Unrequited love is hard to deal with and it’s also hard to heal from it too. Sometimes you may sit and wonder if love was present in your relationship.
Maybe he enjoyed your companionship, he loved being around you, admired the idea of you, but that type of ‘love’ is not enough to create a healthy relationship.
It takes courage to maintain it by balancing love, respect, and passion.
You can love someone so much but still, your relationship might not work perfectly or the way you want it to work.
The red flags that were present from the beginning of your relationship will be a reflection of your ex’s feelings towards you in the present and future.
The void that you feel in this relationship and the confusion are two main elements that stamp the operation of it.
To be more precise about this topic, here are 11 signs that he never loved you:
1. He never put you first
When a man loves you, he tries to find the balance between his life and yours. He wants to be vulnerable with you and know more about your other side, so he can adjust to it and make it work.
A man who puts himself first in these types of situations then is showing signs that he never loved you:
- He always put other things first instead of offering his help to you;
- Most of the time he put his needs before yours;
- He wasn’t very supportive of your decisions;
- He wasn’t interested in solving together your or even his issues;
- You initiated most of the dates or heartfelt conversations;
2. He liked only ‘the idea’ of you
Many men who have low self-esteem want to cover their void by turning their partner into someone that they’ll feel levitated with.
He might have seen you only as someone who completes his figure or personality.
If he tried to create a new image for you, not helping you to get better, but fulfilling his idea of perfection then he never loved you.
On the other hand, if he always criticized you for who you are then real love feelings weren’t included in that relationship.
3. He was never interested in meeting your friends or family
Friends and family are pieces of the puzzle that complete you. A guy who loved you would be flattered to introduce you to his entourage.
In a relationship introducing one another to each other’s entourages means upgrading it.
It is quite natural if your man doesn’t introduce you immediately to their friends or family.
Yet, if you have been part of a long-term relationship and he never bothered to introduce you then he wasn’t sure about his feelings towards you.
4. His feelings vanished immediately after the breakup
After the relationship was over you would do anything to make things work, right?
If he loves you genuinely then he’ll do everything to make this relationship work.
It is common for the dumper to feel relieved after the breakup.
If he gave up so easily after the breakup and never put effort into making things work out even later on then he has lost interest in the relationship.
Once, the interest is lost due to the lack of his love and will to redeem himself and the relationship.
5. He left without an explanation
Loving someone is some type of action but always loving them is a commitment.
There are multiple reasons why a relationship fails and why someone chooses to dump their partner.
If you were the only one to worry about your relationship doesn’t make him the one who never loved you.
One of the signs that he never loved you is leaving you without an explanation. No matter the situation, if he loved you then at least he would let you know about his boundaries and choose to walk away.
6. He didn’t try to get to know you better
One of the most initial signs that he never loved you is not wanting to connect with you emotionally and get to know you better.
Getting to connect emotionally with someone can be an issue for most men.
On the other hand, not being willing to do it after being in a long-term relationship is another issue.
~ He might be hurt by his previous relationship and never felt ready to commit to you but if he loved you then he would choose to take baby steps and open up.
~ He might not be good at expressing feelings and be vulnerable but if he loved you then he would ask for help to maintain the relationship.
7. You confused his kindness and care with love
Love is expressed in many forms and when you’re a part of a relationship you get carried away by a lot of feelings. Thus, choosing to be led by feelings.
In this case, one must say if a man cares about you and shows some kindness that is a form of love. Yet, some men might use it as a tool of flirtation with everyone.
This might be evident when you’re a part of a platonic relationship and then you choose to upgrade it to a romantic relationship.
Since a lot of mixed feelings are involved, he did love you but he never invested romantic feelings in this relationship.
8. He never mentioned the future
Talking about the future of the relationship is a very intimidating and sensitive topic for most men.
While being in a short-term relationship or while dating it is pretty common to not mention the future or expect for him to have mixed feelings.
If you were in a relationship for more than a year and he didn’t initiate this type of conversation then that means that he wasn’t that into you to build a future together.
9. He never initiated to upgrade the relationship
A man who loves you will want you to grow together and will wait for the right moment to upgrade the relationship.
If he liked to keep the conversation casual and always avoided dwelling on the topic of moving your relationship forward then he didn’t want to move forward.
No matter if he is afraid or he doesn’t want to upgrade the relationship, that means that he didn’t love you enough to grow together as one.
10. His energy drifted every time you were close
This is one of the initial red flags in a relationship that maybe you might have chosen to ignore at first.
Most men might be interested in you but be able to develop real feelings of love.
He might be interested in you because you completed his image, he felt safe by your side, or he felt important in your presence.
11. He made you feel small
Everyone has their ups and downs during a relationship but if he was always being mean to you then he didn’t feel that much for you.
If your ex always made you feel insecure and anxious in the relationship then he never loved you.
A man who loves a woman genuinely, he’ll support her and won’t make her feel indifferent.
You might have noticed his trait while being in a relationship but sometimes it is hard to distinguish once that you’re in love and being led by your feelings.
7 signs he will never love you…. (The initial red flags)
1. He never believed/believes in the notion of love
Manifesting love doesn’t mean only acting like it but believing in that notion by loving yourself first and then reflecting on it.
If he doesn’t believe in love then it doesn’t mean that he can’t love but he will always have that void that can’t elevate the relationship.
That missing piece will always make him bounce back and forth in your relationship.
He will always be stuck and bounce back from being on and off the relationship.
2. He wants to catch up just to fulfill his needs
When feelings aren’t being mutual then you start to doubt yourself and wonder if that is just a gut feeling.
If he wants to be around you only when he needs you and not because of love, it will be difficult for him to express the feeling of love later on.
A player doesn’t take the relationship seriously and he is never fully invested.
He might go in and out of your life whenever is suitable for him and not take responsibility for it.
Time to check the basics, more information is below:
3. He isn’t used to the idea of being loved
He’s scared of being vulnerable and accepting the fact that someone can care about him.
Self-criticism won’t let a man with low self-esteem let him be loved again or love again.
The fear and insecurity of getting hurt again and not being able to move on will prevent him from loving you in the future.
I’m not implying that this situation might never ever change but until he learns to love himself first then he’ll be able to love you properly in the future.
4. He doesn’t make an effort to understand your needs
One of the dead signs that he will never love you is not being able to listen to you.
It doesn’t mean to prioritize someone’s feelings and needs before you and call it love and sacrifice.
In a relationship, it’s important to give the needed attention so you can function as a unit and grow as an individual.
Being the only one that makes the effort to understand what he needs might drain your energy and make the relationship less interesting.
Note: Eventually, if he has the willingness to engage in the conversation and sacrifice then he will change in this aspect.
Yet, if he doesn’t care to make even the smallest effort then he will never be able to love you and navigate a healthy relationship.
5. You can’t be vulnerable around him
Being open to your partner is one of the traits of a healthy relationship.
Showing your vulnerable side and being loved for who you are that’s called pure love and cooperation.
If he has led you to be someone else when you’re with him and you felt small in his presence then he will never love you for who you are.
Keep in mind that not being able to be yourself in this relationship and always feeling lonely are signs of a toxic relationship.
Thus, it’s better to take a step back and reflect on your relationship so you can form a healthy relationship with yourself first.
6. He never tries to make you feel secure and safe
If you never felt that being in his arms was the most secure place in the world then it will never be like that.
If he never bothered to empathize with you, understand you, help in solving your problems, and be your shoulder to cry to then he will never love you.
Feeling like a stranger in a relationship will never change.
You need to reflect on this relationship and if he never makes an effort to be there for you then you better take a step back.
7. You were a part of a rebound relationship
It is very hard to be a part of a rebound relationship. It is a bittersweet experience that might leave you hurt and confused.
If he is using this relationship with you just to forget his ex and doesn’t develop true feelings for you then he will never be able to reflect properly on his feelings about you.
It’s known that a rebound relationship cannot create an authentic, romantic, and beautiful connection.
He is more connected to the idea of being in a relationship and finding the source to help him forget his ex.
How do I stop feeling less worthy after noticing he never loved me?
The main thing to do after noticing that he never loved you is to be able to not lose the love that you have for yourself.
At the beginning of the relationship and after that, his behavior might be taken as an act of love.
Sometimes we’re caught up in the ball of love that prevents us from seeing things the way they are.
The most important thing is to embrace reality and maintain a healthy relationship with yourself first.
1. Try not to force things.
It is quite understandable to feel mixed up and torn after noticing that he never had true feelings for you.
In this situation, it’s better to not force things that aren’t under our control.
2. Take a deep breath and try to face reality. Accepting that this relationship is over won’t reduce your own value or make you less worthy than your ex.
Not being needy and desperate and implementing No Contact can help you in healing yourself and gain the strength to move on.
3. Focus on dealing with your feelings. It’s better to immediately recognize your feelings and talk about them with your friends, family, or any counselor.
Venting to a person who might help you will keep you moving with your life.
This way, you won’t be stuck in the past and will embrace the present and future.
4. Pick up new hobbies and learn to feel good being by yourself.
The key to moving on from this heartbreak and the fact that he never loved you is by being able to accept yourself.
Try to improve yourself just because of you and not because of your ex. Once you feel good on your own skin then the pain will start slowly to fade.
5. Journal your thoughts. In order to express yourself freely, you can write down your thoughts.
Expression of how you’re feeling at that moment can help you a lot in releasing the pain from your body.
It can hurt a lot while you write down those thoughts, you might cry, and think like your heart is going to burst but you’ll feel better after a while.
6. Don’t jump into another relationship before learning to love yourself.
Rebound relationships are never a good idea in every situation.
You might feel powerful at the moment of entering that relationship and you might let your ex know that you’re winning this breakup.
Yet, not being able to solve the latter feelings can leave you hurt and even more confused.
Let’s get the last grip on this topic…..!
Has he never loved you or did he stop in the mid-way?
Sooner or later you’ll be able to notice the tiny red flags that show if he never loved you or if he will never love you.
Here are a few top tier signs to not ignore:
- He is indifferent in most of the cases;
- He treated you like a backup plan
- He never sacrifices his plans for you;
- He’s stuck on his ex;
- He never offer you the opportunity to enhance the relationship;
Yet, you can still pick up the pieces, be bold, turn the other cheek and learn to love yourself!
Never give up on love…..
Warm hugs,
Callisto
I ended a very toxic 5 year relationship and was blocked everywhere, he moved on within weeks . I have had to relearn to love who I am, I missed so many red flags even so far as our first month together.
I changed my number and left social media as he made his profile public for me to see hes all loved up.
It’s only been 3 months since the break up and I have never doubted my decision , I have been lonely but I only saw him weekends or holiday times as we lived a few hours apart.
I’m going through alot of bitter feelings at the moment , he never communicated or tried to talk our problems through so when I told him I couldnt carry on I was blocked , no words spoken from him and that’s how its remained, like I was nothing.
All his relationships ( 2 of them marriages)have failed with him being dumped..he has constantly rebounded because he believes he never does anything wrong.
Hes just reached 60 and thinks hes gods gift to women.
I truly believe you get to that point when you know you have to salvage your self worth and enough is enough.
I’m looking forward to my future, my shoulders feel so much lighter these days.♥️🌱
I’ve realised these past few weeks after a relationship of ten years was based on lies and dishonesty.
I’d rather be on my own then have to put up with another ten years with him but feeling on my own anyway.
It hurts bad when you realise you’ve wasted how many years with someone to realise they never loved you. The way I’ll meand myself is self love. Amazon order of pampered goods and my beautiful boys to help me get through my day.
To anyone reading this, I hope you find the strength to leave and love yourself again x
Exactly the same here and I cannot believe right now I can ever find another partner to love because I believed his lies for ten years. I only believe praying for one another works. I am praying for our complete healing so REAL love can work next time. <3