Flowing, meaningful, and interesting conversations got interrupted for a second. Well, it’s been more than just a second hasn’t it? He hasn’t replied.
Now you’re left with two choices including texting him or simply waiting for his return and not texting him back.
When he doesn’t respond at all, many interpretations come to play.
You suddenly feel the urge to send more texts until he replies, but that doesn’t seem the right thing to do. Good, because it isn’t.
The dilemma – Should you text a guy if he hasn’t replied or not? Here’s what to do!
Here’s when you shouldn’t text a guy if he hasn’t replied!
Different situations require different measures and solutions. This can’t be a one size fits all kind of answer. Your situation is unique on its own.
However, there are some situations in which, generally, texting a guy that hasn’t replied isn’t a good idea.
– It’s only been a short while since he hasn’t replied.
If it has been 6 hours or a bit more and he hasn’t responded yet, you shouldn’t text him.
You’re likely to be projecting actions into him that aren’t there and make a big deal out of nothing.
He might be busy or has other things going on. You can’t expect him to just drop everything and respond whenever you text. Especially, if you take your time texting him.
So you shouldn’t text him after a few hours of no reply.
This follow-up might paint you as needy and clingy even if you aren’t so.
If it’s taking a short while for him to reply, then you want to avoid double-texting.
– He does this very often: it’s become a pattern of his communication.
If this is a pattern of the way he communicates then it could be that he has a busy lifestyle, or that he’s playing games of push and pull with you.
Either way, texting him isn’t a good idea. If he’s busy, you’re likely to sound needy or disrupt him.
While if he’s playing games, texting him is likely to lure you into his games more and more, as this is his intention.
Avoid falling into this trap of being stuck in an ongoing cycle.
You shouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt anymore since this has been happening consistently.
Unless he replies and you try to work out a solution to this problem, perhaps it is better to move on with your life and respect your values.
– He hasn’t replied to a question you asked.
Check the last text you sent him and see if it requires an answer or if was it a statement.
You shouldn’t set yourself up for disappointment.
You are leaving the conversation open in order for him to continue, and if he doesn’t want to take that opportunity, there is nothing you can do.
You shouldn’t text him at all if he doesn’t respond to a text that requires an answer from him.
If he really wanted to, he would have already answered and you wouldn’t let yourself wonder whether your question was offensive or whether something has happened to him.
If he really liked you, this would have been a golden opportunity for him to pass and would have already texted you back with an answer.
On the other hand, some people are simply careless when it comes to their phones. What may seem a big deal to you, might not be anything at all to him.
This is why you’ve got to stay patient, not panic, and not text him if he hasn’t replied to a question of yours.
– You feel like texting him out of loneliness or need for attention.
When making a decision on whether you should text him when he hasn’t replied, you’ve got to check a few things with yourself as well.
Think about the place you’re coming from at the moment.
Are you feeling like texting him because you truly care about your connection with him, or because “How dare he leave me on read?!”
If it’s the former, then it’s a pretty solid settlement. But if it’s the latter, you’ve got to sit patiently and work with yourself through this.
When coming from a place of loneliness or need for attention, you’re not texting him out of genuine reasons.
You’re texting him out of a need to get validation, and the reason that isn’t healthy is that you can’t let that fulfillment depend on a guy. You’ve got to find that within you because you’re so much more than his opinion of you!
Here’s when you should text him if he hasn’t replied!
You should text him only if you know what your motives are since you can’t be sending multiple texts while you get no reply; it will only make you look desperate.
Knowing where you stand in this connection will help in understanding his behavior and clearing your thoughts on whether you should text him or not if he hasn’t replied.
Here’s when you should text him if he hasn’t replied:
– You’re worried about him.
He told you that he might not be able to contact you during a specific time because he’ll be doing something that might be a bit dangerous or you know that he had a health checkup.
This situation is acceptable and if you care about him then you should text him. It just goes to show him that you also care about his well-being.
However, you want to wait until that specific time has passed before you send a follow-up.
During this period you give him space to respond without needing to panic. And when that specific time has passed, you can send him a follow-up text to find out whether he’s okay.
– You want to send the last text and break things off with him.
You might be getting tired of this behavior and you are done making excuses for him.
He keeps holding off from responding and won’t even text back when you text him.
If you decided to break things off with him, then yes, you should text him even if he hasn’t replied. Instead of just disappearing without an explanation, you can send him a text along the lines of:
“Hey [name]. It was great getting to know you, I really had fun. However, I am not a big fan of this kind of communication that seems to be carried mostly by me. I’ll have to let you go from here. It was lovely getting to know you. I wish you the best! ”
This way you are breaking things off with compassion and not letting resentment and anger guide your feelings.
– This is an unusual behavior of his.
You shouldn’t jump to conclusions without hearing the other side of the story. Especially if this is happening for the first time.
Unfortunately, this will still hurt your feelings despite the number of times it happens, but still, give him time to respond.
If you don’t hold the girlfriend status yet, he doesn’t owe it to you to text back ASAP.
However, if the 48-hour mark has passed and still no answer, send him a gentle reminder. It can be a funny meme followed by “Saw this and thought of you”, or a picture of yourself doing something you enjoy.
This way you don’t sound desperate, and shows that you have a life beyond him. Or perhaps he is waiting for you to contact him first since he has always been the one to initiate.
Here are 5 follow-up texts you can send him when he hasn’t replied:
- “Hey, haven’t heard from you since Monday. Just wanted to reconfirm if we are still on for Friday evening?”
- “Hi, I know you’re probably busy right now but I am going to pick up that gaming console for my brother, would you mind telling me which one should I pick?”
- “Hey, I hope you’re having a great week. I just wanted to recheck if this is the store you told me about [insert picture]”
- “I stumbled upon this today and it reminded me of you. Happy Friday!”
- “Hey, about Saturday, are we meeting in front of the Caffe or are we meeting up inside?”
He hasn’t replied in a while? Here’s how we can tackle this!
One thing’s for sure, you don’t want to go down the panic road. A few to 24 hours is not a long time frame that should have you worried.
However, I know the overwhelming feelings can be hard to deal with.
You don’t want to drown yourself in the unhealthy worry that includes thoughts like “It’s my fault.” or “He doesn’t like me, I’ll be single forever.”
Instead of projecting your insecurities and not handling the situation confidently. Here’s how you do that!
Instead of panicking and texting him immediately, you should:
1. Step back and relax: Wait for a while, a day at least.
Try to calm down and relax. Wait for his response and if it doesn’t come, take a deep breath and think of how you’d like to tackle the situation from here.
He might be dealing with something else right now, he might be playing games, or he might just have forgotten to reply.
Whatever the truth is, you shouldn’t let your mood depend on him and his capricious behavior. So, step back and relax.
Ask yourself: What would the highly valued woman you know do?
Think about a high-value woman you know or the high-value version of yourself, how would she respond to the situation?
There is a high possibility that she would take a step back and wait for his response. And if for any reason that response never comes through, she’ll move on.
As there is no time to waste on someone who doesn’t value your time and you altogether.
Perhaps, you should take that into consideration and shouldn’t text him if he hasn’t replied.
You shouldn’t be holding onto something that lowers your self-esteem, makes you feel undervalued and comes as the second-best option.
If this is how he is making you feel, perhaps you shouldn’t be persistent in texting when he doesn’t reply.
If you are confident and believe in your value then he will see that too and put in more effort to try to win you.
2. Avoid waiting by your phone.
Avoid worrying about something that is unknown to you yet.
Leave your phone aside and continue your life as you do normally. Go out with friends, concentrate on your new project, and don’t let a screen ruin your day.
If all of your energy is spent waiting on the phone hoping he’ll text you back, you’ll be missing out on other things that are beneficial to you.
Go out and get busy with something. Do something you enjoy, hang out with your friends, get helpful advice, and don’t put your life on hold because you didn’t receive a text from him.
You’ve got so many amazing things you could be doing right now instead of obsessing over a person you met not long ago.
If his response is that valuable to you, ask yourself if he finds you as valuable as you find him. So, whether you should text him after he doesn’t reply is up to you.
Think about the amount of respect and investment you are putting in him, and if he’s treating you with the same standards as you’re treating him.
3. Identify his texting style.
Take some time to identify his texting style, not all men like to text.
If he initially gave you a lot of attention, constantly texted you, and now stopped all of a sudden, this might be indicating gameplay.
On the other hand, if he’s told you about his bad texting habits from the beginning, or if his texting game was never really that intense, it shouldn’t be something to be taken personally.
Some people just don’t like texting. If he’s one of those people, then relax. He’s not the texter, and it has nothing to do with you or something you’ve said.
4. Don’t make assumptions, especially negative ones!
You shouldn’t assume anything from his actions and project your fears into his behavior.
You should accept that you don’t know him that much and many things can happen. Try not to assume the worst and react negatively to no contact.
Don’t spend too much time thinking and making excuses for his behavior.
The more you try to make sense of the situation, the more complicated it will be. And the more likely you’ll be to accept disrespectful behavior.
If you expect something from him and set a high level of expectations, the reality might just disappoint you more when those expectations aren’t met.
Avoid overanalyzing his behavior or texts or trying to interpret it how you would like it to sound. Don’t exert something that is not there.
Don’t let wishful thinking cloud your judgment.
5. Decide whether you want to text him or not.
Think what would the high-value woman do if she was presented with this case, put yourself in her shoes, gain that confidence, and then make your decision.
If it wasn’t something that didn’t need answering, he probably classified it as such, and just chose not to reply to it since there was nothing to reply to.
However, if you sent in a question and he still hasn’t responded after 24 hours, then don’t text him.
Take your time to consider his behavior and how it is affecting you. Make a decision based on that.
If he’s keeping you on your toes every time he texts you, then he’s probably not as worthy of your time as you may think he is.
Consider all of it, and make a decision. It’s up to you. You’ve got this!
Love,
Callisto
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