Yes, a player can fall in love. And yes, he can become a gentle soul once he does.
Despite them being portrayed as soulless people with no mercy on their romantic partners, players do fall in love.
Now, without overly romanticizing the concept, the cause of their behavior lies deep in their past. They’ve been hurt before, now they’re avoiding hurt.
But what happens when a player falls in love?
Here are 19 signs a player is falling hard for you:
1. He’s letting his guard down.
A player behaves like one because of his guards and fears. He wants to protect himself and his ego at all costs.
However, things take a drastic shift once a player starts falling in love.
When a player falls in love, you become the new center of his attention instead of the thought of protecting himself.
He slowly starts opening up, becoming more gentle, less defensive, and more considerate of you and your needs.
2. “I don’t want to lose you”
He works on what you two are creating and verbally lets you know that he doesn’t want to lose you.
The fear of losing someone comes along with love and its effects on a person. Just like the rest of us, when falling in love, a player can’t escape that either.
A change of behavior in players tends to occur when they fall in love. They don’t want to risk losing the one they fell in love with, so they take action!
You’ll notice his erratic behavior slowly stabilizing and becoming more respectful toward you, to not risk losing you.
3. No more games.
Part of a player’s erratic behavior is mind games and manipulation tactics. Those come from a self-defense approach to relationships.
Studies have shown that love as a feeling and emotion is less selfish, it’s known to be selfless.
When a player falls in love, he’ll start prioritizing you and your needs as well.
He knows games are harmful, and he’ll stop them once he falls in love with you, because he can’t hurt you while feeling a selfless emotion such as love.
4. Exclusivity is on the table.
Another widely-known feature of players is their desire for variety in their sexual or romantic lives. They’re always seeking something new and exciting.
Well, not always. Not if he falls in love with someone.
When he falls in love with you, he’ll bring the discussion of exclusivity to the table, and he won’t hesitate to define what your relationship is.
He won’t say your relationship is “casual” and he won’t be afraid to use “girlfriend”, “boyfriend”, or “relationship” with you. He wants things exclusive with you.
5. He’s okay without sex too.
Sex is one of the things that players are known to go after.
Considering players’ behaviors are a result of trauma in their life, sex can be seen as a coping mechanism for them or a way for them to deal with trauma.
When a player falls in love with you, he’ll see you for more than what you offer. He’ll be okay without sex, and sex will no longer be the main pillar of your connection.
6. He introduces you to important people.
Players are known to keep their connections highly secretive. They’re also known to avoid emotional connections.
Once they start falling in love, they’ll let room for the emotional connection to build between you two.
A sign he isn’t fighting off the emotional connection is his introducing you to important people in his life.
7. He no longer hides his phone.
When a player starts falling in love, he’ll start becoming more open and less secretive.
Part of falling in love is wanting to share more than a superficial connection with one another.
When the connection goes deeper, his lust for ‘backup’ people will eventually fade, and he won’t have side situationships to your relationship.
He will no longer need to hide his phone from you because his phone doesn’t have anything that could break your heart or draw you away.
8. He wants to seek professional help for his traumas.
Not all players are self-aware of the issues they’re internally dealing with that result in their harmful behavior.
However, if you’re dating a player who is self-aware and he’s falling for you, then he might seek professional help for his traumas.
Being self-aware will make him aware of how toxic his behavior is, and if he finds himself not being able to stop, he might be willing to ask for professional help.
He’ll try to heal himself to not hurt you or others around.
9. He’s opening up.
One of the earliest signs of a womanizer who’s falling in love is his willingness to open up to a woman.
Opening up can show part of his vulnerabilities—which a player subconsciously fears will be used against him—to you.
He wouldn’t do that unless he felt emotionally secure with you, and he wouldn’t feel so unless he felt emotionally connected to you.
10. He’s consistently investing more effort into the relationship.
The effort is yet another thing that players have issues with. They are reluctant to invest time or emotions into a connection.
However, things take another dramatic shift once they fall in love.
If the guy you’re dating is a player, he might be falling in love if he’s taking you out on genuine dates, communicating consistently with you, and putting effort into the relationship.
He’s not hot and cold anymore, he’s willing to put effort into making things work.
11. Your personality is becoming the reason why he’s complimenting you.
In the beginning, a player can use superficial compliments to grab your attention, to make you feel good, and to make sure he gets a chance with you.
However, when that player falls in love, his compliments become less superficial and more specific to your physical and personality attributes.
Those compliments signal that he’s truly seeing you as you are not just a pleasing physical figure. He’s falling once he sees the deeper things to the surface.
12. Your opinions matter to him.
A man in love will listen to you because your opinions will start to matter to him. A player makes no exception.
He’ll show attentiveness, care, and respect for what you have to say.
If you told him about something that hurt you, he’ll take notes and not do it (again). He’ll remember the details because he’ll start listening.
13. He’s caring and respectful to you and your boundaries.
A player in his standard player behavior won’t care much about your boundaries, rather, he’ll care more about how to get what he wants.
That changes when he falls in love.
He’ll become aware that hurtful behavior could result in losing you, and he doesn’t want that because he fell in love with you.
You’re not being pressured into decisions you don’t want to make.
He’ll start putting effort to keep you around and not hurt you. He becomes protective. Now, he’ll care for you, respect you, and consider your boundaries.
14. Your conversations started going beyond superficial topics.
Normally, players avoid discussing topics that could set up an emotional connection. Hence they keep the conversations as superficial as possible.
Now when a player starts falling in love, your conversations slowly start having more meaningful elements added to them.
He’ll start asking questions about you, listening, and contributing to meaningful and deep conversations with you.
15. He comes clean.
A lot of players will come clean once they fall in love due to the sense of guilt they feel for what they’ve done before.
He might spill the beans on the tactics he used on you or other people, tell you about the wrongdoings he did, or even acknowledge hurtful actions toward you.
This often happens due to that sense of selflessness he feels because of love. And the sense of guilt can become unbearable once he realizes he’s in love with you.
He can no longer help it, he comes clean about his games.
16. It’s also in the way he kisses you.
Kisses are another way of unveiling the signs of love. When a player loves you, he will no longer see you only as a figure that can please him.
He’ll stop objectifying you as he starts seeing the beauty within you and beyond your pretty thighs and eyes.
When a player falls in love with you, the way he kisses you becomes passionate and less animalistic. You’ll sense his care and gentleness as he puts his lips on yours.
17. He’s pulling away.
Besides the lovey-dovey changes in a player’s behavior, once he starts falling in love, there are also not-so-pleasant ones as a manifestation of what he’s feeling.
Because of his trauma, a player is also likely to run away from what he’s feeling as he will sense himself being in a highly vulnerable position.
He might pull away slowly or abruptly.
He draws back the moment he senses he’s getting attached to you as a response to the fear of getting hurt as he did in the past.
18. You can sense his “I love you” is sincere.
One of the ways to tell if he really loves you or is playing you is to take a look at his “I love you”
Players don’t mind saying it carelessly just to get under your sheets.
However, you can tell his “I love you” is sincere, and he isn’t lying, if he backs it up with actions and proves to you he loves you:
- He puts effort to make you happy;
- He loves spending time with you;
- He can’t stop looking at you;
- He’s gentle and caring toward you and your needs;
- He talks about the long-term future;
19. He feels hurt when you’re hurt.
Science shows that empathy is yet another trait that becomes highly enhanced once a person falls in love with another.
A player in love becomes empathetic. He’s happy when you’re happy, and he’s hurt when you’re hurt.
This makes him become more careful and gentle with you and your needs, making sure he never sees you cry or hurt.
Keep in mind: If he’s too scared of his feelings he’ll react differently!
The game of the players stems from fears and trauma. They’ve been hurt in the past, and now they carry themselves guarded in romance.
This makes them tricky to figure out once they start falling in love.
Some players show the signs mentioned above, however, some will act way differently…
Romantic feelings can cause him to respond to his fears and make him feel highly vulnerable, increasing the sense of need for defense. He might:
- Ghost you;
- Avoid talking to you or opening up to you;
- Become possessive;
- Behave rudely;
This, similar to their ‘normal’ behavior is a source of their fears.
However, the feeling of love can trigger these fears and make them manifest in ways that portray the opposite of love.
What’s the next step after a player falls in love with you?
The answer to “What now?” after finding out a player is falling in love with you, depends a lot on the behavior he displays.
However, there are some standards when it comes to moving forward in a relationship with a player!
Here’s a sum-up of the next step to take after a player falls in love with you:
– Proceed with caution. He’s been hurt before, and the trauma he’s dealing with might not lead to healthy expressions of affection.
– Start working on your connection together. Sometimes, only love isn’t enough to establish a healthy connection with a partner. It will take effort and honesty from both sides to make it work.
– Practice mindfulness and open communication. Try to be present, open, and clear with one another to establish a better understanding and stronger connection.
– Consider therapy. Players’ wounds and pasts might haunt them if they left them unresolved and unchecked.
That’s why therapy, individual or couples, can be tremendously helpful in this aspect of your relationship.
It can help you both establish better communication, work with your fears, express your love easily, and maintain a healthy connection.
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