Love isn’t always all sunshine and rainbows.
Humans are mutable creatures by nature, unable to keep their promises involving initial feelings they might have felt.
Are you afraid your boyfriend/husband doesn’t love you anymore? Has his once-loving, warm gaze turned into an ice-cold, loveless one?
If you’re tired of convincing yourself he’s still the same man he once was, you might want to start analyzing his behavior.
What does the behavior of an unloving man look like?
While going through the heart-wrenching experience of having someone you love not love you back, one thing becomes apparent:
When a man starts losing feelings, he’ll start behaving very differently.
These differences are physical AND emotional, and his partner is usually the only one getting the cold shoulder.
- He pulls away;
- He is physically distant;
- He is rude;
- He is dismissive;
- He is neglective;
- And he is temperamental.
Who would have thought that someone who once loved you so much, could turn into someone this scary?
Well, internal factors like empathy and feelings are our guides—they tell us what needs to be said, and what is better left a secret.
For some people, love is the only driving force; once love ceases to exist, so do their filters.
You’ve most likely noticed this uncanny behavior, and started worrying (hence you’re reading this).
But this is all too broad and abstract. Let me show you the specific signs of a man who stopped loving you.
1. He doesn’t say “I love you” anymore.
Nothing is more telling in this context than a man gradually telling you he loves you less and less.
Not everybody can lie about their feelings, and considering how meaningful an “I love you” is, he can’t bring himself to say it because he doesn’t mean it anymore.
2. He doesn’t answer your texts or calls. At all.
When in love, a man will want to spend all of his free time talking to his significant other and no one else.
So, if he stopped replying to you altogether for a while now, something may have changed within him internally.
3. Or he does answer, but very unenthusiastically and way later.
When he does decide to finally answer, he does so way later on in the day.
Other than his tardiness, his replies are also very dry and short, which shows a lack of effort on his part.
If he repeats this behavior although you try your hardest to stay cheerful and consistent while communicating, there’s a chance he has stopped loving you.
4. He used to be physically affectionate, but not anymore.
No more cute smooches? Or warm, comforting hugs? When was the last time you and your man cuddled up in the same bed?
Something has to be wrong if he’s no longer the affectionate guy who would jump at the opportunity to pull you closer to him.
5. He loses his temper very easily.
Relationships are about learning to let another person in, and this requires us to be considerate towards them.
A man who’s constantly starting arguments, seemingly for no reason proves how fed up he is with the whole relationship.
Every little thing having to do with it irritates him; plus, the fact he stopped caring about your feelings speaks volumes.
6. And those arguments get INTENSE.
All he does is scream and cuss at you, without ever trying to solve your initial issue—something you don’t want happening in a healthy relationship.
A man who loves you will do everything within his power to make things right. He won’t leave any issues unresolved or disrespect you.
7. He looks distracted when you’re close to each other.
The few times you are able to convince him to spend time together, he seems so out of it.
- He’s always on his phone, not really paying attention to you. He sighs and rolls his eyes…basically, he sounds like he’d rather be with anyone but you.
A man who’s fallen out of love, yet can’t seem to end the relationship, dreads spending time with their significant other—this is why he looks for other ways to keep himself distracted.
8. He wants an unhealthy amount of space away from you.
Wanting space in a relationship isn’t always a bad thing because people need a sense of independence so that they don’t get bored.
But overdoing it might just be a red flag.
- For instance, him going days without talking to you and constantly refusing to hang out.
If your boyfriend has just started wanting to spend less time with you (among other bad signs), he might be experiencing a change of heart.
9. He stops sacrificing for you altogether.
Now, sacrificing doesn’t always have to do with a fair knight risking his life to save the princess whose hand he’s seeking in marriage!
Modern-time examples of sacrifices include:
- Losing sleep so that you two can talk longer;
- Canceling plans with other people for your sake;
- Taking care of you while they’re also feeling under the weather, etc.
Love makes us want to keep the person happy, so when a man stops putting their partner first, it usually means he’s losing feelings.
10. He keeps indirectly hinting he wants to break up.
Does he suggest you two break up after every minor inconvenience? A man who loves his woman wouldn’t even dare think of breaking up with her.
It sounds like he’s been thinking of leaving you, but waiting for the right moment—the right moment is, in this case, right after an argument which he can use as an excuse.
11. You suspect he might be cheating.
Usually, a guy who’s cheating on his significant other is looking for additional excitement in his life; he thinks the passion in his relationship has burned out.
There’s a good chance he stopped loving you if your boyfriend started paying more attention to another woman rather than you.
- They talk every day, go out together, and he puts her needs ahead of yours.
12. You no longer have emotional, deep discussions.
Opening up to one another is very important to couples, as it prevents relationships from staying surface-level.
Besides, the person you love the most is the one you trust the most to share all your secrets, so something isn’t right if your boyfriend suddenly stops opening up to you.
If you can tell he’s keeping secrets from you and purposely avoiding deep talks, you’re most likely no longer that safe person for him.
13. He keeps going back on his word whenever you make plans.
A flaky man is an untrustworthy one…at least in this aspect because constantly canceling your plans means he might not want to see you as much.
When we think about it, we would NEVER waste a perfect opportunity to spend time with the person we love!
14. He’s borderline mean…
Let’s get something out of the way: you are allowed to get pissed off by your partner.
Relationships don’t have to be perfect, but they don’t have to be hurtful either.
We put filters up whenever we aren’t in the best emotional state because we don’t want to hurt the people who mean the world to us.
So, if your man keeps insulting you (unprovoked or not) right where it hurts, take it as a sign he might’ve completely given up.
15. Your opinions and feelings are disregarded.
Do you know the moment when you’re thinking of changing your haircut, but ask for your partner’s opinion because he is the only one that matters?
Wanting him to be happy is one of the many ways we express love.
But lately, your boyfriend doesn’t care at all: he doesn’t check in with you first (even when he does, he still disregards your opinions and feelings).
For example, when he asks you if he could hang out ALONE with another GIRL and you politely ask him not to, he still goes ahead.
16. He’s no longer the cheerful, upbeat guy he used to be.
He doesn’t crack jokes or act all silly just so that he can hear you laugh, nor is your presence enough to cheer him up.
Nowadays, it seems like he has to force himself to spend more time with you. He’s physically close, yet emotionally far away.
It’s like you’re dealing with a completely different person—someone who no longer feels anything for you.
17. He’s very critical of you.
He’s suddenly very critical of things like your appearance, boundaries, choices in life, etc., although he was initially okay with everything.
We start seeing people from a different lens when love slowly wears off, meaning we’re no longer blind to things we’d normally never tolerate.
Think of it as a “factory reset”!
18. He pays no heed to important dates.
He doesn’t make a big deal out of birthdays and anniversaries anymore, although it’s practically custom for people in a relationship to somehow commemorate their love.
This means that if your boyfriend or husband no longer wants to spend such important days together, he might be falling out of love.
19. He no longer includes you in his future.
He used to be sure, talking about how you two will get married one day, have cute children, and adopt a dog—basically a big, happy family!
Now whenever you ask him about your future together, he either avoids the question or tells you he’s unsure what tomorrow has in store for you two.
20. He’s sabotaging your relationship.
If you ever feel, at any point, that your guy is sabotaging your relationship…run.
This includes things like:
- Acting in a way he knows you hate;
- Starting arguments over trivial things;
- Attempting to make you jealous;
- And throwing the idea of breaking up haphazardly.
If he sounds like he doesn’t want a relationship, he most likely doesn’t.
A lot of people don’t have the courage to break up with their partners, so they try to get their partners to break up with them instead.
21. Any type of abuse is a sign of a loveless man.
According to WebMD, an abusive relationship is one in which one (or both) of the people involved use means to gain power and control over their partner.
Abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, and so on—regardless of which one we’re talking about, never forget that abuse is NOT love.
On that note, if your boyfriend/husband is showing signs of abuse, he might be in the process of falling out of love.
- You don’t deserve to be mistreated, especially not by someone you think of as a safe space. Don’t be afraid to seek help or open up to someone you trust.
What to do if you’re in a relationship with someone who no longer loves you?
To say you’re heartbroken would be an understatement. You’re tired of being treated as a guest in the relationship you’re a part of.
But, regardless of the immaturity your significant other is showing, I don’t recommend you dump him right there and then without finding out what’s going on.
– Ask him if anything is going on.
Talk with him regarding his behavior to see what’s causing his cold demeanor—for all we know, he might be going through something.
Calmly approach him when the time is right (when he’s off school or work) and open up by telling him you’re starting to get worried.
“Hi, [his name]. Can we talk about something? Lately, you’ve been acting a bit distant with me and we barely talk anymore. Is there anything prompting this behavior? Truth be told, I am a bit hurt and wanted to ask you before jumping to any conclusion about our relationship.”
Show compassion because you never know what people are going through; once he knows he can open up to you, he’ll spill his heart out.
Based on what he says, you can take one of the 2 routes:
1. Choose to work on your relationship.
If he tells you that feeling stressed is what made him want to pull away, and his love for you hasn’t changed one bit, you may give the relationship another try.
If you want to, of course!
No one is perfect when it comes to love—in this case, your guy isn’t trying to deliberately hurt you.
You can start by expressing to him how you’re currently feeling, supporting him, and re-drawing your boundaries.
You’re both reaching a middle ground and helping out one another.
2. Set him free.
If he confesses to losing feelings or if you can no longer take the pain he’s inflicting, maybe it’s for the better you part ways.
Easier said than done, but never forget that you are worthy of love and can’t be blamed for wanting to be treated right.
Besides, how can a relationship function without love? It’s like a car running while low on gas.
You don’t have to beg to feel loved by someone who’s supposed to love you; if he doesn’t appreciate you, you’re better off finding someone who does!
Love is a double-edged knife.
Loving someone is either going to be the most beautiful thing you’ll ever experience or the most heartbreaking one.
People change. The man who once would do anything just to see your adorable smile might have turned into a cold-hearted stranger.
In a world where things are constantly changing, one thing must remain the same: your self-love.
Don’t forget that not having your feelings reciprocated doesn’t mean you are unlovable.
Take care,
Callisto.
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