“If he loves you he sees, hears, values, and lastly (not least, not at all) respects your choices, decisions, preferences, and your entire being.”
We love love! Every one of us, and I personally believe, every being, in a way or another, desires to love and to be loved. It’s a fundamentally beautiful phenomenon.
How about your man though, does he love you? Well, perhaps he didn’t say it yet, but you’ll know even if he didn’t. His behavior and acts towards you will show it.
Some people do not show their love so knowing that someone loves you secretly, you have to be more careful to spot the signs.
He won’t be able to keep it hidden from you for long, even if he’s planning to. I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad you’re about to find something as beautiful as love in him.
Here are 17 true signs to tell he really loves you:
1. “Baby, I got you.”
He’s someone you can trust, and count on, and he proved it to you many times. You know a man really loves you when you feel like he’s got you; He shows you directly or indirectly, and he might even say it verbally.
Also, you can notice this in daily little tasks too. He’s handy, he helps you out with little chores or picks something up for you. He’s constantly telling you through his actions: “Baby, I got you.”
You can tell he loves you through the way he cares for you when:
- He puts effort to make you feel safe;
- He helps you out in even the smallest stuff;
- He made himself a place of comfort and peace for you.
2. He lets you in; he lets you see him
In other words, he lets his guard down, and lets you see underneath his surface of ‘strong’ and ‘powerful’ and ‘indestructible. In most cultures men are taught to be these undefeatable beings, they’re taught to hide their ‘weakness’ which according to a lot of societies is being emotional.
When he lets you in, really, and lets you see him exactly as he is, it means he’s willing to ‘surrender’ and feel safe handing you part of his vulnerability. Love is about surrendering. This is one of those strong signs a man loves you.
I’ll be more specific, you’ll know he loves you by the way he opens up if:
- He shows you his ‘weakness’ through feelings, emotions, and surrender;
- He apologizes for his wrongs;
- He doesn’t mind you seeing him be vulnerable and sensitive.
3. He wants to see and know what’s beneath the surface
When you talk, he listens, he’s engaged, and he asks questions: He wants to know what’s beneath the surface.
At the very beginning of a relationship/stages of dating the people involved getting their signals by one another’s appearance (looks, way of talking, the sound of the voice, etc): awing at one another’s appearance and mostly superficial things (hobbies, likes, dislikes).
Once he wants to know more than your likes and your dislikes; he’s in for love. He wants to know everything that shaped you as a person; He does indeed love what he’s exploring beneath the surface!
You can tell if a man really loves you through wanting to see and know more about you if:
- He remembers details you share with him, like a lot of them;
- He cares to know “How are you today?”;
- He sticks around for the beauty of your personality.
4. Laughter, there’s laughter part of your days
You do know he’s in love with you when he makes you laugh and gets joy from your laughter. He might even tease you every now and then. Teasing is one of our childish parts which we don’t show with just everyone.
He cares to see you happy, smiling, and enjoying your time with him. If he doesn’t love you he doesn’t really bother for that part.
So, a few of the signs combined with joy and happiness that show he loves you:
- Your joy matters to him, it’s one of his priorities;
- He takes every chance to make you happy;
- He finds your joy nourishing for his soul.
5. “I miss you.” & “I just called to hear your voice…”
I talked about men and emotions earlier in the article. Saying “I miss you” is another way of showing you his vulnerability. This is even stronger because this particular vulnerability is caused because of you.
Now, he knows you can ‘use it against him’ and he still chooses to give you that ‘weapon’. He’s giving in. This is a beautiful thing.
You can notice this behavior indicating his love for you:
- When he calls out of the blue because “He misses hearing your voice”;
- When you didn’t see each other for a long time, and he calls you or texts you often to tell you he misses you;
- When he texts every day to check-in that you’re okay and got the daily dose of care from him for the day.
6. He cares about your well-being & he doesn’t want to see you hurt
One of the early signs that a man loves a woman is when he cares about her well-being (health), and her feelings. He doesn’t do anything to intentionally hurt her, as he is now emotionally connected to her.
If he can’t stand seeing you hurt, if he takes care of you and wants you to eat healthier, brings you pomegranates when your blood results showed you were slightly anemic, or even just covers you with a blanket so you don’t catch a cold, he loves you.
If I wasn’t specific enough, here’s how to tell if a man loves you through showing care:
- You’ve been feeling safe and sound around him for a long time now;
- You’ve been feeling taken care of by him;
- He doesn’t do things to purposely hurt you, he’d never do it.
7. You became one of his priorities
If he loves you he will put you in his list of priorities, you will matter to him. You will be one of the important people to him, one of the ones close to his heart.
It’s clear through his actions that you’re in his mind, that he thinks well of you, and that he’s willing to do anything to contribute to your well-being, happiness, and to fulfill your needs.
Men are protectors and providers by nature, so are women, don’t get me wrong, but men have that instinct more developed (it shows, even more, when he loves you and cares about you). When a man loves you and you become one of his priorities:
- It feels like you’re the one for him;
- He drops things when you call him for help;
- He’s willing to put your needs before his.
8. “We” replaced “I” for a long time now
When he says “we” instead of “I” when talking about the future, he’s in for the long haul. Sometimes he does it subconsciously, sometimes not. If he’s in love, he will say it either way. I believe you get the point. If he isn’t already in love, he’s at least falling in love with you.
If a man loves you he’ll see a future with you, he’ll plan things that are months ahead of you.
Think about it, would he or anyone plan something months on if they’d think about splitting or not seeing the person they’re planning with again?
To make my point clearer, when a guy loves you and shows it through “We” instead of “I”:
- He makes plans for the long-term future with you;
- He considers you as a part of his life;
- Figuratively, he integrates you with himself: his “I” becomes “We” or “Us”.
9. He’s respectful
You can tell he’s respectful if he doesn’t try to impose your choices, decisions, or even preferences. Instead, he respects them, he also respects your boundaries, and what you present as a person.
If he loves you he sees, hears, values, and lastly (not least, not at all) respects your choices, decisions, preferences, and your entire being.
Some signs that your man loves you deeply through his way of showing respect to you:
- He puts effort to meet and take care of your needs;
- He understands whenever you have opposite opinions from his;
- He values, sees and hears you as a person.
10. He’ll drop the judgment
Psychologically explained, once we fall in love we start lacking judgment towards the person we fell for.
We tend to put the judging filter down when we love someone. So, a man will look at you and not see you as perfect, instead, he will see everything you are and not be judgmental about it.
He will see the ‘weird’ side, the ‘imperfections’, everything really, and totally love them. He loves you. Here’s how to know if he loves you through lack of judgment towards you:
- He’s all positive, and joyful, and happy around you;
- He admires your behavior when you’re entirely yourself;
- You feel accepted and free to be exactly who you are around him.
11. “I’m here for you.” & “I’m so proud of you!”
Another way to know he loves you is to see how supportive he is of you. When he loves you he will show support, and he will be joyful for your achievements.
If he really loves you, your success and achievements will be a source of happiness for him just as much as they are for you. And the way he reflects this, makes you want to share ‘the good news’ with him first. You can tell he loves you and shows it through support when:
- He listens and understands your goals and dreams;
- He supports you in any way he can (emotionally, financially, etc) to achieve them;
- He gets excited and happy for your success.
12. You met important people in his life & vice versa
A man that loves you will introduce you to ‘his people’, friends, or family no matter how ‘weird’ they might be.
He’ll also want to meet ‘your people’, he will be curious to know who are the people that stood beside you, who helped in shaping your amazing personality.
Here’s how you know if a man is in love with you by paying attention to meeting important people in each other’s lives:
- He makes effort to impress people close to your heart;
- ‘His people’ are very nice to you, clearly, he told them a lot about you;
- ‘Your people’ are happy for you, they notice he loves you.
13. Future is on the table
He might say something indirect that has to do with moving in together or going for a vacation together. He can do these directly too. He wouldn’t do this with someone unless he feels a strong connection with them.
Here’s how to tell if he really loves you on the way he treats the topic of the future with you:
- He seems excited when he talks about the future with you;
- He asks you about where you see your life going, whether you like the thought of marriage (not with him specifically), or whether you like having kids or not;
- He’s investing time, emotions, and effort into the relationship.
14. He’ll put effort to solve problems in the relationship
A man in love, instead of ignoring the problems he tries to solve them. He commits to making things work because he just can’t afford to lose this beautiful being.
He will do what it takes to make things work, or at least, he will try. You can tell he actually loves you and is putting effort into the relationship when:
- He’s sacrificing and compromising;
- He provides what he’s capable of;
- He sticks with you through tough times.
15. He’s showing healthy levels of jealousy
When your boyfriend loves you he’ll be showing some healthy signs of jealousy. This for some of you might sound a little odd, but it’s actually in our genes to be a little jealous.
Our cavemen and cavewomen ancestors developed jealousy for rather ‘primitive’ reasons. However, it stuck with the human race for years and years. That rather ‘primitive’ jealousy still is part of the daily lives in which the internet & civilization are actually a thing.
Here’s how you can tell he’s being jealous at healthy levels:
- He asks a little bit more questions about your guy friends;
- His facial expressions change a little when other men approach you;
- He tells you he’s a bit jealous in particular cases.
16. He considers your opinions, thoughts, and advice
When he considers your opinions, thoughts, and advice it means he values you as a person, and values your opinions, thoughts, and advice.
Here’s how you can tell he appreciates and needs your thoughtful advice in his life:
- He listens when you advise him on something;
- He practices your advice;
- He’s thankful for it.
17. You sense it: “I love him and he loves me”
When love is truly there from his side, and yours, you’ll sense it. You’ll feel a certain way when you’re in his presence. You catch yourself saying “He’s in love with me”. To be more clear about what I’m trying to say:
- You can feel it in the way he kisses you;
- You feel safe, and genuinely loved by him;
- You’re not insecure when you’re around him.
My man loves me: confirmed!
You can tell he loves you by his body language, by the way he looks at you, the way he cares, and accepts you.
He’s willing to put effort, to be selfless, to open up and be vulnerable around you. That’s a man in love, that’s how you tell that a guy loves you.
You’ll feel it and see it in the words he says to you, and most importantly in his actions towards you.
I’m about to explain what it’s called non-verbal language or body language that a man shows when he at least likes you or is interested in you. Here:
His Pupils Dilate When He Looks at You
Pupil dilation is a natural reaction of the eyes depending on how much light the eyes are exposed to. However, pupil dilation also occurs when strong emotions are in play.
Like seeing something exciting, or something ‘threatening’, they dilate for the eye to get more light in and ‘have a better look’ at the exciting/threatening object.
In this case, they’re seeing someone who brings them excitement, hence their pupils dilate when they see you (if you bring excitement to them, and if they are attracted to you).
He Mirrors You
He does it subconsciously – things like yawning, ‘copying’ your movements (e.g touching your hair), taking a similar posture as you, and so on. It shows he is engaged, he has an attraction/feelings for you, even though he does it subconsciously.
Test him: Look at your posture and see if he has the same as you. Or touch your hair, or lean in and see if he mirrors any of your movements.
He’s All Touchy
Touching is part of body language. I’m not talking just about the sexual touch, I’m talking about the small touch of the hand, the cheek – He finds ways to touch you when you’re doing the most random things (e.g play with your hair when you’re on the phone, or holding your hand when you’re laying down together, etc).
Fun Fact: Touching releases Oxytocin (also known as the love hormone), which is associated with bonding, attraction, and love.
He Stands Straight
It is part of their biology to show themselves off, get attention, show that they’re fertile, through taking a more ‘dominant’ posture, like standing straight, with squared-off shoulders, and so on.
He doesn’t do this willingly, so you mustn’t take this as a show-off-movement, take this as a positive sign instead. It is one of the odd signs for sure, but once it connects with the others you can take this one very positively. If not love you, the least this sign shows is attraction, meaning he’s on a good way.
FAQ – Signs he loves you: does he really?
1. What are the signs of love?
There are many signs of love, however, I’ll list a few below:
- Honesty & sincerity;
- A feeling and need to be in the presence of the one you love;
- A deep sense of care about their feelings;
- A deep sense of care for their well-being and health, etc.
You can tell a man is falling for you because of the way he looks at you, the way he takes initiative, the way you spend more time together, you can feel a stronger connection between you two building.
3. Did he love me?
If he showed the above signs, then he did. To sum them up a little:
- If he tried to fight for the relationship (i.e. made effort to make it work by sacrificing and compromising);
- If he talked about having a future with you;
- If he let you in and let you see his vulnerability;
- If he was respectful and caring towards you;
- If you were one of his priorities;
Then he probably did love you. However, I suggest that you move on from this question, and heal. Start a self-love journey, and take good care of yourself.