Chasing can be all fun and interesting until that prevents you from creating a healthy and stable relationship.
If a guy wants to be chased that doesn’t always mean that you should make the first move.
This might be his way of flirting, a way to renew your relationship, or he might use it as a way to boost his ego.
That can happen after a few dates, later in a relationship, or after the breakup.
Like women, men also like to be chased. Chasing on a healthy level keeps the relationship fun and interesting, it helps in keeping that spark alive.
Yet, the most important thing to do before starting to chase him, know the reason why he likes to be chased.
A few reasons why a guy wants you to chase him!
1. It is not the right time for him to be vulnerable with you.
He likes you but he might be having a hard period now. Therefore, he waits for the right moment to take an action.
2. He wants to make sure that he’s important in your life. Before making any further moves.
He might have had a hard past relationship. Now, he doesn’t want to immediately jump into another relationship when he makes the first move.
Due to his insecurity, he wants to check how valuable he’s to you before he makes any further move.
3. He is not used to investing feelings or even himself in chasing women.
He might always leave women to do the chasing and he would have only enjoyed the ride.
4. He might be the narcissistic type that wants your attention and he thinks that’s what he deserves.
He wants you to boost his ego. The more you chase him the better he feels about himself. He feels more complete and confident in this way.
5. He might feel that you’re out of his league.
Sometimes for men, it is hard to make the first move due to the fear of being rejected.
Seeing you as someone out of his league, he tries to stay in the safe zone instead of making a further move.
6. He is looking for an easy target.
It is known that some women seek validation. Due to this, he chooses to be around you, but not levitate the relationship.
He makes sure to be near you but prioritizes you to some extent.
Here are 14 definite signs a guy wants you to chase him:
1. He doesn’t make any effort toward you
Not showing effort is not the same as being distant or not having an interest in yourself.
He just wants to make sure not to show extra effort in expressing his feelings.
If he wants to boost his ego then he’ll keep you breadcrumbing.
If he’s shy he won’t make the first move due to the fear of not being accepted.
2. He doesn’t give a specific type of attention
If he has been giving hints of having strong feelings for you but not giving that specific attention then he’s waiting for you to make the next move.
Different reasons keep him from being vulnerable and expressing his feelings to you.
He might be shy and cannot make the decision to express his feelings or he wants to make sure that you feel the same.
It is hard for everyone to be rejected but especially men.
If he feels something for you then you should make sure that you feel the same.
Note: Being open to him can help you in knowing each other’s stance and not be caught up in a game.
3. He tells you how he feels but then leans back
He might be the first one to be interested in you, express subtle feelings, and be near you, but he leaves it at that.
He might do it to provoke your thoughts and feelings.
Also, it might be his strategy to keep you hanging and not take an action.
In this situation, it isn’t anything wrong to make sure of his feelings by giving slight signs from you too.
Be open and receptive, yet be cautious of mind games that he might be playing.
4. One day he cares but the other day he’s distant
Playing hot and cold is his way of letting you know that he wants you to go after him.
One day he might be pretty intimate with you and the other day he might keep his distance.
His behavior is connected only with the reaction that you’ll give toward his action.
Also, he’s giving himself some time to sort out feelings until you react to his interest.
Note: Being responsive is labeled as a feminine trait and taking a further step is a masculine act.
Don’t jump into rushing things. Pushing him to make any decision will only pull him away.
5. He shows how much ‘desirable’ he is
This is one of the fundamental signs of a guy who wants you to chase him.
It’s not the healthiest sign when it comes to chasing.
Showing to you his self-worth it’s the way he signals you to chase him. He does this to get your attention but mostly to feel good about himself.
It is better to search for more signs if he’s interested in you. Be cautious of other red flags.
6. He likes you but hasn’t made the first move yet
It’s a pretty complicated and confusing period when a man wants you to chase him.
You can recognize his behavior when he likes you but something is holding him back.
There are a lot of internal and external reasons that might be holding him back.
He doesn’t want to get rejected or hurt. He is afraid of investing feelings again.
7. He is playful with you
Teasing is one of the subtle signs of a man who wants you to chase him.
Through flirting and mind games a guy gives you hints that he likes you.
He gives you mixed signals while he’s waiting for your reaction too.
Every relationship involves a little give and take. That’s how it keeps the relationship going and healthy.
8. He tells you about his day
When someone loves you and is interested in you, he’ll try to be emotionally attached to you.
He’ll try to share his personal experiences and tell you about his day.
You can recognize the change in his body language, and how he feels at that moment.
This way he’s trying to share some piece of himself. He leaves some space for you to tell your stories and connect with him.
This man is taking baby steps to connect with you. He doesn’t want to be hurt and starts with the easiest form of creating a bond.
9. He writes back but never initiates the text
Women and men are adjusted to the idea that a man should be the first to text, call, or even ask out a woman.
Sometimes it might be the contrary. If he doesn’t initiate the text then he might be waiting for you to take the lead.
There are dozens of reasons he doesn’t write to you first.
He might be collecting the boldness of the world to express his feelings or he might be searching for ways to take it slowly.
If he replies immediately and the conversation isn’t dry then he’s showing signs of wanting you to chase him.
10. He tells you how he feels but suddenly shuts down
It is pretty common for a guy to express his feelings and the next moment to play tough.
As soon as a man expresses his feelings, their mind and heart trigger the instinct of being too soft for the masculine world.
To act tough, he puts his defenses on. At that moment, he’s waiting for you to give him a sign; a sign that you’re interested.
Thus, he’ll stop giving you further signs that he wants you to chase him.
11. He is quite jealous of you
He thinks that you’re leaning too close to that guy at the bar or that you’re acting so strange lately.
Yes, these are the signs that a guy wants you to chase him.
He is pretty concerned with your love life and gives you indirect suggestions of what a decent guy would be for you.
Yet, he gives all these indirect opinions and maybe advice but never makes the first move.
12. He makes you feel wanted but doesn’t cross that line
He might take good care of you and be pretty close but never cross the line of being more than friends.
As scary as it might be for you to express feelings that can be for him too.
He might be always there for you but yet he didn’t find the proper moment and way to say it to you or make another move.
13. He drops hints of dating him
He jokes about dating you as a sign of wanting you to chase him.
He does this to give a hint that he would like to date you but yet can’t take the action.
Take a close look at these hints. If he has been making the same joke as everyone else then that doesn’t mean a thing.
If he has made this joke only with you, he did that to provoke you.
14. He tries indirectly to make you jealous of him
This is an ambiguous sign. It is one of the signs he is chasing you and that he wants to be chased.
A man wants to test your limits and how you feel towards him by making you jealous. This way he plays safe and waits for your reaction.
He intends to grab your attention by pursuing you and testing your limits towards him.
Is he done with the relationship or does he want me to chase him?
It’s a very thin line that divides the end of the relationship and signs he wants you to chase him.
The signs a guy gives you before the breakup are quite similar to when he wants you to chase him.
1. Lack of effort. This is one of the signs that can lead you to confusion.
If he wants to end the relationship and has been pulling away for some time now then it means that he isn’t interested in continuing a relationship with you.
Yet, if he lacks the effort to make him chase you, he will act like he’s not attentive to you all the time and acts distant from time to time.
2. Not initiating text or communicating with you.
When a guy wants to break up with you then he doesn’t initiate texts but doesn’t reply to them either.
Also, he might reply from time to time but yet his answers can be short and cold.
On the other hand, even though he doesn’t initiate a text, his answers are longer, flirtatious, and more engaging.
When he wants you to chase him, his answers will be very precise and he won’t keep you hanging even though he doesn’t text you first.
3. He is jealous of you but in a healthier way.
The passive-aggressive behavior that comes from jealousy before and after the breakup, differs a lot from the subtle jealousy.
In both cases, he will ask questions or be nosey about your personal life. When you’re breaking up he will be more controlling than caring.
4. The distance and lack of communication.
The distance that is created when he wants to end the relationship creates some type of anger and anxiety in you.
You feel not appreciated and left on your own to work things out of this relationship.
When a man wants you to chase him, he will keep his distance long enough to make him miss you. This is his pull-push method to pull your strings.
5. He is close to other women.
If he wants to end the breakup then he will be with other women just to be in a rebound relationship and show how he can do it on his own.
Also, if he is not into you anymore then he’ll date other women to develop new feelings and create a new relationship.
On the contrary, if he wants to make you jealous enough to chase him then he will not cross any other boundaries with other women.
He’ll act all flirtatious just to push your buttons.
3 signs he wants you to chase him after a breakup
When the guilt and remorse hit the dumper then he will want you back. He will give you some hints to chase him.
The pride and the fear of rejection make a man create the chasing plan.
Here are 3 signs that he wants you to chase him:
1. He breadcrumbs you even if you are using the No Contact Rule.
During this period he keeps liking your posts or pictures. He might even text you to check on you.
In this case, he wants to leave space to interact with him and not be the one who asks for forgiveness and experiences rejection.
2. He asks other people about you but doesn’t talk directly to you.
He has an aim. He aims to send you the message that he is interested again but he wants you to chase him after the breakup.
Thus, he asks about you, your mutual friends, a member of your family, or even your coworkers.
3. He texts you about memories but doesn’t ask you to get back together.
He wants you to chase him if he sends a message to reminisce on.
Leaving some room to chase him, he shows that maybe he isn’t all sure about his feelings towards you.
It has been some time after the breakup and he must miss you or felt lonely, that’s why he decided to text you or call.
12 signs you’re chasing him! – How to turn the tables around
FAQ: Should I chase him or wait?
1. Do guys prefer to be chased or to chase?
Most guys prefer balance. They like to put this matter in a pendulum.
They like the thrill and chase that gives the chasing process but also want to feel appreciated by being pursued too.
A guy likes to be chased on a small scale and pursue you in the same way. Since, if he tries hard or if you try hard a man will lose interest in you.
2. Is it okay for a woman to chase a man?
It is okay for a woman to chase a man to the extent that it gives him a green light for their relationship.
It doesn’t ruin your self-esteem or doesn’t create a bad image if you also are vulnerable and take a mini first step.
It’s better to be open and try than to miss the chance of not creating that relationship or being with him.
Wrapping it all up….
The chasing game can create huge confusion and misunderstanding among people.
Instead of always playing hard and wanting to be chased or to chase, let’s try to be precise in our thoughts and feelings.
Be open and vulnerable to the other one as much as to create a healthy bond that can turn into a relationship.
Don’t be afraid to make the first move or show your feelings to a guy. While doing it be sure to check other signs that might be a red flag for you.
Be bold and we know you can win this!
I appreciate your article. It’s so true with me and my recent breakup with a date for 1.5 months.