I was having a peaceful weekend texting with my (then) boyfriend on Whatsapp. I see my texts being sent but not seen. He was online.
“Just a glitch,” I thought to myself.
Well, the glitch turned out to be that he was texting someone else and I was clueless about it. Mind you, he was sexting.
That surely became a glitch in our relationship and it all went downhill from there.
Doubting your partner is talking to someone else on Whatsapp? Here are 6 signs and 3 ways to find out!
1. He’s online and doesn’t respond to your messages.
If a person is online on Whatsapp and they don’t respond to your messages, they’re likely to be texting someone else.
Now, if he’s online and still hasn’t read your messages, he’s definitely talking to someone else (not necessarily in a romantic context).
Everyone can have a busy day, a text that requires an immediate response, or a friend in need of help.
However, if your boyfriend is online on Whatsapp but not talking to you consistently then you might just be a little bit further down in his list of priorities.
He might be texting his co-workers, family, or friends. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s texting another woman on Whatsapp, but it doesn’t exclude the chance.
2. He goes offline the minute you text him.
Let’s say he was online, you texted him, and he immediately went offline from Whatsapp.
This is a behavior that could also indicate he’s texting someone else.
If he’s online it means he’s using Whatsapp. Now, Whatsapp is a messaging app, it is not social media. There’s no feature such as ‘explore’ in it.
So, if you happened to notice this becoming a pattern, then he could be talking to someone else and gets out of the app the moment he sees you texted him.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s texting someone else in a romantic or sexual context. It just means he’s texting someone else other than you.
He could be busy and have time to have a ‘live’ conversation with you on Whatsapp so he just gets out of the app and replies later to your messages.
If you’re doubting he’s using WhatsApp, social media, or dating apps to talk to other people then you can take lighter measures such as searching for his phone number on Socialcatfish.
3. The check marks become gray when you’re chatting.
Blue check marks on the bottom of your messages indicate he’s seen the messages you’ve sent him.
Gray check marks on the bottom of your messages indicate the messages you’ve sent him have been delivered to his Whatsapp inbox.
If you’re chatting with him and you notice the check marks being gray he is likely to be texting with you and someone else simultaneously.
If he’s on the chat with you the check marks will automatically be blue. If he goes from one chat to another, your check marks will be gray for a while and then blue.
4. He hesitates using Whatsapp in front of you.
If he’s romantically or sexually involved with someone and he’s texting with that person through Whatsapp, then he’ll try his best to hide it from you.
When two partners are around each other they tend to be in the moment and spend time with one another.
However, there comes the inevitable moment when your phone buzzes and you’ve got to check who it is.
If you see him online on Whatsapp when you’re not around, yet he hesitates to use Whatsapp in front of you, he could be trying to hide something from you.
If he exclusively avoids or ignores calls and texts from Whatsapp, then he might just be talking to someone else on Whatsapp and doesn’t want you to find out.
9 ways to catch a cheating husband on WhatsApp?
5. You see unfamiliar names popping up from his Whatsapp notifications on his phone.
If you’ve known him for a while, you’re likely to know people that are close to him, his habits, and the people he spends time texting with.
Seeing unfamiliar names popping up from his Whatsapp notifications on his phone could mean he’s texting someone on Whatsapp.
This, of course, doesn’t strictly indicate he’s cheating online but you have to be vigilant because it can be a sign he is.
If you’re feeling doubts about a name you’ve never heard before that appeared on his Whatsapp notifications, then ask him about it.
His response will give it away.
6. His last seen doesn’t match with the last time he told you goodnight.
You can know a person is talking to someone on Whatsapp if their status is ‘online’.
The last seen status on Whatsapp tells you when a person has last used Whatsapp.
If he’s your partner, and your text good night every night, yet you’re doubting he’s talking to someone else on Whatsapp, then you’ve got to check his last seen!
If he tells you he’s going off to sleep at 10 pm and in the morning you see that his ‘last seen’ on Whatsapp was at 1 am, then he might be talking to someone else.
Of course, this can happen once or twice to any of us. However, take note of it if such behavior is becoming a constant.
Finding out the truth: How do I know who my boyfriend is chatting with on Whatsapp?
The way to know with whom someone is chatting on Whatsapp isn’t quite easy.
Whatsapp encrypts calls and messages, so there are no ‘hacking’ methods for you to access his Whatsapp to find out who he’s chatting with.
Nevertheless, there are a few ways, some risky, that could just give you that access!
Here’s how you know who your boyfriend is chatting with on Whatsapp:
– Ask him who he’s texting on Whatsapp.
One of the most direct ways to know who he’s chatting with on WhatsApp is to ask him directly.
Clear and open communication is key to a healthy relationship.
If you’re insecure about his behavior, if you’re having doubts about who he’s texting with, then ask him.
If you’re confused as to what to say, here’s something that could help:
- Avoid accusing him. Try maintaining a calm approach by using “I” statements to prevent an accusatory tone.
- You could say something along the lines of “I’m in need of reassurance because I saw an unfamiliar name pop up from your Whatsapp notifications. Would you help me clear my doubts by telling me who she is?”
– Check his phone when he’s not around.
If you talked to him and you felt like he lied to you, then you can check his phone.
You must keep in mind that this is something that violates his privacy and that it can have a tremendously negative effect on the level of trust in your relationship.
If you know his passcode, grab the phone and go to his Whatsapp.
Check for messages, the unfamiliar names, and you can directly see who he’s talking to on Whatsapp.
If you feel like he’d try to hide things from you check the ‘Archive’ file of the messages.
Whatsapp does not have a ‘Secret Chat’ feature but it does have ‘Archive’.
If ‘Archive’ doesn’t appear in his Whatsapp inbox it’s because he didn’t archive any chats.
Although this method is likely to get rid of your doubts, you have to think this through before you decide on doing it.
– Using tracking apps.
There are apps that can provide you access to another person’s phone once you install the app on their phone.
Cheating men can get away with a lot of things and their wrongful behavior can go unnoticed due to their ability to convince other people.
If you feel like your partner is hiding things from you and you’re ready to take extreme measures to find the truth then this is another way to find the truth.
Again, Whatsapp messages are end-to-end encrypted, hence no one could hack the app and read the entire conversations.
However, tracking apps such as the ones parents use to monitor their kids’ phones and devices, record the activity on the phone.
So, technically, these apps are not hacking, they’re recording the activity.
If you feel like this is the right choice for you, then here are some app suggestions:
All you have to do is read the manual for the app you want to use, install the app on his phone, and see everything he does with his phone including who he texts on Whatsapp.
If you’re doubting he’s using WhatsApp, social media, or dating apps to talk to other people then you can take lighter measures such as searching for his phone number on Socialcatfish.
It will show you whether he’s using social media, his followers, his following, whether he’s using dating apps, etc.
Conclusion
Healthy relationships have their foundations built on trust, love, open communication, and compassion.
If your connection with your partner is healthy, addressing your doubts with him won’t be a problem. He will find ways to reassure you.
However, if your connection is toxic, a lot of your actions will stem from a toxic mindset or views on how relationships work.
It’s never too late to improve. With the help of a relationship expert or a therapist, you can take the first steps to a new, healthy view of relationships.
Love,
Callisto
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