Looking into his eyes and realizing he has no love for you while he stares back is a heart-wrenching moment.
The pain becomes more agonizing the more you try to convince yourself that he still loves you.
The love that once was strong, exciting, and fulfilling now faded into silence, small talk, and unhealthy arguing.
He’s just not there anymore.
To prevent prolonging the heartache, you have to acknowledge and take note of the signs that he’s no longer in love with you.
Here are 22 signs he doesn’t love you anymore:
1. The emotional intimacy is gone.
On a psychological aspect, emotional intimacy is one of the greatest foundations of love.
The lack of it can be interpreted as a refusal to connect on a deeper level.
That’s why his reluctance to be emotionally intimate with you can resemble a lack of love toward you.
- He no longer shares his thoughts with you,
- He seems to be emotionally disconnected and detached from you,
- It can feel like he’s unreachable and very emotionally distant from you.
2. He seems to be tolerating your presence instead of cherishing it.
It’s normal to not have the beginning’s rush of excitement after a while in a relationship with a person.
However, love tends to be about cherishing the one we have by our side. Tolerating their presence is on the other end of the spectrum.
If he’s tolerating your presence, instead of cherishing it, you’ll feel and notice it.
- Your traits and features he used to love now seem to be ground for annoyance,
- He seems to be disturbed by you, your behavior, or your presence,
- You don’t feel welcomed, cherished, or appreciated by him.
3. You feel the lack of his love.
Studies have shown that there’s a pivotal moment when a person understands they’re no longer in love with their partner.
If he doesn’t love you anymore, he’s had that moment. From that point on, his behavior will reflect what he feels and has in mind.
And you’ll feel it.
- You see him being disconnected,
- Your gut tells you he’s no longer in love with you,
- Things have changed drastically and the patterns of love don’t seem to show when you two are around one another.
4. Talking about the future with you doesn’t bring him excitement.
Love makes us do things we wouldn’t do in normal situations with other people.
One of those things is having a hard time imagining a future without the person we love.
When he doesn’t love you anymore, he’ll avoid making plans about the future or talking about the long-term future.
- He doesn’t include you when describing a possible distant future,
- He seems to avoid the topic of a future with you at all costs,
- When and if you two discuss a future together he’s not excited, he rather seems upset about it.
5. You don’t feel appreciated anymore.
When he stops loving you, his attitude towards you becomes reckless and he grows into showing a lack of appreciation for you.
Forcing love isn’t something accomplishable. When the love is gone, there won’t be room for appreciation. You’ll sense it.
- He’s not the same anymore,
- He stopped saying the words of affirmations he used to say to you,
- His behavior and demeanor make you feel unappreciated.
6. There’s secrecy and deception.
Deceiving and keeping secrets is yet another sign of a lack of love.
The love for our partners doesn’t let us intentionally get into reckless behavior that we’re aware it’d hurt our partners.
Deceptions and secrecy can be very damaging and each of us is aware of this, including him.
- He deceits you into thoughts, beliefs, or about simple day-to-day things,
- You found out he’s been keeping secrets from you,
- You caught him lying to you multiple times.
7. He’s not the same when he talks to you.
You can tell things have changed tremendously through the way he interacts with you.
You used to talk about everything, but now the conversations are dull, lack affection, and lack positive affirmations for one another.
- He avoids talking to you whenever he can,
- He no longer expresses love for you,
- Your conversations now feel like conversations between strangers.
8. He doesn’t seem to listen anymore.
Loving someone includes hearing them, listening to what they have to say, and being there for them when they need someone to talk to.
When he no longer loves you, you cannot count on him any longer. He won’t be there for you to listen to what you have to say.
- Your opinions are insignificant to him,
- He doesn’t ask you thoughtful questions such as ‘How do you feel’ or ‘Is everything ok’,
- He doesn’t pay any mind to what you tell him, hence he regularly forgets what you told him.
9. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence.
You’re there, but he doesn’t seem to recognize it.
He doesn’t look you in the eyes, he doesn’t address issues, and he doesn’t acknowledge your feelings, needs, or opinions.
It makes you feel alienated by his presence.
Eye contact is a very important factor in every connection. When he doesn’t look you in the eyes, he’s blocking himself from creating a connection with you.
- He looks very uninterested in you,
- No matter what you do, can’t seem to work to get his attention,
- He’s continuously unimpressed and indifferent.
10. He became inconsiderate and neglectful of your feelings.
When he doesn’t love you anymore, he starts becoming blind to your needs, your wants, and your presence.
This causes him to be inconsiderate of your feelings and your needs, to be more selfish, to forget important things to you, and have a lack of thoughtfulness.
Such behavior can be reflected through his abrupt decision-making despite the act being hurtful to you, and his way of using hurtful expressions despite knowing that it’ll do you hurt.
Being inconsiderate towards each other’s feelings can bring the relationship to an end, and it is one of the first signs that love is not quite there.
- He doesn’t seem to care anymore,
- He doesn’t consider things that are important to you,
- He won’t stop no matter how hurtful his actions are to you.
11. You no longer see him as your safe person.
He used to be there when you were struggling, but now he’s nowhere to be found. He’s no longer your comfort person.
Abuse never stems from love. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes practiced in the name of love. An abusive partner isn’t a loving partner, no matter what they tell you.
Abuse is expressed and practiced through manipulation, threats, violence, insults, humiliation, codependency, and other harmful behavior of that nature.
Such patterns make you feel unsafe to the point where you no longer see him as your safe person.
Love is calm, peaceful, and uplifting. Love is never violent, harming, or disregarding.
12. His criticism of you became very harsh and demeaning.
Lack of love can often lead to resentment especially if we choose to stay in the relationship despite the love being gone.
This is where he’ll focus on your ‘flaws’ and things he doesn’t like about you. He’ll make it clear through harsh and demeaning criticism.
When there’s mutual love, there’s also understanding and compromise within the relationship.
That love and understanding reflect in the decision-making of both of you as a couple.
- He picks on everything you do,
- He compares you to people he thinks are better than you,
- He makes you feel like you have no value or capability to do things right.
13. Unhealthy arguments.
It’s hurtful to see the person you love grow distant and not feel the love he once felt so strongly.
Arguments in a relationship can be healthy. But arguing about things in a demeaning manner can lead to toxicity in a relationship.
He’ll be consciously or subconsciously seeking ways to destroy the relationship, and that can easily be noticed through the way he argues with you.
- He offends your efforts,
- He offends your presence by getting on your back about the smallest things he could disagree on,
- He verbally offends, insults, or belittles you during – or not – arguments.
14. He avoids spending time with you.
When he does love you, he also loves the time he spends with you, he cherishes you, and he’s there to listen to you.
You can tell if your significant other doesn’t love you by the amount of quality time they’re willing and excited to spend with you.
When he lacks love towards you, he finds ways to prevent quality time with you.
- He has absurd reasons when it comes to explaining why he can’t make it home, or spend time with you,
- He attends events on his own, without letting you know about it,
- The time you spend together is very short and lacks quality.
15. No more physical intimacy with you.
Affection in a romantic relationship can be expressed through words and actions. When his love is gone his affectionate behavior will be gone too…
No more words of affirmation, no more compliments, no more gifts. Less sex, less appreciation, and less gratitude expressed about your presence.
When love is gone, so are the positive thoughts and gratitude. He can’t express something he’s not feeling.
- Your emotional and sexual needs are no longer being met,
- He hesitates to – or doesn’t – touch, hug, or have sex with you,
- He doesn’t seem comfortable when you touch him.
16. You can feel him pulling away from you.
The process of a man pulling away from you comes with emotional distance, mixed signals, lack of attention toward you, and significant separation.
When a man stops loving you he starts pulling away by distancing himself from you, emotionally, physically, and sexually.
He pulls away from you and this reflects in the way he treats you, the effort he puts into the relationship and your happiness, the attention he gives you, and the time he spends with you.
17. He gets angry with you very easily.
One of the signs that a partner doesn’t love you anymore is also their ways of picking fights with you and expressing their anger at you.
Love is gentle, soft, and tender. The lack of it can turn things chaotic and brittle.
- He picks fights on everything he can,
- He’s very sensitive to everything you say and overreacts over small things just to turn them into huge arguments,
- He’s rude to you.
18. He’s doing almost everything on his own.
You’ll be able to tell if he doesn’t love you if you check his ways of solving things, his activities, and his ways of making decisions.
When love is gone, it doesn’t necessarily transform into hate or resentment, it just vanishes. That alone is enough to turn things upside down in the relationship.
He won’t share anything to get your opinion on it, and he’ll make decisions without considering your stance on them.
- He participates in activities without ever inviting you,
- He makes decisions without telling you or consulting with you,
- He no longer asks for your opinions before doing significant things.
19. He says “I love you” a lot less than he used to.
It doesn’t feel right to him to say something he doesn’t feel anymore. So, he says “I love you” less, or when he says it it lacks emotion and feelings.
It’s normal to just not feel the need to say these three words in a relationship once a while has passed, however, when they’re said they’re truly meant.
- He tells you “I love you” only when you tell him first,
- His way of saying these three words makes it look like he’s forced to say them,
- He never says “I love you” first.
Behaviors such as crossing your boundaries, ignoring your presence, mocking your achievements, lying, and other similar disregarding behaviors represent disrespectful acts towards you and your existence.
It’s very harsh to say, but it’s one of the signs that he doesn’t love you anymore.
Love is about lifting each other, learning from each other, and growing together as a team.
Considering each other’s feelings is one of the main signs of love. If he’s not respecting you and your existence, he’s not loving you.
21. You caught him cheating on you.
Men cheat for different reasons. Sometimes, the reason for cheating is that they no longer feel love towards their partner.
The infidelity statistics show that even people who love their partners are capable of infidelity.
However, infidelity is undoubtedly a sign of disrespect to you and the effort you put into the relationship.
22. He seems to have given up on the relationship.
His approach makes you feel like your existence has no value to him.
He talks as few words as possible, he’s present as few hours as possible, and he puts as little effort as possible into the relationship.
When there’s love from his side he brings what he can to the table.
Once the love is not there, he’ll stop putting effort and energy into the relationship, leaving you no choice but to think of ending the relationship.
- He doesn’t try working things out,
- He lacks the will or interest to maintain the relationship with you,
- He lacks interest in activities that strengthen your bond.
What to do when he doesn’t love you anymore?
Finding out that he no longer loves you or cares about you is a difficult situation to be faced with. Though, you’re not alone in this.
Here’s what you can do when he doesn’t love you anymore:
– Talk to him about your concerns.
You have to hear it from him.
This conversation will give you both the space to see whether you want to save the relationship and rebuild trust or end it here.
You can either talk sincerely about it – heart-to-heart – or reach out to a relationship counselor to help you out.
– Turn to yourself for love and respect.
Rebuild your sense of confidence, and start loving and respecting yourself the way you deserve it. You can take care of yourself by
- engaging in physical activity, it’s widely known to make you feel better;
- talking to your therapist;
- participating in group activities;
- engaging in activities or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment;
- reading books such as ‘The Geek’s Guide to Unrequited Love’ by Sarvenaz Tash;
- joining support groups;
- spending time with people you love, etc.
– Reconsider your boundaries.
Sometimes when loving someone so dearly in a relationship, we tend to let loose our boundaries. We mark them slightly differently because of him.
Well, now it’s time to reconsider your boundaries, draw those lines to what you’re willing to tolerate, and what you’d never want to happen to you.
– Let him go.
Love isn’t the only foundation required to hold a relationship, however, a relationship without it isn’t going to be a fulfilling one.
If you try to make him love you, you’ll lose your sense of self, and find yourself transforming into these other people for the sake of your boyfriend loving you.
Let him go. It’s difficult, it’s heavy, but it’s the only way to move on.
You deserve someone who loves you back.
He loves you when he’s caring, he respects your existence and acknowledges your beauty in and out.
The love is gone when there’s no respect, fun, emotional and physical intimacy, care, interest, and effort.
It’s time for you to focus on self-care and your healing journey because you’re deserving of love, care, and affection, just the way you give it.