We know what the wise men say, but you can’t really blame him when he can’t help falling in love, can you?
Ah, it’s that sweet sweet phase of the relationship… two people slowly falling for one another and none of them being aware about the feelings of the other. Welcome hun!
Love is an amazing thing to experience. Though because of the ways we’re taught of what love is, and what it comes with, it may seem scary at times. Hence we choose to not tell, or try to hide the sometimes very obvious: we are in love.
In this article you will find:
What is your definition of ‘falling in love’? – How healthy is your point of view on love?
Before we get into the signs, let’s talk about the very misunderstood definition of falling in love and/or love.
It is true that the media had a huge impact on the way we view love in the modern days. I’m talking about romantic love, yes.
Movies, songs, series, novels, have set some sort of unrealistic pointviews by which we view love. We have unrealistic expectations on what love is and what love should be.
In real life falling in love is about some hormones, thoughts, opinions, views, memories combined together. It just happens naturally, and it flows.
Unlike what we’ve been taught to see in the movies, that love is something induced by games or gestures, and makes everything perfect.
It entirely depends on the people falling for one another. Their way of communication, and their ways of perceiving things (including the communication and the signs they get from one another).
According to Richard Schwartz for The Harvard Gazette in an article ‘When love and science double date’, love has different phases. In the beginning, there’s a higher level of hormones, which then moderate as time passes.
So, before you get into the signs…
Consider that they are based on a few standards, that not necessarily everyone has to fit in. We all express ourselves, thoughts, differently, and so do we perceive everything differently based on a lot of factors.
Considering this, you now know that he and you give different signs differently, and perceive them differently, are two different people that don’t necessarily fit into a particular standard.
1. There’s something about the way he looks at you
He will take his time to look at you, whether you’re looking back at him or not. I’m sure that the feeling is familiar to you as well: it is those moments when you’re looking at this person and realizing how lucky you feel to be around them, and how much you appreciate their presence in your life, and you can’t take your eyes off them.
It’s just like that Sinatra song, “Can’t take my eyes off of you” which then continues to him screaming, well, singing louder, (my apologies): “I love you baby!”
I believe I described it well enough for you to know what I’m talking about. He will give that look, that “can’t take my eyes off of you”, you just don’t hear the part where he says “I love you baby!”
So, a few things to note:
1. There’ll be this glow on his eyes, it’s like his eyes are smiling too when he’s looking at you. It’s called love, honey.
2. He’ll take his time and look at you for as long as he can.
3. He might just do the number one, and number two when you’re not looking.
2. He’s been very thoughtful lately
It’s what love is mostly built upon: caring and kindness towards oneself or another. Perhaps he texts you everyday, perhaps he calls every day, or simply finds ways to know that you’re okay.
When a man is falling, he will be the home builder, the one that wants to take care of everything, he will be gentle and kind in one way or another.
Now, me and you know that each one of us has our own unique ways of expressing kindness and thoughtfulness, hence he might find his little ways to do so.
He’ll try to take care of your problem with your laptop, help you with fixing the leg of that one chair in the kitchen (we all know the chair), when he finds out you’re sick he’ll ask if there’s someone around to take care of you, he will even offer help with the moving out.
It’s on the little things. And you can’t help but notice that he’s, indeed, becoming very thoughtful lately.
3. You feel the connection building – It is requited
It is undeniable, the feeling of ‘home’ you give one another. It is that warm cozy feeling whenever you’re together. It’s called connection.
The way you look at each other, the way you understand one another so well, how you appreciate one another’s presence so oh so much. It’s called connection.
You feel it, it’s undeniable. You feel what you’re feeling for him, and you feel and instinctively feel what he’s feeling for you. It’s in the air, it’s everywhere.
Let’s get to the next sign before this becomes way too cheesy to handle.
4. He’s starting to love your ‘flaws’ – Lack of judgement
It is one of the unquestionable signs he’s in love. In fact this is a sign explained physiologically. When one is falling in love, it’s like the brain shuts down the filter of judgement.
We see the flaws, we do, we’re not blind to them, but the beautiful thing is that we accept them as they are, and we like them, even love them.
In this case your handsome knight might as well see that you don’t take as much good care of your castle, but he won’t mind that, because he’s falling in love.
He won’t judge the fact that you left your gowns on the floor, he won’t judge you for having messy hair in the morning, he won’t even judge you for not being a princess nor having a castle at all!
Jokes aside, he’s falling when he’s accepting everything you are, and everything you present to him as yourself, he won’t be judgemental towards it, instead he’ll admire everything in front of him.
5. He’s being open to change – His words match his actions
He talks the talk and he walks that motherf*cking walk, baby!
When someone’s falling in love they will notice things that upset their partner, or that are hurtful to their partner, hence they choose to take action and try to change whatever behavior is causing them[partner] to get upset.
He says so, and he does so. Also, you notice him doing exactly what he says. For example: he said he’ll do something but later on, he will do it, no matter how late and no matter how.
When two people are in love this sort of sync happens, because of this nerve called the vagus nerve. It has a part in everything you do. Hence when in love, you tend to be open to the thought of making sacrifices. Source: Healthline
Note: If you chose to communicate to him about something that he does/says that upsets you, and he changed that, it is a super healthy way of solving things. But if he did something that didn’t upset you, or didn’t like you, it’s just a trait of his personality that you don’t like and you asked him to change it, then I’d suggest you give it a try to understand and accept instead of trying to change what he is, and what he presents as a person.
6. He’s almost always the one initiating texts, calls, conversations
He’ll want to hear, he’ll want to listen, he’ll want to read everything you have to say about anything, he’ll want to be in touch with you if not constantly, consistently. He will also show signs he likes you through text.
How your day went, what you think of politics, science, music, weather… I’m telling you: ANYTHING. He can’t wait until you text him, he will text you and keep touch with you, if not everyday, at least a few times a week, depending on what stage of the relationship you’re in.
He’ll find room for those conversations, that’s why the starting of the conversations seem a little weird at times, I know, it’s because he’ll think of even the most ridiculous thing just to start a conversation with you. To stay in touch, to have the feeling of connection with you.
7. He’s looking to get exclusive with you
If he’d tell you that, it’d be a solid sign, obviously, it’s a sign smashed on your face while someone’s yelling for you to wake up. However, if he didn’t tell you there are signs that tell you:
He doesn’t look at other people – not because you are super magnetic that he can’t even turn his head in other directions, but because he doesn’t feel like doing so. Because he feels fulfilled and sees everything in you.
He doesn’t feel good when he sees someone trying to flirt with you – and you can’t really blame him can ya?! I’m not talking about possessive behavior, no. I’m talking about that facial expression that lets you know he’s not feeling very comfortable with the fact that someone’s trying to flirt with the person he’s falling in love with.
I have a feeling you’re familiar with what I’m talking about, eh? The jealousy – I’m talking about jealousy.
When he mentions other people (with room for doubt), he finds ways to not let you in doubts – that’s because he doesn’t want you to think that he’s involved with other people. Perhaps he mentions something here and there just to tease you and make you a little jealous, but when it’s the real deal, he will make sure that you don’t misunderstand things.
It wouldn’t be very convenient for you to make the person you’re falling in love with think that you’re seeing other people, and make them think they can see other people but you, wouldn’t it?
8. He starts opening up
The good and the bad, he will share it. He will slowly start opening up about whatever his past was made of, about the present, and about the future.
What shaped him into what he is now, what is making him joyful (including you), what is making him upset, sad, angry, what would make him joyful in the future. He will share with you, because he will feel comfortable, as he’s not judging you and feels and knows that you won’t be judging him either.
His walls start tumbling down (I know, “Halo” by Beyonce), as he’ll show you his true self to you.
I bet you know the feeling of letting go of whatever shade, filter, wall there is that doesn’t let him see what you are. He’s doing exactly this, as he’s not afraid anymore.
9. Things you do and say are important to him
Here’s the thing, beautiful people: “things you do and say are important to him” are often misunderstood with “you say cheese, it’s going to be cheese; you say cuddles, it’s going to be cuddles”.
What the sentence “things you do and say are important to him” actually means is that he will take into consideration everything you do and say. He will be respectful towards whatever you communicate to him.
There are so many things you can do with your boyfriend to celebrate love even if you haven’t confessed it yet.
I don’t want you to get mad when it’s not going to be cheese when you say cheese, I want you to respect that he respects himself too, and respect that the relationship isn’t one sided. You don’t want to be controlling or possessive, I also don’t want you to settle for disrespect nor anything that crosses your limits.
10. He gets triggered easily – He’s starting to get fragile
Obviously he cares what you think, and to be more precise in this case, he cares what you think about him. So the smallest action, the lightest word, will affect him one way or another.
He’s gonna get all baby when it comes to you, one look, one touch, anything you do will trigger something that’ll make him either “cry his a*s of” or “laugh his a*s off”, or “start an argument of?”
As I said above in this article things you do and say are important to him, you are important to him, and of course, he will pay attention to what you do and say, and of course, he will be fragile.
You too, know the feeling I believe.
11. He told his friends about you
What more do you expect? To tell you he’s falling? Obviously, you say.
Of course you can’t know what he talks about when you’re not present, you’ll know he told his friends about you when he told you he did. Now, this is the part where we can make the assumptions. Gosh, we love making assumptions, and we couldn’t care any less!
So, he let you know he told his friends about you, but he didn’t quite tell you about WHAT he told them about you. The assumptions? He told his friends everything he couldn’t tell you.
Including he’s falling hard for you? Probably. Even though wise men say only fools rush in? Probably.
… What can you do, he can’t help falling in love with you.
You might also like: Fun, Unique, and Awesome Surprises For Your Boyfriend
How to make him confess he’s falling in love?
You don’t. It is as simple as that.
I’m sick and tired of all the love gurus guiding people to ‘trigger the hero instinct in him’, or to ‘give him space a.k.a silent treatment’, or other bullsh*t that will eventually fade as the real in the relationship kicks in.
Let it flow naturally, he will tell you when he’s ready. You will even feel it more genuine when it comes out of his mouth because he thought and took the courage to confess one of the most beautiful things you can confess to someone, instead of getting something you knew was coming, something you desperately tried to trigger in order for it to come your way.
Try to experience everything the relationship comes with, as it is beautiful when it is pure, untouched, and clean of mind games. Don’t rush it, instead wait and enjoy every single bit.
Are you falling for him too?
If yes, then congratulations on experiencing one of the most beautiful things you can experience as a human: love.
If you don’t quite have your definition of love, these signs can help you:
- You feel selfless, you want to give and share everything as long as it makes him joyful.
- You are triggered easily by the things he does/says. It affects your mood.
- You stop doing things hurtful to him.
- You get a little jealous – you don’t like the thought of him being with another person.
- It gets difficult to imagine the future without him being included.
Listen to yourself, and be present, you’ll just know. Love is easy, and it flows, and it fills our hearts with feelings and emotions that make us experience what being human is like.
Do not be afraid to tell him that you love, they are no bad sides to doing this.
Questions You Asked Too Often Making it Hard Not to Answer Them
“How quickly do men fall in love?”
Scientifically speaking it only takes a fifth of a second for the love hormones to kick in, this according to The Journal of Sexual Medicine. The soup of love hormones is made out of: Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Serotonin.
However, it depends a lot on the way that he is formed as a personality, on his beliefs about love, his sensitivity, and a bunch of other factors.
So, however we look at it, men fall in love relatively quickly: it takes a fifth of a second for the love soup hormones to kick in, but before they do it might take some seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, in rare cases perhaps years.
“Will a guy wait for a woman he loves?”
According to a study published back in 2011, men fall in love faster than women, despite the belief that it’s the other way around. So to answer your question, it depends a lot on the guy, but he will wait for a woman he loves.
We don’t know how long he would wait, as it entirely depends on the way he thinks and sees love, how he feels, his mental health/state, etc.
“What makes him fall in love with you?”
I don’t know, you tell me! Aren’t you aware of your awesome personality? … and your awesome looks?
Falling in love happens naturally, you’re both attracted to each other and you both appreciate one another’s presence, things just flow. It also depends on your connection and your ways of communication with one another.
If you’re looking for a secret “that makes him instantly fall in love with you”, trust me, there’s no such thing. It takes chemistry, which is something natural and involuntary that occurs between people, it takes a ‘spark’, another natural and involuntary thing, it takes hormones, looks, talks, and thoughts. It’s not just about waking up the hero within him. Trust me.
“Why isn’t he telling me he’s in love with me?”
For probably the same reasons you’re not telling him either:
- He could be afraid that it is not reciprocated and that things may turn into something else. He doesn’t want to ‘ruin’ this.
- He could be insecure about something, and might think you’re out of his league.
- He could be overthinking and not finding the right timing to tell you.
- He perhaps isn’t in love with you (unless he shows the above signs).
He’s all dreamy, caring, kind, protective, listening, fragile even, opening up, and of course, loving. That’s it, that’s the conclusion.
Enjoy sharing one of the most beautiful things together.