A guy is really busy and not losing interest if he spares some of his time to let you know that he’s going through a tough time right now.
Indeed, a guy might not always know that his new actions might impact you negatively, especially if you’re not officially dating.
The moment that he’s keeping you on the back curb but doesn’t make an effort to explain or gaslights you then he is losing interest.
But, to define if he’s really busy that he can’t maintain a simple connection with you or is he losing interest here are 11 cases/signs:
1. You’re the only one initiating texts, calls and he was the one doing it
If he has a sudden change in his behavior and now doesn’t text you good morning or goodnight then he might start losing interest.
Especially, if both of you managed a healthy relationship and you and him used a balanced communication.
But now you can tell that he’s not as enthusiastic as before when he texted or called you.
Even his replies might constantly be shorter and he’s not interested to know how your day went or how you’re feeling.
If he likes you and is still interested, even when he’s busy, he’ll send a simple voice message or a quick video or meme to make your day.
2. He seems more distracted than usual
In life, everyone can get distracted because life can get very busy.
But, if he is distracted a lot when you talk or hang out with him and he’s constantly on his phone then he’s losing interest.
Relationships change over time and it’s normal to have different dynamics.
Hence, if he always tries to change the subject and not talk about the relationship or his feelings, he might slowly pull away.
To understand exactly what is going on in his mind, a relationship coach can pin down this issue very quickly.
3. He gives you mere or no excuses at all for canceling plans
He did lose interest and is not busy if he doesn’t care to excuse himself.
I am not implying that he needs to let you know about every little detail, especially if you’re not dating exclusively.
But, if he disappears for days and comes back as if nothing has happened then he might be playing around.
One day he makes you feel like you’re the only girl in the world and even says I love you.
And the other day, he might ghost you or not do even the bare minimum, like talk to you or even reply.
4. He starts to belittle you out of the blue
If the relationship was great and you were dating for a few months but he starts being arrogant or showing true colors he might do it to push you away.
Maybe he was keeping his dating options open while dating you and now he met someone else.
He doesn’t want to confront you or even admit his feelings and wants to play safe that’s why he tries to make you feel bad about yourself.
Thus, he thinks then you’ll notice that he doesn’t want you and you’ll let him go.
In this case, you shouldn’t let anyone go over your boundaries and disrespect you.
5. He starts to show less affection daily
Is he losing interest or just being busy when he shows less affection?
Well, it could be a bit of both. When he is way too tired and busy, he might be anxious and wants to spend some time on his own.
Yet, if he isn’t losing interest but is just busy, he might try to excuse himself for giving cold vibes.
The one who wants you is afraid to lose you. That’s why even if he is the busiest man alive, he might show signs of affection.
Like a small or simple kiss, holding hands, or just cuddling.
8. He makes you feel unwanted
Has he lost interest or is he just busy when he makes you feel unwanted?
Well, for sure if he doesn’t want you around him anymore, he will try to push you away.
I’ve been in the same position when he was trying to distance emotionally from me and I was blaming myself for it.
He started to ignore me or my presence to be more specific.
He just stopped doing the bare minimum and tried to convince me that I was asking for too much.
Nothing in a healthy relationship is too much. I was just asking him to hang out with mutual friends but he didn’t want me to hang out with them.
He indirectly told me that we look like misfits but then he might still hang out with them on his own.
And he did a lot of other things that it made it look like unrequited love.
9. He is doing other things instead of spending time with you
When he’s slowly losing interest he just doesn’t want to invest in you anymore.
He will slowly drift away and spend more time with his friends or doing other activities that aren’t his priorities.
He will cancel plans suddenly and not bother to make it up to you.
And the dating coach Matt Boggs explains that you attract the love and respect that you want only when you claim what type of respect you deserve.
Thus, even if you’re not dating exclusively and he gives more time to other things than yourself consider the fact of moving forward.
10. He isn’t making an effort to upgrade the relationship
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship and he was ready to commit but now suddenly something changed he might be losing interest.
You might accidentally or on purpose hurt him and now he is slowly drifting away to protect himself.
In this case, you might feel that something is off because it feels like you’re stuck in a bubble.
And even though you’re trying to move forward as a couple, he might stay a few steps behind.
11. He doesn’t have time to enjoy his life or hang out with others
When he’s really busy and isn’t losing interest, you might notice that he struggles to find even 10 seconds to interact with you.
He even apologizes for this lack of consistency and tries to make it up to you.
But when he loses interest, he will act like he’s busy but still hang out a lot with his friends and do many activities with others.
Even when you want some explanations, he will act rudely and accuse you that you’re overreacting.
The dating coach Katie Wang highlights that a man or a woman who wants a relationship will go out after it no matter what.
Even when he’s confused and his feelings are changing, he might still choose to prioritize you to some point.
Sometimes before defining if he’s really busy or losing interest, try to point at yourself.
Maybe you’re just overwhelmed or going through a hard time and it might look like you don’t have the needed attention and love.
Thus, when he’s busy, he’ll let you know and you won’t feel indifferent.
~When you’re overthinking it, you might notice that even his little actions will make you doubt his intentions and feelings for you.
~On the other hand when he’s losing interest and you’re not overthinking it, he will constantly try to make you feel like you’re too demanding.
Or he might make you think that you’re always doing something wrong and is not even trying to help you to try and solve this matter.
To define it, it’s better to talk with a therapist and they will help you to work and define your attachment style.
Then you’ll learn if you have an anxious attachment style or if is he really losing interest.
What to do if you notice that he is losing interest and not just being really busy?
If he isn’t really busy but is losing interest, you should embrace the situation by shifting your focus from him to you.
Indeed, it’s very hard to think about yourself at that moment but that’s the most important thing that you should do.
Once you prioritize yourself, you’ll react differently. You’ll either try to fix yourself or let it go.
1. Don’t expect too much, be realistic.
When you’ve invested a lot in a man, you want him to do the same thing.
And when he doesn’t engage anymore like he did or there’s a change in his behavior you start to panic and even romanticize.
You might start to think that maybe he’s doing it for this or that reason.
That’s why you should never have unrealistic expectations but try to take a step back or a break so you can think clearly.
2. Don’t restrict yourself.
If you’re just talking or casually dating then there’s no good reason if you don’t keep your options open.
Especially if you’re not dating exclusively then you don’t need to focus only on him and not explore.
I know that it’s not an easy thing to do if you don’t prefer it or if you have strong feelings for him.
But it’s better to know that you have other options if he doesn’t want to be exclusive or invest in you or create a relationship.
3. Talk about exclusivity.
Here’s another thing that you should do. Even if you’re in the early stages of dating, talk, communicate as much as you can.
There’s nothing wrong if you state your boundaries and tell him what you’re expectations are.
Especially, if you’ve known each other through dating apps then it’s better to state your aim in the beginning.
Because a lot of guys might use dating apps just to make experience or have a fling.
4. Don’t fight for his attention. Know when to move on.
If you try hard to fight for his attention when he’s busy or losing interest, this might push him away.
Thus, it’s better to give him and yourself some space. If you’re not available for him constantly, he will start to know your value.
And then you’ll see how he’ll interact with you. If he is losing interest, he might not try to communicate with you at all or might come and go abruptly.
If you don’t feel appreciated or respected by him then it’s better to set boundaries and move on.
The end: How can you define whether he’s really busy or losing interest?
You can define whether he’s really busy or losing interest when he creates a distance and doesn’t want to talk about his behavior.
Shortly, he starts to push you away but still keeps you as a plan b.
Because if he’s busy and can’t communicate, he will take even the smallest action to let you know or spend some time with you.
This period is quite confusing and unpleasant but please try to distance yourself by focusing on what will empower you right now.