Marriage overall is supposed to be a good human experience between two people, filled with respect and honesty. However, this might not be true for many people who tend to look outside their marriage bubble, especially men who seek validation and attention in unfaithful ways.
But, are all men the same? Do they flirt and try to be something more with you, even though they are married? Are they flirting or just being friendly? How do I tell?
Well…the mystery is still unfolding, but for now, let’s zoom in and unravel all the little clues that a married man might be flirting with you. Ready to play ‘The Sherlock’?! Alrighty then!
1. He acts like a bachelor
This is one of the first signs a married man tries to hit on you. He acts like he is a free bird when in reality he isn’t. He doesn’t mention his wife or any other matter related to him being married.
If, however, the other person knows he is married and constantly talks trash about his marriage, saying he wishes he were single, don’t be fooled by his demeanor. It’s just a trick to get you hooked on him.”
2. He contacts you constantly
He’ll call, text, and make every effort to stay in contact with you. When you talk, he’ll steer the conversation away from just the usual topics, even if it starts as work-related.
He’ll guide the discussion in the direction he wants, signaling that he’s interested and eager to learn more about you.
3. Always Available
When married men flirt with you, one of the other signs to read is that they will prioritize you above everyone else including his kids. He goes as far as assisting you with your house chores, buying groceries for you, or any other big or small task, even if you don’t require it or don’t need it
4. Showering you with compliments
They will find any possible way to bombard you with compliments, to make you feel special and valued. Usually, they remark compliments regarding the outer appearance that others might overlook.
He might ask you what kind of perfume you are wearing, or if you changed your hair color or had a cut recently, tell you how beautiful your smile is, or generally just notice those little details to show that they see you and like you.
5. Light Touches
He will “accidentally” touch your arm, put his shoulders around your neck, or brush against your back pretending it’s unintentional.
However, these gestures suggest that he wants to just be near you in subtle ways without getting noticed for doing so. Physical contact is a way to establish a more intimate connection but in a flirty, playful way.
6. He is interested in your dating life
He always wants to know who you are dating, if you are seeing anyone, or talking with anyone. Your love interests, if they are serious, if you love them, your plans regarding any topic on love and dating.
He wants to know: Who their competitors are and if they will ever have a chance with you. In these cases, they will even make you uncomfortable by asking too many personal questions about your dating history.
Note: You do not need to answer them if you don’t want to, make sure you show him you are firm about sharing unnecessary personal details and want to keep them private.
7. A “Virtual Stalker”
Even though married people find social media very discrete, when a men look out to cheat he will follow other women on social media platforms. Either with their accounts or even a fake one. He will like your every post, and comment privately about them. Sees where you go, and what you do and always strikes the chance to have a chat with you. Simply put he is your virtual stalker!
8. The eyes, Chico, they never lie
One of the most subtle yet telling signs is the ✨ Gaze ✨. They’ll flirt with you through their eyes, using eye contact to show that they’re watching and interested. Prolonged glances and the way your eyes meet can be clear indicators that he is attracted to you. The tension is palpable because of the power and energy in those looks—after all, the eyes never lie!
9. He will send you flowers and gifts
One way to tell that a married man is flirting or just friendly with you and possibly seeking something more than just merely flirting is when they gift you stuff in this case it’s usually flowers sometimes even chocolates. They treat you like you are their Valentine. White roses, red roses, every once in a while, they know that by doing so they will pave the way to your heart and convince you to go on a date with him.
Are you confused by his gentlemanly behavior and not sure what to do?
Answer: It’s natural to be lured by his gentleness and the beauty of flowers, but before you take it further ask yourself; are you ready to take all the risks and the complications that come along with this relationship? Once you do, you will have your answer!
10. Playful Flirting
He will tease you with an underlying flirty tone, and joke around to make you laugh. He will lighten the mood and pay attention to you whenever you enter the room.
He will tell you a little pickup gossip and share it exclusively with you, or specifically emphasize inside jokes that suggest a special bond between you two, often with a hint of innuendo.
11. A bit clingy and possessive
He likes to spend a lot of time with you, at this stage of the flirty actions he is now completely infatuated with you. This means he likes to spend most of his time with you and won’t leave your side. It might look flirty and cute at first but often this turns out to be a little clingy behaviour.
He might also get a little possessive showing signs of subtle jealousy about your potential dates. Suggesting what you should do when you go out with men, overall a tendency to control your dating narrative.
Should you end a friendship if a married man is flirting with you?
Deciding whether you should cut off ties with married men or not depends on several factors. We will explain them in just a little bit, but before we continue we should remark on a point that is fundamental to the decision.
We should acknowledge that these men have wives, it doesn’t matter whether they are happy or not, they are already in a committed relationship. She is not a domesticated animal but a person with feelings.
Now, before pursuing a married man, we should keep in mind that this is going to be a triangle, the chances for this triangle are that someone is likely to be left hurt, heartbroken, and possibly with a mental breakdown.
This might not always be the case because there are marriages that are open to polyamory or they already are on the verge of splitting up. Therefore, before making any decision assess the situation and consider everything.
Now… let’s head up to the question should you stay in a friendship with him or not?
Well… I would say;
- Look at your values— Do they align with the fact that you might end up in a relationship with a married man? Is this what you have been looking for all your life? If not, then you should take a step back and this of friendship for once! Where are the boundaries you do not want to pass on to your values and morals in all of this?
- Be sincere in your intentions — You might say I don’t want to be with this man, I don’t want to be a home wrecker but do you? Before making this question you should reflect on whether his intentions and yours are only on the friendship spectrum and you don’t feel anything whatsoever, or deep down you enjoy his flirtings because you also “somehow” feel the same, you are just confused.
- Communication- Sometimes communicating your boundaries and expressing that you don’t like his flirty behaviors, but would like to remain friends, is the best way to find common ground. Speaking to him and asserting how you envision this relationship will help set things straight.
Considering all these aspects, also pay attention to whether his approach is merely banter or genuine flirtation. If you conclude that it is a real flirtation, evaluate the situation accordingly.
“There are many movies, literature, poems, and theses that discuss marriage, cheating, and the ‘other woman’ dynamic, often romanticizing the thrill, shock, and mystery of it.
Should our life be shaped as in the fantasy world of creation or should we wake up to the reality of this world and be mindful of the surrounding? It’s up to you to make the choice…
Until the next time, love you.
Callisto Adams.
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