When an ex texts after you have stopped contact, there is a motive behind it.
Emotions wash over you when you see their name pop up on your screen just a week after you went No Contact.
Confusion and dilemma can get puzzling once you start thinking about your response to their text.
Understanding the reasons behind their attempt to reach out.
Here are 13 reasons why your ex texted you after a week of no contact:
1. There wasn’t anyone better than you
There’s a point after the breakup where you can’t see yourself fitting with anyone else but your ex-partner.
You agreed to No Contact, but now that ‘realization’ hits and they just can’t seem to picture themselves moving on.
They might manage a few days, but they fail to carry on for more than a week, and they just deceit to text you.
The excitement and the experiences they thought they could live after breaking up with you weren’t as dreamy as they had imagined.
Texting you a week after no contact shows the regret behind their decision and the hope or even the expectation that you will get them back.
It’s the vulnerable emotional state that you are in which might work in their favor.
2. They’re still attached to you
Ex broke no contact after 3 days because he is still attached to you
Dealing with a breakup is hard and people have different coping mechanisms that will guide them toward acceptance.
However, some attachment styles accept the break up faster and move on, whereas for some it takes a bit longer for the road of recovery.
When your ex texts 3 days or a week after no contact it means that they haven’t been able to think their feelings through appropriately.
They texted you because of the fear of losing you, because of their attachment to you, and the connection you’ve had together.
They’re afraid that you’ll forget them, hence the need to remind you of their existence.
They can’t fathom the idea of no contact, especially if you were the one to suggest it. Look out for narcissistic tendencies such as:
- Throwing the blame on you;
- Finding faults in your behavior to take them back;
- Emphasizing how they’re the only one that can put up with you;
3. They’re curious to know how you’re doing without them
A week of no contact can seem a very long time if the breakup is fresh.
You’re used to each other’s presence, and now you’re curious about your whereabouts and doings without one another.
Breaking no contact after two weeks often happens because curiosity gets the better of your ex.
Along with curiosity comes the fear of seeing you moving on, letting you go, or being forgotten by you. Hence the urge to reach out.
The idea of not being hung up on them doesn’t settle well and somehow bruises their ego.
Usually, the dumper feels entitled to breaking up and thinks that the other person will come crawling back since they were the best there was.
Your ex also wants to keep up with the updates regarding your dating life.
It hurts them to see you moving on so fast, hence the urge to vanish that crawling curiosity every minute of the day.
4. They care to know how you’re taking the breakup
Not all exes have selfish motives when they text you after a week of No Contact.
Depending on your situation and the connection you’ve shared, your ex could also be genuinely concerned about your well-being.
This can be so, especially if your relationship ended on a good note.
There might not be excessive questioning about your personal life or specific questions they’re interested in, such as your dating life.
If he’s just asking general questions about your life and things that you were expecting to happen such as a promotion, moving out, your family, or a normal friendly check-up.
They might know your ways of dealing with the stress of heartache and they reach out with genuine care to soothe your pain.
5. They’re feeling lonely
Nights and days can get lonely, and your ex knows someone who might just respond: you.
Your ex texted after a week of no contact somewhere late evening, they might be feeling lonely and are hoping for you to be available.
After your break up, they might be hoping to continue your relationship with no strings attached and enjoy the benefits.
Late-night texts from your ex come because of the thought of being an option for a booty call or a friends-with-benefits relationship.
Being friends with benefits might increase the likelihood of you experiencing heartbreak again since you were previously attached.
While being in such a vulnerable state you might easily recatch feelings for one another, making it harder to detach from one another and move on.
6. Texting you became a habit hard to quit
Your ex texted after a week of no contact habitually
Falling off the habit of texting you when they’re excited or sad might be hard, that’s why they texted you out of nowhere.
Since it is hard to break habits, you might be at the receiving end of habitual texting.
They need more time to get used to the idea of you not being there.
It’s how the psychology of an ex works, you might be feeding into your ex’s habits more if you reply to their texts.
Your reply can be considered as a reward for their actions making it easier for them to text you next time and the time after that.
That being said, not rewarding this behavior means not replying to their texts.
Eventually, they’ll stop and break this habit.
7. They want to confirm your availability for them
This relates to their way of validating their importance in your life.
Not replying to them would mean you’re trying to move on and you’re determined to do so.
However, if you reply, they’ll, at least, subconsciously confirm to themselves their importance in your life.
It’s a way of testing their impact on your days and emotional state so they validate themselves and their values as a person.
This can be a symptom of low self-evaluation or low self-esteem. Either way, they’re using you to validate themselves consciously or subconsciously.
That isn’t healthy for either of you.
8. They want to know if you found someone new
The curiosity about whether they’ve got replaced after a week is yet another reason why your ex can text you after no contact.
Considering that you’re no longer updating one another on your lives, a week of no contact is enough silence for the intrusive thoughts to kick in.
That curiosity is likely to not let them sleep at night.
The thought of you finding someone else spins in their head so much that it makes them break the no-contact and text you.
You were theirs once, now they can’t wrap their head around the idea that you’re no longer together.
They want to know if you’re seeing someone else and they’ll text you to find out. Yes, even if it’s been just a week of no contact.
9. Something reminded them of you
After 3 days of no contact, there might have been a meme, a song, or a joke that reminded them of you, hence the decision to text you.
Because of this sudden reminder, the feeling of missing you might have become overwhelming for them, leading to them breaking the no-contact rule.
Depending on the length of your relationship, they might be finding it difficult to stop missing you.
This could be an attempt to make you aware of the impact that the breakup has had on your ex. A way of letting you know you’re missed.
10. Your ex is looking for an ego boost
The need of being wanted gets back in. They feel the urge to reach out to you and feel wanted again.
You’ve been able to maintain your end of the bargain but your ex starts feeling left out. They feel the urge to feel wanted by you again.
Thinking you’d reach out by now, they got a hit of surprise the moment they realized you’re not going to reach out like they thought you would.
Now, they’re feeling the need to be validated and get an ego boost from you.
They’re seeking validation, having their ego stroked, and a distraction from what they’re feeling at the moment.
They want to feel wanted again by a source that gave them love and affection, especially now that they no longer have that source—you.
11. They’re trying to guilt-trip you
Breaking no contact after one or 2 weeks with loving texts that are asking you to return to them and telling you how much you’ve hurt them, clearly shows their intentions.
Contacting you while you are in no contact can be the beginning of an unhealthy strategy to get you back. They might try to
- Guilt trip you;
- Redirect the blame on you;
- Promise changes they promised before;
- Compliment their way back into your life;
With such a strategy, they plant the seed of doubt in your head, making you question your decision and shake your determination.
12. They need your help with something
Considering that you shared an intimate connection before you broke up, the need to ask for one another’s help can still linger.
Although you broke up, the connection can still be there.
Your ex might need something from you, your help on something, or something practical that only you can provide/solve.
This can be a genuine need for help, or an attempt to manipulate you back into the relationship.
Unfortunately, the only way to find out is to respond to their text.
Remember to avoid doing things you’re not comfortable with, you don’t owe it to them.
If it hinders your process of moving on and your journey of self-growth and healing, you don’t have to do it.
This is yet another one of the many manipulation tactics an ex can attempt to use to get you back.
If your ex is immature, they’re likely to break the no-contact rule for the sole purpose of making you feel regretful for “what you’ve lost.”
Your healthy way of moving on is what’s lowering their confidence since they thought of themselves as unforgettable.
By acting strong, moved on, and active, they try to make you feel jealous of what they’re doing without you.
This is their way of trying to win a game they’re on with you despite you knowing you’re in it or not.
Their sense of entitlement to your joy doesn’t let them accept that you’re moving on, making them feel the need to show you how well they’re doing.
This can also be a strategy to make you want them back, think they’ve changed, or start thinking there’s no one better out there.
Should you reply to your ex’s text after they broke no contact?
When your ex breaks no contact after a week, they’re in high hopes of getting a response from you and hopefully turning it into a conversation.
Despite the sorry you might feel for your ex, you are not obligated nor owe your ex a response.
If you don’t feel ready to talk to them, respond to them with a text message, or feel comfortable responding, then ignore their text.
You shouldn’t respond to it especially if you feel like doing so would interrupt or disrupt your healing process.
You might be having problems and the journey can seem bumpy, but silence will help you reestablish who you are, and how you see obstacles.
Dating expert Matthew Hussey explains that constant contact from your ex, during no contact, will dilute the effects of the breakup.
Texting after a week of no contact is too early to understand the impact your ex had in your life and discover life without them.
Use this time apart to clear your thoughts and help yourself see things more pragmatically.
Participate in activities you enjoy, surround yourself with friends and family, practice mindfulness, and do physical activity.
To help yourself even more in your recovery, talk to a therapist.
The hand of a professional can help you get out of the dark pit where you might find yourself trapped after a breakup.
You’ve got this!