Not everybody puts their climbing gear on and goes to the highest mountain peak they can find to shout “I LOVE YOU!”.
Some guys like to keep it low-key and scrutinize the situation before making their move…that is if they ever decide to confess.
You’d be surprised just how sneaky some men are when it comes to hiding their feelings, so some of the signs might go over your head if you’re not careful enough.
1. He consistently asks to spend time together.
Whether it is texting the whole day away, having long calls, or asking you out on dates doesn’t matter. What matters is that he wants to be together.
Take a step back and reflect—does he hit you up every day to do something, without fail?
When a guy develops feelings (albeit he doesn’t say it) he’ll do whatever he can to stay consistent with the woman he loves, as she’s the only one he deems worthy of his time.
- We also have the fear of having our crush talk to someone else instead. He’s being this eager because he wants to eliminate the competition.
But mainly, when a guy reaches out to you every day, it’s because he’s in love.
2. He is very protective of you.
Whenever you’re in a bind, he comes to your rescue and is even ready to get aggressive for your sake.
He’s the first person to jump to your aid when someone is badmouthing or getting all touchy-feely with you.
It’s not every day that you’re willing to put yourself in danger for someone else, and when you do, it’s for someone you truly love.
3. He overexplains himself.
Overexplaining is a very positive sign in this aspect because it shows he doesn’t want you to misunderstand anything he says and form a negative opinion as a result.
For instance, whenever he tells you he’s going out with someone, he starts clarifying how that “someone” is a MALE friend.
He feels the need to overexplain himself to some extent—not because you’re pressuring him, but because he loves you.
4. He looks for small ways to help you.
Big gestures in this context are a given he loves you, but the same thing goes for smaller ones.
A few instances would be if he offers to fix your brand-new furniture or tag along while grocery shopping.
The point is that he’s always looking for ways to be helpful to you in an attempt to make life easier: to me, that’s about as clear as it gets!
5. He puts your needs ahead of everyone else’s.
Just look at how he treats others vs. you—does he evidently treat you with care and tenderness, obviously prioritizing your happiness?
Does he always cancel his plans with friends as soon as you ask him to come over? This means he is putting your needs ahead of his and everyone else’s.
He’s always willing to compromise for your sake when it comes to your relationship, even doing something he might dislike.
To him, your comfort is all that matters; catering to your needs is his way of expressing his affection.
6. He initiates your dates around 90% of the time.
It doesn’t have to be 90% exactly, but if this guy is the one prompting your outings, there’s definitely something going on.
As opposed to you being the only one begging to spend time together, the initiative on his part is not something to be ignored.
If anything, his readiness indicates he wants your attention all for himself…and that isn’t how you treat someone you’re *just* friends with.
7. He seems to care about you an awful lot.
Care is one of the most important signs when it comes to a man who’s trying to keep his love a secret, and you can’t deny it.
- He is always there for you when you’re down, ready to drive for hours just so that you don’t go through stuff alone.
He offers a helping hand when you need it the most, regardless of whether it is comforting you with his delicate words or helping you carry heavy items.
8. You’re the first one to hear about good or bad news.
Good news because he wants to share his happiness with the person he loves, and bad news because you’re the only one who can comfort him.
For the very same reasons, we run to the people dearest to us whenever something significant happens because we want to include them.
What you need to take away from this is that this guy views you as someone important—someone he wants in his life for a long time.
9. He obeys your every order.
Okay, “obeying” might be a bit far-fetched but I’m sure you’ve noticed he never tells you no if he genuinely loves you.
You want to grab spicy food although his stomach can’t handle it? You got it.
What about watching a movie that bores him out of his mind? He’s already on his way to booking your tickets.
He loves you so he wants you to have your way; he would hate for you to feel anything short of satisfaction while being with him.
10. He puts a lot of thought behind his gifts.
The New York Times explains how context is everything when it comes to gift-giving.
You could drop thousands for a present your partner might not be particularly interested in, but meaningful gifts are different.
Are there times when you excitedly tell this guy about how much you want a certain item, only for him to purchase that item each time?
Sounds like gift-giving might be his love language, and he’s expressing his love by getting you what you want.
11. A flirty demeanor.
Is he flirting with you? Because you don’t flirt with crushes only, you also do it with the love of your life!
This means that if he compliments you, oozes sexual energy, playfights with you, and does other flirtatious acts, he might be hiding deeper feelings.
- Be careful, though! This applies only to the guys whose nature isn’t flirty (meaning you’re the only one he flirts with).
12. He gets uncomfortable when you mention another man.
Let’s say you tell him you’re going out with your guy friend, and his face suddenly drops.
He starts asking multiple questions about the guy in question and tries to find out how you really feel about him.
“Who is he? Are you two a thing? Do you like him?!”
If he’s getting this jealous, he’s most likely loving you in secret, otherwise you just don’t get jealous over a friend!
13. He won’t even look another woman’s way.
You’re the only one getting this special treatment, and that’s reason enough to conclude he’s madly in love with you.
He doesn’t talk to other girls this much or get overprotective over them for 2 reasons:
You’re his romantic interest and he doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea.
When push comes to shove, we don’t have the patience to treat everyone lovingly built into us—when we do differentiate one single person from the rest, it’s always someone we’re in love with.
14. Listening and remembering.
Most of the time, people who pretend to be listening are simply waiting their turn to speak.
There’s a difference between *actually* listening to someone and waiting to chime in, and you can tell if he remembers stuff.
If he does remember every single important thing you tell him (e.g. your birthday, favorite color, or animal), then he does care.
Doing the listening part of a conversation is not something we as humans are fond of—that part of ours is reserved for special people.
15. Only you can cheer him up.
His mood depends on you, whether it be for the better or worse.
No matter how bad of a day he’s having, your sole presence is enough to cheer him up. Quite powerful, don’t you think?
It goes the other way around too: he takes each argument and cold shoulder you give him very hard.
16. He’s taken a liking to your interests.
Because he wants you to think he’s the one for you, he’ll start pretending to be interested in your hobbies:
- Sports;
- Type of music;
- TV show genre;
- Food, and so forth.
More often than not, people are seeking romantic partners whom they share a lot in common with—this is a general truth he knows.
He’s taking this theory and implementing it for some brownie points!
17. He wants to be with you during special occasions.
Doesn’t matter if it’s his birthday and it’s custom for him to be spending it with his close relatives or buddies…you’re all he wants.
If your guy friend keeps including you in the happiest days of his life, it means he knows you’re only going to make them better.
He’s welcomed you in, in other words, in a way that applies to you only—you might also find him very enthusiastic whenever you’re having a special day as well.
18. People keep shipping you two.
Do people keep telling you that you two would make a good couple, or that the man in question is obviously head over heels for you?
I’m assuming he’s your friend, and as such, his feelings might be going over your head; this is where you might find the opinions of others useful.
Pay close attention to how his friends react around you: he’s probably secretly in love if his friends cutely make a ruckus whenever you pass by.
The body language of a man who loves you secretly: What you need to know.
A man’s body is sincere when it comes to his feelings
- 1. Constantly staying close to you. When he comes close to you in group settings in order to have more alone time.
- 2. Physical touch. When a guy hugs, kisses, or just makes sure your bodies are touching, it’s safe to say he’s quite smitten!
- 3. Smiling/joyous facial expression. Does this guy always have an adorable smile plastered on his face whenever you’re together? Could be love, especially if he usually has a stern facial expression.
- 4. Nervousness. Fidgeting, sweating, blushing, and lack of eye contact—nervousness is one of the signs a shy guy is trying to hide his love for you.
- 5. Fixing his appearance. He fixes his hair, adjusts his clothes, and makes sure he smells amazing because he wants you to find him attractive.
- 6. Mirroring. Mirroring one’s body language is an effective way of closing the gap: it makes two people closer while also creating a never-seen-before chemistry.
- 7. Intense eye contact. It can’t possibly get more obvious a guy has the hots for you than this. Not being able to take his eyes off of you, I mean.
- 8. Raised eyebrows and dilated pupils. Both of these involuntary actions are carried out subconsciously when we are attracted to someone, so pay heed to his eye area.
Why do men keep their feelings a secret?
Quite the doozie, I know—why keep such a beautiful thing that might lead to endlessly good things a secret?
Well, a lot of men believe that no good will come out of their confession in one way or another.
You are in a relationship.
Some men (although not all) will keep their feelings hidden if they think the person they love is already in a happy relationship.
They don’t want to indulge in any home-wrecking!
He is in a relationship.
In an alternate universe, the fact HE is in a relationship is reason enough to keep his love a secret.
He’s not a cheater and doesn’t even know who to pick between you and his partner.
He’s not ready for a relationship.
Maybe he broke up with his long-time partner not too long ago or is too busy to start a new relationship.
Whatever it is, believing you’re not in the best place for a relationship is enough reason not to confess your feelings.
He doesn’t know if you feel the same way.
Nobody enjoys confessing and getting rejected, and that fear of rejection might be preventing him from spilling his heart out.
He doesn’t want to lose your friendship.
If he tells you he loves you, you get together, and end up breaking up, it’s safe to say your friendship will be in jeopardy.
He thinks a relationship between you two is doomed to fail.
Moving right along, he might be biting his tongue if he’s developed feelings despite not being a good match for each other.
He doesn’t do commitment.
People with a fear of commitment stay as far as possible from the word “Love” which could potentially lead to something bigger.
They don’t do relationships.
It would be his first time telling someone “I love you”.
On a wholesome note, men who’ve never been in a relationship before and/or have little to no experience in romance might shy away from confessing.
They’re shy, anxious, or just confused as to what needs to be done!
– Do you want him to confess? Lay the groundwork!
If you want his secret not to be a secret anymore, you need to give him something to work with.
Drop hints you’re into him as well by flirting!
He might be hesitating due to not knowing how you feel about him, and flirting should get the job done.
You can do it subtly through compliments, asking him out for a coffee, slyly hinting at the fact you’re single, etc., or whatever you think might work.
However, if you’re not interested, you need to tell him upfront before his love gets out of hand.
Good luck!
Callisto.
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