Heartbreaks hurt deeply, making you want to call your ex. This is a common feeling after a breakup. Sometimes you want to call your ex, but on other days, you’re unsure.
Many people think about calling or texting an ex because they miss them or believe the ex still wants them. Every relationship and breakup is unique.
To balance your decision first check out
8 reasons why you shouldn’t contact your ex:
1. You are uncertain about your feelings
After a breakup, it’s common to have conflicting emotions, wanting to be close to your ex one day and wishing you’d never met them the next.
Contacting your ex during this time of healing and doubt about their feelings or their significance in your life can lead to disappointment from unmet expectations.
2. You fantasize about your ex’s stance towards you
After a breakup or during a period of no contact, you may find yourself guessing how your ex feels about you.
Do not have specific expectations when contacting your ex, as your past relationship and breakup shape these hopes unrealistically.
If you catch yourself hoping for reconciliation right away, it suggests you’re not fully over the breakup, leading to potential self-doubt and questions about your worth if your ex moves on with someone else.
3. Your ex asked you to not contact them for some time
If your ex asks for no contact after a breakup, respect their wish for space and time, especially if the breakup was difficult or they’ve lost interest.
Following the no contact rule is essential for healing, regardless of how the relationship ended.
Only consider reaching out when you’ve regained self-esteem and fully healed.
4. There were signs that your relationship is over
After a bad breakup, it’s wise to avoid re-entering a toxic relationship.
Reaching out to your ex can trap you in the cycle of the breakup.
If they haven’t reached out after you ended things and a period of no contact, it’s best to maintain distance to prevent further confusion for both of you.
5. You are not over the breakup yet
Only call your ex if you’re thinking clearly and no longer upset.
Contacting your ex without knowing their current situation or if they’ve moved on can lead to disappointment.
A conversation with your ex will be more productive if you approach it without bitterness and from a new perspective.
6. You feel lonely and nostalgic
After a breakup, you may feel lonely, confused, and miss the good times, leading to a desire to call your ex.
However, feeling this way is common, and it doesn’t mean you should reach out to them.
Contacting your ex when you’re feeling lonely might make you seem desperate and unable to move on.
7. You will hinder the process of healing
The best way to recover from a breakup is by not contacting your ex. If you call your ex right after breaking up or during the no-contact period, it stops you from taking care of yourself.
Calling your ex early on can confuse both of you and make it harder to move on.
8. Your ex has been breadcrumbing you after the breakup
Three weeks after no contact, the person who initiated the breakup might send mixed messages, like missing activities you did together, but they won’t directly say they want to reconcile or have changed.
Many people misinterpret these signals, thinking their ex wants them back, which often causes more confusion and pain.
If your ex hasn’t clearly stated they’ve changed and are open to fixing things, it’s best not to reach out hoping to get back together.
8 reasons why you should contact your ex:
1. You have moved on completely
- To know you’ve healed, you stop thinking about your ex every day.
- Call your ex after moving on to have a clear reason for it.
- Don’t expect anything and be prepared for any reaction from your ex.
2. If you work at the same place and share the same responsibilities
Working at the same place or sharing the same house immediately obliges you to text or call your ex.
You can call your ex and have a simple conversation when it comes to mutual responsibilities.
Be aware not to mix your personal feelings the work that has to be done or the responsibilities that need to be taken.
3. Your feelings have changed after the breakup
Breaking up and implementing No Contact changes how you feel. You see yourself, your relationship, and your ex differently.
Accepting these feelings helps you manage anger and sadness.
You’ll understand why you want to contact your ex and how you truly feel about them.
4. You need to get your things from their place
You used No Contact and feel better about the breakup. You want your stuff back from your ex’s place.
You’ll manage your feelings better now. Wait until you’re calm to ask for your things.
Expect various reactions from your ex, like anger or acceptance of the breakup.
5. You realize that you want to reconcile your relationship
Taking time away helps you understand your feelings about your ex.
If you both agreed on the breakup, you’d still care about each other’s happiness.
Breaking up is tough, but if it’s amicable, it’s easier to handle and fix things.
If you think there’s a chance to fix things, reach out to your ex to see how they’re doing. Don’t rush into discussing getting back together right away.
6. You have a child together
This is an exceptional case when you can call your ex after the breakup. If you two have a child then there is nothing wrong with giving a call to your ex when you need their help regarding the child.
To not send mixed signals or even hurt yourself, try to keep the conversation around the questions that you have or the help that you need.
7. You broke up for the wrong reasons
Breakups give you time to think about your relationship. They can happen suddenly. Breakups often result from poor communication or stubbornness.
If distance makes you reconsider, you might contact your ex. But don’t expect anything. Make sure to consider your ex’s feelings and situation first.
8. You’re certain that you’ve made a mistake
If you broke up and feel unsure after 4 weeks of not talking, consider calling your ex. You might wonder if you should reach out during this time.
Remember to think about how your ex feels. You can say sorry and admit your mistake. But your ex might not forgive you. Respect their decision.
How do you stop yourself from contacting your ex?
It’s natural to feel attached to a past relationship. It’s like breaking a habit.
To break this habit, change your routine. This disrupts your usual pattern and helps you change.
Ask yourself why you’re making this choice. Are you lonely, bored, or feeling small without your ex?
- Focus on other activities to ease loneliness and boredom.
- Engage in group activities to feel both lonely and accompanied, aiding in healing.
- Create a rule: instead of contacting your ex, write down your feelings.
- Delete or block their number to avoid temptation.
- Practice emotional stability by making decisions for yourself and expressing your feelings.
- Lean on yourself when you feel down, talk to friends and family, recognize your strengths, and engage in activities like volunteering.
- Have a plan for moving forward and be kind to yourself as you adjust to the breakup.
Don’t rush into calling or not calling your ex just because you feel like it. First, be open to changes and be able to notice how this relationship will impact you or your ex.
Embrace your ex’s reaction and try to move on by improving yourself!
Best,
Callisto
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