Breakups are hard in general, but the hardest is when you are being left for someone else.
You can’t only bare the fact that your relationship has already ended but that you’re also being replaced.
You feel like they will never are going to come back and that this relationship has ended forever.
Not knowing how to react or how to heal is quite normal in this situation.
You will be numb from all the pain and you will feel in denial.
This is all a result of not being able to process the fact how can someone you used to share everything to replace you in an instant.
I assume that you are thinking if you need a game plan to turn things around or heal….
To handle this situation most realistically, here are 12 key tips:
1. Know that you are not defined by your ex’s decision
Being left for someone else is a feeling that will eat you up for some time.
It is not an easy situation to deal with because at the same time with your feelings your ego is hurt the most.
You will feel embarrassed for being stepped over and devalued.
That’s quite normal because you are hurt by their decision and behavior.
Hence, you need to know that all their behavior isn’t fully connected to your worth.
In this situation, you need to realize that it’s not only in your hands to please your ex.
To have a better understanding of this situation you need extra help from personal coaches.
Throughout their session, you will be able to elevate yourself and search for new coping mechanisms.
You will have a day-to-day plan to follow so you can progress and heal.
2. Write down what might have not worked in the relationship
This is the moment that you need to shift your mindset.
I know that after an ex leaves you for someone else, you tend to blame yourself.
Instead of doing it, try to write down every little thing that caused your fights and the breakup.
When things don’t work in a relationship that can be a result of both of you.
While writing, you can create a different point of view regarding your breakup.
Make sure to pour every emotion and every thought that comes to your mind.
It is quite understandable that it’s not an easy task but it can help you to understand your feelings better.
Thus, you can process the breakup differently and you’ll be able to move on easily.
3. Use the No Contact Rule
Either if your ex left you for their ex or another woman or man, distance yourself.
By slowly detaching yourself from this situation, you will reflect differently.
When you use the No Contact rule, you will learn to accept solitude and learn to live by yourself.
You can take control of this situation only by stepping back.
- By being involved with your ex constantly, you won’t be able to know your ex’s true intentions;
- You won’t realize your great potential and that you can be loved;
- You will be able to know the notion of what a healthy relationship is.
4. Try to not isolate yourself and work on your feelings
Isolating oneself after the breakup is a type of coping mechanism.
Especially, when you are hurt by your ex and you are left for someone else.
As backed by science, being left for someone else hurts more than just being rejected just for being you.
The denial makes you eager to get your ex back and show your worth to know ex.
Not being able to achieve your goal and go through the process of grieving, you will tend to isolate yourself.
Instead, vent to family or friends or even hire a personal coach. This will help you to feel the pain and heal from the breakup.
Thus, you won’t be stuck in the past and you will allow yourself to feel the pain and loss.
5. Embrace the situation
Embracing a situation that you can’t change isn’t that easy.
That’s why embracing the fact that an ex dumped you for someone else should be done in small steps.
- The first thing that you need to do is to realize that not everything is under your control.
- Let yourself feel the negative emotions and recognize your negative thoughts.
- Change what is possible, starting with yourself.
- Embrace your positive traits and recognize your accomplishments.
- Ignore the power of “What if thoughts” by trying to live day by day.
It’s quite ordinary that you can’t embrace the situation right away. It will take time to move on.
You can start small every day by doing things that are under your control so you can create the right mindset.
6. Reflect on your behavior too
Your ex might have left for someone else if there was a lack of communication in the relationship and commitment.
The breakup isn’t always initiated by the mistakes or the behavior of just one person.
You might be caught up in the whirlwind of the relationship and not be able to reflect properly.
When an ex leaves you for someone else might not always be their fault or because they feel out of love.
- Your ex might have lost trust in you;
- You have spent less time with your ex and have not tried to understand their needs;
- You stopped loving them and didn’t treat them fairly;
In this case, you should be responsible for your actions and reflect properly.
If you think that there is a chance to rekindle the relationship then you should apologize to your ex.
You can start small to rebuild their trust and show that you are working on your flaws.
In the end, humans can learn from their mistakes and try to recreate something different.
7. Try not to blame yourself or others
Blaming yourself after being dumped by your ex is the first thing that you might do.
This is inevitable because immediately your ego and confidence are crushed.
Hence, to get a grip on this situation, you need to slowly forgive yourself first.
Without forgiving yourself, you won’t be able to move forward and look at the situation from a different perspective.
You need to understand that your ex’s choices are linked with their desires and their instant needs.
They might have thought that they might be happier creating another relationship without ending yours properly.
They might not give closure or any specific answer why they are behaving like that.
Hence, later on, they might go through the dumper’s remorse stage and ponder their decision.
8. Clear out everything they gave you
Being left for someone else is the worst feeling in the world.
That’s because you believe that when someone truly loves you, they will fight for you.
Yet, they prove totally the contrary the moment they leave you for someone else.
To cut this pain and be able to have things under control, you need to get rid of gifts and things from your ex.
This way, you will be less exposed to their presence and you will be focused only on yourself.
It is quite normal to not be able to do it immediately. You will do it one day at a time and you’ll disconnect slowly.
- Start by removing the gifts from your ex that you have in your house;
- Try to not hang out with mutual friends;
- Avoid frequenting the same places as your ex;
- Create a new routine;
9. Avoid joining a rebound relationship
Becoming a part of another relationship just to take revenge and show how valuable you are isn’t a good choice.
Now, you should give yourself some time to heal. This is the moment to spend on your own, reflect, and try to heal.
Take a step back and think about what happened in this relationship.
I understand that you want to be loved again and want to feel important once again.
If you want to gain confidence again after the breakup or deal with loneliness and anxiety learn to love yourself.
It’s important to practice mindfulness and self-love through hobbies and outdoor activities.
Becoming a part of another relationship without healing first, will give you more pain.
10. Set a goal and keep yourself focused
Setting a certain goal after the breakup will be a pivotal point for you.
This will help you to avoid comparing yourself with the person that your ex chose over you.
When you have a certain goal and focus to achieve it, you will change your mindset.
You will no longer compare your skills or worth to your ex’s new partner.
You can detox your mind and body just by setting a small goal to achieve.
On day one, you can change your eating or sleeping habits. Keep in mind, just to start small.
I know that the healing journey and finding the will to learn to love yourself won’t be easy.
Hence, you should be patient and make a day-to-day plan, so you can stay right on track.
11. Realize that you can control only your feelings
Being clingy after the breakup isn’t something unusual. That is quite normal because you are still processing the idea of being on your own.
You want to hang on to your ex and you want them to choose you again.
That’s why it is important to understand that you only have your feelings under control.
Even though you might try to understand their psychology after the breakup, you can’t manipulate them.
The first step that you need to make is to create the right mindset and heal from codependency.
- Start by embracing reality and recognizing your grief;
- Establish boundaries with your ex and yourself too;
- Take a break from everything for a short period, try to create a new reality for a moment;
- You can also get the help of a therapist to work on your codependency;
12. You should allow the change
When he or she leaves you for another woman or man, your daily pattern is changed.
That’s why you can’t immediately adjust to change because all your love and spending time together are gone.
What hurts the most, in this case, is not that your life has changed but you can’t adjust to rejection.
This is something normal to feel when your ex left you for his/her ex or someone else.
- Start by spending time on your own and recognizing what you’re feeling.
- You need to let your feelings out. You can cry, shout, listen to music, and do everything that helps in this process.
- Externalize the change by spotting your negative thoughts and not pushing them on the back of your head.
Ex left me for someone else and now wants me back
When an ex leaves you for someone else and at some point wants you back for several reasons.
The reason can be related just to them or to you.
~If you have improved yourself after the breakup, your ex wants to be back because they think that they are missing this change.
They might have not been patient to see and experience your progress and now they want to be a part of it.
~They realized that they lost you permanently. The moment the dumper regrets their decision, they want to get back and seek a second chance.
Your ex might have started to lose interest in you and did not bother to spot the problem.
A partner who loves you and wants to make the relationship work, they won’t give up immediately.
~They might have been dumped by their new partner and now want some comfort.
If you didn’t draw boundaries after the breakup, an ex will think that they can still consider you as a backup plan.
If you allow this then they will try to come back as if nothing has happened.
They might even somehow ask for forgiveness indirectly just to get back your attention and never mean it.
~Thus, when your ex comes back after leaving you for someone else you should step back and think clearly.
If they once left you for another person, chances are that they might do it again.
Don’t think that this is their way of testing you so you can restart the relationship.
On the contrary, this might be a plan to come back and create a relationship without any commitment.
Once the heart is broken and you go through the breakup, you will be a different person. You will feel, think and reflect differently.
If you are starting to heal then focus on it and not let them drag you to the past once again.
Why a man chooses a woman over another?
A man chooses a woman over another according to his preferences, desires, values, and so on.
These reasons aren’t always the main ones since a man chooses a woman over another to fulfill their void also.
Sometimes, a man chooses a woman that they think will elevate them and fulfill their ego.
Even though they don’t have stronger feelings for them, they will do it.
On the other hand, someone prefers a woman who is less independent so they’ll have full access to them.
Every man has his perceptions and preferences. That’s why you should never take it personally when they choose another woman over you.
Just keep your head up and work on yourself.
Just by upgrading yourself, you will be able to make a difference and choose what’s best for you.
Ex left me for someone else, will it last?
Usually, when an ex leaves you for someone else, their priority is their new relationship.
Well, if you ask will it last? Then that only depends on how invested they are in their new relationship and why they left you.
- If your relationship was toxic and they found a healthy relationship then probably that will last.
Weirdly, no one has mentioned that even if they found peace in a relationship it might take time to adjust.
They might be appreciated, heard, and loved in this relationship, but they might find themselves not compatible.
It isn’t always about love and being appreciated that will make the relationship work.
Sometimes, you need just a little spark and compassion.
- If they were afraid of commitment in your relationship, they will continue to be like that in the new relationship.
In this case, it is hard for them to make the relationship work and last.
If they aren’t on the same page then it is quite hard to make it work.
- If they cheated on you with someone else then they might do the same thing to them too.
If they have lost interest in you and wanted to have a fling, then their relationship won’t last.
That’s because as long as there is no emotional intimacy, the relationship will fail.
Bottom Line: Being left for someone else….
Being left for someone else is the worst type of a breakup.
When your ex chooses someone over you that doesn’t mean that you have failed in life.
I know that is a hard pill to be swallowed but know that your ex’s behavior is not under control.
What you can control is focusing on your feelings and improving yourself.
When this happens, I know that’s hard to do but choose yourself. You are worthy of a choice.