Richard Schwartz—for The Harvard Gazette—said that love has different phases.
In the beginning, there’s a higher level of hormones, which then moderate as time passes.
Welcome to one of the sweetest phases of a relationship: two people slowly falling for one another and none of them being aware of the feelings of the other.
A study published back in 2011, showed that men fall in love faster than women, despite the belief that it’s the other way around.
Falling in love happens naturally, you’re both attracted to each other and you both appreciate one another’s presence, things just flow.
Is your man falling in love with you? Here are 17 signs he is!
1. He’s highly empathic to your feelings.
One of the effects of falling in love is being highly empathic to your partner’s feelings and needs.
There’s a high sense of altruism. You start putting your partner first, even before yourself.
Therefore, one of the earliest signs that he’s falling in love is his being highly empathic to your feelings.
Not only does he feel for you, but he also tries to make your life happier. You can tell he’s highly empathic to your feelings if he
- Knows when you’re happy or not;
- Does his best to make your life more joyful;
- Tries finding solutions to your issues when you’re feeling sad;
2. Your happiness and comfort are prioritized.
Scientists have shown that love has different moods and stages.
When falling in love, we tend to act in particular ways due to hormonal level changes in the brain when falling in love.
You know he’s falling in love with you once he starts becoming selfless in the relationship.
He prioritizes your happiness, comfort, and joy. You can know this is the case through the little things he does such as:
- Taking care of things he knows you can’t;
- Doing everything he can to make your life easier (e.g. not letting you walk alone to your house, or paying the taxi for you when you get back home);
- Not doing things that make you feel uncomfortable (e.g. improving a habit because of you);
3. He’s very thoughtful toward you and your presence.
If he loves you secretly, this will expose his secret. Part of the actions of a man falling in love is also thoughtfulness.
This means he’s very considerate of you, your feelings, needs, and wants.
It’s what love is mostly built upon—caring and kindness towards oneself or another.
When a man is falling, he will be the home builder, the one that wants to take care of everything, he will be gentle and kind in one way or another.
He will show thoughtfulness by
- Helping you out with practical things (e.g. taking care of your problem with your laptop, or fixing your chair);
- Shows you he cares through little acts such as remembering your favorite meal, covering you with a blanket when you fall asleep, etc;
- Being careful not to hurt your feelings or genuinely apologize when he accidentally does so;
4. He puts effort into the connection.
Putting effort into your connection is one of the very first signs a man is falling in love with you.
The effort is reflected in the desire to keep you around, to see more of you, and to be around you.
When he’s falling in love he will do his best to keep the connection going because the thought of losing you becomes very scary.
- He sticks around to solve the fights;
- He texts you every day or calls every day;
- He gives as much, or even more than he receives in the relationship;
5. There’s something about the way he looks at you.
One of the physical signs a man is in love is the way he looks at you. It’s as if he’s mesmerized.
He looks so content, so calm, and so fulfilled. There’s a bit of wonder and curiosity mixed up with admiration in his gaze.
It took a lot of “Why are you looking at me like that?” moments for me to realize he was falling for me.
So, if he’s falling for you, he will take his time to look at you, whether you’re looking back at him or not.
6. You get the feeling of home when you’re around him.
It is undeniable, the feeling of ‘home’ you give one another. It is that warm cozy feeling whenever you’re together.
When he’s falling in love, he’s likely to start becoming more relaxed around you. He’s also likely to establish a sense of protectiveness for you.
That all contributes to a sense of home when you two are around each other.
- You feel safe around him;
- He’s caring and thoughtful, which contributes to both of you feeling more comfortable around one another;
- You feel his presence being more connected to yours;
7. He sees you beyond your flaws and bad habits.
When one is falling in love, it’s like the brain gets a bit slower in logical reasoning.
We see the flaws, we’re not blind to them, but we accept them as they are, and we like them, or even love them.
In this case, your handsome knight might as well see your flaws and quirks, but he won’t be judgmental of them if he’s falling in love.
Those won’t stop him from admiring your personality and looks.
- He’s accepting everything you are and everything you present to him as yourself;
- He’ll be accepting of everything you represent;
8. He’s open to change.
He talks the talk and walks the walk.
When a man is falling in love he will notice things that upset his partner, or that are hurtful to his partner.
This is why he becomes open to change to not cause those unpleasant feelings again.
For example, he said he’d do something later on, he will do it because he knows it’s of high importance to you.
Or he says he won’t do something again to upset you, he stands by his words and keeps his promise.
When two people are in love this sort of sync happens, because of this nerve called the vagus nerve. It has a part in everything you do.
Hence when in love, studies show, you tend to be open to the thought of making sacrifices.
9. He consistently initiates texts, calls, and conversations.
When he’s falling in love, he’ll want to hear, listen, and read everything you have to say about anything!
He’ll want to be in touch with you and if not constantly, at least consistently.
This is due to the feeling he gets when he’s around you. It makes him want more every time. It’s a kind of insatiability.
He will text you and keep in touch with you, if not every day, at least a few times a week, depending on what stage of the relationship you’re in.
10. He makes time for you and your needs.
The initial stages of love include passion, infatuation, and a rush of emotions in general.
Such emotions and feelings he gets to experience due to falling in love will make him more eager to be around you.
In a way, he’s in a constant craving for your presence, and he’ll make time for you whenever he gets the chance.
- He’ll take his time pleasing you;
- He loves and is very enthusiastic whenever you two can make time for one another;
11. He’s looking to get exclusive with you.
One of the signs that he has completely fallen for you is when the thought of you with someone else hurts him.
This is where he’ll show signs of jealousy, and express his desire to make this relationship exclusive.
Unless you’re in an open relationship, when he’s falling in love he’s very likely to feel uncomfortable to just even think of you being with someone else.
- He suggested exclusivity;
- He makes it clear he’s not looking for someone else;
- He doesn’t feel comfortable when seeing other people trying to flirt with you;
12. His guard is slowly falling down.
When we go into new relationships, we tend to have our guard up as a way to protect ourselves.
That guard eventually falls down once we start falling for that person.
Your man too. As soon as he starts falling in love and catching feelings, his guard will fall down. No more hiding: he shows his true self.
He will start opening up about whatever his past was made of, about the present, and the future.
He’ll share what shaped him into what he is now, what is making him joyful (including you), what is making him upset, and what would make him joyful in the future.
He will share with you because he will feel comfortable, as he’s not judging you and feels and knows that you won’t be judging him either.
13. Things you do and say are important to him.
What “things you do and say are important to him” means is that he will take into consideration everything you do and say.
He will be respectful towards whatever you communicate to him.
There are so many things you can do with your boyfriend to celebrate love even if you haven’t confessed it yet.
When he’s falling in love, what you say matters to him because he cares about you, your thoughts, and even more, your thoughts about him.
- He becomes very sensitive to your presence. Your smallest action, the lightest word, will affect him one way or another;
- He pays attention to things you say and they have tremendous effects on the way he acts around you;
14. He became protective of you.
Your safety and happiness start to matter a lot to him when he’s falling in love.
He can’t stand the idea of you being hurt, sad, or in danger of any aspect of it.
You’ll notice his protective behavior of his getting significant through the way he
- Puts you on the safe side of the sidewalk when you’re walking in the street;
- Puts his hand on your back as a way to protect you when you’re crossing the street;
- Comforts you when you have a sad day;
- Doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable and does his best to make you feel okay.
15. You make him happy.
He can’t help but smile and be cheerful whenever you’re around him. Introducing you to one of the subconscious signs a man is falling in love!
You know he’s head over heels when his face brightens up the moment he sees you.
Your presence has a positive effect on him because he’s falling for you.
In the process of falling in love, hormones called ‘the feel-good hormones’ are released, including oxytocin and dopamine.
That’s a group of hormones responsible for our good moods. And your man cannot escape the good feelings when he’s around you.
16. He’s not afraid to be affectionate in public.
His perception of you now elevates to another level when he’s falling for you.
He’s no longer afraid that he’ll push other people away from him if he hugs you. Why? Because he’s head over heels for you!
Now, PDA is no longer a problem because holding your hand feels way better than keeping his options open.
- He doesn’t hold himself back from showing you love and affection in public;
- He holds your hand when you’re walking together;
- He kisses you whenever he gets the chance no matter whether you’re in public or just the two of you;
17. He told his friends and/or family about you.
Of course, you can’t know what he talks about when you’re not present. However, if he told so, then this is a big deal.
So, he let you know he told his friends about you, but he didn’t quite tell you about what he told them about you.
The assumptions? He told his friends everything he couldn’t tell you.
Including he’s falling hard for you? Probably.
Whether he’s scared of what he’s feeling, or just excited to feel the love within, this is the type of news you share with your close people.
If he tells his family or friends about you, then you’re a big deal to him. He’s very likely to have fallen for you!
Why isn’t he telling you he’s falling in love with you?
He’s not telling you he’s in love with you for probably the same reasons you’re not telling him either:
- He could be afraid that it is not reciprocated and that things may turn into something else. He doesn’t want to ‘ruin’ this.
- He could be insecure about something and might think you’re out of his league.
- He could be overthinking and not finding the right time to tell you.
- He perhaps isn’t in love with you (unless he shows the above signs).
- He’s afraid of his feelings;
- He’s afraid of rejection;
How quickly do men fall in love?
Men fall in love relatively quickly.
Scientifically speaking, it only takes a fifth of a second for the love hormones to kick in, according to The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
It takes a fifth of a second for the love soup hormones to kick in, but before they do, it might take minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, in rare cases perhaps years.
The signs of a man falling in love are based on a few standards, signs that not necessarily everyone has to fit in.
We all express ourselves, and our thoughts, differently, and so we perceive everything differently based on a lot of factors.
How to make him confess he’s falling in love?
You don’t. It is as simple as that.
The love gurus guide people to ‘trigger the hero instinct in him’, or to ‘give him space’ a.k.a silent treatment.
These are things that eventually fade as the realness starts kicking into your relationship.
Let it flow naturally, he will tell you when he’s ready. You will even feel more genuine when you hear it from him.
If you’re scared to let go, then talk to an expert on the matter!
It will feel better because you’ll know he thought and took the courage to confess one of the most beautiful things you can confess to someone.
Instead of getting something you knew was coming, something you desperately tried to trigger in order for it to come your way, you’ll get something genuine.