If a guy likes you but is still online dating it means he is keeping his options open, isn’t sure about his feelings, or needs time to process all of this!
Maybe he needs an escape from everything, he might be overwhelmed or maybe just is passing the time on this app.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t ask a guy to put down his online profile on dating sites until you’re in a monogamous relationship.
If he is online after the third date then that’s not that deep.
He can like you, be interested in you and still be online dating at this time because he is still getting to know you.
This is all the result of “The paradox of choice”!
How is the paradox of choice related to his behavior?
According to psychologist Barry Schwartz the more choice people have, the more freedom they have, the more confused they’ll be.
He doesn’t avoid the chance of this situation being more profitable.
Thus, this is exactly what happens with online dating.
He likes and starts to date you but deep inside he knows and craves for something more because he knows there is MORE.
To define whether this phenomenon is good or bad in your situation, here are 12 reasons why he still checks his dating profile:
1. You haven’t talked about exclusivity yet
If you still haven’t talked about being exclusive then he will continue to keep his dating options open.
Because nothing is for sure and he doesn’t know how you feel deep down for him.
- You might have not talked about your future together and how you’ll upgrade your relationship.
Thus, this leaves space for doubt and space to explore more.
The dating coach Renee Slansky claims that dating serves as a character assessment.
Until you don’t state your boundaries and needs, he might think that you’re not into him.
2. He might be exploring other relationships
He is curious to see if other women could be the right partner for him.
He might be in that era that even he doesn’t know what he needs from a partner or what is suitable for him.
Thus, it means that he is in his experimental era and is keeping his dating options open until he finds someone that fits him.
You’ll know that he’s talking to someone else if his replies are shorter and he wants to meet only according to his schedule.
You’ll notice that something is off. Even if you confront him about that, he might claim that he isn’t using it.
Hence this story might have more meaning: Check the video below:
3. He takes online dating as open dating
I can confirm this according to my experience.
A few years ago, I met a guy on Tinder and we clicked very fast. Yet, I noticed that he didn’t reply very often even after we went on 5 dates.
While talking in person, nothing seemed wrong. And no it wasn’t that he was a bad texter or anything.
After talking to him and asking what we are, we concluded that the notion of online dating meant something different to him and me.
We cleared all that up and started to take the relationship slowly. I kept my dating options open too.
Thus, talk with him because what online dating means to you might not mean to him! Try to work with a relationship coach to be more subjective about the situation.
4. He might get bored very soon while dating
Hmmm, the syndrome of boredom in dating is real.
He might get very bored shortly after dating someone even if he likes you or someone else a lot.
That’s why if you’re talking to a guy and he updated his Tinder or Bumble profile, he must be looking to try new things.
Yet, you can’t know this for sure until you have a few dates with him and ask him a few questions about how he feels about the relationship.
5. He wants to hide his true feelings from his entourage
I am not implying that all men hide their feelings from their friends or family, but there is a chance that he might do it.
Especially if he’s shy or a player then he just doesn’t want to admit that he caught feelings for you and wants to commit to you.
Thus, his online profile will serve as a camouflage to admit his feelings.
- Don’t try to justify his actions if he makes you feel like you’re not his priority.
- If you don’t feel comfortable then try to talk with him. Because his hot and cold behavior might make you feel confused and irritated.
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6. He wants to challenge himself
He needs to interact with others or just check how many women swiped right just to feel confident while dating you
He wants to see how many relationships he can maintain or how many women he might attract.
Maybe he might like you but he is still online dating because he’s craving to boost that ego and maybe feel confident in front of you.
Or, he just wants to feel superior because he might feel that you’re out of his league.
7. You didn’t set your boundaries from the beginning
When a guy still uses his online dating profile, he might do it because neither of you talked about your boundaries.
Sometimes, you become all euphoric at the beginning of the relationship or maybe when just hanging out.
This happens because you go through a rollercoaster of feelings and might forget to think about the future while living in the moment.
Thus, if you know that you never talked about what you like about him and what might bother you in the relationship then do it.
8. He can’t commit to just one person
He might like you but he might not like the idea of commitment.
So, he might constantly update his profile: change his profile photo and his bio.
Sometimes a man doesn’t like to admit this and continues with you like nothing is happening.
Don’t get yourself in a situation where you don’t know what you are to him.
If you talk earlier about this thing bothering you it’s easier to manage what’s to come.
9. He aims to be FWB
Meeting on dating apps means that he is your date and not your partner.
If you’re using Bumble then you write to a guy that you want and at some point, it’s easier to understand a bit closely his intentions.
What I mean is that most of a guy is using Tinder to get laid down and be friends with benefits.
He isn’t looking for commitment but he is looking for something to fill his void.
So be careful, even if he likes you and you become intimate at first, he might just continue stringing you along.
10. You aren’t on the same page
You might think that you’re dating exclusively but he might see it from another angle.
You might have taken some mixed signals or maybe romanticized the relationship or how he felt towards you.
When you like someone very much, you tend to think that he is treating you like his number one.
But, on the contrary, he might be taking things more slowly than you. He might not like to proceed with the relationship this fast.
Try to talk to him and let him know how you feel about him, the relationship, this dating process, and his online profile.
11. He might use it as a tool to manipulate you
He doesn’t want to appear weak and do all the pursuing.
That’s why he doesn’t want to fully invest in the relationship and decides immediately to commit to you.
He wants to not appear as an easy catch and wants to keep you wondering what will he do next.
Usually, a man that doesn’t feel confident or has past relationship trauma will use these types of tactics.
12. He saw that you didn’t delete your profile either
It is what it is. He mirrors your actions.
Indeed, this isn’t fair but that’s the thing about online dating.
He cannot be at ease if he knows that you’re swiping right while you spend time with him.
Thus, if you have been dating at least for 4 months, you should talk about your relationship status and dating apps.
Don’t jump immediately into accusing him because you’re on these dating apps yourself.
Take your time and talk about how he makes you feel and what you want.
Can I trust a guy who acts as if we’re dating but still actively updated his online dating profile?
Whether you can trust a boy who acts as if you’re dating but still actively updated his online dating profile depends on the reason he’s doing it.
He might do it just to make you jealous or to act hard to pursue.
Hence, a guy might turn down his dating profile but still have other red flags and still cheat on you.
Trust me, when he wants to not be with you and cheat you, he’ll find a way.
Yet, trust is built over time. You should slowly try to be open to him and build an emotional connection.
But beware, don’t invest too much in a relationship if he keeps his dating option open for more than 5 months. That’s a big red flag!
What should I do If a guy that I’m seeing is still active on dating sites?
The first thing that you should do if a guy that you’re seeing is still active on dating sites is not to panic and be euphoric.
Because remember that you’re not dating exclusively and you can’t ask him to commit to you from the first date.
The first stage of dating is designed to build attraction and get to know one another a bit more.
That’s what the dating process is about. But if you’re dating exclusively then that’s another thing.
The dating coach Susan Winter claims that you should be diplomatic when you express your opinion on this matter.
1. Don’t accuse him, just state your needs.
Be vulnerable with him. This doesn’t make you weak and doesn’t give him the upper hand.
On the contrary, it makes you stronger because you know your needs and you’re just asking these needs to be taken into consideration.
2. Ask him what is his opinion about this relationship.
It’s important to know where he stands in this situation. I am aware that a man can lie and act like everything is perfectly fine and he is tremendously in love with you.
But check his body language, because this type of language will tell you a lot about how he feels in reality.
3. Continue with your life and don’t become obsessed with this issue.
It’s a hard thing to do but it’s better to give him some space and build yourself at the same time.
Try to hang out with other people and you might even see new people.
Just do it after talking to him, setting your needs, and getting his answer.
When should I ask him to delete dating apps?
You should ask him to delete the dating apps when both of you claim that you’re dating exclusively and it’s been almost 5 months.
Until you both talk about exclusivity then he will keep looking. Even if he likes you a lot and is ready to form a healthy relationship then you can ask him.
Otherwise, if you do it immediately then it might scare him away.
But, if this is on your priority list then that’s nothing wrong to do. You might ask him subtly and a guy that likes you will shut down his profile.
Even if the relationship doesn’t work, he must invest time and give attention to you during this time.
But if his mind is wandering and he is thinking about other women at the same time, it’s hard to develop strong and healthy feelings.
The final verdict: He still checks his dating profile!
If he still checks his dating profile that means that he is still fighting with his feelings and thoughts to make a decision.
He’s either still using Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, or any other dating app, to boost his ego or just to check if someone is interested in him yet.
There is that void that he needs to fill it.
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you but that uncertainty or longing for something more keeps him hanging.
Still, if you have been dating for at least 6 months, you should already talk about it.
Wish you the best,