you then you know that you are in the friend zone already.
9. He talks a lot with you about his future: you are not in it
If he constantly talks about his future and about his dreams that doesn’t mean he sees you as more than just a friend. Friends do talk with one another about dreams and future decisions.
However, if he is into you and wants to tell you that you mean to him more than just a friend, then he will take hints and tell you about plans that include you too. Or would tell you what impact would you have if you would be a part of his future.
10. He fist-bumps you or hugs you as one of his guys
His body language is no different towards you and his guy friends.
He hugs you or teases you in a way that he would do with his friends or his little sister; Sometimes he fists bump you, slightly hits you on the arm, or hugs you in a macho way that makes it look like you are out of breath.
Teasing is one of the ambiguous signs that women take from men as flirting.
When he doesn’t see you as more than a friend he might tease you and say something like: “Oh c’mon, you came here looking like this?”, “Hey Lauren, Superman called, he wants his identity back.” He’s not flirting!
11. Avoids doing the personal talking/He is not interested in your love life
If he wants to be just friends with you, he will be interested in your life and ask how you are doing: But your personal/dating life won’t be his priority.
One of the signs that he just wants you as a friend is being distant from your love life.
This does not mean that he would not discuss it with you, but will not be very interested in initiating the conversation about it or asking questions about whom you are dating at the moment.
12. He doesn’t bother much about details
One of the simplest forms of showing interest to someone: Remembering small details about you.
Friends and best friends indeed remember everything about one another. But when a guy likes you he will remember even the silliest and smallest details about you.
It might be that your guy friend will remember that you do not eat strawberries but he did not bother to know why you don’t eat them. Maybe you are allergic, maybe you do not like them… Who knows? He doesn’t.
13. You know you are only a friend when his texting is dry/short/precise – You can tell he’s not interested through text
Another way you can tell whether he considers you just a friend is through texting. Does he initiate the text conversations, how often does he text you, or what type of texts he sends to you?
You might know that you are seen as a friend through the text from the way he responds to you. If you send him cute, funny, and flirty texts, and he replies with short answers, it takes him forever to reply, or he doesn’t text with the same enthusiasm back, then he does not see you beyond platonic boundaries.
If the only time that he texts you is if he needs something to confirm, to get information, or even to ask you a favor, at this point, he might consider you just one of his texting buddies and nothing more.
14. He makes plans, yes! But with a group of friends that include you too
Changing our point of view here. Now he’s the one to do the inviting, but he does it, and he includes a group of friends not only you.
Nonetheless, if he is a shy guy and you are hanging out with an entourage, he will find a way to spend time with you. Making it easier for him and you not to look awkward.
He does not feel anything special about you in particular, if you have been hanging out for some time within a group and he never asked you out until now.
15. Your conversation consists of sports, getting a girl’s attention, manly jokes…
The moment your conversation consists of manly jokes, fart jokes, how to get Sarah’s attention, or if the Mets won the game the other night, that is a slammed sign saying PLATONIC.
If a guy likes you more than just a friend he will be interested to know more about you; what excites you, what makes you happy, what drives you wild, your fears, your life intentions, what do you think about him, everything!
This is not the case if conversations are super superficial.
What to do when he only sees you as a friend?
1. Think if you’ll be able to keep the friendship going or not. If it’d only be hurtful to you, then reconsider the idea of staying in the relationship.
2. If you choose to stay, manage your expectations. If you wish to keep the friendship going, drop the fantasies and expectations that one day he might get a spark of interest for you because he won’t.
3. Be understanding and appreciate his honesty. Don’t put pressure on him since you cannot force him to feel the same way about you.
4. Let him know of your decision and the reasons you took that decision. Communicate with him, do not just disappear without getting an explanation or confessing your feelings.
5. Don’t get stuck there, get moving on! Move on with life and things. Find activities that bring you joy and positivity.
You like someone but they only view you as a friend. Can you change their mind or should you give up?
No one wants to be part of the unrequited connection. If he has already confessed his platonic feelings to you, at first you should accept them. Learn to cope with the fact.
Then, if there is a little spark that you have noticed in him towards you it is worth it to just give him some time. If he has told you that:
- He isn’t searching for the one right now,
- He isn’t ready to commit to a relationship, or
- He is confused about you at the moment and does not know how to decide.
Give him some time to reflect. Yet if he confesses to you that he does not feel like romanticizing you or doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you, it is better to step out.
So many relationships have started with a friendship, but if he doesn’t feel like shifting your connection to something more, then this is not one of them.
FAQ: Are you just a friend, or do you mean something more to him?
1. What does a guy mean when he says that you are just a friend?
It means exactly what he says: you are just a friend and nothing more than that. By saying this he cannot take into consideration being in a romantic relationship with you.
2. Why does he see you as a friend and how to know it?
There are a few reasons why he does not see you as someone that he could be romantically involved with:
– He’s not ready for a relationship. He might be at that point of his life that does not want to have a serious relationship and does not know what to do about this.
– You’re not his type. Which doesn’t have to do anything about the way you carry yourself, it’s just you’re two different types that don’t fit each other as a couple.
– You remind him of his sister; or anyone else in his family, hence he can’t see you as somebody he’d be involved with romantically.
– It’s just something that he can’t force. There are people you care deeply about, but you just can’t see them more than a friend, it happens very often.
There is one sure thing among these unsure things: if he feels like being more than friends with you he will get past these reasons and make a move!
3. Can guys be just friends with girls they find attractive?
The answer is yes, guys can be just friends with girls or women they find attractive.
A guy can find a woman physically attractive and get over it with time. But, if a guy is emotionally and physically attracted to a woman then it will be difficult to keep things stable and platonically clear.
Some guys can’t resist women whom they find attractive based on their personality, whereas some guys can not resist physically attractive women.
The moment men learn and know how to manage their emotions and feelings towards the woman they are attracted to they will be friends just as with anyone else in the room.
4. My crush only sees me as a friend. How do I move on?
The best way of how you can get over this is to accept reality.
Chin up, try to not be demotivated, and recharge yourself. Speak about this topic with your friends or family and learn to move on step by step.
Remember: It is just a crush, you will get past it. Love is something different, if you loved someone and the guy loved you back, rejection will be much more difficult.
Note: If you do not feel at ease having this type of friendship, then it is better to move on.
No one wants to be seen as a friend by the guy that they like and being friend-zoned is not the best feeling in the world…
BUT, try to convey your feelings to him. You will know then if you want to move past this friendship and search for something better. It is better to be bold than sorry and stuck.