Among the difficulties of a breakup and the No Contact rule comes the question: Should I block my ex or shouldn’t during No Contact?
By blocking your ex on everything that doesn’t mean that you are completely following the No Contact Rule. This Rule is more than just wiping your ex out of your life/social media life.
If you want to obey this rule then you should not interact with your ex through phone calls, text messages, social media, or even meet in person.
It doesn’t mean that you have to always block your ex to get him/her back or that the blocking helps you in breaking the chains of grief earlier.
Consider blocking your ex in these cases:
~ when you know that you are done with this relationship;
~ you want to start a new life;
~ you have moved on during NC rule and you’re dating someone;
~ you can’t control yourself from contacting your ex;
~ your ex is provoking you with posts and/or messages;
~ your relationship was toxic;
~ you sense that your relationship is completely over;
While implementing the No Contact Rule and kind of ‘ignoring’ your ex, you might just come to the conclusion that you want this person to be part of your life. That’s a case where blocking your ex isn’t the best idea… Yet!
The difference between ignoring vs blocking your ex during No Contact:
These two are two tools of No Contact that help you move on from the breakup and go through stages of grief.
Ignoring your ex during No Contact – Not to interact with your ex in any way possible. Not answering calls, not texting back, not giving any signs back to them.
You don’t focus on what your ex is doing or thinking during No Contact but you learn how to enhance your self-esteem, try new things, reconsider your feelings by being alone, and meet new people.
Blocking your ex during No Contact – You might block your ex partly or fully.
If you block your ex partly during No Contact, it means you might block some of the apps where you contact or just their number.
But, still, you leave an app that you don’t use as much as others. But you have other tools that your ex might get a look of what your life is now and if your ex wants to break the No Contact with you.
If you fully block your ex then you do not leave any tool to communicate later or even reconnect with your ex (This is not what we would recommend you to do. Only if you have made a strict decision to never go back with your ex again).
Let’s dive into reasons why you would want to block your ex during No Contact?
You thought of blocking your ex, but have you thought about why you are doing it? Here are 8 reasons/opinions/feelings all combined that might go through the heart and mind of a dumpee:
1. To protect yourself from the temptation to text them or protect yourself from their possible texts;
2. Revenge: hoping that your ex will notice your action and will get hurt and start to miss you. Thinking it will work faster than the radio silence;
3. To make them know that this breakup up made you bitter and unhappy;
4. To tell your ex that you do have self-control;
5. Imply that you are winning this breakup;
6. You are all good on your own;
7. Be mysterious and not give your ex a glimpse of what your life is post-breakup;
8. You don’t want to overthink the breakup and blame yourself;
To have a clear idea here are 9 reasons why you should block your ex during the No Contact:
1. Your ex is being rude and constantly showering you with negative comments
Some exes go in a passive-aggressive mode when you use the No Contact Rule on them. Due to this, they might comment negatively on your post, text you, send you some spicy voice message, or even DM you.
If this is a simultaneous action of your ex during No Contact, it is better to just block them and give them the idea that those words are hurting you. Most importantly, protect yourself from that behavior.
This way you use No Contact to just nourish and reflect on your relationship with yourself rather than to get your ex back.
Such behavior can lead you to confusion. So until their anger passes it’s better to block them wherever you can to give them a red signal.
2. You are not self-disciplined enough and are extremely tempted to reach your ex
Most people say: yeah just keep ignoring or just mute their number, that feeling will go away.
The truth is, it doesn’t work like that. Even if you unfollow them, you’ll find a reason and a way to search their profile.
Once you know that you blocked your ex’s number or some of the apps when you are connected, that can prevent you from texting or calling your ex for some time.
If you have had a terrible breakup and have reflected on how negatively impacted this relationship. Blocking can be a very healthy way to turn a new page.
Note: If an ex wants to reconcile then they’ll find a way to do it, even if you’ve blocked them. The point in blocking them is more so to give them the idea that you don’t want to be in touch anymore.
If they’ve got common sense, they’ll get it and leave you alone.
3. During the ‘No Contact’ your ex was the first one that blocked and then unblocked you (on & off all the time)
Oh, here we come to the mixed signals that some of the exes send during the No Contact Rule.
Since even blocking and unblocking you is a sign of “breaking” no contact that will make you even more confused and anxious. It will prevent the process of healing yourself from that breakup.
While your ex will play this type of game with you, it is better to block them to have a better way of nourishing yourself.
It’s a way of giving yourself stability and prevention from further hurt.
4. Your ex posts constantly to make you jealous and that impacts negatively on you
Some say that blocking your ex is a childish decision to make while you’re doing No Contact. Well, that’s not the only or entire truth to it.
The No Contact Rule allows you space, it prevents you from any type of interaction with your ex, right?
Blocking them is not a childish decision if your ex provokes you with ‘new partner’ posts to make you feel guilty, sad, or unworthy. If that’s the case for you – them disturbing your peace – block them, now!
5. You want to heal yourself and focus on self-improvement
A bad relationship often leads you to an obsession with blaming yourself for everything that happened.
And having your ex up to your face through any contact won’t help the process of healing.
Usually, an ex that took you for granted will go fishing back to you and even make your obsession worse.
That’s when you go and block your ex for your good so that you can improve your mental health and boost your confidence.
6. You don’t want to overthink and wait all day for their text or call
It might bug you the fact that here you have your ex’s number and all social media but yet there is no message or call coming.
To get out of this bubble and stop tormenting yourself, the best way to do it is by blocking him.
Control your temptation: block your ex only at those apps or his/her number, on those places that you interacted the most.
This will give you a chance to step back a little and rethink things and feelings.
7. Your ex cheated and you are hurt (you are still processing your feelings)
If you have started no contact after being cheated, the process of grieving through No Contact is hard.
Since for most people cheating can’t be forgiven, the best way to make the No Contact Rule productive is to block your ex.
Because of the guilt haunting them, they’ll try to reach out to you. That gets in the way of your healing process.
To prevent it, you’ve got to block them and not look back.
No matter what your decision will be in the end, blocking your ex, at least for a while, will help you in processing your feelings easier.
8. Your ex was a controlling partner
That’s because a controlling partner, even after splitting wants to know what you’re doing, whom you’re meeting, blame you for everything, even for breaking up with you.
Thus, the No Contact rule won’t help you totally in cutting ties with your ex if you don’t actually block them. Your ex will still look at your stories and try to control you through things that you share online.
Even if you don’t share online they might text you saying that people told me this and that about you. And that’s why blocking your ex will prevent him or her from controlling you still from far away.
9. Your ex is emotionally unstable and doesn’t what he/she wants
After starting the No Contact on an emotionally unstable ex, they wouldn’t consider reaching out to you first. But after a month those mixed feelings (fear, anxiety, pain, uncertainty) would hit them.
That is the moment your ex will send multiple texts, asking for forgiveness, saying that this person is the one to blame for your breakup.
The moment you don’t reply then your ex might start calling you names and change their behavior entirely.
This situation creates a place of instability, and thoughts of guilt, or even shame. That’s why you should hit the block button in this case.
Why shouldn’t you block your ex during No Contact? – 6 reasons why!
1. There was a slight stupid argument for breaking up
If you had a slight argument and you decided to part ways for some time, but the relationship wasn’t treating you badly then don’t rush immediately to block your ex.
Since the No Contact will do its work by keeping your distance and reflecting on your relationship and outgrowing mistakes.
2. You didn’t have a bad breakup: things just didn’t work out
Some relationships just won’t work for multiple reasons and if two of you choose to just part ways in a friendly way then during No Contact while “ignoring” your ex, you have enough time to reflect.
In this case, there is no need to hit that block button.
That’s because there is no specific reason to “hurt” your ex by doing it, making them see that they did things wrong or that you are assuming that will kind of block the process of healing.
Blocking them when you ended things on good terms would leave them hurt and confused.
3. If both of you still have some feelings about each other but need No Contact to process those feelings
From the moment that your ex broke up with you, you can notice if there is still hope for reconciling soon.
If your ex tells you that they need time to just process the feelings and spend some time alone then not contacting your ex in any way will help.
Don’t use blocking in this situation since it will make your ex think that since he or she is the one that broke up with you, now you want either to hurt him, take revenge, or might think that you are acting childishly.
4. If you don’t feel like doing it and somebody else tells you to do it
I know that during No Contact you are hurt, you have mixed feelings, and that can lead you to seek advice from anyone.
The best thing to do is listen to yourself and have a close look at these things:
~ Does blocking your ex help in focusing on yourself and not what your ex is thinking or feeling during No Contact?
~ Does blocking your ex feel like a shield from a toxic relationship?
~ Does blocking them help in ignoring signs from your ex of making you feel weak and small (such as when your ex posts pictures with another partner and indirectly compares her/him with you)?
~ Does your ex is a stubborn and controlling one and does not respect and leave you enough space to move forward in peace?
Don’t block your ex if someone else says that has worked for them. Since everyone has different personalities and every couple has different types of breakups.
Do it only if you know it’d bring you peace and stability to your healing process.
5. You upgraded from a ‘Platonic Relationship’ to romantic but your ex decided to just be friends
Sometimes platonic relationships can get pretty complicated once they turn into romantic relationships.
If you went from platonic to romantic and it didn’t work out then the No Contact period is quite enough to help you move on.
You don’t text or call your ex, don’t write any comment or like his/her pictures, or even talk about how you can share the Netflix account – the point of No Contact.
| Note: If you don’t feel like continuing the relationship as just friends you might unfollow or just mute their profile or number. Do that just to give a small signal to know that your feelings aren’t the same since the relationship has been shifted from one status to another. |
6. If your ex is reasonable and keeps the distance and does not disturb the process of radio silence
This one is pretty obvious. There is no need to block your ex if that person is quite disciplined and doesn’t make drama during No Contact to make you feel bad or interfere with your process of healing.
So as long as your ex is keeping a respectful distance there is no need to just jump immediately and block him or her in any way possible.
You might end up hurting them, and knowing this would hurt you too. It’d disrupt your healing process to deal with another pain.
What to do if I blocked my ex (in every way) during No Contact, but I want my ex back?
I know that sometimes you might think that the only solution for being healed from the breakup is blocking your ex in any app and even deleting his or her number to move on.
But have you heard about blocker’s remorse? You can reverse things once you notice that what you did was wrong or just an impulsive act and that No Contact has already started working on you.
1. Look for the reason why you want to unblock your ex during No Contact.
Was it another impulsive act? If you concluded that during NC your ex had a good impact on you then you might start the process of unblocking in one of the apps or numbers.
If your ex is an empath they will understand that they might have hurt you and this is the way you chose to cope with it.
But never do it if you want them back because you feel mediocre without them, you miss the intimacy, or so on.
2. Start by unblocking your ex’s number.
If you want to get your ex back and you’re all healed and there is a chance of getting back together with your ex then you can start by unblocking their number and if they want to reach you then they can do it via texting/calling.
3. If you have changed the password of your common Netflix account, return the old password.
This is a little step to make your ex know that you are still in No Contact but that there is no need to block them on everything.
4. If you still have mixed feelings then just stick with the block until you are all cleared and know what your future relationship will be.
This way you won’t send the wrong message. During this process, be cautious to not send mixed signals by blocking and unblocking them.
If you decide to unblock them or follow them, know that you’re doing it for a strong reason and that there is no going back and forth.
The psychology behind blocking an ex during No Contact: What will my ex think if I block them during No Contact?
If you block your ex during No Contact there are tons of different opinions that go through your ex’s head:
1. You’re hiding something;
2. Omg, this is such an immature act;
3. My ex is doing this just to stop me from having a peek at his or her profile; Many people after break up go and stalk their ex profiles on social media.
4. What does my ex want?
5. Yeah, sure my ex feels guilty for not getting back to me;
6. I must have hurt her/him;
7. My ex is playing mind games with me;
8. This is the way to make me go back;
9. Is this the end of our relationship?
10. This is getting me angry at some point;
11. I just don’t want to go through this;
But in the end, you shouldn’t let any opinion of others impact the way you act after the breakup and during No Contact.
Why did my ex block me during/after No Contact?
An ex blocks you during and after No Contact to tell you that your ex is hurt, has moved on, or that this is a sign that your ex is missing you.
These reasons are just glimpses from different perspectives of different types of relationships and breakups. Always based on the timeline of your No Contact (whether it’s a few weeks, 30 days, 45+, or 90).
During No Contact:
– If your ex blocks you during No Contact then that means that the No Contact rule has worked and instead of reaching you this is their way to show that they need your attention.
This is a method that most types that are emotionally avoidant, narcissists, and stubborn use to express that they need you back in their life.
– If you have been in No Contact for more than two months and still didn’t interact with your ex then the reason why your ex might block you is that this person is ready to move on.
If you weren’t ready to return your ex’s calls or messages for two months that is a big NO to your ex and they took it that way.
– If you have blocked your ex during the first weeks of No Contact then your ex might do it to take some type of ‘revenge’ and hurt your pride and feelings.
It could be that he or she doesn’t want to talk or that they even need some time to process their feelings.
After No Contact:
If your ex blocked you right after the No Contact then this person noticed the fact that you have been doing good on your own since after the breakup.
Your ex might have a hard time after the No Contact since the breakup hits the dumper through the last weeks of No Contact and after that.
Wrapping it up: Should you block your ex during the No Contact Rule?
It depends on your situation.
Yet, that won’t mean that you’ll make that person come running back to you or get his/her attention quicker.
This is a fundamental method to just cut ties with your ex who might have shown that doesn’t have interest in you anymore, has treated you badly before and during the No Contact, and has demolished your self-confidence.
As always, the best way to properly follow the No Contact Rule is to keep focusing on yourself, set boundaries, and open your heart to good!
Take care and all the best,
Callisto
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