Flirting is the tool a man or woman uses to connect with others. People flirt to attract someone, to show interest, for their amusement, or even to do it just in a playful way (because that’s how they’re built): They are flirts!
When you’re not flirting with your partner, flirting can be cool and fun until you cross the boundaries of being just fun and friendly.
“Friendly” then becomes cheating when a married man is flirting with particular intentions and not just for the sake of ‘being fun’.
You wonder: how do married men flirt? It is easier to spot a married man flirting, not because of the ring, duh… But because of the way he changes his behavior in seconds and adjusts the situation to his instant needs.
Before going to 13 signs of a married man flirting let’s make a difference between a banter conversation or small talk and flirting.
The difference between having a banter conversation and flirting
To make the distinction between if a married man is just bantering or if he’s flirting with you then see if he’s intending to create any sexual tension between you two.
Flirting is expressing attraction through having interactions (verbally and physically expressed) with someone even though the results aren’t solely sexual.
Flirting is done intentionally. It’s a way of being/getting close to someone while seeking their attention. So, in our case the married man who flirts knows that he is flirting, or he has a flirty personality and flirting it’s part of his communication (even with men).
Whereas, bantering is more of a small conversation that includes teasing but this type of teasing is done by the person to make a conversation more fun in a friendly way, or tell that he is the coolest and smartest in the room.
Meaning, if a guy is bantering he will tease you but not with any sexual or romantic intentions.
Here, 13 signs of a married man flirting with you:
1. He uses his sense of humor as a way to charm you
Sense of humor is one of the vital forms of flirting.
If a married man decides to flirt with you he will use his sense of humor as a form of attraction.
Some men are naturally funny and single or married; they’ll use this trait daily with everyone. But if a married man is trying to flirt with you then you’ll notice the tension and flirting in his humor.
His jokes will be addressed especially to you, he’ll crack a lame joke thus seeking your attention, he’ll be funny with you only.
2. He is involved and very curious about your love life
He is indirectly searching for ways to know more about your personal life and who you’re dating. He asks your friends, colleagues, or other people of your entourage.
But, if he is bold enough then he will even ask directly if you are interested in or dating anyone these days.
He abruptly jumps from “What are you doing these days?” to “Are you going to spend your weekend with your boyfriend, haha?”
3. He gives hints jokingly about how you two would be an amazing couple
You’re starting to feel this type of awkwardness when that married man says jokingly (or not) that you two would look good as a couple.
If a married man wants to flirt with you with those particular intentions then he will step further and mention to you or even your friends/colleagues how good you’d look like a couple, or how you two complete one another.
Be sure that he wouldn’t say this jokingly if he wouldn’t fantasize about it first or daydream about it.
4. He tries to make you feel special by sending gifts that he chose himself
There is nothing wrong with giving gifts on occasions to other people even though either one of you is married. It is a form of respect and affinity.
However, if he keeps giving you gifts more than often and not only on certain occasions (e.g. birthdays, holidays), or he didn’t even choose it with his wife then it is not a friendly gesture but a way of flirting.
What makes the difference is also the type of gifts he gives you. A man doesn’t give the same type of gifts to his wife, friend, or coworker (unless he’s your boss and he’s into you).
It is a sign of flirting if he gives you gifts such as red roses, jewelry, or perfume.
5. He offers you to go with him for a dinner but with other people
He knows that he can’t invite you to dinner for two since he (or both of you) is married, so he’ll offer you a seat next to him with a bunch of people at a dinner party.
He keeps you close, physically and, at times, emotionally through humor and eye contact.
This is how a married man flirts. While you hang out with these people his attention is totally given to you. He will talk to you constantly, make you laugh, even touch you slightly, and act like only two of you are at that dinner.
|Note: I would recommend not considering this type of invitation if you are not interested. Let him know politely that you don’t want to participate.|
6. He invests more time in you than in everything else
He’ll do everything to be up to your face and spend more time with you.
If you two are coworkers and he’s into you then you’ll see him suddenly near you at your office or at the area where you work. He will want to interact with you without any particular reason.
If you two met somewhere else then he will look for a chance to meet you before or after work, or even on your days off.
7. Makes you feel flattered with his sweet talk towards you
You’re still wondering how a married man flirts with you? Let me tell you.
He gives you compliments, as a man would do while flirting. But, a married man does that differently.
He will tell you how pretty you look in that short skirt but how his wife never wore them since she doesn’t like to show her legs. Or, how he likes your long hair but his wife always cuts it short and how he doesn’t like it.
8. He keeps stating that you make him feel good
A married man would tell you that he feels good in your presence as a form of flirting with you, to make you feel appreciated and get those butterflies all go crazy for.
He might blush a little, tilt his head, and make pretty intense eye contact with you. It’s pretty close to a movie scene, except in this one you’re a protagonist as well and you’re feeling the tension building.
9. He will try to impress you with his behavior
If a married man wants to impress you with the way he behaves then he’ll go a little extra on his actions towards you.
He starts to like the things that you like and is interested in the things that you are. If you are interested in a tv show, suddenly he is interested in that too. That’s his way to start talking to you more.
10. He gives you the attention and makes you feel special
If a man gives only you a little bit of extra attention, you will feel it in your gut. Especially if that comes from a married man who’s doing his best at his flirting game with you.
A married man will know how to make you feel special and give the needed attention by his experience.
He will help you anytime without asking him. You will notice that he will carry things for you, will offer his help to solve your problems, or even will be interested in why you are feeling down. That can be a friendly gesture if it happens once in a while but if that happens more than that and only with you then he is flirting.
He will be always available to listen to you when you talk and ask questions: Even though he is married and might be tired of taking care of someone, he will listen to you enough just to grab your attention and make him feel wanted.
He is like an open book to you: This man shares his deepest thoughts and secrets with you; things he didn’t even talk about with his wife before.
11. He is constantly checking you out and seeks a way to be alone with you
You’ll notice he glances at you even from miles away.
If he makes eye contact he will follow that with a smile or after a few seconds, he will look away. He does this as a way for you to notice him and to build tension (it’s what flirting is about).
After checking you out he even wants to find a way to be alone with you.
It doesn’t matter if he is your married coworker that is flirting with you or a guy you have met at the bar or on the train, he’ll try to get those alone moments to allow room for intimacy.
12. He gets all clingy on you and texts or calls almost every day
Flirting through text while married is labeled as a deliberate form of cheating.
If a married man knows that you’re single then his way of flirting through text will differ from the way he would text to flirt with a married woman.
If you’re single then he’ll text you straightforward, flirty, and funny messages: Like he wants to know what you’re doing, what your daily activities are. He texts subtle hints to let you know how much he wants to meet you.
If he is flirting through text with a married woman then he’ll send coded texts and give hidden signs of flirting with her. Such as songs or movies that include flirting and romance.
13. He gives you a long long hug and then looks at your lips
The body language of a married man tells a lot when he flirts.
If a married man gives you that long hug and then glances at your lip and smiles he is flirting for sure.
This goes beyond flirting for fun. This means that this married man is looking for something more. He is looking to build a sexual interaction and have something more with you. He is cheating on his wife, at least emotionally.
What to do when a married man flirts with you? – 5 tremendously helpful tips to handle this mess
After reading the signs you’ll know if a married man is flirting with you, now here’s what you can do with that information!
5 tips on how to handle it, whether you’re interested in flirting back or not:
1. Analyze your situation and do not make mistakes. If you want to stop flirting with a married man then you should analyze the situation you’re in and see what actions would lead where.
Have that figured out before you say or do something when around him.
2. Be forward when talking to him. If you are not interested in this type of relationship, be open and tell him that this situation is making you uncomfortable. You want all of his flirting behavior towards you to stop.
3. Ask him to tell you the reasons he is doing this. If he’s unaware that his behavior is flirty, then he’ll notice himself being caught up in the moment. This will at least prevent future flirtatious behavior.
4. Be distant and don’t respond to his calls or texts. Men will be flirting that far until they see no response to it, well most of them. If you stop responding, he will start to get the hint.
5. Remove him from all social media. If you are connected with him on any type of social media, just remove him. Having no contact at all will not give him space to try again and flirt with you.
What makes a married man flirt? – Exactly, why does he flirt?
The reasons why a married man flirts are because he might be distant from his wife around this time, perhaps he hasn’t received any type of attention from his wife, perhaps he’s looking for an ego boost, it’s his way of doing things, he’s a player, and so on…
Honestly, a married man flirts for multiple – mostly selfish – reasons.
If you are wondering why does a married man flirt with other women besides his wife here are the reasons:
1. He is feeling alone – He hasn’t got any attention (sexual, or emotional) from his wife recently. The moment that a married man lacks sexual interaction with his wife he will look for other ways to get what he wants, at least that’s what a lot of men do according to cheating statistics.
He will start chasing and flirting with other women.
2. He wants to raise his self-esteem – He just wants to make sure if he still has that charm that can attract women. Many men when they are settled with a partner later on (or constantly) flirt to see if he still can make a woman chase or fall for them.
It’s a selfish behavior seeking validation and a boost for their poor ego.
3. He wants to be part of something fresh and new – He’s looking for excitement. He might be bored with his relationship since he hasn’t been in the spotlight and his wife might be distant from him for some time, or he just can’t be fulfilled no matter what his wife has to offer.
4. He is not happy with his marriage but cannot admit that to himself. He says that he is perfectly happy in his marriage but his way of acting with other women says the contrary. He flirts to get the excitement that he doesn’t get in that relationship, he fills the void this way.
5. He’s built that way – he’s what most call a player. Yes, players do get married, and yes, they continue the game even though they’re married.
It’s what he does best, it’s what he does to fill a void, it’s what he does to get fulfillment from an external source in hopes of healing and filling his inner emptiness.
Why does a married man flirt hot and cold?
If a married man was the first to flirt with you whether you are a single or a married woman and now he acts cold, then there are multiple indicators for this type of behavior:
1. He noticed he went too far. He starts ignoring you since he saw that he went too far with something he wouldn’t do but was caught up in the moment.
2. He’s got his ego boost: what he needed. He was just playing around and boosting his ego, now he wants to return to his relationship since his self-esteem is leveled up.
3. He saw his ability to attract another woman, and he’s happy with it. He wanted to see whether he is still able to flirt and know that you have reciprocated, he doesn’t want to continue.
4. Guilt hits him now and then. He remembers that he is part of a committed relationship and feels guilty for what he is doing.
5. He’s afraid it’ll turn into something more serious. If you are interested in him too and get involved, he will take a step back since he doesn’t want to be committed to this relationship either.
FAQ: Is flirting with a married man harmful?
1. Why would a woman flirt with a married man?
A single woman flirts with a married man because she doesn’t want to commit to a relationship and flirting is fun, and somewhat fulfilling for her.
Here’s why a woman flirts with a married man:
- She feels more secure with a married man and he seems more experienced in her eyes.
- Has unsolved issues, and causing trouble satisfies her.
- She’s seeking something she hasn’t.
- She’s immature.
- She’s a natural flirt and doesn’t know she’s doing what she’s doing.
Besides those, she might want to make her partner jealous and give him a lecture on how she can find another “just like that”. Again, it’s something that’s somewhat fulfilling for her.
2. Is it wrong to flirt with a married man or vice versa?
This feels like flipping the coin.
First, ask yourself if you want your husband to flirt with another woman to that extent that would make you feel unwanted and uncomfortable.
It’s a form of emotional infidelity, hence for most of us flirting with a married man and/or vice versa is morally wrong.
3. What does it mean if I dream about flirting with a married man?
Dreaming about flirting with a married man is a product of your subconscious.
It could be that you’re seeking something emotional and stability from a relationship you’re in, or one you once were in.
It also could be that you over-thought this attractive married man you saw the other day; his moves, personality, appearance, or time spent with him may have caused your subconscious to make those thoughts/images appear.
4. Why do guys flirt with married women?
Guys are aware that flirting with a married woman there are no strings attached.
According to men, a married woman is in for the quick fun and then goes back to her life with her husband. Then adding here a little boost of his self-esteem since he’ll tell his friends that he was able to get a woman that belonged to someone else.
They like the game and the chase, they’ll keep it going.