When an ex tells you to move on they either are over you or are playing games.
You can find its meaning just by reflecting on his interaction with you.
To be more specific, its meaning depends on the reason you broke up and on his attachment style.
When an ex tells you to move on they might be pretending to be over you.
Now, they want you back so they decide that they will use reverse psychology.
You’ll notice that their actions won’t match their words.
In the meantime, they will initiate contact with you but advise you to move on.
I know that this situation can be confusing for you and very frustrating but here are 10 meanings of it:
1. He doesn’t know what he wants right now
Even if the breakup was normal or messy, there are some things left unsaid and some unresolved feelings.
If he tells you to move on and still keeps in contact with you, his head must be a mess.
He might be fighting with his feelings and thoughts.
Now, he knows that he needs some time apart and alone to reflect on the breakup and everything.
At some point, men are built differently.
A man will hang on to his feelings longer because he doesn’t deal with them immediately after the breakup.
This creates a disconnection between what’s happening and his feelings.
He is left in confusion but doesn’t want to end the relationship for good.
2. He needs to boost his ego
A lot of people feel sad, anxious, and lonely after a breakup.
There comes a certain time when he will be nostalgic and will feel unlovable.
He is not healed yet, is confused, and doesn’t know whether he wants to move on and look forward.
That’s why he goes to old feelings and contacts you even though he tells you to move on because he wants to feel something.
He doesn’t want you to get over him completely and wants to make himself feel important once again.
In this case, the move on means the contrary. He just wants to get you hooked up.
| If you need to know more about his post-breakup psychology, you need the extra advice of a relationship coach. |
3. You are allowing it to happen
If you are available for your ex and you don’t set boundaries then he will have the upper hand.
He will have the power to control your feelings and thoughts. He might notice that now you’re clingy and needy.
If you haven’t started to use the No Contact yet then you are allowing him to still have access to your life.
Since you’re being needy, he will think that whenever he wants, you will be there for him.
He knows that you will do the contrary and pursue him even more if he tells you to move on.
He will use this to benefit from your friendship or from your presence.
4. He wants to hurt you
If a narcissistic ex tells you to move on then they do it just to mess up with your head and feelings.
They will know that they’re pushing some crucial buttons and already know your reaction.
In general, a narcissist likes to take revenge just because their aim is not reached.
He knows that deep down it is hard to change your opinion by being straightforward.
All these tactics are done to make you think that you’re not enough to be loved again.
What he will do is work toward breaking your self-confidence by implying that he is not interested.
He will state that he has moved on already and that you need to move on too.
5. He doesn’t like to and can’t commit but isn’t completely over you
Here comes another issue that even you might encounter.
A relationship can end for various reasons but mostly it ends because he can’t commit.
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you or that he isn’t interested in making the relationship work.
Sometimes commitment issues are deeper than we think.
He wants you to move on and find better so maybe he can work on these issues or continue his thing.
Nothing is guaranteed, hence there is nothing to do in this case.
You just need to give him space and time to work on his feelings and on his issues.
Is up to him then if he’s going to work in this direction and make the relationship work once again.
6. He wants to keep you as an option
He thinks that he’s creating scarcity by using reverse psychology will push you toward him.
He thinks that this will bring you closer and he will use it either for his intentions or that he still has feelings for you.
If he tells you to move on and he moved on but still keeps in contact with you that means that he just wants to use you.
- He might call you late at night just to get laid or be with you for his own benefit.
He is using relationship benefits without taking responsibility for his actions.
So, to be more specific, he just wants to have access to you when it’s convenient for him.
7. They just don’t feel anything for you
When a relationship ends permanently an ex will tell you to move on because they’re no longer interested in you.
He can’t form a relationship with you if he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.
So, he wants to disconnect from everything and start a new life.
Also, he doesn’t want to keep you around him if he doesn’t want you.
In this case, he will try to detach completely from you.
- ~He will block you or remove you from social media or any other platform.
- ~He will be careful to not bump into you.
- ~He will change his entourage so you won’t meet just because you have mutual friends.
If he does all these things and tells you to move on then he means it.
8. He is hurt by you
When you hurt someone in a relationship that leaves a big scar in their life.
If you hurt him and he tells you to move on then he really means it.
This doesn’t mean that he is over you or that he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.
This means that the pain that he is experiencing triggers him to detach himself from you completely.
If the relationship was toxic then he tells you to move on so he doesn’t have to go through the same trauma.
Now, even the slightest contact with you will make him go through the same experience.
That’s why he chooses to detach himself from all this experience and heal.
9. They realized that they’re no good for you
This is not something that happens all the time but there is a small percentage of people that do this.
When an ex realizes that he is no good for you and is emotionally intelligent, he will ask you to move on.
He does this because it might take him more time to work on himself and doesn’t want to keep you hanging.
In this situation, he is taking a step back from something that he might not contribute any longer.
This will be a hard pill to be swallowed but it’s better to reflect earlier than to form a toxic relationship.
10. He is in another relationship
When an ex starts to lose feelings for you, he will start to pull away from you way before the breakup.
If he did this and then tells you to move on then he might have had another relationship on the way.
Right now, he is focused on his new relationship and doesn’t want to have any mixed thoughts or feelings.
Also, if your ex is in a rebound relationship, he will tell you to move on because he might want you to chase him.
He might want to make you jealous so you can be back together.
This all depends on your situation and what your ex feels about you right now.
Do exes come back after telling you to move on?
He might and might not come back after he said you to move on.
This depends on why he said it to you and if there is anything left to get in contact with you.
~He might come back if there are some unresolved feelings and he still has feelings for you.
If he has claimed that he wants to be alone and that you need to move on then he wants to detach from you.
Maybe he has lost interest and does not feel the same about you.
If he says so doesn’t mean that they are being rude to you.
It might mean that they don’t want to hurt you or give you false hopes.
~If he needs to boost his ego and not feel lonely then he might be back.
It depends on his attachment style but if he is nostalgic and needs someone then he might come back.
~On the other hand, if he has started to use the No Contact with you and now is in another relationship, he won’t come back.
This means that he has moved on and is looking forward to something new.
If he told you to move on he will come back only if he needs something from you or the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
Yet, whether your ex will come back or not depends on so many circumstances, there isn’t just a simple answer.
My ex told me to move, what do I do?
When an ex tells you to move on you need to shift the focus to yourself.
No matter what his intentions are, you need to detach and distance yourself.
They like to play with your emotions even if they are saying it to you to move on totally or not.
~Try to accept and embrace his words, no matter what their meaning is.
If you keep just focusing on your ex and what these words mean, you will be stuck in a loop.
Try to focus more on improving yourself. Once you are healed and nourished, you will reflect differently.
All this new energy will reflect on everyone, even on your ex.
If he is still interested, he will come back. Yet, you need to think of how you feel now if you still have feelings for him or not.
Bottom line: My ex told me to move on
An ex will tell you to move on either to end up things for good or to keep you stringing along.
When he still has feelings for you, he will do it just so you can keep on pursuing him.
He just loves all the attention and that type of neediness that you show.
On the other hand, when he is hurt or has lost interest in you, he will be gone for good.
Now, he is giving you closure by telling you to move on.
It’s hard to be in this position, especially if you have still feelings for him.
Hence, try to shift this negative energy to a positive one by focusing to nourish yourself.
Good luck,
Callisto Adams
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